minggu ini dalam sejarah

tuesday, 22 april 2008

i was in maybank bandar baru ampang. bapak's hp no appeared on my mobile phone. it was along. at first i thought of nothing wrong until i sensed something was not right because along was asking sort of stupid questions. and i had a feeling that he was trying to figure out how to inform me a news.

"moto bapak hilang, ada org curi subuh tadi. mak nak kuar gi keje, tengok moto takde"

i was stunned. bapak had just recently bought that bike with his allowance & winning money from paralympic games.

i went to bapak's place that night. bapak was in sorrow. whilst listening to the au5's CSI's report, bapak was resting in front of tv. then he sat, looking at me.

i could feel his despair

i could feel his lost

i could feel his sadness

i could feel his anger

i could feel his hope

he did'nt say much. but his eyes said it all..

while i was in maybank this morning, i could not even curse the thieves. i could only think, "hari ni ko bersuka ria la angkut moto bapak aku, akhirat besok berdukalara la angkut dosa2 ko". but upon looking at bapak, i wish i could do more for him.

"tak pelah bapak... kita redha saja. one day, ada rezeki lebih, i'll buy u a new moto - insya Allah"

thursday, 24 april 2008

i have just came back from maknek's place, fetching adam & ammar. then i saw this pakcik misai-ganteng, delivering flyers from house to house. i stopped infront of makcik pah's gate giving way for him to deliver the flyers.

he didn't stopped at kak shida's house. auik? my instant thought was maybe because kak shida is only renting that house. so perhaps there's no reason to distribute the flyer to her house.

but then he skipped my house too. auik? apa kes nih? i starred at him. he did'nt do anything. and delivered the flyer into makcik pah's post box. and to my other neighbours?

that was NOT right!

what make me different from my other neighbours?

first of all, i do not RENT this house. myself and made OWN this house. wanna see the s&p agreement? kami penduduk tetap kawasan ini ok!

yes, we are not the original penduduk of this kawasan, but neither do the mat despatch, pakcik misai-ganteng. he bought the house from pakcik matsom. how do i know that fact? because that house belongs to a friend of mine. and his father, pakcik matsom, has moved to bangi.

yes, made & i not a frequent "visitor" to the surau nearby. not because we suka2 tanak pegi. but we have time constraint and we are woking and we still have errands to run after working hours (these are called alasan ye kawan2). but we have made effort to join the community. we attended the ceramah (which was not informed to us like others. we figured it out thru a banner). made will occasionally perform his solat fardhu in the surau. we invited our neighbours for some makan2 when we have any.

i voted pas for the recent election and saari sungib has won.

so what make us different? why should we be pulled out from the list?

itu hari suruh sangat kami bergiat dalam aktiviti kemasyarakan & surau. tapi kalo tidak diinformkan, macam mananya kami nak tau?

cuba jawab pakcik2, makcik2 ajk BAKAU?

thursday, 25 april 2008

i was in maknek's place wanting to fetch adam & ammar. adam was sleeping, not very to my surprise, with puting. it was not my first time caught adam with puting whilst he's sleeping. not my very first time, i pulled it out and told adam off about this habit. but this time around, i had to put my foot down.

i told maknek that i was dissapointed with her. i told her that she was not helping me and made to get adam out of this habit.

i was harsh and my words were hard. i'm sorry..

i've been telling maknek about how we tried to pull adam out of his habit. i've been telling her how adam was coping with "no puting" environment. i've been telling stories to maknek how was it hard to adam and how he is now ok with the situation.

but whats the use of complimenting adam on all his effort at his own home when he's not achieving anything at maknek's house?

got what i mean?

i know... maknek has been helping me with adam since adam was 2 months old. i could never repay that contribution. but, if she really loves adam as much as i love adam, i just need her to support my moves to mould adam to be a better person. that's only it.

i hope she could understand. it's not that i'm controlling. well, maybe, perhaps, yes a bit. its just because adam is my only child. my only son. my only treasure. my life!

please understand.. i appreciate that...

adam danial, head to toe sponsored by mickey mouse

malu seh..

penah tak korang tegur org, tapi sembang punya sembang punya sembang punya sembang, tak alih-alih salah org? kehkehkehkeh.. malu kan??

meh nak kongsi cite ngan u all..

ada la satu hari tukan, i was in empire tower, city square. peh tu nampak la satu lady ni. sekali pandang macam kawan lama. so i pegilah tegur..

"heyyy...... zakiah kan?"

"eh.. bukan.."

mak datuk.. time tu rasa tebalnya muka... dahlah time nak tegur tu senyum sampai ke telinga. muka excited giler. sekali salah org..

addddduuuuhhhhh.... malu! malu! malu!

tapikan.. tebal muka time tu tak terlawan my second incident. it happened in iskl. ye.. di tempat kejeku. time tu ada international fest. so ramailah orgnya. ntah kenapanya hari tu i pun sangatlah peramah tamah makmahnya

we were heading to our car. sambil tu mata i meliar tengok keliling. spot this one car. this one lady, she looked exactly like my aunty who stayed in bukit indah. my thought, "oh.. mak long pun ada". so i lambai-lambai. kindda excited looking at her. and she came towards me. at that point, i looked at the driver. ah sudah! takde rupa my uncle langsung. time tu dah rasa nak panjat bumbung iskl.. tapi sebab that lady dah jalan towards me, buat menten jelah..

"hai...... have we met?" she said

ha ko.. rasa nak pitam time tu jugak.. apelah nasib ni.. salah org pulak ha.. walaubagaimanapun, i pity that lady. she tried hard to recall where we met. padahal tak penahlah berjumpanya. nasib baik anak2 dia kat elementary school. kalo kat middle/high school memang i pakai jubah tutup muka gi keje. malu giler!!

and baru kejap ni terjadi lagi satu insiden. we went out for dinner. i wanted to order this tahu bakar. so i pusing belakang, i nampak this guy. memang meja tu selalunya tempat budak tahu bakar tu duduk. dengan rasa terujakan tahu bakar tu, i pun orderlah kat dia. apa lagi.. both dia dengan awek dia cengang-cengang. aduhai.. salah orang pulak dah... malu lagi.. nasib baik lepas insiden, budak tu blah. kalo tak, mau terbakar je rasa duk kat situ.

moral of the story, pegilah buat pemeriksaan mata selalu. kehkehkehkehkeh

"maskot malu-malu konon"

i'm 30

aris's passing has given quite a deep impact on me. it has made me realize how short & valuable life is. and how Allah has given me chance to rebuild & reconstruct my inner-strength and faith.

alhamdulillah..

my gratitude goes to all my good & best friends ever in my life. one best friend since i was a 6 years old kid said this to me the other day "na.. if a newborn will cause you your life, please forget about it and dont make me regret". this was then concurred by another good friend. i'm touched whole-heartedly.

thank you..

reality, i wish i could just chew what the doc has said and spit it out. the obstacles are to hard. just when i thought i could sleep with the fact that newborn is a life vs death situation for me, i was awoken with another news.

"well.. from the test we had, you have two fibroids. one is 2.75cm and harmless. and the other one is 2cm but it's approaching your uterus line. this might be the reason why you're having the pain and it's pretty dangerous for pregnancy. but not to worry.. i've had cases worst than this".

"but i dont have 2 fibroids. i have only one which i had since i was a bachelor. and it dissapeared during my pregnancy. how can you say there is two when there is only one, 2 months ago?"

"well, lets monitor it for the next 2 months. if you're still having pain, perhaps operation is the best. however, the good news is, you're out of cancer"

"are you sure?"

"only the One above can decide that. as from my view, you are 95% free of cancer"

half sweet, half bitter!

went home, called mak, asked for 2nd opinion. and i had another not-so-interesting-info-for-my-listening..

"aren't fibroids some kind of cancer?"

completely bitter!

it has been a week since i got the news. trying hard not to think about it. some said fibroid is genetic. could be true. mak had it. but as for now, i'm living with it...

"yang.. do you want another baby?"
"i dont mind.. after all, you ARE my baby"

notakaki: the title acts as a reminder that i'm counting days for my birthday, my dear friends :P

l-o-v-e

the fact that made needs to be away on business trip has been quite routine for both me and adam. not to say i'm taking it easy nowadays but i'm trying hard to adapt into the situation. honestly, the feeling is still the same. i still feel terrible. i still miss him, as much as i miss on his first trip to bakun. i miss him even more whenever i came to the fact that this is the requirement of his job. his rice bowl.

alhamdulillah, technology has kept us closer. we are engaged with skype, ym, googletalk, etc. name it.. it's all downloaded for our better communication. when technology doesn't come cheap but there are still freebies :) we communicate each day. we sms-ing, we ym-ing, we chat-ing, all we can do.. just to ease the feeling that distance doesnt really a big thing...

i hate this distance. but i appreciate how it makes me feel closer & love made even more. i appreciate how it makes me closer to adam. and i appreciate the fact that this distance has brought myself closer to the Almighty. and also taught me some sense of anger management. every clouds has its silver lining. i've seen mine... alhamdulillah :D

all these has been good except the fact that, adam needs his ayah. who could bear the sadness of seeing her lovely child holding a picture of his ayah in his hand while laughing watching tom & jerry's silliness? who could avoid having tears seeing her child wishing "good nite" to his ayah, in the little small frame. who could fight the feeling of seeing this only child crying and asking for his ayah and at the same time clinging to mama since he opened his eyes in the morning till the time he has fall asleep...

***




L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
V is very, very extraordinary
E is even more than anyone that you adore

can love, it’s all that I can give to you
love is more than just a game for two
two in love can make it
take my heart but please don’t break it
love was made for me and you

maulidur rasul

lokasi: kaunter kentaki, melawati

kaunter: selamat petang kak. selamat datang ke kentaki. makan sini?

kakak: tak. bawak balik

kaunter: balik mana kak?

kakak: er.. rumah..

kaunter: rumah akak kat mana kak?

kakak: er... au4

kaunter: oo.. yg ada ceramah maulidur rasul tadi eh kak? ada ustaz haji daud salleh kan kak? best tak ceramah dia kak?

kakak: mm.. boleh tahanlah. funny guy

kaunter: dia ada cite pasal student murtad kak? kesian mak ayah student tu kan kak? tulah pasal.. salah derang jugak kan kak? kenapa dia paksa budak tu amik course yg budak tu tanak kan kak? ha.. kan dah budak tu protes sampai murtad. bebudak skang ni kak.. bukanlah saya nak kata apa. tapi kadang2 pendek akal. tapi heran jugakkan kak? budak tu hapal yassin, surah2 dalam al-quran dan bagai2. ni dah murtad, nak sedekah al-fatihah kat mak ayah pun dah tak boleh dah..

kakak: .. a'ah.. saya nak...

kaunter: lagi ustaz daud tu ada cite pasal akidah umat zaman Nabi Muhammad s.a.w vs umat zaman skang kak?

kakak: ada jugak..

kaunter: ha kan kak.. tulah.. saya pun rasa banyak beza dulu dengan sekarang. lagi banyak pembangunan lagi hanyut manusia akhir zaman ni. betul la org kata dalam church tu ramai org melayu kan kak? tapikan kak.. mak saya kata, jangan tersilap tafsir. mungkin derang tu indonesian atau org filipina atau pun org thai. muka derangkan ala2 lebih kurang kita je kan kak kan?

kakak: betul jugak.. boleh saya..

kaunter: akak dah kawin dah kak?

kakak: dah..

kaunter: ha.. tadi mesti ustaz daud tu cite pasal 4 golongon isteri yg akan ke syurga dan 4 golongan yg akan ke neraka. betul kan?

kakak: betul..

kaunter: saya agak dah.. kita kena pandai menilai kak.. kita ni org pompuan.. nak ke neraka pun senang. nak ke syurga pun senang. yg penting, jaga diri kita, jaga suami kita, jaga hubungan kita dengan Allah. bukannya kita kena sms & call Allah tu pun. kita hanya perlu beramal saja. lakukan apa yg disuruh dan tinggalkan apa yg dilarang. sonang baitu.. perempuan yg bergelar isteri ni kak.. kena ada ciri2 pemalu. kena jaga kehormatan dia sebagai seorang isteri. barulah sang suami berbangga. barulah suami tidak terasa nak mencari galang ganti. betul kan cakap saya kak?

kakak: ha betul.. saya nak...

kaunter: anak kakak sorang ni je kak?

kakak: a'ah sorang

kaunter: bila nak tambah kak?

kakak: insya Allah..

kaunter: akak tau kak.. golongan ke empat yg akan masuk syurga adalah isteri yg ramai anak kak.. yg penyabar melayan karenah anak2 dia. itu pasal lah syurga di bawah telapak kaki ibu.. betul tak cakap saya kak?

kakak: a'ah.. iye..

kaunter: nak ke neraka pun senang je kak... isteri yg tak jaga percakapan dengan suami, cakap tengking2 dengan suami.. ha.. dapat la lesen besar pegi neraka.. peh tu isteri2 yg memaksa suami dapatkan apa yg suami tak mampu pun, boleh contribute isteri masuk neraka tu kak. kakak datang sini ni, akak paksa suami akak ke tak?

kakak: er.. tak.. kami lapar..

kaunter: ha.. kalau persetujuan bersama tu tak pe.. jangan kita paksa dia. jangan jadi macam golongan ketiga isteri yg akan ke neraka. iaitu golongan org yg hidup tiada tujuan. kejap dia nak makan. lepas makan nak makan. lepas tu nak makan lagi.. peh tu dia tak tau nak buat apa dah. dahlah paksa suami dia beli itu ini, peh tu dia tak tau nak buat apa dah.. macam2 lah isteri sekarang. lepas tu kak.. memuliakan org luar daripada suami ni kak. ha.. itu golongan ke empat kak. aduh kak... kalo dekat opis tu bersakan berhias. kalo kat umah.. aduuuuhhhlahh.. bau bawang lagi wangi dari bau dia. tepek bedak dah macam tepek tar buat jalan. sampai laki malam2 bangun nak gi toilet pun boleh heart attack jadinya.. betul tak kak?

kakak: betul... dik...

kaunter: itulah kak.. kita ni, perempuan ni banyak kelebihan dan kekurangannya. kita yg pilih. kita yg tentukan. ala2 mengundi la jugak kak.. azmin ali datang tadi kak?

kakak: ada.. dah 3 suku ceramah baru sampai

kaunter: tak pelah. ahli parlimen kan sibuk.. tapi dia laki kak.. biarlah dia. dia cari rezeki untuk anak bini dia. bak kata ustaz daudlah kak.. yg penting balik keje, isteri dah sediakan air untuk suami. sambut dia dengan hati yg girang. dengan wajah yg manis. hati panas jadi sejuk, kak. suruh suami mandi dulu sebelum tanya "macam mana bonus abg tahun ni?". barulah dapat emas sampai pangkal lengan. kesimpulannya, semua ni bergantung pada kita. pada diri kita, sanubari, jiwa, raga kita. yg penting keikhlasan hati kita... tepuk dada tanya selera. ha.. berbalik tang selera, akak nak makan apa kak?

kakak: makan? ha.. makan.. saya nak makan jeli dengan aiskrim sudahla dik. nanti selasa depan, lepas akak dapat gaji akak datang lagi ye... tima kasih ye dik...

notakaki: gambar adalah hiasan semata. cerita di atas juga adalah ilustrasi penulis semata2 untuk menyampaikan ceramah ustaz haji daud salleh yg didengar di sambutan maulidur rasul anjuran badan kebajikan & khairat kawasan au4 (bakau) pagi tadi. harap maklum :D

pic taken from: www.grandmercuredarlingharbour.com.au

adam wants a baby

i was on my way home from mak's place with adam yesterday. then suddenly, at this junction adam raised up a question:

adam: mama.. mama dah beli baby ke?
mama: eh? kita mana boleh beli baby
adam: mama beli la baby. saya nak main dengan baby. dah lama saya nak main dengan baby
mama: mmmm.. nanti bila mama dah sihat, kita boleh main dengan baby eh. skang belum lagi. okeh?
adam: okeh....

then i asked him..

mama: kalau adam ada baby, adam nak bagi nama apa?
adam: nama macam saya lah
mama: nama adam jugak?
adam: yelah.. sama macam saya
mama: ish.. mana boleh.. nanti kalo mama panggil, dua-dua org pun pandang
adam: ha.. saya tau! saya bagi nama ultraman lah
mama: errrr.....

mak datuk anak akuuuuuu....... then ayah came home.

adam: ayah dah beli baby ke ayah?
ayah: ha? mana ada beli baby..
adam: ayah ni.. cepatlah beli baby. saya nak main dengan baby
ayah: ammar kan ada?
adam: ammar lasaklah.. dia suka tarik rambut saya..

nasib baik ayah tak pengsan.. hahahaha

marketing strategy

alin and i went to mekdi near to iskl this evening. before we reached the order counter, i saw this pokcik with plastic full of keropok keping (sila refer gambarajah di bawah untuk imej yg lebih lanjut). me, being me; i felt the urge to buy for the sake of "kesian kat pokcik tu". so when was i near him, i wind down the window. beginilah conversationnya:

pokcik: pokcik musafir ni nak. pokcik mari dari patani ni. ramai kawan pakcik mati sano. kena bunuh
i am: er....
pokcik: beli ja satu deh?! ike tenggiri ni. sedap ni.
i am: baper ringgit satu ni?
pokcik: kawe pokcik jua tigablas ringgit. pokcik jua limablas ringgit sajolah
i am: er....
pokcik: beli deh.. amik satu ja.. banyok isi nih. satu kelo. amik deh (seraya meletakkan keropok itu di peha gebu ku)
i am: bulih la...

so i gave him rm50. all he has was rm1 & rm5. so he counted 10, 20, 30. then he stopped

pokcik: baper wi tadi? pokcik dok reti kiro. tok skoloh tinggi
i am: tiga puluh lima
pokcik: ho lah.. timo kasih dehh...

then we got our icecream. and i couldn't stop thinking these things:

1) apa kaitan kawan dia terbunuh kat patani dengan keropok keping ikan tenggiri dia?
2) camne nak meniaga tapi tak reti kira? tapi pandai amik untung rm2 dari kawan dia..

macam2 sungguh marketing strategy nih..

leap year baby..

semalam besday mokteh... mokteh is bapak's younger sister. bapa has other 7 siblings. 4 of them had passed away. another 4 still surviving. mokteh is one of those who is lucky to be born on 29 february. a leap year baby. myself, made & adam celebrated mokteh's birthday at her home in klang today.. a joyous event for mokteh's 12 years old :) - she's actually in her 40s.

"cepatlah wan uteh.. tiup lah lilin tu"

"ala adam.. wan dah lama tak tiup lilinlah.. tak tau macam mana nak tiup"

"cam ni la wan"

"fuuuhhhhhhhh"

"ok adam... kita potong pulak. 1, 2, 3..."

"pissssssssss..... happy birthday wan uteh"

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOKTEH! SEMOGA DIMURAHKAN REZEKI & DIPANJANGKAN UMUR. AMIN!

in memory of a dear friend

23.02.08

10:20pm - i received a call from sherry.
"anna, i have a bad news from makcik pi. aris syah dah meninggal"
"hah? u jangan main2 sherry"
"tak.. i serius"
i put down the phone. i contacted kodi, aris's best friend. as soon as he answered, i asked where he was.
"kat rumah arwahlah"
"jadi betul la nih?"
"betul"
soon after, i received an sms from isma "sahabat kite aris shah telah kembali ke rahmatullah. jenazah di rumah lembah keramat".
confirmed - aris has passed away.


11:00pm - sherry and i made move to aris's house. he was there... lying breathless. gosh! this can't be true... then i met my maklong nor who happen to be aris's neighbour.
"mak dia kol dia dari pagi. tapi tak berangkat. mak dia kata dia demam dari semalam (friday). dia kata nak pegi klinik pagi ni. dah petang tu, mak dia kol maklong suruh tengokkan rumah dia. best friend dia pecahkan bilik dia dari umah neigbour sebelah ni sebab all doors locked. tengok dia dah takde dah. paramedic kata dah about 4 hours he passed away. mak dia still kat tanjung malim ni. maklong tanak break the news lah. better if she comes and things reveal itself"
oh! poor aris.... aris's body was taken away by the police for post-mortem. i still can't believe it's true...

24-02-08

i decided to skip my afternoon class. thanks mr ter. rushed back home then to aris's house. myself, sherry, made & adam were the last to pay respect to arwah aris. i broke down and cried. yesterday, i couldn't recall anything about aris. not even how he looks like. and today, i just cant believe i've lost a friend. a dear friend. i attended the funeral. i cried. i paid my respect. and i'll miss aris.

aris has been a very dear friend. we became friends when i moved into sklk, about 19 years ago. he's a jovial person, talk big sometimes, but always keep friends at heart. he has been talking and planning about reunion. but it has not become reality but on his funeral. aris, your dream has come true, finally....

alfatihah

mohd aris syah bin mohd kaus tajuin
04.04.78 - 23.02.08
cause of death: meningitis
** pic taken from his friendster **

whats up yo?!

been long enuff kan? not lazy, not buzy, ideas come and go. but no urge to jot things down la.. so here are my list of updates...

1) went back to krai for CNY together with kak ti's & abe ajih's family. traffic was bad from gombak. but at ease soon after we reached bentong (was it, yang?). adam had joy playing with kakak hannah, abg ish & imran. next day had a makan-makan trip to kota bharu. 1st to kak nik's place for the daughter's wedding. kenduri hari jumaat, semacam je rasa. hehehe.. then to aunty zainah's place. then another eating session at ku & chek's place. then headed to kak nik je's house to pick up my murtabak diraja. (info: murtabak diraja is just like the normal murtabak that we saw in pasar malam or pasar ramadhan, but this one is quite thick. about 6cm?) then to kak ah's house to rest a bit and we split out with abe ajih & kak ti. they went to another majlis in pasar puteh whilst we headed down back to krai. on the way, singgah makan umah abg man. majlis sempena meraikan pemergian mek ye ke australia. reached home, adam demam. mama start batuk. went to search for clinic, all closed due to CNY. anyway, nothing much in bandar krai after 8pm. just like shah alam in 1990s. by 8pm dah macam dead city. the next day, packed up and made our move to kuantan. we left at about 1, reached kuala terengganu at about 4. a&w was packed with people so we marched down to kak ting's place. from there we drove to kuantan. 40 minutes atas jambatan dekat masjid terapung. tak tau pasal apa. masuk jalan ke kuala berang, sampai kuantan at about 10pm. reached keramat at about 2.54am. giler ngantuk & penat! in short, we spent our holiday in krai this time around by travelling and eating out..

2) celebrated mak & bapak's 32nd wedding anniversary in cozy corner, great eastern mall. cozy corner ampang park used to be our "grand" dine-in place. last time i used to feel jadik org kaya by having their chicken chop with gravy & fresh orange in. hehehe... full pack of people, so takde lah nak berlama-lama sangat. lagipun kami bertiga dah memang lama kat situ sebab tunggu yg lain sampai. :P before that sherry and i went to ichiban moshi in pavillion. giler best punya sushi outing... kena makan lagi.

3) brought adam for some mandi-manda at kak na's place in pj. adam showed his "berenang-tak-basah-kepala" and "berenang-dengan-hanya-bend-kaki" skills. makan2. turun bawah tengok keta kena clamped. hampehhh.. thanks to kak aishah & her singaporean kiasu. we managed to get them opened the clamps without having to pay the RM50 fees. hehehehehe

what else eh...

4) our project on "burp" had to be called off. sedehhh.... apparently, the two chefs will not be available for the project any longer. well... actually the first chef je.. tapi takan sorang je nak masak kan? mana larat.. so, dengan rasa keciwa, we wish to inform that we will not be doing the food delivery service. we still have hope that the "burp" project will, insya Allah, be a reality.

5) i had an appointment with dr. alex matthews of gleneagles the other day. he's a gynae. 2 news from the doc. good one, my female internal organs are in a perfecto condition. bad news, he can't seem to determine why am i having pain before & after my menses. few doctors thought it got to do with my appendices. but i have removed my appendices few years ago. even before i got married. so in conclusion, they can only say the pain was probably due to the scar & addition collic (colleague? kolik? ntah tak retilah nak eja...) from adam's delivery. disturbing news ain't it? it's like telling me "well madam, please get pregnant if you wish, but you're in a life-death situation". ok.. some may not understand... during adam's delivery, i had some complications - womb tear - across the muscle, O2 low, nicu for 2 days, failure of epidural & spinal, was advised to get preggy after 2-3 years, blood patch, stupid tukang urut whom after 3 days asked me "what is caesarean?". so my deary friends, please dont ask me "bila adam nak dapat adik?" we (as made & myself) had a discussion and we thought, perhaps adam is enuff for us. when we thought that's the best solution we could think off, we could see, adam needs a buddy.. he hasn't been asking, but the brotherly attitude that he shows towards ammar says it all. oh! it's hard and i'm helpless :(

precious life

one, i've enrolled into certificate in human resource management studies for a period of 6 months. it was a last minute decision. kufee had informed me weeks earlier but i was not so into it. i know it's my chance for career development & enhancement. but somehow, i was not quite sure. neither that i had a thought of informing my boss about it. reason being, if i were to tell my boss, would she consider me as a "too ambitious" little lady? would she be expecting more from me? would my studies be of a favour to the department? uh! eventually, i did informed her. my boss was so supportive. and i have even had my first lecture on EPF withdrawal from her. her piece of advice "do not withdraw from your EPF. that's your savings when you have reached 56 and of no one's service except for yourself & family. tak baca policy ka? apply for subsidy/study loan la" ngehngehngeh.. for this period of time, gua sayang giler sama gua punya bos :D and so i went for my class. today was my 2nd class. entertaining! my only hope is that i wont go blank on exams day. i last sat for exam was about 8 years ago. gosh! i forsee, the first term is pretty interesting. come 2nd term, sure sangap tahap dewa dewi punyalah. employment act, industrial relations, etc. tang akta-akta ni sure mph my brain sengal. nak ingat kes pulak nanti tetiba hard disk memory crash. aduhhh! mintak jauhlah.. my precious life note: must keep going!

two, i was on leave on friday and brought adam for some jalan2 cuci mata in avenue k & klcc. we were in the toys'r'us when i heard the news on the death of the MIC's-whoever-he-was and some updates on the missing sharlinie. at that point, i quickly grabbed adam. i was so intimidated! i wanted to request for an escort to the parking, but i had this contemplating feeling. "would the guard send me safely to my car?", "would he harm me?". with the whole series of killing, raping, abducting here and there, i have become extra cautious of my surrounding. and i have somehow developed suspicious feeling & thought of not to trust anybody. not even the security people. i have doubt in them. i have become more penakut & paranoid after reading the saturday's newspaper!! oh gosh! whats more to come? that nite, i couldnt sleep. i had adam on my right hand, i held made firmly on my left. i had fear of losing. of any circumstances, i dont know how would i go thru the situation. touchwood!!! please dont let it be me! my precious life note: life goes on!

three, both made and me went for iskl's mid year party to celebrate the 1500 students placements' achievement in renaissance hotel. hurrah!! we left pretty early and headed to klcc for an intimate shopping trip hehehe.. then we went to meet my smlk's friends. they had a gathering to discuss on the reunion. i am so looking forward for the reunion. uh! i hope to slim down before the day. hehehe.. it was nice to meet with friends that have been away for more than 10 years. my precious life note: nostalgia!

four, made is pretty tight with his new job. kesian dia :( i'm still in stage of understanding his work requirements. balik lambat. business trips. updating systems. notes here and there. talking to oneself. calls from team members. presentation materials. uh! i've never seen my darling being soooo occupied with his works! i wish the best for him! i wish the best for his bonus this year. boleh gi shopping lagi. hahahahaha.. my precious life note: motivation = needs!

five, finally on adam. hehehe.. alhamdulillah.. adam has been able to cope with mama & ayah's request. no puting sighted. but both of us knew he still curik2 isap puting. tak pelah.. i can't put hard time on him. he needs some times oso. right? whenever we see him into his room or in his little khemah or he asks us to be away for a while, we know lah.. that's his private time. first few days was pretty hard. nak tido, mengaruk la sikit. bagai pungguk rindukan bulan anak mek sorang ni. ngehngehngeh.. my precious life note: puting is addictive! say tak nak to puting. hahahaha

tough nite

it has been a tough nite for me, made and adam. both me and made are trying very hard to get rid of adam's habit - nyonyot puting.

our little treasure is turning 4 this year. we think, it's time that adam put off that habit.

we have actually went into battles with adam:

1. we told him to leave the puting if he wants to watch tv - failed. it's either mama or ayah is too bz with the computers and didn't realize this young guy is enjoying his puting. bad parenting :(
   
2. we told him that he will get his toys if he willingly put the puting away - failed. we love buying toys for adam. seeing him enjoying his toys makes us on the top of the world (tho i know the toys either wont last, or he woulnd't be bothered about it after a day or two)
   
3. we told him that puting is only for him to sleep - failed. everytime also "mama, saya nak tido", :P there was one time that he actually sneaked into my room and came out after 5 minutes. the 2nd time he did it, i saw him nyonyot puting. alahai kesiannye.. purposely went into the room to have some private time with his puting
   
4. we hide the puting from his view - failed. somehow or rather, either mama or ayah will kesian tengok anak takde puting
5. we let him play, enjoy the tv, and do whatever he wants to do as long as he doesn't ask for puting - failed. whenever we were out of sight, he'll grab the puting
6. we made him tired by playing, do whatever he wants to do so that he could fall asleep easily - failed. in the middle of the nite, he'll ask for puting

we've lost the battles. so tonite, we decided to go into war.

we told him not to take the puting, not to think of the puting. uh.. being a psycho is so tough! we even showed him picture of "mr. os". ** ampunlah.... mintak ampun banyak2. niat kami suci murni ** then he fall asleep. we were glad. 10 minutes after, he woke up and started asking for puting. i put him on bed. he was crying hard. we tried being psycho once again and told him that puting is not good. and we asked him "adam sayang mama tak?" not a nod. "adam sayang ayah tak?" also not a nod. bad sign. "adam sayang sapa?" "puting" adooooohai....

we then drastically decided that if he chose puting, then he has to sleep alone in his room. need not to guess. he chose to be with his puting in his room. so we left him there. we switched off all the lights and we closed our door. but we were actually waiting for him in the hall - ayah and mama to the rescue la kononnya. he didn't cry at first. then after a while, we heard him sobbing - very hard! we rushed in and ayah told him to let go his puting if he wants to sleep with mama and ayah. and he finally said yes.

phew! what a nite. now he's fully awake after the hard times mama and ayah gave him. hahahaha..

i hope, adam will say bye-bye to his little (but many) puting
and i hope maknek will help us out a bit
with extra lil' hope that nenek wont be saying "ha.. bagi puting dia. mana puting dia? dia nak puting lah tu.."

nitey-nite

"super adam to the rescue"

post note: as i was typing this post, adam was on his bed, behind me. when i turned to him, we was with his puting. he quickly put it away and said "takde. takde apa2 pun" and left. alahai.. ciannye anak mama.

aiseymen......

tangan ni gatal

browse internet

jumpa gamba ni

aiseymen

camne nak tido ni...

ngehngehngeh

Flixster - Share Movies

Flixster - Share Movies

Flixster - Share Movies

Flixster - Share Movies

op.... sat-sat.. bunyik pulak hp ni... eh eh.. cam tau je org tengah tengok gamba dia...

Flixster - Share Movies

okie dokie. nitey-nite. lena la mek tidoq malam ni :D

i did it my way!

and now, the end is near
and so i face, the final curtain
my friend, i'll say it clear
i'll state my case, of which i'm certain
i've lived, a life that's full
i've traveled each and every highway
and more, much more than this
i did my way

regrets, i've had a few
but then again, too few to mention
i did, what i had to do
and saw it through without exemption
i planned, each charted course
each careful step along the byway
and more, much more than this
i did i my way

yes! there were times
i'm sure you knew
when i bit off more than i could chew
but through it all when there was doubt
i ate it up and spit it out
i faced it all and i stood tall
and did it my way

i've loved, i've laughed and cried
i've had my fill, my share of losing
and now, as tears subside
i find it all so amusing
to think i did all that
and i may say not in a shy way
"oh no! oh no! not me, i did my way!

for what is a man
what has he got
if not himself, then he has naught
to say the thing he truly feels
andn ot the words of one who kneels
the record shows i took the blows
and DID IT MY WAY!

***

my dearie friends,

i'm truly sorry for some confuse posts i had for the past few days. at first i was in that stage myself, but then some best buddies had made it clear for me. thanks

julie, as far as i'm agreeable to what u've mention, i think it's all depends on one's character themselves. i have a friend, whom has been with me since i was 10, and we had wonderful years growing up together. and indeed, we quarreled, didn't get along in some matters, but she's still by my side when i need her the most. and her mom cooks nice soto :) yes ayu, u know who u are to me :D besides that, i have geena, dee, awa and some others. er... nazim should not fall into any categories ok? ngehngehngeh

we fight, we quarrel, we have crossed into each others' path for some reasons. that's human. that makes a friend, special. **i'm trying hard not to talk craps here, tho my mind has some bad points to note down*** i'm a bull horse. i'm a determined person and stubborn. i know myself. big headed with big dreams. but i'm a bull that dare to face the reality. that will mellow down when the time has come to forgive and forget. that doesn't count any pennies for what she has paid. and will stumble when she falls. i guess only my "friends" will know who i am, how i thought and definitely who am i to them. i'm blessed that in december, i met a friend from my primary school, a friend from my secondary school and also a dearie friend of my itm team. and i'm glad that the bounding are still intact!

i went for a hair cut today. mudahan buang suwei yg ada :P

i wish for a great year ahead
i wish for a better me
i wish for a toyota wish (eh.. boleh gitu che nani?) hahahaha

HAPPY NEW YEAR FRIENDS!

ngok ngek pala kemek

i've expected (again)

couldn't be bother

ego + stupidity = arrogant

lantak sama kamu

tidak kuasa mahu melayan

doakan yg baik2 aja

"a great year ahead"

insya Allah

** thinking again, hati masih sayang. tapi dalam kepala masing2 ada batu, itu pasal la laga2 takde pecah. the best? buat bodo je la.. go with the flow **

*** kak nomi, confius lagi? hahahaha.. ini macam typical lawan surat cinta la. but this one is electronically. canggih siket ler. when two heads collide, satu jadik ngok, satu jadi ngek. dua2 pun pala kemek. hahahaha ***

miss-judge?

i have somehow knew this would happen. dejavu!

she probably knew or probably not. when she does thing, things comes back to me. i'll be asked for million things. "why you let her do that?", "why dont you tell me?". why? why? why? and me? proper judgment will do. never want to interfere. never want to create more mess

she probably knew or probably not. when she's on a hot sit. i'm hot too. as if whenever she does wrong. i'll be the one to be blamed. no fair, not that i want. but i care less. indeed a friend
i'd do more for her

she probably knew or probably not. when she does good thing i'd be proud. i'd bring donuts when she's feeling ain't alright. never i want to judge. nor i want to umpire

i dont come to u for ur big car
- got one myself
i dont come to u for ur fame
- never knew u until u told me
i dont come to u for opportunity
- first move was for a lunch buddy
i dont come to u to call u stupid
- u've always had that in ur mind, even before i came

stupidity for things u already knew. but yet u're doing it again and again. stupidity for whom u already knew. but yet u're telling them more and more. that's u. and i cant change that

but i think i should probably have known. a scorpio and a bull has tendency to fight. a dragon and a horse can get crossed. thats all written. in the fate of life

i wouldn't answer a question that never been asked. why should i counter when the question was not "kenapa sejak aku kawan dengan ko, apa aku buat semua salah?". if that was not the question, i wouldnt be answering "kalo ko rasa kawan dengan aku semua ko buat salah, then jangan kawan dengan aku". logic?

i'm a 4 months baby. i'm due for any mistakes. people look at me for any blunders. have u ever care about it? have u ever consider when u decided to do things. people make noise on you
and i have to take the blame? i stood poised for you. for what i believe, i've seen and i've heard. and that's what my lady is proud me

anyways, the not approved audible "hmmph" was for me to think what's good to say. the best i can do rather that i'd keep quite and u'd go sulking for a late response

misjudge? i dont think. opinion, indeed. when things dont get ur ways. u get crossed, isn't it? then u get upset. then u start to tell things. thats when all things got fired up. come on lah! same goes to me

deep inside me, i was ashamed. for someone like u. saying "aku lagi tau dari mak aku". arrogant to me. but, hey! that's just u. yes u maybe. but... the tone and sound impact completely

sacred as i may be. dedicated as i always be. but if u tend to have "scared" spelled, then nope, nope, sorry. why should i be?

just one thing i'd like u to know, i've enjoyed the ship between us. and the only thing that i only need to know "have u ever thought of me whenever u do things?"

hey my friend, i've tried to help and pull u off the hot sit. as i want u to off my lady's big binocular (that she'll off off my big fat ass too). but it seems that it's not ur call. and that's all urs.

thanking you! and wishing u a great year ahead!!

katamu, kataku

katamu,
ilmumu melebihi orang itu

kataku,
mana rukuk, sujud, pelengkap auratmu?

katamu,
tahumu abadimu nanti

kataku,
aku sendiri tidak pasti

katamu,
sayangmu petah, lincah, hype!

kataku,
pasti! tapi akankah dia akur?

tanyamu,
mengapa seringkali jejambat ini meningkah lakuku?

jawabku,
jika jejambat ini yang merantaimu, leraikan saja. let it go

kerna
aku tidak bisa benar pintamu
aku tidak bisa penuhi anganmu
aku tidak bisa karib hanya di mimpimu
aku tidak bisa mengangguk bila tidak mengiya

kau tahu aku
aku tidak berbisa
bila aku tidak perlukan sengatnya

kau tahu ini untukmu
kau tidak perlukan spice-nya

aku? ya! aku rasa incomplete
tapi biarlah
jika freedom yang lebih kau perlukan

layan seh..

woohooo.. besok keje...

how did i spend my holidays?

day one - hari raya aidiladha. made some lodeh and sent it to mak's. then headed to aunt atheera's in puchong. spent one whole day kat sana macam takde umah sendiri :)

day two - went to tupperware to pick up some stuff. waited for made until he's done with his friday's prayer. then to kenny rogers's for lunch. that nite we brought bapak and mak for some nice dinner in cozy corner, ampang park.

day three - cant remember what we did. i think the whole day spent with downloaded games for myself and downloaded manga for made. and also some nice songs from jiwang.org for my pc in the office. boss takde bolehlah mak bergendang gendut kat opis..

then we got a call from along inviting us for dinner with his mom in law. we went and we stayed on to discuss on our "BURPING" project

day four - we went to pizza hut for lunch then to maxvalu - the new store in ampang, for some groceries. then to manjaku - behind carrefour wangsa maju to buy adam's diapers. it's so cheap over there. huggies costs rm42.90 in maxvalu and only rm33.90 in this store. spend wisely my friends :)

nite, we had our "BURPING" first meeting and brainstorming session. what's "BURPING?" check it out next year....

day five - time spent redecorating my lovely kitchen :) come la visit. sangat shantik tauuu..

day six - ho ho ho.. merry x'mas. buat office works yg dari day one ditangguhkan. muahahaha.. then kemas bilik adam.

and here i am still with the computer before me. updating bits and pieces of what i've done and what i wanna share with you.

anyways, have you checked out my new counting days widget and the music player? the music player is auto play. dont know how to make it played on request. pepandailah korang off kan sendirik ye. and the counting days widget is for you know what la kan? ehem.. ehem.. ehem...

andddddddd...... here's what i've been doing in a couple of hours:



and this



layan kan? hehehehe..

again, the 2 songs that i've grown up with. those times, these are my fav idols. tommy page, of course for his cute face. and nkotb for errr.. their cuteness oso. hehehehe.. my fav was jordan. look at how they dance and ehem.. sing. tommy's song has always been my favourite. the wordings are so right.. dont you think?

dengan itu saya melantik lagu tommy page untuk menjadik theme song untuk blog saya.

sekian terima kasih..

aik.. apesal asik cakap ala2 MD ni? apa yg dah berlaku ni? hmmm...... mesti "BURPING" punya penangan ni ...

rock kapak

yesterday we went to pizza hut wangsa maju for lunch. food sedap -for sure. one additional point for this pizza hut is that, they aired rock kapak songs that both me and made grew up with.

"misteri mimpi syakila", "umpama mimpi dalam mimpi", "rozana" are among others. sangat layan.. macam kembali ke zaman riang ria muda rumaja pulak perasaannya :)

they stopped the songs untuk memberi laluan kepada lagu happy birthday for this one little boy. sangat ceria budak itu. thus i have made an additional note for my next year's birthday wish...

me, myself and i would like to wish for a SURPRISE BIRTHDAY PARTY

muahahahaha...

i have even gave made instructions of what to do and whom to contact. boleh gitu?

so my friends, whom knew and value the friendship with this cute little owner, writer, author, whateva of this blog, u know what to do, right? it's soon dear. u ought to do some preparation dearies.. month of May is just around the calendar. tell me, do you need made's number?

did i sound a little pathetic?

aaaahhh.. tidak ku pedulikkkkkkkkk

hahhahaha..

opocot.. birthday party pulak..

terkejut i
ngehngehngehngeh..

:P

small water and big water

some call it wee-wee. some call it as pee-pee. and even shee-shee. i sometimes call it cecen, or she-sheng or at times, tenching. kurang segan silu sikit, adalah org yang panggil kencheng. commonly known as buang air kecik la. any others or not?

for the other type of "water", some call it yayak. i call it as simple as it is.. berak. hahhaha.. sometimes, when my manja2 mood comes, then it'll sound a little nicer la.. berak ucuk (uh.. what makes the different rite?)

back to what i want to ask you all.. when you do the small thing business, do you all do it as it is no body else's business or do you do it shy-shy one? yup-yup.. i know. what kind of question la this lady bringing out.. this lady got nothing else to ask or what.. let me assure you that this question is made only for the sake of asking ok... nothing personal and i hope i dont offend anyone.

the thing is.. i know some of you mite be shy a bit in the four-walls- little-cubicle where you tend not to let others hear you are shee-shee'ing. rite or not? and you go shee-stop-shee-stop-shee-stop... kan? kan? kan? and some of you can just let it go thinking that no body couldn't be bother about it.. and you go ttttttzzzzzzzzzzzz with a little "ah" when you're done.. betul tak?

hahaha.. sorrylah.. i had this thing on my mind since yesterday. i was in this hotel. and i was really in need for some personal time. when i'm in a very nice hotel or public toilet, i tend to be a little shy in the toilet. shee-shee also shy2. whereas at the same time i could hear my next door neighbour shee-shee like the ultraman firing the raksaksa.. bzzzzzzzzzz.. and the raksaksa dies.. hahaha.. walawei.. she could kill the germs lah, i tell u.. bulleyes punya!

and earlier that day, i was in a public toilet belongs to this govt office. there was a very nice looking lady went into the toilet before me. this lady, who chosen to be in the cubicle next to me went bzzz-silent-bzzz-silent-bzzz-silent-ahhh..

so i was just wondering about you guys la.. how you "perform" eh? hehehehhee

i remember the first time ever that i had to use a toilet without salur getah. it was in glenmarie. i pandang kiri, pandang kanan, thinking.. "macam mana nak basuh ni?" then i turned on this pipe, next to the basin. next thing i knew, habis basah my pants sebab the water shot out from inside the basin itself. at that time, i couldnt be bother pun.. i was only 12, i think.. hehehehe.. basah oso no harm to me :) if it's going to happen to me now, i think i'll sue the inventor. hahahaha

another thing is... what do you do when doing ur "big water" time? i know some will be enjoying reading magazines, comics, newspapers, etc. some will be sms'ing. some will be doing some business proposal. rite? ala.. dont lie la.. i know one.. hahahaha..

when i know i'll be having "hard" time with my "big water" i tend to bring along anything to read. most of the time will be my catalogues la. i dont like sitting there, having some hard time and i cant do much. it's hard being a multi-tasker, isn't it?

hey.. that's just me.. tell me about you la.. apa macam? berani ka?

seorang yang bernama marie-france

she's a teacher with iskl. sangat easy going. sangat.... bengong.. hehehe.. at first i had a little goosy-moosy feeling to start a conversation with her. but i was then couldn't stop talking. one, she asks a lot, she talks a lot. second, she's fun. bottom line, she's totally adorable. main thing about ms. marie-france blais, she has this "all-out" attitude.

u knowlah.. iskl got this theme, that theme, pyjamas la, halloween la, stripe la, polka dot la. and this marie-france, when it comes to a themed day, she'll dress up accordingly and she has never failed to be an eye catcher..

enjoy some of her pics..

theme: rock & roll
"elvis presley"
yang baju hitam skirt hijau tu memang over sket :P

theme: halloween day
"hantu"
yang berkelip2 & penuh lampu tajaan tnb tu adalah kelas dia. best kan?

"hantu" iskl

"hantu" dah insaf

saya anak malaysia

pada satu ketika, perarakan bagi saya adalah perarakan hari merdeka yang diadakan setiap tahun pada tarikh 31 ogos. kalau adapun perarakan lain, ia mencampur adukkan pelbagai bunga yang ada di alam flora.

perarakan yang saya tahu dulu, mengumpulkan semua rakyat MALAYSIA. baik dia beragama islam, hindu, kristian, buddha, tidak beragama dan sebagainya. di dalam perarakan itu juga terdapat bangsa yang terdiri daripada bangsa iban, melanau, kadazan, india, cina, melayu dan lain-lain lagi. di dalam perarakan itu juga pelbagai persatuan bersatu padu. baik umno, mic, mca, pas, semangat 46, perikatan, dan lain-lain.

tetapi setelah 29 tahun, saya diperkenalkan dengan perarakan yang bagi saya bak mengikut fesyen terkini dan peredaran zaman kononnya. mengikut negara barat yang seringkali mengadakan perarakan kerana terdapat ketidakpuashatian. perlukah adanya perarakan ini? perlu sangatkah kita up-to-date mengikuti budaya yang satu ini?

lepas ini apa? akan ada yang mengamuk membawa pistol, membunuh semua orang? akan ada yang mencantas kepala orang sesuka hati mak pak dia? akan ada yang meludah ke muka kawan-kawan kerana tidak berpuas hati?

tidak banggakah kita dengan nenek moyang kita? nama-nama nenek moyang ini terpahat dengan bangganya di bangunan-bangunan. di jalan-jalan raya. di buku-buku sejarah. tidak ada sekelumit rasa gah kah mereka ini melihat nama nenek moyang mereka ini? nenek moyang yang dikatakan (ini interpretation saya ye...) menyusahkan mereka sudahnya? pandangan pertama saya, tidak suka, tidak puas hati, pulanglah... jangan buat kacau. awak rasa awak ada negara awak sendiri, then pack your stuff and leave. tapi saya masih ada rasa perasaan muhibah di hati. saya masih ada perasaan kasih pada sahabat-sahabat saya yang berlainan bangsa dan agama ini. saya masih mahukan mereka di sini

duduklah di sini. di malaysia ini tidak seperti negara lain. tidak seperti negara yang masih mengamalkan kasta. tidak seperti negara yang tidak mampu berbahasa inggeris kecuali bahasa mereka sendiri. tidak seperti negara yang ketuanya hanya sibukkan negara orang lain dan tidak peduli apa yang berlaku di negaranya sendiri.

kita di sini aman. bahagia. rukun dan damai. apa lagi yang kurangnya? fahaman politik, tidak puas hati tentang bangsa, agama hanya perkara jijik. saya islam. saya diajar agar menghormati agama lain. saya diajar agar menghormati pegangan orang lain. saya tidak mengutuk agama itu. saya tidak mengutuk kaum itu. walaupun ya ada, sekali-sekala saya mengutuk juga.. siapalah saya kan.. hanya manusia jua. tapi itu bukan secara global. itu secara persendirian. kerana personaliti seseorang itu sendiri. kerana stupidity seseorang. dan seseorang itu, pada saya, tidak mampu mewakilkan seluruh bangsa, agama mahupun kaumnya.

saya berkata sebagai rakyat malaysia. rakyat malaysia yang adakalanya tidak setuju dengan dasar kerajaan. rakyat malaysia yang hanya bercakap sendirian dan berbincang bersama teman lain. dan sebagai rakyat malaysia yang ingin berterusan mengecapi keamanan dan kedamaian yang telah dirasai selama 29 tahun ini.

mana-mana kita pergi, akan adanya ketidakadilan. kemana pun kaki melangkah akan adanya rasa tidak suka dan "this is not fair". tapi hidupla kita seadanya. pegangan saya, "we cant change the surrounding or environment, but we still can adapt into it".

hujan emas di negara org, hujan batu di negara sendiri

tidak ada bangsa lain, saya hanya kenal ali, abu, dan minah. dengan ada bangsa lain, saya kenal ah seng, john, siva, lengau dan sebagainya. thesaurus saya bertambah. contact list saya berganda. saya rasa bangga. tidakkah anda?

i miss u, dearly

pagi tadi mokteh talipon. i didnt answer. i didnt notice it actually. tapi rasanya dah tau kenapa dia kol... today is 22 november 2007. time flies...

i wish i could turn back the time. i wish i could still be a person that is so close to my heart. a person who has important role in me. a person when she was still alive, she was being so strong for everybody.. yet, i've made her cried once. that was when i talked about pokde. she has never lose her faith in pokde. pokde was an addict. masuk kuar serenti, confirm. and she has never failed to visit pokde whenever he was behind bars. we have never been there. neither on ourselves nor with her. she has always been there alone. pagi raya, org tak siap berbaju raya, dia dah called. "bila nak gi kubur ni?" lambat means, she'll go by taxi. she's not willing to wait. she's so independent. after that, she'll make her way to visit pokde. terkulat-kulat la kami ni tunggu dia balik. she never bothers. alhamdulillah, all her prayers were answered. pokde kembali ke pangkal jalan. we could never see pokde lepa solat. not even once.

air tangan dia is the best. the best ever. you could ask her to cook anything.. it will never match anybody. jangan "tersebut", confirm dia pun "terbuat". she will buy the ingredients herself. she'll go to pasar pudu. the best place for her shopping. or she'll ask us to buy it for her if we're happen to visit her. she has never failed to say "yes" to any orders. last minute orders pun gerenti siap. turun naik tangga flat 4 tingkat has never been her burden. she wouldnt mind turun naik tangga. lupa beli bawang, turun balik. naik balik. lupa beli garam, turun lagi. then naik lagi. she has never complaint. but we know.. we know she was in pain. the pain that she doesnt want anybody to know. the pain that only once in a blue moon, she'll ask for help.

she's so used living alone. she bought the house for dear paklong. but paklong has his own plans. kalo datang visit, kadang2, dia tertido sambil tunggu anak cucu datang. cian dia.. but she has never complaint. malam pun dia tak kisah. petang pun tak pe.. kalo tertido, dia bangun. kalo dia solat, kita la tunggu... tapi skang umah tu jadik macam gajah putih. hanya ada pokde sorang. anak cucu tak lagi datang. rumah tu dah tak meriah. dah takde makanan best2. ada pun habuk. ada pun kenangan. ada pun barang2 dia yg no body dares to touch. to much emotions..

she's always there for me.. i was brought up in kg pandan, that was my kampung. my favourite place to lepak. why? because she's there. she'll always back me up. no matter what happened. cite i masak nasik lupa letak air jadik riuh sekampung. wan milo, wan teksi, nenek kak jannah, pakat gelak ramai2. anak dara nak belajar masak. gitulah... again, she'll keep on teaching. turunkan ilmu di dada.. anak cucu je tak pandai grab opportunity..

now she's no longer here. no longer to be my shoulder to cry on.

i always let her play with her thoughts.... let her be.. and now i miss her thoughts. her words, her hugs & kisses. i miss her smell and i miss her being my side. i miss her a lot. all i have are memories. all i got are just flashbacks. i wish she's beside me. i wish she'll always there for me. i wish she's back......

i wish she's never been there... been there away from me... been there in her lovely house..

ya Allah.. ampunkanlah hambaMu ini. hambaMu yg amat merindui uwannya. hambaMu yg seringkali leka dengan kurniaanMu. hambaMu yg kerdil dan seringkali alpa dan lupa. ampunkanlah hambaMu ini.. aku tau... uwan aman di sana. uwan damai di sana. uwan tenang di sana. insya Allah...

alfatihah


"uwan.... kita rindu uwan tau.. kita sayang uwan tau"

"ye.. aku tau"

it seems like yesterday....

sayang bini?

a) bawak gi habib jewels, poh kong dan kedai yg sewaktu dengannya

b) bagi rm lima puluh ribu sahaja setiap bulan

c) belikan kereta berjenama mewah dan tukar setiap 6 bulan

d) semua di atas

tet! too bad. pepatah melayu berkata, sayang bini tinggal-tinggalkan. :P

once again i thank Allah swt for the opportunity of having a circle of friends that has been very supportive and concern about me. i can never thank each of you. hopefully cukuplah sekadar i wish all of you well too and hopefully to be by your side whenever you need me around.

this "opportunity" of being left behind, or should i say "a single handed mother" temporarily has a bit taught me to be taugh & strong for you loved one. i'm known as kememe and dependent to my other half. so when he has to be away (like this), i learn to do things on my own. dalam erti kata sebenarnya, aku ni pemaleh... dah kena tinggal sendiri ni, kena buatlah.. kalo tak, nak harap sapa lagi nak buatnye... hahahahah

if made used to wash adam's poo-poo, since he's away, i have to do it. adam dahlah berak satu malam berkali2. apa la dia makan kat umah mak nek tu..

if made used to make adam's food & susu, since he's away, the role is mine. adam sangat picky ok. but lucky he's ok with pizza, biskut & spateti. pick up the phone and order.. wow.. menakjubkan

if made is the one who throw the rubbish every morning, since he's away, that's my job. tapi pagi tadi terlupa. hahahhaha

but above all, i miss the moment when we complete the task together :(

if i were to wash the clothes & start the washing machine, he will hang all the clothes. or sometimes, we will do it together

if i were to angkat the kain, he will angkat the bakul

if i were to lipat the kain, he will lipat yang cepentot

if i were to finish lipat-ing the kain, he will kemas all of it and ruin my colour coding of my tudung. :P

thanks for the advance of technology. we feel so close despite being physically apart. made has set up googletalk so that we could have a mean of communication. smses and phone calls are toooooo expensive for a middle-of-the-month-trip.

adam was so good yesterday. well.. tho ada sikit naughty, rasa tak sampai hati nak marah. buatnya dia nangis mintak ayah, satu keje pulak la nak kena beli tiket gi thailand.. ngehngehngeh..

miss u honey.. eh.. ni bukan honey.. ni panthy. ngehngehngeh...

saja nak tanya.. korang baca made tu as "made in china" ke made as my pronunciation? it's ma-de tau.. made in kelantan. hehehe

marriage proposal - another dimension

i thank all for your comments on my "marriage proposal" post. so glad that i know i have the bestest friends all around me. however, i'm so sorry to admit that the post on "marriage proposal" was not actually on a friend getting married, left me behind, or any sort of that matter. it was actually about me & my good-friend-for-life, made.

he is indeed the bestest, closest friend i've ever had. when you all have some little dirty secret with your loved one, i dont have any with my other half. i told him everything... uh.. almost everything la. :P

basically, the post was meant for made.

the marriage proposal was actually an offer of transfer that made received few weeks ago. i've been asking him to seek for any opportunities to work in KL. but he was so happy with his current position & work, which is 30km away from the house and cost him an hour or so to get to his office. so when he got this offer, i was so delighted. little that i know, he'd be traveling - a lot...

this transfer means he has to travel to the other joint venture company for the systems set up and other IT thingy. it's not soooo far, indeed. only in thailand. yes thailand. when u'd be thinking, oohh.. she must be worrying about the "chickens"; actually i'm more concern of his safety. insya Allah, all will be fine. touchwood!

made was so excited about this transfer. he showed me his chat history with his new colleague and we had quite an exciting conversation about it until suddenly he stopped talking about it. the next thing i knew, he came back from a barber shop and told me "yang, i nak gi amik gambar for my passport. i ingat nak gi putrajaya besok". i went sulking. why? because i was not informed about the transfer progress. then suddenly, passport. apa nih?

so i built up the wall. sulking for few days. until he wrote me an email explaining the whole thing to me. things settled, he went to the immigration office in wangsa maju. got the passport in an hour. transfer arrangement still in process. and now at the time of typing, he's on his way to KLIA. by the time you're reading, he's already in thailand. uh.. time flies!

this morning when made woke me up for subuh prayer, he has already bathed. i was crossed. we normally bathe together ok.. we prayed together but then i went sulking. why la... why he has to leave me behind. one, the financial planning. then the passport making. and now?

both of us cried. i cried not for i mad with him. that was just a minor reason. i cried because i know i'm going to miss him. i'm going to miss him a lot. the last time he was assigned for a week outstation trip, it was only to bakun. that time, i was still living with my parents and adam was still in my womb. thereafter, it was only local day trips. now that he had to go for a week in thailand, i felt a little emptiness. i nak gaduh ngan sapa? i nak mengadu kat sapa? i nak bermanja ngan sapa? malam nanti i nak tido ngan sapa? huhuhu...

adam was crying yesterday when he saw made packing his things. i pun sayu.. ntahla.. i hope everything will be just fine. ajal, maut, rezeki, jodoh, semuanya kurniaan Allah. angkasawan gi space pun alhamdulillah selamat, yg langgar pillar pulak yg meninggal. kan?

so my dearie friends... please bear with me for a couple of days ye.. :)

ayah, mama, eh... mana adam? rambut je?









ayah, mama, eh eh.. tak muat pulak adam..







ha... adam, mama, ehhhh.. mana ayah ni? maing-maing demo nihhh..

my 2007 raya

i had sort of pathetic raya this time around. read on..

i planned to start cleaning up the house the day before. sekolah cuti. however, i was totally in sleeping mode. i had to force & drag my beautiful-like-the-stars-up-in-the-sky feet & hands to start the cleaning at nite and continue a bit more on the first day of hari raya. too bz with the cleaning that i have totally forgotten to iron made's baju melayu. only realize about it when he woke up and ready for raya's prayer. (ngok ngek laki aku.. dah nak solat raya baru nak bangun tido :P). we all got ready by 10. and made our move to my kampung. ehem.. ehem.. 5 minutes away, no tolls, no traffic, no highways... hahahaha..

main thing in mind, of course, food. i tried not to eat too much but the food were sooooo tempting and has this "marilah-makan-saya-yang-sangat-sedap-ini" look. delicious ok. well, eventhough it is not, somehow, it IS delicious if it was our mom's cooking. aint me rite? mak made some pulut kuning and rendang daging. i'm not fond of rendang ayam. sorry. add in some serunding giler best dari kak yah kelantan. perghh.. 2 words to describe: sangat sedap. sangat leleh air lioq

then salam2 raya. bapak didnt want to put on his baju raya because along took his kain raya back to ipoh. and another thing, his baju raya is actually a baju raya cina which he bought in taiwan recently :P then mak uteh arrived with her "ku lihat hijau" team. sembang2, salam2 we made our move to tanjung malim.

who's in tanjung malim? my darling uwan, of course. i was so agitated at first because some parties were delaying the trip. somehow, hati sangat sayu upon arriving uwan's lovely house. the same old feeling whenever i visit her lovely house. the moment i stepped out of the car, the tears would accompany. nevertheless, i enjoyed this opportunity. the closest moment to her, the closest i could be by her side.

we then visited uwan cik & uwan usu and soon made our way back to kl during the downpour.

the very next day, when it's only 7:30am and our dearly back door neighbour has already started their karaoke session. hampehh.... we then lead our way to nurul's place, then mak's - to get our stomach filled up. heheheh.. and to start our pathetic raya, we made our way to eye on malaysia. sangat beraya di perantauan kan? luckily there was a long queue and drizzles. we moved to our 2nd destination, ikea. amazingly, the store was sooooooo full of people. even the front parking entrance was closed due to overwhelming visitors. we parked our car in the curve instead. for record, only 1/2 hour spent in ikea. first time ever. hahahahaha

then only we went for our raya to kak yam's, zahar's, kak noor's & aiza's place. kembali ke sarang at about 11.30 pm.

3rd raya dah tak tau buat apa. tunggu ajelah barang ikea sampai. kemas rumah ala kadar, and get ready for work the next day. raya ke 4 dah keje ok.. made still on leave. cian i :(

that was my 2007's raya. sangat best. kan? additional note, ma (made's mom) is now in town. so tak balik raya kat kelantan pun tak pe, mak mentua mari turut.. hahahahaha.. sangat durjana punya menantu. muahahahah

selamat hari raya all :)

thank you!!

to those whom have spared some time to come over for our open house. let see.. can i remember all?

* makcik leha & abg basri
* liya & husband
* abg li, kak chum, fatimah, dijah & imran
* abg cha, kak za & iman
* kak ti, abg nan & hannah
* taj
* julie & ajim
* nurul, hubby & their little girl
* tok ma
* abg chik, kak chik & nina
* ikmal, wife & kids
* kak shida, abg nasri, danish & diyanah
* pak syed & sham
* kak salama & hubby
* marie-france & kamal
* linda, hubby & 2 kids
* kak nik, hubby & 4 kids
* pak cik yatim, cik ana, nisa & leyla
* makcik lat, makcik yang, kak liza & 2 kids
* makcik pah, abg man & kak wati
* kak nik & kids
* kak mala, hubby & kids
* kak tuty, abg bodeng & little boy
* mak uteh, pak uteh, mira, syafiq, akim & intan
* pak uda
* pak long, mak long, nole, lia & aziq
* kor, suzi & kids
* kubba, kak lenny & kids
* korup, yati & kid
* putong, anis, & kids
* jaki & wife
* kak ziana, nurul & nasrul
* izmir & nani
* en. mat poin
* cik tinah, cik man & lokman
* kak zaini & family
* noor, hubby & kid
* aunty norlia, uncle khalid, nek & nana
* aunty yati, uncle khairul, atheerah & aleen
* uncle meo, aunty e, yani & kimi
* riko & sofea
* mastika, dania & 2 friends
* ija, hubby & kid
* fariz
* ana & hubby
* izan, hubby & kid
* kak azila, mother & kid
* kak mah, hubby & kid
* kak akmar & ita
* rohaiza & kids
* inaz
* ayu, makcik, shafik & shakir
* syahman, riza & yana
* mak nek, intan & alien
* eebal & daiya
* arman & yati
* fendi & nisya
* fik & bob
* mak & bapak

i hope everyone has been counted in. i wanna thank all of you for making our days (read: to finish all our ordered dishes. hahahaha)

special thanks goes to che nani, along & ammar, for making this open house merrier & i couldn't do it without your help. thank you very much.

thanks to sherry, amirul, iskandar & zulkarnain for preparing the extra dish for me. thanks dearie.

post open house note:
at first we were contemplating in hosting the open house. made has some urgent thing to do. going for outstation trip some more. furthermore our front house neighbour has put up a canopy infront of our house for their daughter's engagement ceremony. but then, thought after thought, we decided to go along with it. and i'm so thankful for it. food were great. our must-have-dish, satay; roti jala & meehoon sup thailand from kak ani was so special. everybody was asking for the recipe. i have to get one myself. everything went smoothly.

alhamdulillah :)

i hope everybody was enjoying themselves & had a good time.

thank you again.

a marriage proposal

i have a good friend. a good friend of my life. recently a guy of her dream asked her hand for marriage. she was so delighted. and so was i. of course i was..

however, this proposal has gone a bit out of the line. it has given me some hard times. not that i'm not happy with the good news, but.. i don’t know.. some bad feelings had me

ok ok.. maybe i'm exaggerating. but that's how i feel. ok? well.. for now

first, she told me about the good news. i was so glad. i was so happy indeed. at last a friend will be enjoying the life that she has long for. yippiee.. i’m the happiest person - as i was also the culprit. i’ve been asking her about it until she got fed up. and now when the time has come, why shouldn’t me be happy. isn’t it?

second the not so good news: she’ll be travelling a lot since the hubby is an expatriate and working in joint-venture projects. but one thing good, i’d be getting some nice fridge magnets. hurrah..

third and the most disturbing news: she has started to ignore me. how could she do this to me.. the first thing was, she did not considered me in her financial planning. well.. not that i wanna be part of her life 24/7, but i thought being a good friend, is being together and always here, there and everywhere and indeed, being part of someone’s life. now, i’ve been having this feeling: i’ll be a losing a friend. and i’m not needed anymore. somehow, i feel, i’ve been replaced.

where was i when she needed me before she had this guy of her dream?
i was next to her.

where was i when her father died last year?
right by her side.

who’s shoulder was it for her to cry on?
mine. absolutely mine.

why is she ignoring me?
well I don’t know. i don’t seem to find the reason. i can’t find what i’ve done that she had to place me as a non-executive person in her life.

i was, am and still crossed. totally crossed when one fine day, she came to see me, just to say “hi.. i’m getting my wedding card done. chio”. and i was there.. “you’re what? you’re not calling me in?” and she said, “oh.. i think i’ll just get over it myself. you could join me later”. and i was thinking, which later part that she wants me in? on the bed? oh no! not on the bed part definitely. i wouldn’t want to get a threesome. it’s so troublesome!

being part of someone’s life made me feel so important. being left out in some major transitions made me feel bad. really bad. don’t you, honey?

notakaki: disguise is good, at times. :)

raya sakan korang ye

11 October 2007

7:01am - ready masuk keta ngan adam
7:02am - akut kol
7:07am - sampai umah bapak. hantar adam. hugs & kisses
7:11am - made our ways
7:17 am - arrived ISKL
7:24am - punch in

look at the time!!!!!!!! crazy!

yipiyayo!

ramadhan datang, ramadhan pergi

but my darling ramadhan stays - patiently with me.. hehehee

esok lusa tulat dah nak raya. sangat cepat! maybe i am/was so bz with my works. ye kawan2.. mek anne sangat bz. sangat ampun dan mahap ye.. kad raya satu pun tak balas, satu pun tak hantar. balas kad raya & sms kawan2 pun ala kadar je. this is not anne ok.. so so so not me. but my works are up to my neck. dia bagi ruang sikit je nak bernapas.

ramadhan, as in bulan puasa, had taught me a lot this time around. and i believe at the age of becoming 30, i've changed a bit. last time, if my boss scolded me, i'd turn in sour. so hard headed that i'd switch my radio volume from low to high. ye.. saya sangat keras kepala. ada batu dalam ini kepala. but now, i see me changed. i got another (according to sumber2 yg boleh dipercayai) big headed & high ego boss, but i seem to blend and give in a lot. not like last time, that i tried to actually start a battle. i'm now a good samaritan. hahahah

but in any aspects, i could never - read my lips - NEVER give ways to queue jumper and those who wanted to get in line without giving signals. i'm totally against these groups of people. and i tell u... my middle finger will just pointed straight up to them. sorry but i feel really irritated with these kind of people. mau cuba? marilah... :P

in the month of ramadhan, when i know everybody is fasting, still not everybody is really acknowledge kemuliaan of ramadhan. like me, being so "NO TO IDIOT WITH NO SIGNALS & QUEUE JUMPERS", i'm soooooooo not into menghayati ramadhan sepenuhnya. of course, my puasa is not penuh. and my terawikh was only done during the first part of ramadhan, before i got my menses. a really bad record. tunggulah lepas raya. sure nyesal tak sudahhhhh..

but i managed to keep my anger low. yipieeee.. good thing for me. my good point! dear malaikat on my right shoulder, please rite it down.. i managed lots of them ha.... :)

i've been cooking a lot during this ramadhan. macam2 lauk i cuba. yg tak penah org buat pun i buat. masak lemak putih letak bendi. boleh? sengal je tengok lauk tu... tapi habis ok.

all and all, i rasa bersyukur ke hadrat Ilahi kerana mengurniakan kesihatan yg baik untuk i di bulan ramadhan ini. alhamdulillah. i dapat jalani ibadah rukun islam ni dengan sebaik mungkin.

and for all my beloved friends, due to the probationary period that has ruled my hari raya celebration this year, i'm gladly inviting all of you to come over and celebrate this raya - anne's style. hahahaha.. anne style kejadahnya... makan kuih kering dengan air sirap da la.. hahahaha

yes.. honestly, i dont have any extra leaves. i'm still under probationary period and not allowed to take any personal leaves. thankfully the school is closed on friday & monday. bolehlah cuti lama sikit.. (deepavali cuti sampai seminggu tuuuu.. kejadahnya aku nak makan maruku hari2...). i'll be back to work on tuesday. so sapa2 yg menyudi2 tu, marilah datang ke rumah ku yg serba indah ini ye.. :)

oooppsss.. made me thought of makcik kas who is on leave for a month.. habislah i kena kemas umah sensorang friday niiiiii...... sengalnyeeeeeeee

till then all,

selamat hari raya aidilfitri
maaf zahir dan batin
0-0 ye
take care
have a safe journey to your hometown
(mine is only 5 minutes away - no tolls, no hiways :P)

model raya tahun ni. klassssss gitu

notakaki: lupa nak update - i dah boleh muat M gitu.. 5 kg kurang ok.... hahahaha