warkah untuk uwan

assalamualaikum..

uwan buat apa tu? kita ada kat umah. adam tido. kita tunggu kawan kita datang. uwan sihat? kita sefemly sihat. mak bapak pun ok. alin, along, che nani pun sihat. along a'ah.. makin sihat. hehehe..

kita windu uwan. lately ni asik teringat kat uwan. lately tu? lately tu kebelakangan ni. lupa pulak uwan tak tau cakap omputih. sorii... kita asik mimpi uwan. asik teringatkan uwan je. kita asik tengok gambar uwan. kalo tak tengok pun, kita asik mengelamun ingatkan uwan. tulah.. lama sangat tak jumpa uwan. dah 2 tahun eh. lama dah rasanya tak cium uwan. sembang2 ngan uwan. cite pasal org kampung yg kita tak kenal tapi kita buat2 kenal. yelah.. nanti cian uwan. cite2 tapi kita sume tak kenal. hehehe

baru2 ni anak makcik kiah tu kawin. uwan ingat uci? hensem uwan. kita jumpa jugaklah kak ram dengan mak kak nora tu. apa ntah nama dia. sihat lagi makcik tu. kita dah cakap uwan ke? uncle mok dah tak de. dah lama jugaklah. meninggal kat spital. sakit jantung. bapak pun tak sempat tengok sebab time tu bapak on the way balik dari penang ngan alin. pokde talipon bapak. tapi peh tu bapak pegi jugaklah ziarah. skang ni, pokde je lah jadik tukang bagitau apa2 jadik kat kg pandan. tapi kekadang pokde terlupa jugak. org sibuklah katakan..

amirul skang ada kat segamat. amik lesen. ntah bila nak khatamnya. boleh suh dia jadi drebar umi dia. mesti mokteh asik berderau je naik ngan amirul tu. sambil2 tu dia tolong org jahit baju org kawin. dah memang minat dia la tu. cucu uwan kan.. amira & yan satu sekolah. kat kajang nu. alhamdulillah. menjadik anak mokteh. syafiq asik nak berjalan mokteh kata. tak leh tengok ayah duk senang. intan asik dengan abg aqim dia.

nole, kita tak taulah uwan. kita tak amik tau pasal dia. sorilah uwan ye. pak long sekeluarga pun cam dingin je ngan kami. biarlah dia. tak taulah uwan. uwan pun tau pangai anak2 uwan. kita ni asik jadik biro pengaduan je. hehehe.. gelang jade uwan, mak long amik. tudung yg kita belikan kat uwan, dia bagi kat mokteh acum. kita amik baju2 yg uwan selalu pakai gi marhaban. kita amik gambar uwan kat langkawi. sayangnya gambar uwan tu ngan org lain. bukan ngan kita. peh tu kita amik gambar alin masa kecik2. ala2 tayar machelin. patutlah nama dia alin kan?

mak dah keje penang. bapak duk sini. dia tanak ikut. nanti dia tak tau nak buat apa kat penang. lagipun umah mak kena naik tangga. mana bapak larat. bapak pun asik balik korea. hehehe. dialah cakap. balik kg. peh tu ikut jomheboh. rezeki dia la kan uwan. asik berjalan pulak sekarang ni.

alin sambung belajar kat shah alam. amik marketing. kita ni bila nak sambung belajar balik. mmm... along dah kawin. tengah tunggu baby. tak lama lagi adam ada sepupu la. uwan tak sempat tengok along kawin eh. along kawin ngan che nani la. makin gemuk dia uwan. makan sedap. along kawin nek mah sume datang. derang wat marhaban. tapi kitaorg sume tak leh duk dalam umah. sume keluar. wan chik pun tak sanggup. sume terbayang uwan. macam terngiang2 je sora uwan sama nek mah. nanti baby along, insya Allah, panggil nek mah lagi. tak taulah kali ni kami sanggup ke tak duk dalam umah.

adam dah nak masuk 2 tahun bulan 6 ni. dah keletah dah. macam2 perangai. minggu depan kita setat keje, kita hantar dia balik kat babysitter. ntahlah uwan. tak suka pun kita terpaksa. saba jelah. kalo boleh kita nak jadik cam uwan. apa org cakap uwan tak amik peduli. apa uwan nak buat, uwan buat je. tapi kekadang kita tak ada kekuatan. ntahlah uwan.

apa lagi nak cite ngan uwan eh.. aaaa... kita rasa rugi pulak tak amik ilmu2 kraf tangan ngan uwan. ni nak wat riben pun tak reti. kita ikat je peh tu lurutkan. jadiklah dia berpintal2. masak pun lebih kurang. kuih2 memang fel la uwan. tak reti langsung. ni kita tengah belajar balik. tapi resepi ikut internet. pepaham je la uwan. jadik tak jadik je lah.

umah pandan tu kita pegi sekali je. tak sanggup la uwan. sayu hati. umah kg pandan tak tau cite. nantilah. kalau ada rezeki lebih kita nak kasik pokde repair umah tu. skang pun, tiap2 bulan kita kasik pokde duit sikit. cam kita bagi uwan.

bulan depan besday kita. dah 2 tahun tak leh mintak masakan feveret kat uwan. kalo tak sure roti jalan & pulut kuning depan mata. paling koman pun apam cinonet sure ada punya.

semalam kawan made bagi catalog zhulian. kita belek2 peh tu nampak satu kerongsang yg uwan beli nak kasik kita. kita terus tutup buku tu, kita tido. kerongsang tu ada kat kita. mokteh dah bagi. tapi kita pakai kadang2 sebab kita sayang. takut hilang ke. takut salah letak ke.

oklah uwan. kawan kita dah nak datang dah. nanti kita tak leh concentrate. nanti kita tulis lagi ye uwan. uwan jaga diri baik2. jangan nakal2.

tata uwan. jap eh.. nak bayangkan salam & cium pipi uwan banyak2 kali. mmmm.. rindunya...

~cucu uwan~

~ alhamdulillah ~

syukur kepada Yg Maha Esa untuk rezeki yg dilimpahkan. ku tadahkan tangan seraya mengucapkan syukur ke atas rezeki ini. sesungguhnya aku hanya hambaMu yg kerdil dan hanya mampu berdoa agar rezeki ke atasku & keluargaku dirahmati olehMu sentiasa. amin..



(errrr.. gambar tak de kaitan dengan lagu ye..)

Dian Sastro:
disaat waktu berhenti...kosong
dimensi membutakan mata,memekakkan telinga
lalu diri menjadi hampa
saat paradigma dunia tak lagi digunakan untuk menerka*
sadarku akan hadirmu,mematahkan sendi2 yang biasanya tegak berdiri

Yassin:
ult li albi bissaraha (I'm opening up my heart with honesty)
hayya nab'idil karaha (Let's avoid the hated and hatred)
syakkireena a' kulli ni'ma (Let's remain thankful with what we have)
ba' ideena anil fattana (Let's avoid all lies and sins)

Malique:
merenungi luar jendela,mengagumi kebesaran yang Maha Esa
ku menilai kehidupan dari sudut berbeza
tak memadai hanya kecapi rasa selesa
maukan harta yang mampu beli 1 semesta
berpesta ke pagi botol bergelimpangan
kekasih muda bukan takat berpegang tangan
harta dan jamuan nafsu tidak berkekalan
bila menjelang tua bukan itu jadi bekalan
dan jangan puisi ini disalah tafsir pula
bukan berkhutbah cuma betuli diri jua
ingin hidup sempurna aset nilai berjuta,
saling tukar wanita,senyum dan mati tua
bakat dikurnia jangan disalah guna
jangan kufur nikmat yang diberi percuma
guna kelebihan untuk hikmah bersama
jagalah nama hidup penuh pementasan dan drama
ada berisi ada yang kurus,ada melencong ada yang lurus bukan semuanya tulus
ada sempuna ada kurang upaya ada yang jadi buta hanya bila sudah kaya
sebesar rumah bermula dengan sekecil bata,boleh hilang dalam sekelip mata
ucaplah alhamdulillah bukannya sukar, kerna semua nak kaya atau besar
tetap Allahuakbar!!!

Joe Flizzow:
jadikanlah ku tentera Fisabilillah yang tertera di kalimah harap memanduilah
entah apabila persimpangan tiba,hidup penuh rintangan harus kuhadapinya
harapku tidak terlupa diri bila gembira,dan cuma mula mencari kau disaat hiba
ku cuma manusia penuh dengan kesilapan tapi bisa membezakan cahaya dan kegelapan
tabah bila dihalangan duri onak dan cobaan
teguh bila dicobakan keruh kuasa dan perempuan
sentiasa legar diminda,dikejar dan dipinta dari zaman bermula hingga ke akhirnya
ku mengerti siapa ku tanpamu disisi dan apa guna posesi juga posisi
sementara ini cuma hanya puisi,nukilan tulisan dan bisikan isi hati
mencari keterangan,menjiwai peranan menepati pesanan janji juga saranan
alhamdulillah atas kurniaan rezeki,moga tidak terleka dalam perjalanan ini

Ahli Fiqir:
aku yang memandang di dalam lubuk hati,mencari-cari zat rahsia yang katanya tersembunyi
aku yang melihat alam meliputi wujud menyertai lalu ku pindahkan alam ke dalam mata hati
aku hakiki,aku mengerti segala yang terjadi di langit dan di bumi
gunanya tiada fantasi, pelik dan benar,qada' dan qadar kau berilah ku kekuatan
agar dapat ku hindarkan segala kesesatan
usah kau biar nafsuku terliur dari pandangan majazi ini,
aku yang hodoh lagi hina amat benar merindui
moga cahaya lailatul tak membutakan mataku,semoga segala puji tak ku meninggi diri
moga segala janji dapat juga ku penuhi,moga dapatku hadapi tikaman dari belakang
lidah setajam pisau, ku tidak akan risau dengan cabaran sepanjang perjalanan
ku pasrah ku akur 7,8,6 Alhamdulillah Syukur...

Dian Sastro:
sujudku pun takkan memuaskan inginku
'tuk hanturkan* sembah sedalam kalbu
adapun kusembahkan syukur padamu ya Allah
untuk nama,harta dan keluarga yang mencinta
dan perjalanan yang sejauh ini tertempa
alhamdulillah pilihan dan kesempatan
yang membuat hamba mengerti lebih baik makna diri
semua lebih berarti akan mudah dihayati
Alhamdulillah,Alhamdulillah,Alhamdulillah....

ketakau ketaku.. ala2 serupa kan?

i penah pegi langkawi sekali je. lama dahlah.. time kecik dulu. ngan bapak, ngan mak, ngan abg mat - my cousin, ngan joben, ngan chengkut. that time uwan endon jagakan umah. pegi saja nak jalan2. langkawi, that time tak de secantik skang ni. burung helang besar pun tak de lagi.

adalah satu ketika tu. bapak gi beli rokok kat kedai. about a while, dia pun datang balik kat keta. excitedlah kami dalam keta. yey! nak gi ronda2 lagi. sekali tengok bapak naik keta sebelah. eh? nape bapak gi keta org sebelah. kami bertiga ni melekat kat cemin tengok bapak naik keta org sebelah. peh tu bapak keluar. gelak sorang2. peh tu dia tinjau2 nampakla muka kami kat cemin keta sebelah. dia tak sudah gelak lagi bila masuk dalam keta kami.

sekali sudah salah keta da.... kunci keta sewa kat langkawi sume standard time tu. yelah. dah nama pun kat pulau. sapa jugaklah nak curi keta derang. keta pun sume ala2 standard je. nissan kaler hitam.

nak dijadikkan cerita jugak... last sunday i gi TC permata beli barang dapur. peh tu carik2 deodorant ngan baby oil tu tak de. so i cakap ngan che made i nak gi kedai runcit kat umah tu. so i drove to the shops. i gi le kedai apa ntah nama dia tu. deodorant ada. baby oil tak de. then i singgah 7-11 sat. sempat jugaklah lambai2 ala2 model baju kebaya 70an kat adam & che made dalam keta. i beli la slurpee size kecik satu. nak lepaskan hajat la konon. dah bayar bagai, i gi pulak kedai mamak sebelah tu. ada pun baby oil. dah beli, letak la dalam plastik. peh tu i pun jalan. sampailah kat keta. peh tu i pun bukak. mm.. apesal cam lain je eh? peh tu i pandanglah driver seat? "salah keta ni" ujar si pemandu.

berdekah2 i gelak sampailah kat keta i yg sebenarnya. hampeh sungguhlah.. macam mana boleh salah keta ni. nasib baik bukak pintu belakang sebab nak letak barang. kalo terus2 bukak driver seat peh tu terus duduk harus jugaklah i duduk atas brader tu.. sure dable malu punya.. aduhhhh....

akademi fantasia

lately, i've been watching a lot of astro. a LOT! and the one that i couldnt miss is channel 15 where they play back all the AF from season 1 - 3. it was quite.. entertaining.. hehehe

i missed AF1 as that time tengah sibuk menggatal. so by the time i hooked with the series, half of them were no more on the stage. and my eye catcher was *ehem*.. khai. hehehe.. dunno why la. he has this kind of "kick" on stage. since his relationship with rosma revealed - whether true or not, i dont care - i kind of, boringnya ini org. ke hulu ke hilir pun asik berdua. so i cam boringla. bukan jeles ye. tulunch la.... another one, nana. i like the jovial character she has within. vince not so for me. sahri for the voice. urghhh.. love his voice. got no comment for the juries. that time, still fresh mind for the new reality show

then came AF2. yang ni komfem duk depan tv. my little adam was born on the first day of AF2. so i hapal setiap apa yg jadik kat AF2. komfem punya. and zahid tickled me the most. he got the "x factor" as an artist. for the voice, it was superb. any genre suits him best. and another eye catcher is linda. maybe because she has the look of a good friend of mine. so i cam suka sangat tengok dia. the rest, ok-oklah. i like bob's voice, but there were times that he over reacted, so i cam boringlah pulak dia ni.... kudsia? equals to boredom.

AF3 i tak macam follow sangat. tak taulah nape. in prelude, i like fuad. he's a performer. tapi bila masuk real AF lain pulak. then started mawi's phenomenon.. woooo.... sampai i pun terbabitlah dengan barangan mawi ni. maybe because i enjoy seeing other people being happy. itu pasal la i tolong jual itu kad raya & angpow mawi. my previous office memang penuh dengan mawi's fans. oleh itu, jualan saya amatla larisnya. literally, i like no one in AF3. ntahlah.. nak kata star pun tak ada. kudsia was like yucksss!!! and i pedulik hapa dengan ur standing ovation. pirahhhh...

for me, AF3 is not like AF1 & 2. one thing for sure, friendship tu cam tak kukuh. i can see a strong friendship in AF2. the whole bunch of AF2 were seems to enjoy their 3 months on camera. but those in AF3 were just like clowns. being one whose not themselves. pretending; to be precise. AF1 was quite oklah.. they were new to the programme. so i believe those are the truth out of them.

ideally for AF4? get rid of kudsia.

for astro, please find a jury who could deliver frank opinion to improve the students' performance. and please la.. no more jury who wants to look at the eyes, the hair, the nose, the baju, the rantai, the subang, the topi, the.. the.. the..

thank u

NEXT!!!!!!

berita dari krai

28 march - guchil, kuala krai - keghairahan seorang pelajar tahun 4 membuat willy menggunakan motosikal membawa padah. pelajar yg tidak diketahui identiti itu telah melanggar seorang budak kecil berusia lebih kurang 4 tahun yg sedang berjalan dengan kakaknya.

kemalangan itu telah menarik perhatian beberapa penduduk kampung yg kebetulan sedang berehat menghirup udara yg nyaman di beranda rumah. selain itu, kejadian tersebut mengakibatkan sekumpulan remaja yg sedang bermain bola di padang berhampiran memberentikan perlawanan dan memberikan rawatan cemas.

dipercayai abg kepada pelajar tahun 4 itu yg sedang bermain bola telah mensekeh & melepaskan penumbuk bertubi2 kepada adiknya akibat geram dengan kejadian itu.

budak kecil berusia 4 tawon itu telah dibawa ke hospital kuala krai dengan sebuah kancil. sungguh baik hati pemilik kancil itu. boleh dibuat menantu lagaknya.

"palo budok tu kepek" menurut abah, antara yg terawal tiba ke tempat kejadian. sehingga hari ni, update belum diterima.

sekian, terima kasih.

*kepek dalam bahasa lainnya adalah kemek.

encik awie nak nyanyi lagu iris

Kau masih ku cintai...sungguh
dari awal dulu hingga hari ini
aku pasti seyakinnya pasti
kaulah satu untukku

kau masih dewi hatiku...sungguh
biar sejuta tahun hilang di hari
usah gusar...sayang...usah ragu
aku milik mu

Cintaku jika kau tanya pada bintang
kemilauan sinar takkan hilang
akan aku sinari duniamu
moga terpadam sangsi mu

cintaku jika kau lihat tingginya awan
takkan tercakar tinggi cintaku
hanya hati ku tahu apa mahu ku
dan duniaku pasti milik mu
hingga ke akhir hayat ku...

kau masih ku cintai...sungguh
dari hari pertama kau ku nikahi
aku pasti...yakinnya pasti
engkau milikku

~ 0 ~

i dah few times dengar lagu ni. best! honestly, sora awie ni bestlah. i like his album yg ada tragedi oct, ratuku, etc, etc. iye.. saya seorang yg jiwang. harharhar.. lagu ratuku tu given by somebody. so cam tetiba je suka lagu tu. hehehe..

i have to admit the reality la. he has a good voice. and i have to be frank to admit the fact that; the listening part is literally ok. but to watch him, it's no - with capital "N" & "O".

i remember the time i had my jpj test drive. i had the test kat terengganu with this big fella as co driver. looking at him, i pressume he likes the rock2 thingy la. kebetulan pulak time i test drive tu, ada lumba motor kat pantai batu buruk. so i tanya dia, tak pegi ke tengok race tu. then dia jawab.. "tak sesuai dengan jiwa saya. saya minat spring, awie.." and the conversation continued. i passed the test with result on par. patutnya i pun kata i minat awie kan? sure i pass 100%. harharhar..

jom layannnn.. tima kasih fizah. hehehehe..

i hate u!!!

dah baper kali dah asik cenggini. bosan tau. bosan!!!! asik2 tunggu. asik2 kata minggu depan. sampai bila i nak tunggu ni? bosanlahhhh!!!

lepas satu, satu. lepas nangis, nangis lagi. lepas tu gelak2 sat, peh tu nangis lagi. letihla. letih tau. l-e-t-i-h. tau? dah letih dah asik nangis je.

lagi sorang pulak asik2 dengki. dengki tak sudah. tak cukup2 ke dosa lagi ke? tak reti2 ke nak buat baik sikit? kalo lawa sangat tak pelah.. adohai si jendul itu. mensampahnye gue. eh.. tak baik ngutuk. ampun.. ampunnnnnn...

dahlah sejam je. time org minum kopi sampai sengih tu sikit punya lama. boleh u-uk 3 round.

aduuuhhh... derang ni pun cepatkanlah sikit cite natasha tu. i dah boringlah tunggu. ntah bilanya dia nak settle. lepas sorang2 meninggal. nangis dah tak de rupa nangis dah si fasha tu. abg lan mya zara pun dah masuk penjara dah kembali ke pangkal jalan dah pun. dah besar dah si umar hafiz tu. si natasha ntah bila nak sudahnya... adohaiiiii.....

but honestly, i sudah bosan! heheheh.. meleret sungguh cite ni. tapi bak kata member2 - i dah kena sindrom suri rumah. so layan jelah... :)

i'm not a girl, not yet a woman

I used to think
I had the answers to everything
But now I know
That life doesn't always go my way, yeah

Feels like I'm caught in the middle
That's when I realize

I'm not a girl, not yet a woman
All I need is time
A moment that is mine
While I'm in between
I'm not a girl

There is no need to protect me
It's time that I
Learn to face up to this on my own, oh

I've seen so much more than you know now
So don't tell me to shut my eyes

I'm not a girl, not yet a woman
All I need is time
A moment that is mine
While I'm in between
I'm not a girl

But if you look at me closely
You will see it in my eyes
This girl will always find her way

(I'm not a girl) I'm not a girl, don't tell me what to believe
(Not yet a woman) I'm just trying to find the woman in me, yeah
(All I need is time) Oh, all I need is time
That's mine, while I'm in between

I'm not a girl, not yet a woman
All I need is time
A moment that is mine
While I'm in between

I'm not a girl, ooh
Not yet a woman

~ 0 ~

i did a silly mistake, please forgive me my luved ones......

PA untuk mawi (pattu)

27 & 28 february 2006

sikit punya awal kuar umah. still sampai 10 minutes late. both days. sakit ati dalam keta tak habis lagi. tambah pulak ada satu mamat ni dok jeling cam la jelingan dia manja sangat. report duty barulah tau that's the supervisor in charge. hmm.. memang masaklah.. nama roy. cam glamer sangat... podacit!

first day mawi kena gi rehearsel kat astro. so kenalah ikut. nasib baik tak yah ke sana sini. kalo tak habislah kena jadik budak sekolah naik van. abg roy (cehhh.. abg konon) dah brief on what to do, whom to see, when to contact, bla, bla, bla. eh eh. macam banyak pulak keje kan? what to do do. quesera-sera je la. but being in contact with mawi was amazinglah. tak delah nampak fenomena. he's like any other kids je. but leh rasa la aura2 jantan dia. wakakakka..

yada yada yada. cut the story short: things are history.....

.... that never made to reality..

27 & 28 tu i gi puspanita sales kat putrajaya. tak caya tanya aiza & kak jah. kan za kan? hehehe...

untuk sahabat2 ku yg tercinta,

ampunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!

citer di atas & sebelumnya hanyalah imagination i je sebenarnya.. tak de kaitan dengan yg idop atau mati...

i guess i can jump into another job la - a writer. hahahhaa..

the longer i hold the longer that i cannot finish off the story. comments by comments made me smile and smile and smile and laugh.. heheheh..

u people are just "amazing" for me. thanks my dearie!!! for making my days wonderful.

ampunkanlah sahabatmu ini.... lariiiiiiiiiiiiii.......

PA untuk mawi

registration was quite easy. isi borang yg cam dah selalu isi. balik2 soklan yg sama. nama, ic, dob, address, yadayadayadayada.. pusing keliling. mmm.. ramai dah org. submit borang dapat nombor. 69. oklah tu. tapi dok pikir org nombor 1 pun pun tak masuk lagi. yg nombor 69 ni pukul berapa baru nak masuk. alamat solat isyak kat sini la nii..

tunggu punya tunggu. lepas sorang, sorang masuk. ada yg muka tension. ada muka happy. muka macam mawi pun ada. boring punya pasal, org sebelah jadik mangsa. cite lah kisah tok nenek bagai. sekali nama dia kena panggil. aduhhh.. tak sempat nak goreng cite tupperware. melepaslah. so i have to fish another big kerapu. mmm.. sebelah ni laki. belakang tu pulak asik baca magazine. ah! malehlah...

"no 69"
"saya"
berdebar tuuu..

"kenapa awak nak apply jadi PA mawi ni"
"saya apply jadi PA mawi sebab saya rasa saya berkebolehan. i have a diplome in executive secretaryship. and i have 5 years experience as a secretary. i believe i have the capabilities as a good PA to mawi"
"PA mawi ni tak sama dengan PA lain. macam mana?"
"mana2 pun ada cabaran. so i have to be brave to take the challenge. after all it's all about challenging myself"
"apa yg awak tau pasal dunia muzik mawi"
"mawi as what we knew is a phenomenon to the music industry. he was brought up by AF3 where he was the winner. mawi started as a budak kampung yg nyanyi suka2, gi karoke, then masuk AF3 dengan tak tau apa2. with 0 in mind, now he's a person that people looking for"
"apa yg menyebabkan awak nak jadi PA mawi?"
"saya nak cari pengalaman. saya tak pernah buat field work. so dengan kesempatan ni, mungkin saya boleh menimba lagi banyak pengalaman dan mampu pergi jauh dalam bidang ni."
"boleh nyanyi lagu mawi?"
"bolehlah rasanya"
"kalo mawi salah pitching awak boleh betul kan?"
"pitching saya tak tau. buah peach saya tau"
"lawak ye. buat lawak ye... ok. mawi ada soalan?"

uurrgghh.. bila pandang mawi tu rasa berpinar biji mata. oh! cupid. awatlah tak tembak i ngan mawi awal2 dulu....

"saya ada satu soalan ya. misal katalah awak kena ikut saya ke sana sini. awak ada anak. ada suami. macam mana suami & anak awak?"
"susah soalan tu. bagi saya family comes first. but there are some excuses. kalau saya boleh habiskan masa 12 jam saya untuk kerja. saya masih ada 12 jam untuk keluarga saya. org kata nak seribu daya, tanak seribu dalih. saya kena pandai membahagikan masa. org kata masa untuk keluarga adalah masa yg terbaik dalam diri kita. so saya rasa saya tak akan kerja 24/7 dengan mawi saja. for sure saya akan ada masa terluang untuk diri saya. sekurang2nya untuk anak kesayangan saya"

urgghh.. betul ke jawapan niiiiiii...

"baiklah. nanti kita akan announcekan the final 10. apa2 pun kami harap anda berjaya. kalau tak berjaya, cuba lagi. mungkin ada opportunities lain lagi. sebelum tu awak dikehendaki nyanyi mana2 lagu yg mawi pernah nyanyi"
"nyanyi? aa. aaa.. aaaa.. pupus boleh?"
"boleh"

acara menyumbang lagu pun berlaku dengan sepantas kilat...

~ yada yada yada yada yada - iklan ini ditaja oleh biskut cap kuda kepang ~

"ini senarai yg terpilih ya. kepada yg tak terpilih, jangan berputus asa ya. saya akan announcekan nombor & nama. sila ke bilik sebelah ni ya. .. .. .. .. .. 69 .. .. .. .."
"uh? dapat? cam tak caya je......."

"baik. tahniah pada anda semua. saya serahkan pada mawi untuk beritahu anda tentang tugasan anda"
dag dig dug lagi.....
"assalamualaikum semua. tugas sebagai PA saya bukan satu yg boleh dianggap remeh ya. kamu semua tahu kesibukan saya macam mana. jadi saya mahukan PA yg mampu buat kerja saya berjalan lancar. seorg yg mampu menguruskan dirinya dan juga diri saya. kamu akan diberi 2 hari untuk bersama saya. pada hari itu, kamu akan menguruskan semua tugas2 book bilik, call agent, call promoter, dan macam2 lagi lah. kamu akan di beri briefing pasal tugasan kamu oleh en ramli. jadi, selamat bertugas. apa2 pun.. world!!!"

"terima kasih mawi. ok. kamu semua akan diberikan kumpulan dan akan bertugas mengikut kumpulan kamu. .. .. .. .. .. kamu bertugas pada 27 & 28 February. kamu mesti melaporkan diri di astro seawal 7 pagi. pulang tak tau pukul berapalah. whenever the job is done, then it's a day off for u"

"wowo... 7 pagi tu.. dah bangun ke eh... sempat ke sampai"

jeng jeng jeng....

berita kematian

how would u people react when receiving/hearing such news?

my first berita kematian was atuk's. that time i was in standard 5. sebelum tu memang dah penah terima berita kematian such as moksu, mektam, unyang, etc. but then at that time i tak paham. maybe kecik lagi nak paham apa kisah org meninggal. so atuk's was my real case scenario.

atuk sakit kencing manis. atuk nak balik segamat, umah pak long. ada satu hari tu buat yassin kat umah tok andak. i pegi ngan mokteh naik bas. time tu i bengang gile ngan atuk. sebab atuk suh urut kaki dia. i dah urut. tapi that time biasalah.. dah jumpa sepupu sepapat kan.. of courselah main tu lagi penting. atuk ngejek i. dia kata i urut tak kuat langsung. i kecik hati. masuk bilik nangis. maklong datang pujuk. besoknya i balik KL ngan mokteh. at the time of receiving the news, i was downstairs. dengan mak & bapak. talipon bunyi. i sebagai operator tak rasmi umah tu, i gi angkat talipon.

org dalam talipon: sapa tu?
i: nak cakap ngan sapa?
org dalam talipon: ni makcik (apa ntah nama dia) kat depan umah uwan kat kg pandan tu
i: aaaa...... (blur lagi.. tak tau nak buat apa)
org dalam talipon: ni.. makcik nak cakap. atuk kamu dah meninggal. ayah ada? (makcik ni pun.. dah cite ngan i baru dia nak suh i panggil bapak)
i: jap eh..

i toleh kat bapak and said: bapak, makcik ni kata atuk dah meninggal

bapak rushed to grab the phone. and i naik atas. jumpa mokteh

i: teh... na nak cakap. kalo na cakap mokteh caya tak?
mokteh: nak cakap apa?
i: ada makcik kat depan umah uwan talipon kat bawah. mokteh caya tak dia cakap atuk dah meninggal?

mokteh i tak toleh dah.. dia terus turun bawah. sayup2 i dengar bapak consoled dia.

yet at that very moment, i tak baper paham lagi pasal kematian. and i got 6th sense yg atuk akan pegi. sebab i lalu depan surau as-sabirin kat umah i. tetiba i bau kemenyan. tapi i diam. i tak cakap sesiapa. bila dah besar sket, i started to understand...

then i dah membesar, i started to receive banyak berita kematian from uwan. uwan selalu update i. walaupun org tu i tak kenal, dia cite jugak kat i. dia ingat i kenal kot.. tak jugak... sebenarnya dia nak suh i sampaikan kat bapak. i kan posto. hehehe..

time uwan meninggal pun, i dah boleh rasa uwan akan pegi. kami dah tido lepas balik tengok uwan kat tg malim. adam pun dah lena. tetiba kul 11.45pm, adam bangun, hoyong-hayang, dalam 5 minit dia tido balik. i dah tergerak. tapi i diam je... sharp 12.05am, joben called dari tg malim with the news. argggghhhhh.. seksanya rasa dalam dada. i naik. macam mana i nak cakap ngan chengkut. i naik, i peluk dia dulu. then i cakap selow2. nangis jangan cakap lah.. i rasa tak de sapa yg tak nangis bila dengar berita kematian org yg tersayang. kan?

then i started to call relatives to inform them. berat jugak tanggungjawab ni. mana nak tahan air mata. mana nak cakap lagi. aduhhhh... yg i tak leh lupa was some words from ayah: "sabar.. dariNya kita datang, kepadaNya kita kembali. redhakan pemergian arwah. moga2 dia ditempat org2 yg dikasihiNya"...

hari ni i dapat lagi satu berita kematian. kak jah's hubby passed away. well i guess i've been receiving a lot of berita kematian sejak 5 tahun kebelakangan ni. baik kawan, baik sedara.

semoga roh mereka dicucuri rahmat & ditempatkan di kalangan org2 yg soleh & solehah. amin

me & beta

it's been 11 years since i met these people. perghh.. sikit punya lama. they were my classmates. form 4 & 5. the same people who struggled with me with the papan lukis & pensil 2b, calculator & science labs. if i can correctly recall, our class/batch was the first to do engineering. selalunya engineering kat sekolah teknik @ vokasional. but then ntah napa that particular year, derang nak wat engineering kat sekolah i. and i was selected in that class. if my preference, i nak masuk economy class. senang.. baca je. ni kena lukis lagi. buat experiment lagi. kantoi tahap 100% tu.

those 2 years, i've never passed my exams. yup. never. memanjang SAP. my elective subjects were engineering art, additional math & additional science. add science is more or less like pure science. cuma kami basic jelah. tak delah go into detail. kalo derang belah katak, kami observe katak jelah.. add math memang i kantoi. sampailah my add math teacher, whom also my class teacher ajak i belaja ngan dia. pandailah sikit. paham jugaklah amenda janjang tu. and engineering art has never been my fav subject. i've never understood what is isometric drawings, yada yada yada.. fenin..

trial pun SAP. mak & bapak dah neves. a day before SPM results' announcement, i tanya bapak. "bapak, kalo kita fel camne?" "amiklah sekali lagi". aduhhh. menikam kalbu tuuu. so besoknya i pegilah sekolah amik result. i still remember wearing baju kebaya hijau yg bapak beli kainnya kat sarawak. memang dalam hati, i tak de menaruh harapan zaiton sameon. i dok pikir, mana i nak amik balik spm ni. so, i pun tak de berdebar langsung bila ngadap pn. anita - my class teacher.

pn. anita to cik sallina: sal.. ni kena belanja kita ni
cik sallina to pn anita: a'ah. betul ni.. tak mainlah kfc je

i? hampehlah cikgu ni....

pn. anita: congratulations

smacked a kiss on my cheek

i opened the results

"UJIAN LISAN BAHASA MELAYU: LULUS"
"PERKARA ASAS FARDHU 'AIN: LULUS"
"AGREGAT UNTUK PANGKAT: 24"
"KEPUTUSAN SPM: 1"

yey! alhamdulillah!!!

meeting the beta this evening winding up the memories with them. the ups & downs. the tears & laughters.

thanks people!
# fizah
# giant + maya + adlyn
# era + (apa nama bini ko ye) + iman
# faril
# shahrin
# aja + nurin
# syahman + iza + adriana
# nurul + rizal + azim
# shawal + faiz (selamat perantin to be)
# mat ari + lin + aliya

~ lepas ni aku dah jadik tokey tupperware aku banjer korang yeeee~

buddies

it was sherry's big day yesterday. i prepared dinner for 2 families. sekali che nani called inviting us for dinner. since i dah masak, i ajaklah derang makan sini sekali. so, it was a bit meriah jugak.

sherry was a former schoolmate. dia alfa, i beta. she joined smlk since form 4. ntah mana gaya i boleh rapat dengan ini org pun i tak sure. dia minah spegeti, i minah tempoyak. however, there's a dotted line between us. jarang nak tengok kami kuar. jarang tengok kami berdua. but yet, the good buddy relationship is there. she's always there for me in any occasions. wedding je dia tak datang. :sigh: but numerous of times, she will always there by my side. errr... by the other end, kalo dalam talipon. heheh..

dulu dan kini

and today's lili's big day. lili (bukan nama sebenar) was a cyber friend. then we met. jadiklah sahabat sampai la ni.

it's a good feeling to have all friends around you. alhamdulillah, thank to Almighty Allah that i have all the good people around me. bad people also got. but i manage to shoooh myself away. as time passed by, we know the friends who are really bridge the friendship. and we know those yg macam siut. i have siut friends yg tak de keje lain selain menyusahkan org. tapi lantak kilan la.. hehe..

abg botak menang lagi..

hehehe.. asik2 dia menangkan? kalo ada pakai sms ke undi ke sure dia menang punya. i pun suka dia menang.. yey!

ABP berita harian this time around cam tak baper best je. ntahlah.. ada yg tak gempak. tak taula what was the missing x factor. cam ntah. tak best. dengar presenter cam mengarut. and i cam tak suka fauziah nawi tegur fasha sanda macam tu. biarlah dia nak nangis. itupun susah. nak tegur pun belakang2lah. ni dengan mike kat mulut. apa la..

what else eh? aaa.. i like zahid like that. takdelah rambut cacak2 macam nak bersih sawang. ooopppp.. ampunnn... serius.. he looks better tonite. pakai selipar pun henseeeemmm

yada yada yada yada

i like mawi + m. nasir the bestest. m.nasir pun dah jangkit mawi tak ingat lirik? nice! hehehe.. i really enjoy their show. itu 2 org ingat ke tak ingat yg derang tu perform depan kerabat? hahaha.. they really groove into the music man! itu yg enjoy sangat2.

to sahabat mawi.. congratulations! u guys really work hard for it. for bukan sahabat mawi.. tabahkanlah hatimu. heheheh

amacam? hensem tak jambul adam?

i'm like a bird

i dah resigned! yey!!

being in that company is like enroll into mental hospital. sebelum application i lulus, baik i angkat kaki, blah. bukan i tak suka keje situ. suka. tupperware i pun laku banyak kat situ. heheh. but then maybe it was my mistake that i couldnt adapt into the environment. which i think, typical narrow minded people. i dont mean all the people ok. certain people. maybe that's the culture of that particular group of companies. i tak tau. but my first employment was not that bad. oklah.. but this one.. aiyahhh.. memang gali lubang kubur punya.

for this company i wish the good fortune and all the best with it's future undertakings. headed by 2 new bosses, i hope their vision & mission are realistic. the only thing i hope they could is to smack on that MBA. uurgghh! how i wish she would wake up and realize what she has done wrong.

for the new company... eh eh.. dah resign ni banyak pulak offer. sampai tak tau nak pegi lapor diri kat mana. hehehe.. alhamdulillah. rezeki. i pulak yg kena short list. amboii.. ala2 eksen pulok dooohhh..

a blessing in disguise? amin...

~ 0 ~

You're beautiful, that's for sure
You'll never ever fade
You're lovely, but it's not for sure
That I won't ever change
And though my love is rare
Though my love is true

I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away
I don't know where my soul is
I don't know where my home is
(And baby all I need for you to know is)
I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away
I don't know where my soul is
I don't know where my home is
(And baby all I need for you to know is)

Your faith in me brings me to tears
Even after all these years
And it pains me so much to tell
That you don't know me that well
And though my love is rare
Though my love is true

It's not that I wanna say goodbye
It's just that every time you try to tell me that you love me
Each and every single day I know
I'm going to have to eventually give you away
And though my love is rare
And though my love is true
Hey I'm just scared
That we may fall through

E.M.P.T.Y

that's how i feel at the momento..

why ah? i oso dono. i just feel so empty inside. tho adam-the-cheeky-inhouse-entertainer is there to cheer me up, but to some extend, there's still emptiness in me.

aight! i might miss uwan. i might. but i dun think i miss her that much. it's just that whenever i look at the Quran she gave. and look at those piccies, the tears start to flows. whatodo... i'm cengeng kan..

or maybe it's about the incident happened between me and this awek of somebody i know. nah... why should i bother about somebody who lied to me. kan? and why should i think about somebody who have once said "eleh.. asal nampak jantan hensem mula la terhegeh". padahal that jantan yg hensem was my bf (was ye.. sila baca sekali lagi.. w-a-s my bf). ceh... tulah.. karma is always rite. what goes around comes around. dulu dia dok ngata i. la ni tengok... tengok.. sapa yg terhegeh? harharhar.. i bukanla nak ngutuk dia. i just want her to know the reason why i remember her so well.. tho that thing happened more than 10 years ago, those words are just a click away. it hurts man!

bukan. tidak. i bukan pendendam. neither that i'm arrogant. cuma kadang2 i tak suka mengenang kisah sembilu pedih meleleh macam kena siram dengan air garam campur cuka campur limau nipis nih. yg lopeh tu lopeh la kan. i malehlahhh...

eh eh. cam rasa lega sikit pulak.. heheheh..

anyway, bunch of my old skool frens are coming for a reunion next sunday. teruja tuuu.. it's been like what? 10 years? wow! 10 years since i left skool. sungguh cepat masa berlalu. la ni pun asik celebrate besday anak2 member je. i pun dah setat plan for adam's birthday this june. BBQ sounds interesting kan?

counting days!!!!

rukun negara ke lima

kepercayaan kepada Tuhan
Kesetiaan kepada raja & negara
keluhuran perlembagaan
kedaulatan undang2
kesopanan & kesusilaan

atau dalam bahasa inggerisnya

belief in God
loyalty to king & country
supremacy of the constitution
the rule of law
mutual respect & good social behaviour

"Rukunegara or sometimes Rukun Negara is a philosophy - de facto Malaysia pledge of allegiance - introduced by the Malaysian government 1970 in reaction to a serious race riot known as the May 13 Incident which occurred in 1969. The incident proved at that time that Malaysian racial balance and stability was fragile at best. Immediately thereafter, the Malaysian government immediate sought ways to foster unity among Malaysians. One of methods used to encourage unity is the Rukun Negara. The Rukun Negara was introduced on the 13th Malaysian national day, which fell on August 31 each year."

~ 0 ~

time sekolah dulu i ada sedikit menyampah dengan hari senin. sebab pagi2 kena nyanyi Negaraku. peh tu lagu negeri selangor. peh tu lagu Malaysia jaya (ke apa ntah). peh tu lagu sekolah. peh tu rukun negara. tang rukun negaralah yg paling letih. siap kena angkat tangan ala2 karam singh walia. tapi hari ni i rasa macam ada sedikit tertampar with the 5th rukun. kisahnya begini..

seperti biasa jalan i nak gi keje jem. jem yg amat sangat this few days. i rasa due to most rakyat jelata works 5 days a week nowadays. so people either masuk awal atau balik lambat. kerana itu, jumlah kereta sudah bertambah. did the menteri2 cabinet had a thought about it before they agree on the implementation? tapi tak pela. dah terlambat. dah jadik bubur ayam mekdi dah. back to my jem story. jalan short cut bagi penjenayah jalan raya ada sedikit kesesakan. therefore, they have to opt for the main road. ada la satu, dua, tiga dan empat (baca ala2 ruffedge nyanyi ye) kereta yg masuk kategori tak pegi sekolah memandu. main potong q ikut belah kiri. ala2 ikut jalan emergency gitulah. what interest me so much was, this particular car ahead me, dia tak kasik org lain potong q dia. tapinya.. dia potong q i tak pe. and people yg nak potong q dia tadi tu adalah org2 di jalan short cut yg dia nak amik mula2 tu. paham tak? mm.. macam ni, dia nak masuk jalan short cut. tapi jalan tu jem. so dia potong q i kat main road. peh tu bertembung dengan org jalan short cut. tapi dia tak kasik org jalan short cut tu potong q dia. aa.. paham tak? tak paham jugak? mmmm... buat2 paham jelah...

so i was smiling & "eleh.. dia buat tak pe. org lain buat tak boleh.. piraaaaahhhhhh".

then i sampai kat elevated hiway punya tol. before me was a mercedez kaler ijo. this particular toll gate guy, dari jauh i dah nampak kekuyuan matanya. mungkin masih mengantuk sebab pagi2 dah kena keje. the merc driver kasik RM2.00. the charge is RM1.50. so budak kuyu ni pulangkanlah 50sen. tapi cara dia pulangkan tu, buat i rasa tertampar for the second time. dia lepaskan aja duit tu kat this merc guy. macam kita pegang duit peh tu lepaskan atas meja. aa. camtu la. to make the story interesting, duit tu jatuh. obviously that merc guy marah. and this budak kuyu? buat muka toya 3 kupang tak pandang langsung kat merc guy tu. and i dont think he said the magic word "sorry". "eh.. kurang ajarnye budak ni" kata i di dalam hati. dan terus i teringat the 5th rukun negara.

i dont know about u people. but i think things are getting worst each day. i jarang sekali dengar "terima kasih" kat cashier counter. the other day, i pegi tupperware, i terhegeh2 nak masukkan barang dalam plastik, this young lady buat derk je. eventhough i tak mengharap sangat pertolongan dia, but then cant she have the courtesy to at least say something like "boleh ke kak?". in contrast, i like the guys yg jaga parking kat opis i. memang i salute. they have the courtesy to greet, even the generousity to help u with ur things. memang boleh buat kawan. org2 macam ni dah pupus ke?

org skang dah hilang pertimbangan on kesopanan & kesusilaan ke? dah tak de rasa respect to each other? i dont feel there's need to welcome that kind of generation in Malaysia. we need pure malaysian. people with courtesy to say hi & thanks (+ other magic words). people with respects to other people.

makes me wonder, those program yg tunjuk tolong org tua lah, OKU la, budak2 la, tu sume real ke? ke lakonan semata2?

i rest my case..

i am

when i was a kid, people around me call me dikna. there was only me & my bro, definitelylah i dapat title adik. then my sister came along. i became angah. but the dikna still exist especially to my relatives in terengganu. baik tua, baik muda, suma panggil i dikna. my neber depan umah lagi best. dia panggil i kak dikna. heheh..

for family members, it was angah here angah there. kak ngah to my cousins. and i'm going to be mak ngah soon. but to friends, i remain as anna. that time, i sungguh marah kalo org eja my name with single "n". sampaikan tulisan jawi pun i buat dable "nun". and i remember one ustaz ni buat "sabtu" atas "nun" i. harharhar...

until the day i joined metrojaya, somebody called me anne. this bro maleh nak panggil nama i panjang2. furthermore ada yg nama sama. dia takut kompius. so i got a new name. then i got into ITM. in my class ada few names end with "-na" namely hana, dianna, mardiana, azianna. so since my friend azianna took the anna, i decided to go with anne. bedal je la. kena pulak the masa predip tu, i kena blajar omputeh je. so the name blends la kan? anne the org puteh? heheheh...

bila i dah graduated, i jadi confuse. nak suh org panggil anna ke anne? my first job, i kenalkan diri as anna. bersambunglah sampai ke 2nd job ni. but yet terselit jugak anne di sini sana. yelah... i dah ada mixture of friends. so anne + anna here, there.

then i got another name. mak bagi. termaktublah yg i ni the cemetot among my siblings. due to that, mak suka panggil i metot. joben & chengkut pun terikutlah panggil i cenggitu. akan tetapi, as younger sister, chengkut tak lehlah panggil i metot kan? nanti dia dianggap adik yg kureng hasam. so she calls me cemet. therefore, i got another name... nama itulah yg my family panggil i skang nih.

i got a cyber name. cumi. heheh.. ada few people je yg panggil i camtu. kekadang cam kelakar je rasa. jauh benar dari anna & anne tu. tapi tak kisahlah. janji derang tau sapa derang panggil. kan?

i've never like people call me su. i dont know why. time kecik2 ada la org panggil i susu. and i rasa because of that, i jadik bengang gile kalo org panggil i su. until now, i still have the same feeling. i dont like being called as su. but then i have to give in for che made's family. the nieces & nephews ada yg panggil i cik su or suna. suna tu sebab i makcik yg bongsu & na tu nama i. cik su tu.. mmm.. mm.. mungkin sebab derang ingat i dipanggil su. tak taulah. tapi nak sedapkan hati i yg lara ni, i katala nama cik su tu sebab i ni makcik bongsu. hehehehe..

since 12 june 2004, i got a boy who call me mama. that's the best name ever. yey!

well.. ayang, honey bunny, sweet pie, angel of my heart, daling tercinta tu tak yah citelah kan? macam u all tak de nama2 manja camtu kan? kan? kan? elehhhh....

notakaki: anna my ITM classmate tu end up being called acik sudahnya. hampehh..

because u love me

For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through through it all

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak

You were my eyes when I couldn't see

You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you

You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you

I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

~0~

i've loved
and i'm still in love

under the bridge

~ forgotten realms ~

life is a trip, tripping is unavoidable. we all fall down from time to time. we all sit in our rooms alone, walls closing in, wanting to shed our skin. and with all of life's demands it's easy to get over burdened and loose touch with ourselves. there just isn't enough time in the day no matter how much time u hvae. there are always questions looming heavy over all of us. we find that we can lighten the load a little by expressing ourselves. sometime it's all we can do. sometimes it's the only thing that makes sense.

the human experience - life, is greater than the questiones it poses and our answers. it's important to have an answer though. the clock is ticking on all of us. i'm scared tooo...

~ 0 ~

i got it from a good friend. from him, i learnt that we each have our own anger and pain. he also told me that keeping it inside can do a lot of damage. we normally talk about what we had inside. and it really help - no matter how serious the problems are, we all must deal with the monster within. the same guy taught me this song:

Sometimes I feel
Like I don't have a partner
Sometimes I feel
Like my only friend
Is the city I live in
The city of angels
Lonely as I am
Together we cry

I drive on her streets
'Cause she's my companion
I walk through her hills
'Cause she knows who I am
She sees my good deeds
And she kisses me windy
I never worry
Now that is a lie

I don't ever want to feel
Like I did that day
Take me to the place I love
Take me all the way

It's hard to believe
That there's nobody out there
It's hard to believe
That I'm all alone
At least I have her love
The city she loves me
Lonely as I am
Together we cry

I don't ever want to feel
Like I did that day
Take me to the place I love
Take me all that way

Under the bridge downtown
Is where I drew some blood
Under the bridge downtown
I could not get enough
Under the bridge downtown
Forgot about my love
Under the bridge downtown
I gave my life away

"under the bridge" - red hot chilli peppers

**miss u keyoi**