mother's day

if my memory serves me right, i have only celebrated mother's day twice in my whole life. once when i was pregnant. and the celebration was because it falls on my birthday. the second time was when made bought me a spa treatment from the energy spa. none other that i could recall. neither that i could recall if i have ever celebrated mother's day with mak. maybe there was..

me and mak has never been an item. we argue most of the time. we could never row the same boat. the boat will crack, we will be drown. neither of us could swim - one of the minor similarities that we share.

during my childhood, i have always thought mak has never loved me. mak has always tried to figure out my fault. and it seemed that whatever good thing i did, has never caught mak's attention. but i have always been punished for things i did wrong. mak hated me, mak was jealous of me, mak has never wanted me in her life. it was hard to get daily pocket money from mak. it was only if i HAD no choice that i turned to mak. and i became little thief. whenever mak asked me to buy things from the kedai leman, instead of rm1, i'll "accidently" pull out rm5. i retired being a little thief a couple of weeks later, after bapak made me wrote a book full of "saya tak akan mencuri lagi".

during my teenie, things never changed. mak was still the same. i have never felt "welcome" by mak. whenever i did wrong, i'd be punished. whenever my sayings were wrong, she wont talk to me, silent treatment. thus made me turned to my friends. and she never knew who my friends were, except for sherry. the rest, i needed to explain. "fizah.. yg duduk belakang ni", "ayu.. yg duduk au3 tu", "bukan najwa la mak, nama dia izwa". it was pathetic. mak called me "anak setan" for answering a phone call from a friend. i felt totally discriminated. i felt.. i'm better off without mak.

i worked during my semester breaks. i have even started part time work during my final year in itm. simply because i needed my pocket money. simply because i want to stay away from home. simply because i dont want any silent treatments. and i had tears of sadness on my graduation.

i got married. we moved out of the house. a dream came true. and i am so grateful that this action has its disguise.

things changed.. mak has now called me whenever she has things on her mind. i am now, a buddy to mak. i am now somebody whom mak trusted and mak can turn to. mak has now been my companion whenever made is not around. though, yes, there are still times that i felt neglected by mak, but deep inside i know the reason for mak taking such action. mak confided in me. i felt proud. i felt a sense of belonging. i started to feel, i am mak's daughter. i started to feel the love in the air. i started to breeze with mak beside me. a feeling that was never with me...

as time passes, generation changes. that was the root of all conflicts. mak wanted the best of her children. along as her only son, she expects the best from along. so does from her 2 daughters. she stands firm for the lovely roses. and also to her only daughter-in-law whom she loves dearly, and the same goes to her darling son- in- law.

i tend to think she didnt love me. when the fact is that she loves me dearly. i am her first daughter and she was being over protective. i thought she was being nasty & strict because she didnt want me, but the truth is she wanted me to reach the clouds and not only stays on the ground. i felt she has neglected me but the thing was she wanted me to be independent and stand firm. she wants me to be able to look into the world with my own view and not thru her eyes. she wants me to listen to the melody with my own ears and not with her singing the lullaby. she wants me to taste all the sweet and bitterness and not for her to swallow it all for me.

she wants me to be me.

perhaps i was blind. perhaps i was the one who closed the ears and shut the mouth. or perhaps i was given more time and chances to realize before it was too late to love mak.

"i dare not to speak, as a word of mine will be a torn in your love. i dare not to speak as my speech will be a tear of my own. i dare not to cry as my tears will be the heaviest punishment for my children. as much as my sayings hurt you, it hurts me too. my silent was not a treatment. my silent was for your own good. i wouldn't want to hurt my darlings whom i cherish all these years. what had happened to me, was meant for me. i have never asked for things to happen but it was all written for me. please dont judge me for what i said for the sayings are only for what i felt. dont judge me for what i did for the action are only for what i regret" - mak

interview: en. made cekgu tahir

i was with made the other day. had nothing to do, i asked this question to my darling:

"let say one day, u have rm3 million. what is the first thing you will be doing?"

he conveniently answered, "masturbating"

er.. ok...

so i rephrase the question to, "if one day you win rm3 million, whats the first thing that comes into your mind?"

he chose to answer, "pay all my debts"

fair enough, i guess....

i then rephrase and asked the same question again:

"if you win rm3 millions tomorrow, what is the first thing that you'd buy?"

he confidently answered, "groceries and put it in the fridge. i'm being practical, ok.."

men are like this eh?

sawadikharp

friday, 16th may 2008
mh780
1805/1905 (local time)
KLIA, malaysia/suvarnabhumi, bangkok, thailand


taxi dia altis ok... confirm aku takkan beli altis.. driver dia bawak keta laju giler dan terselit-selit sampai aku rasa nak gi register insurance time-time tu jugak. kona dulu baru bagi signal, boleh? taxi dia ada macam2. motor pun ada. best wooo...


first impression, ya rabbiiiii.. ape menda ni. wire-wire ni sumer boleh dicapai dengan senang lenangnya oleh michael jordon ok.. untuk aku, kena panjat tanggalah.. giler rendah, berselirat. ada satu area tu, betul2 depan kedai. boleh?


check in: the bedrooms, boutique hotel
hospitality: excellent. staff dia sangat efisien, sangat cuba membantu. tak pandai english pun bedal je....
free wi-fi, bilik besar master bedroom aku je la tapi :D, depan mata - carrefour. flag belah kanan sekali tu flag malaysia. bangga kan?

www.thebedrooms.com

bangkok mass transit system (bts) = lrt
10 minutes from the bedrooms. ada tv dalam train. they announce name of places & put it up in the tv together with the ads. sangat convenient untuk org macam kami.
17/5: on nut - chatuchak market - on nut
18/5: on nut - siam paragon - on nut
19/5: on nut - mbk - siam paragon - on nut

ape ke boringnya aktivit en. ramadhan sekeluarga ni..



chatuchak park - opposite chactuchak market. chatuchak market tu ada macam2 menda. tapi kami tak berjalan sangat. tak bawak stroller adam. keadaan jalan yg tidak mengizinkan. visited only few front rows of shops saje. rugi pulak rasa :(


swensens ni dalam carrefour. kat kl susah nak jumpa. redah jugak :D makan macam payah sikit. sebelah swensens ni ada black canyon. dia kata tomyam seafood, tapi macam ada jugak daging tu. tawakal je lah... ada tempat kata halal, tapi ada itik gantung.. steady je. kehkehkeh makanan yg kami betul2 makan dengan berselera tanpa rasa was-was adalah secret recipe kat siam paragon. yg lain sumer baca bismillah tiap kali suap


tut-tut dari mbk ke siam paragon yg kalo jalan kaki tak sampai 100 meter pun. nak merasa punya pasal. lagipun driver dia ensem. dia bawak ronda2. tapikan.. aku rasa dia saja nak intai aku dari rear mirror dia. eh eh.. boleh ke gitu? hahahahaha


balik dari siam paragon, hujan lebat. satu simpang nak ke hotel tu naik air. pakai kasut baru, velvet pulak. tak leh kena air. nampak selipar biru ni tepi jalan. rembat je. kecik sikit. tapi bedal la.... tima kasih selipar. balik bilik, siap2 gi orchid spa, gi cuci kaki. hehehe...spa ni sebelah hotel je. made buat foot massage, aku buat thai massage. thai massage adalah sangat best. tapi untuk isteri-isteri yg suaminya ada sikit galak... sila ikut sehingga ke bilik ye. kalo nak tunggu sama pun bagus. sebab thai massage ni sangatlah lemah lembut dan "sensitif".


tuesday, 20th may 2008
mh785
1105/1405 (local time)
suvarnabhumi, bangkok, thailand/KLIA, malaysia


ole-ole dari bangkok, thailand:
baju tido tu sebab murah
buku cite tu beli kat kinokuniya sebab boring tak tau nak buat apa
souvenir beli kat mbk & chatuchak market
plaster tu sebab kasut merah tu gigit ankle
train untuk adam, cian dia boring
cd pocoyo tu untuk adam jugak sebab tv takde cartoon langsung. cite blue pun takde. kaciwa...
double decker tu mau kasik bangga je sebab barangan buatan malaysia
kasut tu... no comment


hospitality org thai sangat best - sila jangan pikir yg bukan2 ye... derang sangat bersopan santun & hormat org. asik tertunduk2, macam org jepun. dalam bts, kami confirm akan dapat seat. they will angkat bontot once tengok budak kecik. giler tabik kat derang. and the only sign they have in their bts is "please allow seat to those in need". takde sign org preggy ke, org pakai tongkat ke, org tua ke - yilek.

excited - penat - best - happy - seronok

kita dan org

rasa sakit hati kan..
bila kita jaga hati org
org tak reti jaga hati kita

rasa ralatkan..
bila kita jaga cakap kita, tutur kita, adab kita
org kata kita kurang ajar

rasa bengangkan..
bila kita cuba nak membantu
org kata kita menyibuk, jaga tepi kain org

rasa bodohkan..
bila kita hormat org
apa kita dapat hanya nista

kata-kata seperti apa yg kita buat selama ni tak cukup
kata-kata seperti apa yg kita buat selama ni tak memadai
kata-kata seperti apa yg kita buat selama ni tak perlu

apa lagi yg org mahu?
apa lagi yg org harap?
apa lagi yg org hendak?

tak cukup lagi dengan apa yg kita dah lakukan?
tak cukup lagi dengan kita tolong fikirkan kebaikan & kebahagiaan org?
tak cukup lagi apa yg kita dah korbankan selama ni?

kita kah yg terlalu memberi
atau
org kah yg tak pernah rasa mensyukuri?

kita kah yg terlalu memikir tentang org
atau
org kah yg tak pernah rasa dihargai?

kita kah selalu berbalik harap
atau
org kah yg selalu ingin dipenuhi

kita hanya manusia
manusia yg tak lari buat silap

adakala kita tak mampu
tak mampu untuk memenuhi semua hajat org

adakala kita tak larat
tak larat untuk menutup mulut org

adakala kita malas
malas nak layan perilaku org

salahkah kita begitu?
salahkah kita hanya ingin rasa kasih sayang & hormat
bila kita rasa hanya itu yg penting?

bukan duit
tidak harta
bukan kemewahan
tidak kekayaan

org mana yg mampu membeli kasih sayang
dengan ferrarinya?
org mana yg mampu membeli hormat
dengan juta-juta ringgitnya?

hanya si bodoh dan tolol saja yg kepinginkan ferrari & juta-juta ringgit org

kita tak nak hanya bahagia di dunia
kita nak bahagia di akhirat juga
tolonglah kita

kita penat....

pic from http://www.boundless.org

you and you and you and you and you

this morning something interesting happened...

i was infront of kilang transformer (ha.. kelas keramat kan? siap ada kilang transformer gitu...), i noticed one huge lori pengangkut carrying a jentolak, kept blinking it's headlights towards the opposite traffic. you knowlah.. like what will normally happen when a driver needs to make a turn but has not got a chance to do so. therefore he will blink-blink so that the incoming traffic would consider giving him way lah. macam itu... got it? anyways, pulang ke kisah driver lori tadi.. mari pikir why there were few cars ahead of me whom were also like me, ignored the blinking headlight given?

it is because... the signal given was going to its left. and he was actually wanting to turn right. jadik salah i dan kereta-kereta depan i ke tak bagi dia jalan?

ngoks....

this evening oso, something interesting happened...

i've been wanting to send gayah for some cleaning therapy. so after fetching adam and ammar, i went to this car wash which is like 2 minutes away from my house. the other day, made sent wakjah for cleaning, he said it was fast & cheap. rm7 only. so with this recommendation, i went there with the kids. upon arrival, i felt pity already. one of the workers is handicapped. i sangat hati sayu pilu tak boleh tengok org gini ok... so, i parked my car. and sat with the boys at one waiting space. nyamuk sangat banyak and ahead of us was this sign saying "kawasan wabak denggi". rasa nak je jalan gi 7-11 beli ridsect. the 2 workers were juggling between my gayah and another satria. berlagak siut owner satria tu. nak je aku lempang. macam aku heran sangat ko keje pengiring agung. takdenye aku nak tau ko nak beli keta 2nd hand untuk mak pak ko ke, mak mentua ko ke apa ke. baya keta cash ke. ko bawak satria ko dah sampai gunung ledang ke gunung jerai ke... aku tak herannnnnnnn dan tidaklah aku ingin tauuuuuu wahai kanda oiii.. tapi ko dah cite, aku dengar jelah...

CUTTT!!

cite balik pasal cuci keta. upon arrival, when i asked the guy how much was it for cleaning and vacuum, he said rm8. i was, oklah.. tambah rm1 pun tak kisahlah. then after cleaning2, i thought, nevermindlah. give him extra lah. pity them also. tempat terpencil, dont know got customers or not. so, i decided to give all the small change i had - rm11. after all cleaning done, i asked again how much for the cleaning & vacuum service. the non-handicapped guy told me rm10. pulak dah.. i was like, "eh? tadi kata rm8". and since i didn't want to argue, i just handed the money to him. the money means, all my rm11. and he just l-e-f-t. i watched him with no guilty feeling took the extra rm1 into his pocket. rasa nak belasah je dia. boleh ke? bukan tak ikhlas.. extra rm1 tu pun bukannya banyak mana sangat pun. in fact, i sangat ikhlas nak membantu. tapi....... ntah.. rasa ralat bila tengok keta takdelah cuci sangat. comot masih ada. kesan najis burung pun ada lagi. cuci kejadahnya tu? baik suh adam ngan ammar je cuci. puas hati tengok bebudak ni main air.

things like these happen all the time, yes? tak amanah, ignorant, selfish, berlagak, back-stab, etcetera. we are all human. we are bound to have these kind of feelings. but having said this, human, or we, people are still not wanting to analyze the root to what had happened. what had caused the feeling? what had caused others to feel or to react such way? we want people around us to sympathize. we want people to feel how we felt. but we are not willing to do more for others. am i right?

looking at 20 years ago, there were none to be called major highways. there were minimal tall buildings and skycrappers. there were minimum number of technology in life. and people are so intoeach other. now? as technology lead our life and development took the major role, human factors have decreased. respect, feeling for oneself, empathy, all the good-good note in pelajaran mural have been forgotten.

i'm scared. scared for what will adam face in the next couple of years. scared for what will myself be facing in the next couple of months?

notakaki: i have been bz lately.. penat. letih. exhausted. haus.... will update on me & iskl, me & 30, me & family soon. tunggu made balik, baru boleh upload gamba.

taken from www.babyblues.com

tata

minggu ini dalam sejarah

tuesday, 22 april 2008

i was in maybank bandar baru ampang. bapak's hp no appeared on my mobile phone. it was along. at first i thought of nothing wrong until i sensed something was not right because along was asking sort of stupid questions. and i had a feeling that he was trying to figure out how to inform me a news.

"moto bapak hilang, ada org curi subuh tadi. mak nak kuar gi keje, tengok moto takde"

i was stunned. bapak had just recently bought that bike with his allowance & winning money from paralympic games.

i went to bapak's place that night. bapak was in sorrow. whilst listening to the au5's CSI's report, bapak was resting in front of tv. then he sat, looking at me.

i could feel his despair

i could feel his lost

i could feel his sadness

i could feel his anger

i could feel his hope

he did'nt say much. but his eyes said it all..

while i was in maybank this morning, i could not even curse the thieves. i could only think, "hari ni ko bersuka ria la angkut moto bapak aku, akhirat besok berdukalara la angkut dosa2 ko". but upon looking at bapak, i wish i could do more for him.

"tak pelah bapak... kita redha saja. one day, ada rezeki lebih, i'll buy u a new moto - insya Allah"

thursday, 24 april 2008

i have just came back from maknek's place, fetching adam & ammar. then i saw this pakcik misai-ganteng, delivering flyers from house to house. i stopped infront of makcik pah's gate giving way for him to deliver the flyers.

he didn't stopped at kak shida's house. auik? my instant thought was maybe because kak shida is only renting that house. so perhaps there's no reason to distribute the flyer to her house.

but then he skipped my house too. auik? apa kes nih? i starred at him. he did'nt do anything. and delivered the flyer into makcik pah's post box. and to my other neighbours?

that was NOT right!

what make me different from my other neighbours?

first of all, i do not RENT this house. myself and made OWN this house. wanna see the s&p agreement? kami penduduk tetap kawasan ini ok!

yes, we are not the original penduduk of this kawasan, but neither do the mat despatch, pakcik misai-ganteng. he bought the house from pakcik matsom. how do i know that fact? because that house belongs to a friend of mine. and his father, pakcik matsom, has moved to bangi.

yes, made & i not a frequent "visitor" to the surau nearby. not because we suka2 tanak pegi. but we have time constraint and we are woking and we still have errands to run after working hours (these are called alasan ye kawan2). but we have made effort to join the community. we attended the ceramah (which was not informed to us like others. we figured it out thru a banner). made will occasionally perform his solat fardhu in the surau. we invited our neighbours for some makan2 when we have any.

i voted pas for the recent election and saari sungib has won.

so what make us different? why should we be pulled out from the list?

itu hari suruh sangat kami bergiat dalam aktiviti kemasyarakan & surau. tapi kalo tidak diinformkan, macam mananya kami nak tau?

cuba jawab pakcik2, makcik2 ajk BAKAU?

thursday, 25 april 2008

i was in maknek's place wanting to fetch adam & ammar. adam was sleeping, not very to my surprise, with puting. it was not my first time caught adam with puting whilst he's sleeping. not my very first time, i pulled it out and told adam off about this habit. but this time around, i had to put my foot down.

i told maknek that i was dissapointed with her. i told her that she was not helping me and made to get adam out of this habit.

i was harsh and my words were hard. i'm sorry..

i've been telling maknek about how we tried to pull adam out of his habit. i've been telling her how adam was coping with "no puting" environment. i've been telling stories to maknek how was it hard to adam and how he is now ok with the situation.

but whats the use of complimenting adam on all his effort at his own home when he's not achieving anything at maknek's house?

got what i mean?

i know... maknek has been helping me with adam since adam was 2 months old. i could never repay that contribution. but, if she really loves adam as much as i love adam, i just need her to support my moves to mould adam to be a better person. that's only it.

i hope she could understand. it's not that i'm controlling. well, maybe, perhaps, yes a bit. its just because adam is my only child. my only son. my only treasure. my life!

please understand.. i appreciate that...

adam danial, head to toe sponsored by mickey mouse

malu seh..

penah tak korang tegur org, tapi sembang punya sembang punya sembang punya sembang, tak alih-alih salah org? kehkehkehkeh.. malu kan??

meh nak kongsi cite ngan u all..

ada la satu hari tukan, i was in empire tower, city square. peh tu nampak la satu lady ni. sekali pandang macam kawan lama. so i pegilah tegur..

"heyyy...... zakiah kan?"

"eh.. bukan.."

mak datuk.. time tu rasa tebalnya muka... dahlah time nak tegur tu senyum sampai ke telinga. muka excited giler. sekali salah org..

addddduuuuhhhhh.... malu! malu! malu!

tapikan.. tebal muka time tu tak terlawan my second incident. it happened in iskl. ye.. di tempat kejeku. time tu ada international fest. so ramailah orgnya. ntah kenapanya hari tu i pun sangatlah peramah tamah makmahnya

we were heading to our car. sambil tu mata i meliar tengok keliling. spot this one car. this one lady, she looked exactly like my aunty who stayed in bukit indah. my thought, "oh.. mak long pun ada". so i lambai-lambai. kindda excited looking at her. and she came towards me. at that point, i looked at the driver. ah sudah! takde rupa my uncle langsung. time tu dah rasa nak panjat bumbung iskl.. tapi sebab that lady dah jalan towards me, buat menten jelah..

"hai...... have we met?" she said

ha ko.. rasa nak pitam time tu jugak.. apelah nasib ni.. salah org pulak ha.. walaubagaimanapun, i pity that lady. she tried hard to recall where we met. padahal tak penahlah berjumpanya. nasib baik anak2 dia kat elementary school. kalo kat middle/high school memang i pakai jubah tutup muka gi keje. malu giler!!

and baru kejap ni terjadi lagi satu insiden. we went out for dinner. i wanted to order this tahu bakar. so i pusing belakang, i nampak this guy. memang meja tu selalunya tempat budak tahu bakar tu duduk. dengan rasa terujakan tahu bakar tu, i pun orderlah kat dia. apa lagi.. both dia dengan awek dia cengang-cengang. aduhai.. salah orang pulak dah... malu lagi.. nasib baik lepas insiden, budak tu blah. kalo tak, mau terbakar je rasa duk kat situ.

moral of the story, pegilah buat pemeriksaan mata selalu. kehkehkehkehkeh

"maskot malu-malu konon"

i'm 30

aris's passing has given quite a deep impact on me. it has made me realize how short & valuable life is. and how Allah has given me chance to rebuild & reconstruct my inner-strength and faith.

alhamdulillah..

my gratitude goes to all my good & best friends ever in my life. one best friend since i was a 6 years old kid said this to me the other day "na.. if a newborn will cause you your life, please forget about it and dont make me regret". this was then concurred by another good friend. i'm touched whole-heartedly.

thank you..

reality, i wish i could just chew what the doc has said and spit it out. the obstacles are to hard. just when i thought i could sleep with the fact that newborn is a life vs death situation for me, i was awoken with another news.

"well.. from the test we had, you have two fibroids. one is 2.75cm and harmless. and the other one is 2cm but it's approaching your uterus line. this might be the reason why you're having the pain and it's pretty dangerous for pregnancy. but not to worry.. i've had cases worst than this".

"but i dont have 2 fibroids. i have only one which i had since i was a bachelor. and it dissapeared during my pregnancy. how can you say there is two when there is only one, 2 months ago?"

"well, lets monitor it for the next 2 months. if you're still having pain, perhaps operation is the best. however, the good news is, you're out of cancer"

"are you sure?"

"only the One above can decide that. as from my view, you are 95% free of cancer"

half sweet, half bitter!

went home, called mak, asked for 2nd opinion. and i had another not-so-interesting-info-for-my-listening..

"aren't fibroids some kind of cancer?"

completely bitter!

it has been a week since i got the news. trying hard not to think about it. some said fibroid is genetic. could be true. mak had it. but as for now, i'm living with it...

"yang.. do you want another baby?"
"i dont mind.. after all, you ARE my baby"

notakaki: the title acts as a reminder that i'm counting days for my birthday, my dear friends :P

l-o-v-e

the fact that made needs to be away on business trip has been quite routine for both me and adam. not to say i'm taking it easy nowadays but i'm trying hard to adapt into the situation. honestly, the feeling is still the same. i still feel terrible. i still miss him, as much as i miss on his first trip to bakun. i miss him even more whenever i came to the fact that this is the requirement of his job. his rice bowl.

alhamdulillah, technology has kept us closer. we are engaged with skype, ym, googletalk, etc. name it.. it's all downloaded for our better communication. when technology doesn't come cheap but there are still freebies :) we communicate each day. we sms-ing, we ym-ing, we chat-ing, all we can do.. just to ease the feeling that distance doesnt really a big thing...

i hate this distance. but i appreciate how it makes me feel closer & love made even more. i appreciate how it makes me closer to adam. and i appreciate the fact that this distance has brought myself closer to the Almighty. and also taught me some sense of anger management. every clouds has its silver lining. i've seen mine... alhamdulillah :D

all these has been good except the fact that, adam needs his ayah. who could bear the sadness of seeing her lovely child holding a picture of his ayah in his hand while laughing watching tom & jerry's silliness? who could avoid having tears seeing her child wishing "good nite" to his ayah, in the little small frame. who could fight the feeling of seeing this only child crying and asking for his ayah and at the same time clinging to mama since he opened his eyes in the morning till the time he has fall asleep...

***




L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
V is very, very extraordinary
E is even more than anyone that you adore

can love, it’s all that I can give to you
love is more than just a game for two
two in love can make it
take my heart but please don’t break it
love was made for me and you

maulidur rasul

lokasi: kaunter kentaki, melawati

kaunter: selamat petang kak. selamat datang ke kentaki. makan sini?

kakak: tak. bawak balik

kaunter: balik mana kak?

kakak: er.. rumah..

kaunter: rumah akak kat mana kak?

kakak: er... au4

kaunter: oo.. yg ada ceramah maulidur rasul tadi eh kak? ada ustaz haji daud salleh kan kak? best tak ceramah dia kak?

kakak: mm.. boleh tahanlah. funny guy

kaunter: dia ada cite pasal student murtad kak? kesian mak ayah student tu kan kak? tulah pasal.. salah derang jugak kan kak? kenapa dia paksa budak tu amik course yg budak tu tanak kan kak? ha.. kan dah budak tu protes sampai murtad. bebudak skang ni kak.. bukanlah saya nak kata apa. tapi kadang2 pendek akal. tapi heran jugakkan kak? budak tu hapal yassin, surah2 dalam al-quran dan bagai2. ni dah murtad, nak sedekah al-fatihah kat mak ayah pun dah tak boleh dah..

kakak: .. a'ah.. saya nak...

kaunter: lagi ustaz daud tu ada cite pasal akidah umat zaman Nabi Muhammad s.a.w vs umat zaman skang kak?

kakak: ada jugak..

kaunter: ha kan kak.. tulah.. saya pun rasa banyak beza dulu dengan sekarang. lagi banyak pembangunan lagi hanyut manusia akhir zaman ni. betul la org kata dalam church tu ramai org melayu kan kak? tapikan kak.. mak saya kata, jangan tersilap tafsir. mungkin derang tu indonesian atau org filipina atau pun org thai. muka derangkan ala2 lebih kurang kita je kan kak kan?

kakak: betul jugak.. boleh saya..

kaunter: akak dah kawin dah kak?

kakak: dah..

kaunter: ha.. tadi mesti ustaz daud tu cite pasal 4 golongon isteri yg akan ke syurga dan 4 golongan yg akan ke neraka. betul kan?

kakak: betul..

kaunter: saya agak dah.. kita kena pandai menilai kak.. kita ni org pompuan.. nak ke neraka pun senang. nak ke syurga pun senang. yg penting, jaga diri kita, jaga suami kita, jaga hubungan kita dengan Allah. bukannya kita kena sms & call Allah tu pun. kita hanya perlu beramal saja. lakukan apa yg disuruh dan tinggalkan apa yg dilarang. sonang baitu.. perempuan yg bergelar isteri ni kak.. kena ada ciri2 pemalu. kena jaga kehormatan dia sebagai seorang isteri. barulah sang suami berbangga. barulah suami tidak terasa nak mencari galang ganti. betul kan cakap saya kak?

kakak: ha betul.. saya nak...

kaunter: anak kakak sorang ni je kak?

kakak: a'ah sorang

kaunter: bila nak tambah kak?

kakak: insya Allah..

kaunter: akak tau kak.. golongan ke empat yg akan masuk syurga adalah isteri yg ramai anak kak.. yg penyabar melayan karenah anak2 dia. itu pasal lah syurga di bawah telapak kaki ibu.. betul tak cakap saya kak?

kakak: a'ah.. iye..

kaunter: nak ke neraka pun senang je kak... isteri yg tak jaga percakapan dengan suami, cakap tengking2 dengan suami.. ha.. dapat la lesen besar pegi neraka.. peh tu isteri2 yg memaksa suami dapatkan apa yg suami tak mampu pun, boleh contribute isteri masuk neraka tu kak. kakak datang sini ni, akak paksa suami akak ke tak?

kakak: er.. tak.. kami lapar..

kaunter: ha.. kalau persetujuan bersama tu tak pe.. jangan kita paksa dia. jangan jadi macam golongan ketiga isteri yg akan ke neraka. iaitu golongan org yg hidup tiada tujuan. kejap dia nak makan. lepas makan nak makan. lepas tu nak makan lagi.. peh tu dia tak tau nak buat apa dah. dahlah paksa suami dia beli itu ini, peh tu dia tak tau nak buat apa dah.. macam2 lah isteri sekarang. lepas tu kak.. memuliakan org luar daripada suami ni kak. ha.. itu golongan ke empat kak. aduh kak... kalo dekat opis tu bersakan berhias. kalo kat umah.. aduuuuhhhlahh.. bau bawang lagi wangi dari bau dia. tepek bedak dah macam tepek tar buat jalan. sampai laki malam2 bangun nak gi toilet pun boleh heart attack jadinya.. betul tak kak?

kakak: betul... dik...

kaunter: itulah kak.. kita ni, perempuan ni banyak kelebihan dan kekurangannya. kita yg pilih. kita yg tentukan. ala2 mengundi la jugak kak.. azmin ali datang tadi kak?

kakak: ada.. dah 3 suku ceramah baru sampai

kaunter: tak pelah. ahli parlimen kan sibuk.. tapi dia laki kak.. biarlah dia. dia cari rezeki untuk anak bini dia. bak kata ustaz daudlah kak.. yg penting balik keje, isteri dah sediakan air untuk suami. sambut dia dengan hati yg girang. dengan wajah yg manis. hati panas jadi sejuk, kak. suruh suami mandi dulu sebelum tanya "macam mana bonus abg tahun ni?". barulah dapat emas sampai pangkal lengan. kesimpulannya, semua ni bergantung pada kita. pada diri kita, sanubari, jiwa, raga kita. yg penting keikhlasan hati kita... tepuk dada tanya selera. ha.. berbalik tang selera, akak nak makan apa kak?

kakak: makan? ha.. makan.. saya nak makan jeli dengan aiskrim sudahla dik. nanti selasa depan, lepas akak dapat gaji akak datang lagi ye... tima kasih ye dik...

notakaki: gambar adalah hiasan semata. cerita di atas juga adalah ilustrasi penulis semata2 untuk menyampaikan ceramah ustaz haji daud salleh yg didengar di sambutan maulidur rasul anjuran badan kebajikan & khairat kawasan au4 (bakau) pagi tadi. harap maklum :D

pic taken from: www.grandmercuredarlingharbour.com.au

adam wants a baby

i was on my way home from mak's place with adam yesterday. then suddenly, at this junction adam raised up a question:

adam: mama.. mama dah beli baby ke?
mama: eh? kita mana boleh beli baby
adam: mama beli la baby. saya nak main dengan baby. dah lama saya nak main dengan baby
mama: mmmm.. nanti bila mama dah sihat, kita boleh main dengan baby eh. skang belum lagi. okeh?
adam: okeh....

then i asked him..

mama: kalau adam ada baby, adam nak bagi nama apa?
adam: nama macam saya lah
mama: nama adam jugak?
adam: yelah.. sama macam saya
mama: ish.. mana boleh.. nanti kalo mama panggil, dua-dua org pun pandang
adam: ha.. saya tau! saya bagi nama ultraman lah
mama: errrr.....

mak datuk anak akuuuuuu....... then ayah came home.

adam: ayah dah beli baby ke ayah?
ayah: ha? mana ada beli baby..
adam: ayah ni.. cepatlah beli baby. saya nak main dengan baby
ayah: ammar kan ada?
adam: ammar lasaklah.. dia suka tarik rambut saya..

nasib baik ayah tak pengsan.. hahahaha

marketing strategy

alin and i went to mekdi near to iskl this evening. before we reached the order counter, i saw this pokcik with plastic full of keropok keping (sila refer gambarajah di bawah untuk imej yg lebih lanjut). me, being me; i felt the urge to buy for the sake of "kesian kat pokcik tu". so when was i near him, i wind down the window. beginilah conversationnya:

pokcik: pokcik musafir ni nak. pokcik mari dari patani ni. ramai kawan pakcik mati sano. kena bunuh
i am: er....
pokcik: beli ja satu deh?! ike tenggiri ni. sedap ni.
i am: baper ringgit satu ni?
pokcik: kawe pokcik jua tigablas ringgit. pokcik jua limablas ringgit sajolah
i am: er....
pokcik: beli deh.. amik satu ja.. banyok isi nih. satu kelo. amik deh (seraya meletakkan keropok itu di peha gebu ku)
i am: bulih la...

so i gave him rm50. all he has was rm1 & rm5. so he counted 10, 20, 30. then he stopped

pokcik: baper wi tadi? pokcik dok reti kiro. tok skoloh tinggi
i am: tiga puluh lima
pokcik: ho lah.. timo kasih dehh...

then we got our icecream. and i couldn't stop thinking these things:

1) apa kaitan kawan dia terbunuh kat patani dengan keropok keping ikan tenggiri dia?
2) camne nak meniaga tapi tak reti kira? tapi pandai amik untung rm2 dari kawan dia..

macam2 sungguh marketing strategy nih..

leap year baby..

semalam besday mokteh... mokteh is bapak's younger sister. bapa has other 7 siblings. 4 of them had passed away. another 4 still surviving. mokteh is one of those who is lucky to be born on 29 february. a leap year baby. myself, made & adam celebrated mokteh's birthday at her home in klang today.. a joyous event for mokteh's 12 years old :) - she's actually in her 40s.

"cepatlah wan uteh.. tiup lah lilin tu"

"ala adam.. wan dah lama tak tiup lilinlah.. tak tau macam mana nak tiup"

"cam ni la wan"

"fuuuhhhhhhhh"

"ok adam... kita potong pulak. 1, 2, 3..."

"pissssssssss..... happy birthday wan uteh"

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOKTEH! SEMOGA DIMURAHKAN REZEKI & DIPANJANGKAN UMUR. AMIN!

in memory of a dear friend

23.02.08

10:20pm - i received a call from sherry.
"anna, i have a bad news from makcik pi. aris syah dah meninggal"
"hah? u jangan main2 sherry"
"tak.. i serius"
i put down the phone. i contacted kodi, aris's best friend. as soon as he answered, i asked where he was.
"kat rumah arwahlah"
"jadi betul la nih?"
"betul"
soon after, i received an sms from isma "sahabat kite aris shah telah kembali ke rahmatullah. jenazah di rumah lembah keramat".
confirmed - aris has passed away.


11:00pm - sherry and i made move to aris's house. he was there... lying breathless. gosh! this can't be true... then i met my maklong nor who happen to be aris's neighbour.
"mak dia kol dia dari pagi. tapi tak berangkat. mak dia kata dia demam dari semalam (friday). dia kata nak pegi klinik pagi ni. dah petang tu, mak dia kol maklong suruh tengokkan rumah dia. best friend dia pecahkan bilik dia dari umah neigbour sebelah ni sebab all doors locked. tengok dia dah takde dah. paramedic kata dah about 4 hours he passed away. mak dia still kat tanjung malim ni. maklong tanak break the news lah. better if she comes and things reveal itself"
oh! poor aris.... aris's body was taken away by the police for post-mortem. i still can't believe it's true...

24-02-08

i decided to skip my afternoon class. thanks mr ter. rushed back home then to aris's house. myself, sherry, made & adam were the last to pay respect to arwah aris. i broke down and cried. yesterday, i couldn't recall anything about aris. not even how he looks like. and today, i just cant believe i've lost a friend. a dear friend. i attended the funeral. i cried. i paid my respect. and i'll miss aris.

aris has been a very dear friend. we became friends when i moved into sklk, about 19 years ago. he's a jovial person, talk big sometimes, but always keep friends at heart. he has been talking and planning about reunion. but it has not become reality but on his funeral. aris, your dream has come true, finally....

alfatihah

mohd aris syah bin mohd kaus tajuin
04.04.78 - 23.02.08
cause of death: meningitis
** pic taken from his friendster **

whats up yo?!

been long enuff kan? not lazy, not buzy, ideas come and go. but no urge to jot things down la.. so here are my list of updates...

1) went back to krai for CNY together with kak ti's & abe ajih's family. traffic was bad from gombak. but at ease soon after we reached bentong (was it, yang?). adam had joy playing with kakak hannah, abg ish & imran. next day had a makan-makan trip to kota bharu. 1st to kak nik's place for the daughter's wedding. kenduri hari jumaat, semacam je rasa. hehehe.. then to aunty zainah's place. then another eating session at ku & chek's place. then headed to kak nik je's house to pick up my murtabak diraja. (info: murtabak diraja is just like the normal murtabak that we saw in pasar malam or pasar ramadhan, but this one is quite thick. about 6cm?) then to kak ah's house to rest a bit and we split out with abe ajih & kak ti. they went to another majlis in pasar puteh whilst we headed down back to krai. on the way, singgah makan umah abg man. majlis sempena meraikan pemergian mek ye ke australia. reached home, adam demam. mama start batuk. went to search for clinic, all closed due to CNY. anyway, nothing much in bandar krai after 8pm. just like shah alam in 1990s. by 8pm dah macam dead city. the next day, packed up and made our move to kuantan. we left at about 1, reached kuala terengganu at about 4. a&w was packed with people so we marched down to kak ting's place. from there we drove to kuantan. 40 minutes atas jambatan dekat masjid terapung. tak tau pasal apa. masuk jalan ke kuala berang, sampai kuantan at about 10pm. reached keramat at about 2.54am. giler ngantuk & penat! in short, we spent our holiday in krai this time around by travelling and eating out..

2) celebrated mak & bapak's 32nd wedding anniversary in cozy corner, great eastern mall. cozy corner ampang park used to be our "grand" dine-in place. last time i used to feel jadik org kaya by having their chicken chop with gravy & fresh orange in. hehehe... full pack of people, so takde lah nak berlama-lama sangat. lagipun kami bertiga dah memang lama kat situ sebab tunggu yg lain sampai. :P before that sherry and i went to ichiban moshi in pavillion. giler best punya sushi outing... kena makan lagi.

3) brought adam for some mandi-manda at kak na's place in pj. adam showed his "berenang-tak-basah-kepala" and "berenang-dengan-hanya-bend-kaki" skills. makan2. turun bawah tengok keta kena clamped. hampehhh.. thanks to kak aishah & her singaporean kiasu. we managed to get them opened the clamps without having to pay the RM50 fees. hehehehehe

what else eh...

4) our project on "burp" had to be called off. sedehhh.... apparently, the two chefs will not be available for the project any longer. well... actually the first chef je.. tapi takan sorang je nak masak kan? mana larat.. so, dengan rasa keciwa, we wish to inform that we will not be doing the food delivery service. we still have hope that the "burp" project will, insya Allah, be a reality.

5) i had an appointment with dr. alex matthews of gleneagles the other day. he's a gynae. 2 news from the doc. good one, my female internal organs are in a perfecto condition. bad news, he can't seem to determine why am i having pain before & after my menses. few doctors thought it got to do with my appendices. but i have removed my appendices few years ago. even before i got married. so in conclusion, they can only say the pain was probably due to the scar & addition collic (colleague? kolik? ntah tak retilah nak eja...) from adam's delivery. disturbing news ain't it? it's like telling me "well madam, please get pregnant if you wish, but you're in a life-death situation". ok.. some may not understand... during adam's delivery, i had some complications - womb tear - across the muscle, O2 low, nicu for 2 days, failure of epidural & spinal, was advised to get preggy after 2-3 years, blood patch, stupid tukang urut whom after 3 days asked me "what is caesarean?". so my deary friends, please dont ask me "bila adam nak dapat adik?" we (as made & myself) had a discussion and we thought, perhaps adam is enuff for us. when we thought that's the best solution we could think off, we could see, adam needs a buddy.. he hasn't been asking, but the brotherly attitude that he shows towards ammar says it all. oh! it's hard and i'm helpless :(

precious life

one, i've enrolled into certificate in human resource management studies for a period of 6 months. it was a last minute decision. kufee had informed me weeks earlier but i was not so into it. i know it's my chance for career development & enhancement. but somehow, i was not quite sure. neither that i had a thought of informing my boss about it. reason being, if i were to tell my boss, would she consider me as a "too ambitious" little lady? would she be expecting more from me? would my studies be of a favour to the department? uh! eventually, i did informed her. my boss was so supportive. and i have even had my first lecture on EPF withdrawal from her. her piece of advice "do not withdraw from your EPF. that's your savings when you have reached 56 and of no one's service except for yourself & family. tak baca policy ka? apply for subsidy/study loan la" ngehngehngeh.. for this period of time, gua sayang giler sama gua punya bos :D and so i went for my class. today was my 2nd class. entertaining! my only hope is that i wont go blank on exams day. i last sat for exam was about 8 years ago. gosh! i forsee, the first term is pretty interesting. come 2nd term, sure sangap tahap dewa dewi punyalah. employment act, industrial relations, etc. tang akta-akta ni sure mph my brain sengal. nak ingat kes pulak nanti tetiba hard disk memory crash. aduhhh! mintak jauhlah.. my precious life note: must keep going!

two, i was on leave on friday and brought adam for some jalan2 cuci mata in avenue k & klcc. we were in the toys'r'us when i heard the news on the death of the MIC's-whoever-he-was and some updates on the missing sharlinie. at that point, i quickly grabbed adam. i was so intimidated! i wanted to request for an escort to the parking, but i had this contemplating feeling. "would the guard send me safely to my car?", "would he harm me?". with the whole series of killing, raping, abducting here and there, i have become extra cautious of my surrounding. and i have somehow developed suspicious feeling & thought of not to trust anybody. not even the security people. i have doubt in them. i have become more penakut & paranoid after reading the saturday's newspaper!! oh gosh! whats more to come? that nite, i couldnt sleep. i had adam on my right hand, i held made firmly on my left. i had fear of losing. of any circumstances, i dont know how would i go thru the situation. touchwood!!! please dont let it be me! my precious life note: life goes on!

three, both made and me went for iskl's mid year party to celebrate the 1500 students placements' achievement in renaissance hotel. hurrah!! we left pretty early and headed to klcc for an intimate shopping trip hehehe.. then we went to meet my smlk's friends. they had a gathering to discuss on the reunion. i am so looking forward for the reunion. uh! i hope to slim down before the day. hehehe.. it was nice to meet with friends that have been away for more than 10 years. my precious life note: nostalgia!

four, made is pretty tight with his new job. kesian dia :( i'm still in stage of understanding his work requirements. balik lambat. business trips. updating systems. notes here and there. talking to oneself. calls from team members. presentation materials. uh! i've never seen my darling being soooo occupied with his works! i wish the best for him! i wish the best for his bonus this year. boleh gi shopping lagi. hahahahaha.. my precious life note: motivation = needs!

five, finally on adam. hehehe.. alhamdulillah.. adam has been able to cope with mama & ayah's request. no puting sighted. but both of us knew he still curik2 isap puting. tak pelah.. i can't put hard time on him. he needs some times oso. right? whenever we see him into his room or in his little khemah or he asks us to be away for a while, we know lah.. that's his private time. first few days was pretty hard. nak tido, mengaruk la sikit. bagai pungguk rindukan bulan anak mek sorang ni. ngehngehngeh.. my precious life note: puting is addictive! say tak nak to puting. hahahaha

tough nite

it has been a tough nite for me, made and adam. both me and made are trying very hard to get rid of adam's habit - nyonyot puting.

our little treasure is turning 4 this year. we think, it's time that adam put off that habit.

we have actually went into battles with adam:

1. we told him to leave the puting if he wants to watch tv - failed. it's either mama or ayah is too bz with the computers and didn't realize this young guy is enjoying his puting. bad parenting :(
   
2. we told him that he will get his toys if he willingly put the puting away - failed. we love buying toys for adam. seeing him enjoying his toys makes us on the top of the world (tho i know the toys either wont last, or he woulnd't be bothered about it after a day or two)
   
3. we told him that puting is only for him to sleep - failed. everytime also "mama, saya nak tido", :P there was one time that he actually sneaked into my room and came out after 5 minutes. the 2nd time he did it, i saw him nyonyot puting. alahai kesiannye.. purposely went into the room to have some private time with his puting
   
4. we hide the puting from his view - failed. somehow or rather, either mama or ayah will kesian tengok anak takde puting
5. we let him play, enjoy the tv, and do whatever he wants to do as long as he doesn't ask for puting - failed. whenever we were out of sight, he'll grab the puting
6. we made him tired by playing, do whatever he wants to do so that he could fall asleep easily - failed. in the middle of the nite, he'll ask for puting

we've lost the battles. so tonite, we decided to go into war.

we told him not to take the puting, not to think of the puting. uh.. being a psycho is so tough! we even showed him picture of "mr. os". ** ampunlah.... mintak ampun banyak2. niat kami suci murni ** then he fall asleep. we were glad. 10 minutes after, he woke up and started asking for puting. i put him on bed. he was crying hard. we tried being psycho once again and told him that puting is not good. and we asked him "adam sayang mama tak?" not a nod. "adam sayang ayah tak?" also not a nod. bad sign. "adam sayang sapa?" "puting" adooooohai....

we then drastically decided that if he chose puting, then he has to sleep alone in his room. need not to guess. he chose to be with his puting in his room. so we left him there. we switched off all the lights and we closed our door. but we were actually waiting for him in the hall - ayah and mama to the rescue la kononnya. he didn't cry at first. then after a while, we heard him sobbing - very hard! we rushed in and ayah told him to let go his puting if he wants to sleep with mama and ayah. and he finally said yes.

phew! what a nite. now he's fully awake after the hard times mama and ayah gave him. hahahaha..

i hope, adam will say bye-bye to his little (but many) puting
and i hope maknek will help us out a bit
with extra lil' hope that nenek wont be saying "ha.. bagi puting dia. mana puting dia? dia nak puting lah tu.."

nitey-nite

"super adam to the rescue"

post note: as i was typing this post, adam was on his bed, behind me. when i turned to him, we was with his puting. he quickly put it away and said "takde. takde apa2 pun" and left. alahai.. ciannye anak mama.

aiseymen......

tangan ni gatal

browse internet

jumpa gamba ni

aiseymen

camne nak tido ni...

ngehngehngeh

Flixster - Share Movies

Flixster - Share Movies

Flixster - Share Movies

Flixster - Share Movies

op.... sat-sat.. bunyik pulak hp ni... eh eh.. cam tau je org tengah tengok gamba dia...

Flixster - Share Movies

okie dokie. nitey-nite. lena la mek tidoq malam ni :D

i did it my way!

and now, the end is near
and so i face, the final curtain
my friend, i'll say it clear
i'll state my case, of which i'm certain
i've lived, a life that's full
i've traveled each and every highway
and more, much more than this
i did my way

regrets, i've had a few
but then again, too few to mention
i did, what i had to do
and saw it through without exemption
i planned, each charted course
each careful step along the byway
and more, much more than this
i did i my way

yes! there were times
i'm sure you knew
when i bit off more than i could chew
but through it all when there was doubt
i ate it up and spit it out
i faced it all and i stood tall
and did it my way

i've loved, i've laughed and cried
i've had my fill, my share of losing
and now, as tears subside
i find it all so amusing
to think i did all that
and i may say not in a shy way
"oh no! oh no! not me, i did my way!

for what is a man
what has he got
if not himself, then he has naught
to say the thing he truly feels
andn ot the words of one who kneels
the record shows i took the blows
and DID IT MY WAY!

***

my dearie friends,

i'm truly sorry for some confuse posts i had for the past few days. at first i was in that stage myself, but then some best buddies had made it clear for me. thanks

julie, as far as i'm agreeable to what u've mention, i think it's all depends on one's character themselves. i have a friend, whom has been with me since i was 10, and we had wonderful years growing up together. and indeed, we quarreled, didn't get along in some matters, but she's still by my side when i need her the most. and her mom cooks nice soto :) yes ayu, u know who u are to me :D besides that, i have geena, dee, awa and some others. er... nazim should not fall into any categories ok? ngehngehngeh

we fight, we quarrel, we have crossed into each others' path for some reasons. that's human. that makes a friend, special. **i'm trying hard not to talk craps here, tho my mind has some bad points to note down*** i'm a bull horse. i'm a determined person and stubborn. i know myself. big headed with big dreams. but i'm a bull that dare to face the reality. that will mellow down when the time has come to forgive and forget. that doesn't count any pennies for what she has paid. and will stumble when she falls. i guess only my "friends" will know who i am, how i thought and definitely who am i to them. i'm blessed that in december, i met a friend from my primary school, a friend from my secondary school and also a dearie friend of my itm team. and i'm glad that the bounding are still intact!

i went for a hair cut today. mudahan buang suwei yg ada :P

i wish for a great year ahead
i wish for a better me
i wish for a toyota wish (eh.. boleh gitu che nani?) hahahaha

HAPPY NEW YEAR FRIENDS!

ngok ngek pala kemek

i've expected (again)

couldn't be bother

ego + stupidity = arrogant

lantak sama kamu

tidak kuasa mahu melayan

doakan yg baik2 aja

"a great year ahead"

insya Allah

** thinking again, hati masih sayang. tapi dalam kepala masing2 ada batu, itu pasal la laga2 takde pecah. the best? buat bodo je la.. go with the flow **

*** kak nomi, confius lagi? hahahaha.. ini macam typical lawan surat cinta la. but this one is electronically. canggih siket ler. when two heads collide, satu jadik ngok, satu jadi ngek. dua2 pun pala kemek. hahahaha ***