Tuesday, August 29, 2006

ma (II)

gastrointestinal stromal tumors - "GISTs" is a rare kind of cancer. and that's what doc said about ma. yesterday they pushed ma to OT to have sample. but upon returned to ward, ma was still bleeding. docs were in and out. one in, then came another one. one out, two in. one running to nurse counter, the another one came rushing. and ma was on her way back to OT.

abe cha sms late nite saying ma's wound couldnt be stitched. and they had to glue it (well i dont know. glue seems not to be the rite word..) and ma had to be sedated and placed in ICU.

this morning mak called from penang. bp ma low, still sedated and on ventilator.

now che made is in HKL. waiting for news. and i'm here waiting for his call.

please pray for ma...

Friday, August 25, 2006

surat untuk uwan

assalamualaikum uwan,

kita tulis lagi ni. uwan apa kabo? sorrylah uwan. minggu ni kita cuti. kita tak dapat nak kasik uwan hadiah malam semalam. sorry ye..

apa kita nak update uwan eh.. ayah baru meninggal. dah masuk sebulan la. heart attack. kita tak sempat jumpa ayah. ntahlah uwan. nak kata ralat tak jugak. pikirkan ayah pegi senang aje, senang jugak ati ni rasanya. tapi mungkin sebab kita tak dapat manja ngan ayah lagi kan.. kita rasa sedih jugak uwan.. ayah kan uwan.. dia kalo cakap ngan kita suara dia gelak2. tapi bila dia lafaz "assalamualaikum" serius uwan.. macam kita dengar ucapan YB2 tu la.. hehehe.. alamak.. kita dah start rindu ayah. ye la uwan.. dah sebulan ni, terasa jugak kehilangan ayah. macam uwan jugaklah.. bila dah duk sorang2 mula la layan perasaan.

ma pun skang tak berapa sihat. ma still kat hospital. doc nak wat biopsy. biopsy apa? ntah.. kita nak cite ngan uwan pun kita tak tau. hahaha.. doc kata ma ada GISTs. adik beradik cancer jugalah uwan. cumanya cancer ma ni, jarang2 org dapat. sekarang macam2 uwan..

hari rabu lepas tok usu meninggal. bapak talipon. kita balik ngan made je. mak uteh & pak uda tak de. tak dapat datang. kita jumpala ramai sedara. tapi kan uwan.. banyak yg kita tak tau nama. malu kita. kalo uwan ada, mesti kita dah nempek tepi uwan. dapat tangkap satu nama pun jadiklah.. maklong yati pun tak ingat kita uwan.. sedihnya...

kita tengok sumer org kat situ, kita terkenang kat uwan. kalo uwan ada mesti uwan pun sibuk sama kan? time kita datang org tengah potong daun pandan. kita sempatlah jengah tok usu kat atas umah. maklong yati peluk tok usu kuat. sampai kena tegur ngan pakcik kat situ. poksu mami tanak cium tok usu. dia asik nangis je. opah usu lagilah uwan.. cite ngan kita pun asik mengalir je air mata. opah usu je yg ngadap tok usu. alhamdulillah opah usu kata tok usu dapat mengucap beberapa kali.

hari ni pulak kita dapat berita 2 org meninggal lagi uwan.. ma punya akak ipar dengan lecturer kita kat itm. akak ma tu memang sakit tua. lecturer kita tu dia kena breast cancer. cancer lagi uwan kan? ntahla..

time kat tanjung malim tu sempatlah jugak jumpa faizah. dia dah dapat baby. mohd noor hidayat. itulah nama, itulah panggilnya. berbelit lidah nak panggil. hehehe

nek mah jemput ke umah dia minggu depan. anak cik nani kawin. cik nani tu yg mana pun kita tak kenal uwan. nek mah datang umah jemput sendiri. kita cam segan pulak kalo kita tak pegi kan uwan..

nole pun dah kawin wan. minggu lepas. tapi kita tak stay sampai hari kat umah maklong. kita gi umah lia je. kita ada jemputan lain hari ahad tu. berhabislah maklong bela umahlah itulah inilah. amirul jadi tukang buat pelamin. cantik uwan.... kaler hijau lagi. maklong cium kita banyak kali. ntah kenapa ntah.. asal nampak muka kita dia salam. dia cium. peh tu dia nangis. tak taulah napa uwan. agaknya dia rindu kita kotnye kan? hehehe..

bulan ramadhan dah dekat uwan. kita tak dapat lagi rasa kuih uwan. dah 3 tahun kita tak makan sambal bilis uwan. kita buat sendiri tak sedap. bahulu jangan kata la.. memang kita fel. bila kita mengadap roti jala, kita tak boleh nak makan. kita terkenang roti jala yg uwan selalu buat untuk kita. roti jala diaorang ni lain uwan. tak sesedap air tangan uwan.

uwan.. kita rindu uwan. kita rindu nak peluk uwan. kita rindu nak gurau2, tolak2 uwan. bila kita tengok wan chik, kita teringat uwan. tengok opah usu, kita ingat uwan. sampaikan maklong (paklong shukur) pun ada cakap kat kita, "uwan kamu tak ada susah aku nak kenal kalian". betul uwan. selalunya apa2 berita semuanya daripada uwan. org meninggal, org kawin, org sakit. sumenya uwan yg kasitau. sumenya uwan yg talipon. skang ni apa2 berita pun, kami dapat lambatlah.. kadang2 tak tau berita apa2 langsung. sedih pun ada.. malu pun ada jugak uwan...

air mata ni sama lebat dengan ujan kat luar tu uwan. kita tak patut nangis kan? kita patut sedekahkan al-fatihah kat uwan. tapi kita rindu sangat2 kat uwan. rindu yg amat sangat.. kita nak peluk uwan. nak peluk uwan kuat2. nak cium uwan banyak2. tapi kita tak ada uwan. kita ada gambar uwan je. kita ada kenangan ngan uwan je...

oklah uwan. nanti kita tulis lagi. dah tak nampak skrin dah. berkabur je cemin mata ni pun. nanti kita tulis lagi ye uwan. jaga diri baik2. ingat ye.. kita sayang uwan. sampai bila2 pun kita sayang uwan...

Friday, August 18, 2006

this week

yesterday was my daling's birthday. donno what to get him. so i bought him a pic frame. i wanted to place a pic of myself & adam. but till the end, i couldnt find an interesting one. and i think he likes it. that's why he just put the card & the frame on the table. hahahaha.. put it somewhere la yayang.. cam tak appreciate i beli je tauuuuu

sherry (+ baby in the tummy), abg mirul, iskandar, bapak & big joe dropped by for dinner yesterday. nasik, tomyam & telur - the normal menu. my daling teman ma kat HKL. lucky me adam tak buat hal sangat. adala sikit cranky tengah malam tu, tapi things under control. sedar2 je my daling dah balik. and it was 5:30am. huh...

i received a text from akut last nite. i was pretty worried for her non-reply. and i pity her boyfriend for that reason. hehe.. hope things settled already :)

tomorrow we'll be in segamat for my cousin's wedding. then on sunday we'll be going to johan's wedding. first time i'm invited for a wedding ceremony that only last for 2 hours. starts at 12 and finishes at 2. pelik... we'll head to great eastern mall for bob the builder apperance. then petang sikit lagi head to abg cha's place for su-na's engagement ceremony.

perghh.. penatnya bulan kemerdekaan ni. asik berjalan je... end of the month balik kelantan. jalan lagi.. huhuhu...

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

trust

according to webster's new world pocket dictionary 3rd edition, trust means belief in the honesty, reliability. and simple word: believe

at the time or typing/writing, i've lost my trust on my neighbour, ms r.

i know there's time when u dont feel like going to work and u start to crample in ur bed trying to figure out a reason to have an mc. myself also like that. but not to the extend bohong sunat jadik bohong tak menjadik la kan.

1st incident, she took mc for 2 days. the first day, another colleague of mine met her loitering around in klcc. that's stupid thing to do la kan. u know u're on medical leave, nak loiter pun cariklah tempat yg jauh daripada office. apara.. that's one thing..

then came this incident. one wednesday morning, she text'ed me "i EL. kena balik ipoh. ayah panggil balik. family matters".

and i went "what????!!!! on wednesday? oh.. the father maybe jatuh sakit. or maybe it's really urgent matter. life vs death. fine" and at the same time, i had thinking like "takanlah ayah dia tak pikir anak dia keje. nak panggil balik pun hari rabu. tengah2 minggu. travel lagi apa lagi. then sabtu nak balik lagi sekali.." u know.. dolu2 kala yes la. some parents just dont care what the kids are doing. when-i-say-come-back-u-have-to-come-back thingy.. but nowadays parents are more tolerable. rite?

so the next morning, i asked her what had happened. she didnt opened her mouth but for "it's a family matters thingy la kak". ok.. fine.... fine with me.. but that's not until i saw in her diary "CHENTA'S birthday". hampeh minah ni.. nak celebrate birthday loved one pun sampai nak menipu. so that started the budak-ni-tak-boleh-percaya feeling.

that incident happened last week. the same weekend, she went home to ipoh. she said to continue the "family matters" incident. and monday she was on leave. tuesday, when i walked in, she was looking sick.

"kenapa ni?"
"ntahlah. rasa tak sihatlah... nak pegi klinik sat ye"

off she went. came back with some medications, which i dont know she took it or not. she told me she was having gastritis. buttttttttt... she could do photocopying thingy for more than 10 minutes. she could sit at the place until the end of the day. whooaaaaa.. if i were to have gastritis, i couldnt even sit up straight. what more with standing... but then again, an angel side of me were thinking, she mite have eaten her medication and recovered.

and this morning, i received a text read as "i'm on mc today. fever & gastric pain".. that's it la. confirmed she's not in my trustworthy person's list. me too have gastritis. but once u've taken the medication, had the burp, troot, prot or whatever the sounds like, it's gone. should be ok. should be fine. ini memang dah maleh nak keje la ni.. and worst thing still, i have to back her up. bloerghhh

tak pe.. tak pe... aiman tak kisahhhhh

Monday, August 14, 2006

taxi drivers

i've had flying colours experience with taxi drivers lately.

taxi 1, malay
situation: visit che nani & ammar

taxi driver: saya selalu pesan sama anak2 saya jangan lawan balik kalo ada org kacau. biarkan saja org buat kita. jangan kita buat org. saya cukup risau dengan budak2 sekolah zaman sekarang ni. takut saya kalau anak2 saya nanti org tunggu tepi jalan, kena buli, kena belasah. takut saya.... mintak dijauhkan la.

myself: tula.. budak sekarang budak dulu lain...

moral of the story: jaga anak kita baik2


*****
taxi 2, indian
situation: back from visiting che nani & ammar
taxi driver: saya sudah biasa bawak laju la kakak. lagi satu ini meter pun sudah biasa kakak. itu hari saya bawak isteri saya pegi shopping saya pigi tekan ini meter sampai bini saya cakap "sama bini pun mau pasang meter ka?" ayo.. susahlah kakak. saya sudah biasa, org naik teksi, saya tekan ini meter
myself: hahaha.. apa macam la u.. isteri pun u mau charge
moral of the story: practice make perfect
*****
taxi 3, malay, talking london
situation: visit ma
taxi driver: u working in klcc? i built klcc. but until now i'm not in klcc. u work for oil & gas company? i have an offer working in refinery plant. i built the refinery plant in melaka. u know this guy? (showed me a business card... macamlah aku kenal serata org dalam donia ni kan..) i still dont know if i want to work with him
myself: i want to go to the main building ya?
taxi driver: i dont know where's the main building
myself: ok. it's further up. here's the neuro dept. where the mental illnesses people are here.. heheh
taxi driver: yes. i was here before.
myself (dalam hati): ya Allah ya tuhanku, selamatkanlah hambaMu ini.......
moral of the story: berhati2 ketika memilih taxi
*****
taxi 4, malay
situation: balik visit ma
taxi driver: (all the way to klcc, silent saja... tenang rasa) nak turun di mana ya?
myself: di menara 2
taxi driver: di sana ya? (sambil menunjuk ke arah menara 2 menggunakan ibu jarinya)
myself: ya. terima kasih
moral of the story: budi bahasa budaya kita
*****
taxi 5, chinese
situation: visit ma
myself: uncle mau ikut jalan mana?
taxi driver: jalan tun razak
- silent. but along the way but i had to listen to an interview between these 2 ladies in mandarin. *sigh* -
moral of the story: learn other languanges.
*****
taxi 6, malay, indonesian
situation: back from visiting ma
taxi driver: kerja di sini ka?
myself: tak. lawat mak mertua
taxi driver: alah.. kalau setakat sakit lutut, kurang air di lutut tu tak payahlah bawa ke hospital. ubati sajalah di rumah. (then baru dia nak tanya:) sakit apa ibunya?
myself: tak pasti lagi. tapi katanya cancer
taxi driver: subhanallah.. itulah. jangan salahkan org lain. salahkan kerajaan. air yg kita minum tu bukannya bersih. saya ke ulu yam kalau mau mengambil air. tapi sekarang sudah ramai org. yada yada yada.. org kita ya bukannya tak ada kerja. tapi malas. saya ni, buat 2 kerja. saya bawa bas rapid kl dan saya bawa teksi. janji ada keringat. jalanla kerjanya. yada yada yada... manusia ni tak pernah cukup. macam di kampung saya ya, ada 1 emas tanah, mau 2 emas. ada 2 emas mau 3 emas. tidak pernah cukup. tunggulah nanti dia di liang lahad barulah cukup dirinya mungkin. pakcik saya seorang ya alim, kuat agama ya. dia kalau anak2nya tidak sembahyang dia hanya kata "mau mati atau mau hidup". cakapnya tidak banyak. tapi ya.. buat insaf. maaf ya. saya ini joyah sedikit. gurau2 tak apa ya..
myself: tak apa. terima kasih banyak2
moral of the story: i-n-s-a-f
those are the times i spent with taxi drivers within these 2 months. beautiful characters within human beings... indah sungguh ciptaan Ya Maha Esa..

Friday, August 11, 2006

ma

ma's case has been transferred to HKL. alhamdulillah. the least that my family & i could do the get rid the riddles of what's wrong with ma's health condition.

last monday i went to visit ma with adam & bapak. since i was so sleepy, i had to drag bapak along. nanti i bawak keta hoyong hayang pulak. sampai je wad 14 i saw somebody who looks just like ayah. dengan baju batik feveret ayah. cemin mata besar. pakai kopiah. height. body structure. memang sebijik ayah. berdegup kejap jantung ni.

"rasanya adik beradik ayah dah takde semuanya" - myself talking.
"dia dah nak pindah bilik ni", he showed the room infront of him
"aaaa.. tima kasih"

i rushed into ma's room.

"kak na, sapa tu?"
"makcik depan ni punya husband"
"oh! sebijik ayah....."

hehehehehe.. gelabah je i ni.

it has been a week now. after ding-dong here and there, ma finally got the attention. ma sakit about the same time ngan ayah. asik sakit perut. peh tu macam kena diarrhea. like ayah, ma also has been up and down hospital krai & kb. for about a year, still they cant conclude ma sakit apa.

yesterday che made brought home a news. ma probably a big "C" patient. tears run fast as i recited yassin. besarnya dugaan Allah swt.

rasa macam baru semalam ma pegang pipi i
rasa macam baru semalam makan sambal yg ma buatkan
rasa macam baru semalam ma jamu mee maggi dengan air milo
rasa macam baru semalam ma bersembang dengan i
rasa macam baru semalam ayah pegi tinggalkan kami

and today i have to embrace dugaan Allah once again.....

i doakan ma sihat
i doakan selamat segalanya
i doakan kesejahteraan ma

amin....

*kadang2 kita tak sedar kehadirannya sampailah tiba kehilangannya*

Thursday, August 10, 2006

dangdut is the music of my country

lawak sehhhhhh

dangdut is the music of my country

sorry la.. i tried to embed the video clip here but then failed. click on the above link & selamat terhibur ya!!!

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

oh cik siti!!!

nak kawin tu kawin jela.... janganlah nak tutup jalan la apa la.. bikin susah la.... gua pegi mau keje pun susah, balik keje pun susah la....

kawin jela kat stadium bukit jalil ke stadium merdeka ke stadium negara ke.. kan ke lagi senang.... dewan pun besar. nak berdiri, nak duduk, nak berlunjur? ha.. sume boleh.. jangan kata keta kuda, nak bawak keta kebal pun bole..

dduuuuhhhhhhhh.......

ni bukan nak bersederhana lagi dah ni.. melampau (+ menyusahkan) yg sebenarnya ni.....