Friday, August 29, 2008


at this age; today, a friend told me that she felt lost in her life. she's indecisive. she's unable to determine what's best has she given, what's worst has she done. she's eager to elaborate her talents and her desires, but she remains silent when asked on her future. she's neither happy on her monetary ground nor her work environment. she's blessed with kids & loving husband. she's my best buddy. to which i told that life will treat her fine, that i'd help her as much as i could and that i told to hang on tough...

at this age; today, a friend told me that she wants to be alone and far from her husband. she knows what she wants but she's afraid of her own strength. she wants to be loved and she's lovable. she's nice but was not treated fairly. she's blessed with lovely kids and surrounded by highly-supportive friends. she's also my best buddy. to which i told to stand firm on the ground and go through the obstacles with her own strength. and to which i promise that i'd stand tall behind her...

at this age; today, some friends told me that they are not happy about their working life. increments are not given, bonuses are not granted. they are asked to assist elsewhere and not given proper benefits. they are bound with terms and conditions and they want to move ahead. they are lovely friends who would be a group of bitches when the target is right and also a team of angels in a split second. they are all my buddies. to which i offer some experiences in working life and some "uh", "ah", "oh", "stoopid" and "idiot".

at this age; today, i look at my friends and realize that they are all i want. they are all i have. i'm happy for what i have. i am thankful for what i have been given. their shoulders carry all the burden and my shoulder is only for them to cry on. my eyes are only to see how they could smile nicely but deep inside they are crying out loud. their minds are thinking hard on how to keep life going especially for their little treasures. my ears are hearing the cheering laugh and some sighs in some statements. i said i understand but i am not able to exactly feel my own understanding. i said i want to help but my assistance somehow with boundaries. i said i would be there for them but in reality, it's more than me that they need.

i'm neither a good buddy.

here i am, before this pc. with my hands typing letters and phrases on my friends. thinking of what they have told me. thinking of what i have been telling them. thinking of what future could offer and what past has put on ground.

and i felt............ empty.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

fever bz

i've been bz. yup! a bz bee. and now i'm down with hi-fever.

the month of august has put me behind my own bars. i was unable to blog as by the time i came home, i felt totally exhausted. i was unable to be online with YM as my server was a little cranky and that my boss has full view to my pc. it faces her. i blame the new office renovation. stoopid!

i was on sick leave on the very first day of the new school year. then i was in jb for liz's sister's wedding. the next weekend i was in alor gajah for anem's wedding. and last week i was in dong, pahang for another relative's wedding. returned from pahang, hi-fever till now.

yesterday i went to gleneagles, as my temperature has reached 38. i was asked to rest in the observation bay and had to wait for blood count result. alhamdulillah.. takde apa. and they charged rm43 for a 15 minutes rest in the observation bay. panadol dua bijik, 50 sen. air milo secawan 70 sen. pandainya buat duit. tak pe.. nanti i claim. heheheh

nothing much to update. made dah dapat bonus. alhamdulillah.. no, he's not going to pay for my credit card this time around (hehehe). he's going to put it aside for adam's school fees - next year. my son is turning 5. woohooo.. dah besar anak mama. i'm going to get my first festival bonus some time next month. me and made has bought one thing each from each bonuses - for the house. alhamdulillah.. rezeki dari Allah, insya Allah, berkat doa mak ayah, adik-beradik, sedara-mara, kawan-kawan. :D