i'm all alone

alone in the room
i'm hoping for someone would ask me what had happened?
but instead, i got a query "what turn u up? makcik told me u're angry at her?"
listening to that makcik is more important than listening to somebody living with u
i pressume...

alone with mix feeling
i'm hoping for somebody to hold me firmly and assure that everything will be alrite
but instead, it was mak who kept asking me what had happened?
assuming...
being in her womb for 9 months could lead her to predict something went wrong

alone with myself
i'm hoping somebody would want to spare a little minute to put me into comfortable zone
but instead, all i heard was snore that last for hours
recovering the sleep over the football game that morning is far important than being a shoulder to cry
i'd say...

i feel thankful that my boss could spend some of his busy time to listen to me
i feel blessed to have friends whom would travel just to be by my side
i feel relieved to have buddies who have time reading my ym, googletalk & emails
i feel even better when mak showed me her concern

i'm hoping for somebody that would lend me some minutes of his precious time
i'm hoping for somebody that would share this tears
i'm hoping for somebody that would comfort me and assure me that e'thing would be ok
i'm hoping for somebody that would be there when i need them

i guess it's just too much to ask...

bad girl

off late, i asik teringat uwan, atuk & ayah. and this morning i dreamt about ayah

maybe i miss them so much
or
maybe i've been carried away with my day-to-day thingy and i havent spend time reciting yasin for them

i think the latter suits me better

i'm bad!

my daling... i wrote a letter for u

kehadapan suamiku yg dicintai,

aku amat menyayangimu seluruh hatiku
cintaku ini bagai tiada tandingannya
kasihku ini tiada tolok gantinya
sayangku ini tiada galang pemisah

luhur cintaku sesuci cinta taj mahal
lahar kasihku umpama api yg marak membakar
salju sayangku umpama embun pagi

tiada lebih yang ku pinta..

hanyalah tulus kasihmu
hanyalah ikhlas cintamu
hanyalah utuh sayangmu
dan
hanyalah approval untuk membeli kain di euro moda untuk membuat baju dinner ku..


ps: tak mahal yang..... rm475.95 sen je.. ::wink:: ::wink::

gambar ehsan: laman web

quality time?

a friend emailed me her prob with her son - standard 2. first in the sibling. didn't finished his homework given by the teacher. didn't submit his artwork for his exam. now: mother giving some more chance for the boy to improve . will he? time will tell.. "bringing up a kid is not an easy matter" - her mother said. which i think true. so true. sebab itu gulai mak lagi sedap dari gulai kita... got what i mean? org tua makan garam lebih - garam - gulai.. got what i mean? ha...

then, during my breakfast yesterday, a friend came and told me about his son. 2 years younger than me. first in the sibling. frequently change job. now: father don't know what to do. he told me that he has done all the talking. all he could to make the child realize about his future. but still, the son hasn't changed. he also doesnt know what he has done wrong. all the other daughters are all OK. but what happen to this one?

i personally recall what bapak told me earlier. the quality time between parents & children. the time that father & mother spend with their kids. personally, i dont have all the time with my bapak & mak. mak sibuk kerja. bapak also. but still, they will come back on time. they will come back during lunch break on friday - maybe to make sure we dont ponteng sekolah. duh.. why didnt i think about it earlier eh.. but indeed, they were there. they will bring us jalan2. if in the morning kena marah, petang boleh pegi ampang park. a way to pujuk us up. i remember bapak was garang. we all kena pukul. cubit. itu mesti. and for this, i envy my little sister. michelin di badannya jarang sekali (can i say none?) dikenakan cubitan manja bapakku yg garang itu. yelah.. dia budak yg baik. ceh.. konon.. hahaha. but i think akut got all the privilege because bapak has moved into his maturity stage. number of his age has changed. so selamatla ko kuttttt.. and myself is now like bapak in his early parenthood. my mood masih main jongkang jongket. hence adam will kena some times..

myself working. so does my husband. thus adam has to be sent to a baby sitter. i realize i spend more time facing my computer than facing my adorable adam. and that's the reason why i punch out on time. the answer to why i wanted to fetch adam the soonest possible. i'm bound to work for 8 hours. 24 minus 8 would be 16. 8 hours sleeping, left me with another 8 hours. and the precious 8 hours sometimes flies in split second. adam with his toys. me with houseworks. and sometimes 1 or 2 hours for good axn series. could there any quality time with adam? i reckon.. i really dont know if adam had some quality time with me. and i dont know if i've given enuff to adam.

i believe guiding the kids should be a responsible held by both mother and father. the parents in actual term. tepuk sebelah tangan takkan berbunyi. kalau tepuk beramai2 barulah meriah bunyinya. kids need peers. need somebody to hold the hand and walk with them. together. along the way. they need somebody to rely on. to talk to. to say yes and no to what they are doing. to tell them what to do and open options for them to choose. not a dictator. quoted from a friend "bukan mengarah, tapi mengajak. bukan menyuruh, tapi menjemput".

sometimes thinking about adam, i have some butterflies flying freely in my stomach. adam's world would be totally different from ours, the parents. my hubby was raised differently from myself. and so different from me. later, would adam be as good as his father and ehem.. the mother? would adam adhere to the do's and dont's? would adam this? would adam that? we are compelled to change as time ticking.

the cheeky guy - in the middle

isnt adam adorable? hehehe.. this pic was taken by julie last saturday. i wish i could hilite more of adam rather than the dome. hehehehe..

hari raya hari mulia

hari raya jugak adalah hari untuk ziarah menziarahi tanpa mengira pukul berapa pun.. hehehe.. this raya seems to be quite mm... what should be the right word eh.. mmm.. BEST barangkali? well, last year was also BEST. next year i hope for another BEST raya. ala... tiap2 tahun pun
BEST la. mana ada raya yg tak BEST kan? :)

though my boss is away for his overseas trip, my hands are fully tight. next tuesday, my office will host a Hari Raya - Deepavali gathering. pergh.. mesti mak tak menang tangan nyahhhh... i wish i have more hands.. the management people la.. i've given them the name list earlier. and they waited till the last minute. isshh.. sabo jela

last thursday i joined my other 2 colleagues for a hotel inspection - sunway resort. i thought after lunch, we would be heading back to the office. rupanya baru nak pegi tengok bilik. adehai.. dan ku pikirkan sunway ni kecik. rupanya besar yg amat. from resort to villa, to tower, to theme rooms. penat seh. dahlah pakai kasut tumit. reached office at about 4:40pm. rilex buat keje sket, baru balik.. barulah nampak cam pekerja berdedikasi kan? heheh . head home and fetch the 2As - adam & amai. that night tahir's clan are coming. nasib baik i pandai buat "satay segera". up to 12 night. all the dirty dishes che nani dah tolong cuci. tima kasihhhh...

friday still hectic at work. al maklum la.. tak last minit tak gempak katanya. cehhh.. i spent whole day making phone calls with few things to think at one time. and the very 1st time, i spent my 2 hours lunch break in the office. macam tak caya je.. malam pulak mastika & family mari beraya. dirty dishes are all in the sink - kononnya nak basuh besoklah...

saturday i bangun lambat. rasa sangatlah mengantuk. had my shower, then i took sophie kinsella's "can u keep a secret?". there goes my saturday. the book was marvellous. i've never spent a day reading one bulky book. penahlah habis but those are malay books. normally i'd spent 2 days for an english book. this one keep me hooked up. solat asar pun menjelang maghrib. punyalah kusyuk. and for the same reason, i was late for nurul's wedding. well.. not quite late if i may say. at the time of arriving, nurul was not there yet. and some other people are later than me. so i'd consider myself early but later than those people who got there earlier than me. hahaha.

today sherry, ijan & their families are coming over. wasih, diana, lelek, kak nah are also coming. bestnya.. sherry will be cooking the main dish. macam open house dia pulak kan? hehehe..

this year, my hubby was telling me "NO OPEN HOUSE", but if i were to invite my friends over, it's most welcome. last year we had a very grand open house. ramai sungguh org datang. and we could barely spend time with most of the friends. so this year, my hubby kata, lets spend more time with our friends. call them up. cook some dishes. and that's our open house this year. so sapa2 mau datang ke rumah, jemputlah ye.. i'll do some cooking. but please.. do not expect any lemang or rendang or local dishes. still learning.

so.. spaghetti anyone?