quality time?

a friend emailed me her prob with her son - standard 2. first in the sibling. didn't finished his homework given by the teacher. didn't submit his artwork for his exam. now: mother giving some more chance for the boy to improve . will he? time will tell.. "bringing up a kid is not an easy matter" - her mother said. which i think true. so true. sebab itu gulai mak lagi sedap dari gulai kita... got what i mean? org tua makan garam lebih - garam - gulai.. got what i mean? ha...

then, during my breakfast yesterday, a friend came and told me about his son. 2 years younger than me. first in the sibling. frequently change job. now: father don't know what to do. he told me that he has done all the talking. all he could to make the child realize about his future. but still, the son hasn't changed. he also doesnt know what he has done wrong. all the other daughters are all OK. but what happen to this one?

i personally recall what bapak told me earlier. the quality time between parents & children. the time that father & mother spend with their kids. personally, i dont have all the time with my bapak & mak. mak sibuk kerja. bapak also. but still, they will come back on time. they will come back during lunch break on friday - maybe to make sure we dont ponteng sekolah. duh.. why didnt i think about it earlier eh.. but indeed, they were there. they will bring us jalan2. if in the morning kena marah, petang boleh pegi ampang park. a way to pujuk us up. i remember bapak was garang. we all kena pukul. cubit. itu mesti. and for this, i envy my little sister. michelin di badannya jarang sekali (can i say none?) dikenakan cubitan manja bapakku yg garang itu. yelah.. dia budak yg baik. ceh.. konon.. hahaha. but i think akut got all the privilege because bapak has moved into his maturity stage. number of his age has changed. so selamatla ko kuttttt.. and myself is now like bapak in his early parenthood. my mood masih main jongkang jongket. hence adam will kena some times..

myself working. so does my husband. thus adam has to be sent to a baby sitter. i realize i spend more time facing my computer than facing my adorable adam. and that's the reason why i punch out on time. the answer to why i wanted to fetch adam the soonest possible. i'm bound to work for 8 hours. 24 minus 8 would be 16. 8 hours sleeping, left me with another 8 hours. and the precious 8 hours sometimes flies in split second. adam with his toys. me with houseworks. and sometimes 1 or 2 hours for good axn series. could there any quality time with adam? i reckon.. i really dont know if adam had some quality time with me. and i dont know if i've given enuff to adam.

i believe guiding the kids should be a responsible held by both mother and father. the parents in actual term. tepuk sebelah tangan takkan berbunyi. kalau tepuk beramai2 barulah meriah bunyinya. kids need peers. need somebody to hold the hand and walk with them. together. along the way. they need somebody to rely on. to talk to. to say yes and no to what they are doing. to tell them what to do and open options for them to choose. not a dictator. quoted from a friend "bukan mengarah, tapi mengajak. bukan menyuruh, tapi menjemput".

sometimes thinking about adam, i have some butterflies flying freely in my stomach. adam's world would be totally different from ours, the parents. my hubby was raised differently from myself. and so different from me. later, would adam be as good as his father and ehem.. the mother? would adam adhere to the do's and dont's? would adam this? would adam that? we are compelled to change as time ticking.