a marriage proposal

i have a good friend. a good friend of my life. recently a guy of her dream asked her hand for marriage. she was so delighted. and so was i. of course i was..

however, this proposal has gone a bit out of the line. it has given me some hard times. not that i'm not happy with the good news, but.. i don’t know.. some bad feelings had me

ok ok.. maybe i'm exaggerating. but that's how i feel. ok? well.. for now

first, she told me about the good news. i was so glad. i was so happy indeed. at last a friend will be enjoying the life that she has long for. yippiee.. i’m the happiest person - as i was also the culprit. i’ve been asking her about it until she got fed up. and now when the time has come, why shouldn’t me be happy. isn’t it?

second the not so good news: she’ll be travelling a lot since the hubby is an expatriate and working in joint-venture projects. but one thing good, i’d be getting some nice fridge magnets. hurrah..

third and the most disturbing news: she has started to ignore me. how could she do this to me.. the first thing was, she did not considered me in her financial planning. well.. not that i wanna be part of her life 24/7, but i thought being a good friend, is being together and always here, there and everywhere and indeed, being part of someone’s life. now, i’ve been having this feeling: i’ll be a losing a friend. and i’m not needed anymore. somehow, i feel, i’ve been replaced.

where was i when she needed me before she had this guy of her dream?
i was next to her.

where was i when her father died last year?
right by her side.

who’s shoulder was it for her to cry on?
mine. absolutely mine.

why is she ignoring me?
well I don’t know. i don’t seem to find the reason. i can’t find what i’ve done that she had to place me as a non-executive person in her life.

i was, am and still crossed. totally crossed when one fine day, she came to see me, just to say “hi.. i’m getting my wedding card done. chio”. and i was there.. “you’re what? you’re not calling me in?” and she said, “oh.. i think i’ll just get over it myself. you could join me later”. and i was thinking, which later part that she wants me in? on the bed? oh no! not on the bed part definitely. i wouldn’t want to get a threesome. it’s so troublesome!

being part of someone’s life made me feel so important. being left out in some major transitions made me feel bad. really bad. don’t you, honey?

notakaki: disguise is good, at times. :)