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2nd december



we did our pregnancy test, and it showed positive result. happy! the nurse from dato' alex's clinic called to deliver the same message. i'm a few weeks pregnant. happy! happy!


5th december

i had some dark brown discharge this late morning. i called dato' alex and he asked me to see him before 3pm. i went there just in time to have him say "it maybe miscarriage. we'll do another blood test and we'll see from there". nervous!


6th december

dato' alex called to inform that my pregnancy is not progressing. oh!

i prayed hard. but i guess not hard enough to keep me strong. i prayed that if the baby is mine, i wish Allah will let him/her stay with me. but if the baby is not mine, i asked for some mercy to release me from this restless feeling..

Allah loves me. He showed His mercy..


7th december



i had fresh blood on my pad. immediately we went to gleneagles. the medical officer was not able to justify my condition and called for dato' alex. we went to dato' alex's clinic to have proper check up and, yup... the baby is not mine.


8th december



i did DNC and laparoscopy procedure for my pain on my right abdomen. i've been having that pain for quite some time.

Allah has given me a short-lived excitement for me to enjoy the "pregnancy" period. though it's too short, but long enough to love my dear lost baby..

thanks for all well wishes and i am really grateful for the thoughts from all of you.

bye-bye baby... mama loves you too..



room 366, ward 3b
7-10 december 2008