Reasoning

the more i thought about "early retirement" from my work, the more reasoning i need to do. haih!

ok.. why?

1) i wanna be with my kids. well, yes ok. i can still be with my kids though i'm working. i've been working for the past 8 years, with my kids sent to babysitter. that's the catch! my kids are sent to babysitter. shouldn't they be with me? oh well.. i'm the mother. i need to do the needful. ok. if i'm working i'd be able to provide more than necessities to them. but think about this.. adam is going to turn 8 soon. should he still be at babysitter's house up till he's 12? oh come on! alesya is growing. shouldn't she be with me? ok.. disturbed mind. cant think of reconciliation to this reason; at the moment.

2) i'm tired at work. yes, true. i understand my boss needs me. she loves me. she's my "baby". but there are times when i came home, and i'm already exhausted. one, for the amount of work. two, for the mentally challenging work i have in the office. i have never thought HR could be as hard as i've been going through. i've always thought HR would be the best platform for me. 4 years in HR division proved to me that, what i have been seeing are only the overview of what a HR personnel does in an office. what i've been going through is sometimes, a hell of a work place. you're the most hatred person. you're the most loved person -- when one needs help. people goes silent when you walk into the lounge and you'll notice that the topic has changed to cooking - suddenly. when one news reaches HR office, you'll be the first person to be blamed, when you (me in this situation), never knew of such news existence neither had the thought of conveying any messages - should there be any. and one would either ignore your friend request, or block you, or added then remove you in FB! kejam!!!! conveying exclusive news to HR director is one of my job descriptions. and for the past 4 years, i have never had marks more than 3. tiga tu pun markah kesian for no news had been kepohci from me. mmm.. this reason sounds personal... truth is, i'm tired with the mental and psychology challenge.

3) i'm tired to think right now.

will think some more later.

nite-nite.