Thursday, October 29, 2009

just around the corner

tadi tengok kalendar, i have another 5 weeks to go.. macam tak percaya :D

pregnancy kali ni tak se-excited when i had adam. ok.. mungkinlah sebab adam was my first pregnancy. and this time around, i kind of, takut pun ada?? i dont know. too many things have become indecisive. dari hospital nak beranak, sampai ke gynae, sampai nak beli barang baby pun tak boleh nak decide. apa yang complicate sangat pun tak taulah.

i have once thought of being a domestic engineer; a.k.a. housewife. but then i thought again, would i be able to enjoy the same expenses i have been doing? would i be able to provide adam things and toys that he has always been enjoying? would i be able to provide baby the same amount of toys or baju-baju like her brother? i guess, my proposal to become the DE had to be called off - for the time being. why? i love my work. i love the work environment i'm in. i have a supportive supervisor and i have a good team. i love them loads. dengki-dengki, jeles-jeles ni biasalah kan.. keje penoreh getah pun org dengki. apatah lagi keje opis. pasrah ajelah... i have all good reasons for not leaving iskl for the time being. i still feel cinonet when talking to the mat sallehs, but nowadays, i feel at ease and confident communicating with them. mungkin sebab i've been there for almost 3 years and i have found my ground.

adam pun dah besar skang. macam2 pe'el. made tanya itu hari, could i be fair to my 2 kids? ntahlah... mungkin ada sikit bias as i've been always with adam. and this time around baby girl pulakkan... so, i dont know what to expect. i hope i could justify my role as a mother. insya Allah...

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