closure

i have a friend. a friend that i knew when i was in itm. a friend that has gone through my ups and downs and shared my tears and laughter for five years. a friend that was not destined to be my husband.

fate is something that Allah has lovely sketched for me. memory is something that though i try hard to dismiss and forget, it just comes along and colours my life. i've tried to run and hide but yet the "baggage" is still with me.

he, had many times said i love you & i'd care for you
he, had many times said i miss you & i'd never forget you
he, had once said i'll never forgive you, so please go and never come back
he, had once said don't ever contact me neither my family

for so many years, i have lived with "i won't disturb & interrupt your life". i have been living with questions on "how's your life treating you?". i have no clues, i have no directions and i have no answers to my questions; until recently..

i saw him there, but i did not make any attempts. i have agreed not to interfere, i'm adhering to it. yet it was so heartbroken when he made some contacts to my close circle but refused to at least ask how am i doing. i dont wish to hope, but i had hoped..

to forgive is divine and i understand to forget is hard; but life goes on. i had had hard time letting my first love go, but i had my closure. he was here, for my wedding. i was there, for his wedding. and we are still friends..

for him, who was once the king of my heart, i want you to know.. as much as what had happened has hurt you badly, i was also heart broken. i believe you have a better life and lead a happy family. i'm happy for you. please be happy for me too..

and dear, our love story is just another chapter in our life. cherish it and move on...

again, please forgive me and have a closure...