2010

nak masuk tahun baru lagi. wah.. tahun 2009 rasa berlalu cepat sangat. mungkinkah tahun ni banyak sangat keje? eleh.. banyak sangatlah kejeeeeeeee.... mengadap facebook aje, banyak keje konon.. porah!

nak look forward apa eh tahun 2010 ni?

1) kurangkan shopping. banyakkan handbag. eh? hahahah.. lama la tak shopping handbag. sejak tak keje kat/berdekatan shopping mall ni, barangan impulsive shopping pun dah berkurangan. credit card pun dah tak sampai maximum limit. asik membayar aje. ceh! setahun membayar credit card. rugi! rugi! tapinya, syukur... hutang dah kurang. kot2 ajal sampai tak lama lagi, takdelah laki aku sibuk nak bayar utang aku je nanti. kehkehkeh..

ps: semalam cimb baru increase-kan credit limit. apakah maknanya itu? muakakaka...

2) banyakkan amal ibadat. takdelah kata tahun ni tak buat amal ibadat ye tuan-tuan dan puan-puan. tapi nak diperbanyakkanlah.. senaman riadah di sejadah tu kena ditingkatkan. timing tu kena jaga. takleh la asik lari aje. ni nak masuk asar, baru nak terkedek-kedek solat zohor. syaitan sungguh!

3) tambahkan masa dengan anak-anak dan keluarga. cewahhh.. anak-anak.. kehkehkeh.. alesya dah ada ni, takut adam rasa tertinggal pulak. sian anak bujang saya sorang ni karang. semalam dia nak ikut lelen balik umah atok pun menangis sebab takut rindukan mama. dah balik pun nangis sambil peluk kaki mama. time kat umah atok main macam tak hengat donia pulak. eleh.. politik! alesya pun baby lagi. nak ligan main puas2 ngan dia. nak main masak2 tak syok lagi. main mekap2 lah.. mama mekapkan ko ye nak?

4) akankah hajat beli keta baru akan tercapai? mmmmm.. kita tunggu aje besok. ala... besokkan dah setat tahun depan. hehehe.. nak beli keta apa eh? spesifikasinya, keta belakang besar yg boleh muat dua org budak dengan car seats masing2. bagasi untuk balik kampung. barang2 bebudak ni. stroller. yang paling penting, barang2 tupperware. kehkehkeh..

5) nak memajukan business tupperwareku ini. sila lah ke blog tupperware baruku. dah upgrade sket. nak perasan cantik, memang rasa cantik sikit dari sebelumnya. hehehehe.. tapi skang ni dah ada few more options as i'm in the move of expanding the business. untuk men-support life setelah retire-lah katakan. ecewah! memintak majulah business ni. tak sabar nak duk umah jaga anak-anak.

6) nak eksesais. berat dah kembali kepada sebelum preggy. cincin tahun 2002 pun dah boleh muat kembali. wahhh.. rasa macam nak jadik model slimworld aje. kena setat jaga la makan minum semua ni. rasa macam tak sihat aje. makan main belasah. minum manis2 semua. ish.. tak bolehlah.. banyak lagi dosa tak terhapus ni.

adam semalam dah gundah gulana nak balik ke sekolah. adoi! tak nak teacher veni katanya. nak teacher shanthi jugak. macam mana nak buat? ayah will be having a hard time rasanya minggu depan ni. saba ajelah ayah. nak disuruh sapa pulak amik adam kul 11.30 nanti ni.. mama tak cukup sebulan lagi. kalo tak, mama dah redah aje bawak keta ngan alesya.

sapa-sapa yang bercita-cita nak kawin 10-10-2010 ke 20-10-2010 ke, agak2lah sikit ye. bawak2lah berbincang satu taman sebelum kawin. kang 10 org kawin tarikh yang sama, boncet perut i nak makan nasik minyak you all. kot jalan jem kerana 10-10-10, memang sajalah korang tau...

moga-moga 2010 bawa sinar baru, harapan baru, karpet baru, handbag baru, kasut baru, baju size baru. hahahahaha..

selamat tahun baru!

closure

i have a friend. a friend that i knew when i was in itm. a friend that has gone through my ups and downs and shared my tears and laughter for five years. a friend that was not destined to be my husband.

fate is something that Allah has lovely sketched for me. memory is something that though i try hard to dismiss and forget, it just comes along and colours my life. i've tried to run and hide but yet the "baggage" is still with me.

he, had many times said i love you & i'd care for you
he, had many times said i miss you & i'd never forget you
he, had once said i'll never forgive you, so please go and never come back
he, had once said don't ever contact me neither my family

for so many years, i have lived with "i won't disturb & interrupt your life". i have been living with questions on "how's your life treating you?". i have no clues, i have no directions and i have no answers to my questions; until recently..

i saw him there, but i did not make any attempts. i have agreed not to interfere, i'm adhering to it. yet it was so heartbroken when he made some contacts to my close circle but refused to at least ask how am i doing. i dont wish to hope, but i had hoped..

to forgive is divine and i understand to forget is hard; but life goes on. i had had hard time letting my first love go, but i had my closure. he was here, for my wedding. i was there, for his wedding. and we are still friends..

for him, who was once the king of my heart, i want you to know.. as much as what had happened has hurt you badly, i was also heart broken. i believe you have a better life and lead a happy family. i'm happy for you. please be happy for me too..

and dear, our love story is just another chapter in our life. cherish it and move on...

again, please forgive me and have a closure...

our maid

she decided to resign yesterday. i cried uncontrollably in my room, thinking about my two kids.

made and i have decided on what we are going to do without the maid and how to move things forward.

"lepas ni senang sikit nak jalan2 dalam umah pakai sepender" said made
"a'ah.. nak marah u pun tak payah simpan2 sora. boleh jerit aje" anne said

kehkehkeh...

insya-Allah, we really hope that everything goes smoothly and may force be with us.

alesya kamilah

alhamdulillah..

alesya kamilah was born on 9th december 2009 at 8:44am with a helping hand of dr. alex mathews in gleneagles intan medical centre, kl. weighing 2.94kg, syukur pada Yang Maha Esa, she's a healthy baby.

after 5 years adam was born, we decided to have another baby. it was a tough decision. at this point of time, i still can't tell what made us decided on another baby. perhaps adam's influence?

i had a miscarriage prior to alesya's engagement in my tummy. and carrying alesya was a little easier than adam's. not much of increase in weight as compared to adam. however, the first trimester was traumatic. i was in and off the office quite often and had to be bedridden for about 2 weeks. nausea and threw out for the whole 9 months. that was just like when i was carrying adam. not so much of craving for food, though. however, i fancied nasik lemak. when i was with adam, my craving would differ every other month. say this month rojak, the following month would be something else; burger perhaps. with alesya, i was a picky eater. i'll eat what i feel like eating. bad was, no chocolate and ice cream. i drank carbonated drinks like no one's business. coke was my BFF and made had to ask me to opt for kickapoo as it claimed not to have caffeine. there was a time when i asked made to get me a glass of A&W rootbear float. after a sip, i'm done. and the other day, i requested for a fried mamak mee at 11.30 pm. after two spoonful, i passed to made :D the only thing that made was a little reluctant to allow me to eat was sushi. well, he did bring me for dine-in during my 36 weeks. but i didn't enjoy it as much as i enjoyed it before.

since it was a planned c-sect, so i went in for admission on the 9th itself. "no need to waste money-lah" said dr. alex. according to the admissions clerk, room occupancy were high during december especially during middle of the week. i guess, most cases were planned c-sect like mine. thus, i had to opt for general surgical ward. my goodness... the first room they gave me was a double bed room. and the bed was EXACTLY facing the door. i could see anybody who walked in and out the nurses' counter and my kaki was literally tengah-tengah muka pintu. lucky me, i was granted a single room on the same floor at about 10pm. even the nursery's nurse felt safer to send alesya to my room. since it's a general surgical ward, double bed room's condition was not a good environment for alesya - fear of infections.

i was pushed into the OT at about 8am. it was a very family occasion whereby only myself, made & adam was there. adam cried and according to made, he was a little furious as i was still not into my room a couple of hours later. the surgery went well, but i had lost of blood and they had to do blood transfusion. my body reacted negatively towards the transfusions and they called it off once i was sent to my room. only then i was given pain killers and i started being cuckoo.

when i first had my eyes on alesya, i thanked Allah for this special gift. as we have missed the 20 weeks scanning, i was a little sceptical of how alesya would look like or would she be having any medical problem. alhamdulillah, everything was fine. and she was vanilla :D i had to admit that during my pregnancy i fancied dark@tanned people. syukur.... hehehehe..

why alesya kamilah? because it means protected by God; perfect.

insya Allah

expecting

"mama, are you going to explode tomorrow?"
"yes, sayang"
"i'm so nervous"

hehehe.. me too sayang.. mama feels the same.

please forgive me for any wrong doings & sayings. and please pray for both of us.

many-many thanks!