bila angin rajin datang

memanglah meriah blog ni diupdated. kalo angin malas tu melanda, hampeh.. berbulan-bulan biar sepi aje.

hari ni nak cite pasal sakit hati selasa lepas. bukan sakit hati ngan sapa pun. ngan opismate aje. takde la sampai tak lalu nak makan bagai. tapi, macam bengang sampai ke buku lalilah..

kisahnya gini.. hari senin lepas, my bos was rushing to settle her works sebab dia nak gi bercuti start hari selasa. when she's rushing, i had to rush as well la. siap surat nak sign, siap itu, siap ini. kejar sana sini. kena make sure bila dia takde, things are well taken care off and apa2 wasiat dia nak tinggalkan, kita kena tahulah. kang takde la menganga bila orang tanya...

nak dijadikan citer, pagi tu adalah sorang supervisor ni called mintak copy of increment letters untuk staff dia. i pun inform la my bos and she said ok. sampai ke petang, sibuk punya pasal, terlupa la arakian kisah increment letters ni. bila my bos dah balik tetiba datanglah encik supervisor ini bertanyakan salinan-salinan yang telah dipinta. "er.. it's with shanthi la. she has gone home and it's locked in her drawer". and he said "i asked from morning you know". abes ko ingat dari pagi aku main congkak dengan batu seremban? nak marah dah ni.. tapi cool..... sebab dah time waktu balik..

besok paginya, sampai aje opis, datanglah si encik supervisor ini lagi, bertanyakan copiesnya itu. the same thing i said, "i dont have copies, and it's in shanthi's locked drawer." tak habis lagi ayat mek, dia dah menyampuk. "u're not being fair to me. i asked from yesterday morning. what about the people who has been waiting for the letters". then i answered la.. "okeh.. if i can suggest..." tak habislah lagi sekali ayat mek, dia dah berdum-dum walked away from me and said "i give you the letter, you open it and make copies.." apa ntah lagi dia cakap, maleh aku nak mendengar.

jap lagi dia datang balik with all the sealed envelope. he passed it to me. i took it, i put aside for a while because i need to jot a note down a fax copy and i headed to the workroom. photocopy machine ni pulak, baru nak panas enjin. lambatlah sikit setatnya. so i was humming. satu sebab dah panas hati ni. dua sebab mesin ni pulak lembab. tiga sebab mamat tu ada kat sebelah sebab nak tunggu i make the copies. memang sakit hati giler time tu...

after i done with the copies, i went back to my place. i took out some new envelopes and started to write down the staffs' names and put in the letters. and i strongly BELIEVE that supervisor didn't expect i would be doing that. why? simply because he was so arrogant to listen to my suggestion. i wanted to suggest that we open the sealed envelopes, let me make copies, then seal it back in a new envelope la. would anyone knew about it? NO! but since aku ni cuma sapa aje di mata dia, he arrogantly ignored my say. fine! tak guna cakap banyak dengan orang bodo. buat bodo lagi bagus.

then he blurted out that i was not being fair to him, he was disappointed, bla bla bla.. i could understand his disappointment because i was humming all the way. of courselah.. gua pun ada ego ma.. kang kot aku menjawab apa dia cakap, rasa2 akankah mungkin ada scene di opis itu? definite punyalah.. if i wasn't humming, i'd say something stupid as well. panas gelegak dalam hati ni tunggu masa aje nak meletop. tengok muka dia memang dah rasa nak baling bakul sampah dah. tapi itulah.. tak guna layan orang bodo. buat jadik bodo aje nanti.

done with the letter, he left. and satu surat tertinggal pulak kat workroom. so i repeated the same process, then i went to his room, without looking at him, i just put the letter on his table.

i could never look at him the say way again. we have been good friends. we talked about so many things. anak-anak, sastera, bahasa melayu, politik, and almost everything under the roof. but when it comes to things like this, as a department head, showing this kind of attitude. alahai... you dont get my respect lah.. your say is your pride & dignity. you have chosen to place yours under my foot. too bad!

for i dont know what reason, he chose to show his anger towards me infront of everybody else in the office. why didnt he say anything in the workroom when it was only me and him? why must he raised his voice and let everybody to listen to it? i'm not his daughter, i'm neither any students. i'm an office colleague -and i guess he fails to acknowledge it.

next thing i knew, he called marie - the receptionist who sat nearby my workstation. one thing, why call her in and try to explain yourself? because what you did was wrong! sebab tu ko cuba nak explain. betul? common sense lah.. kalo ape ko buat betul, why do you need to reason out? agree?

i had rows with my bos, my immediate bos. but we talked about it. we'll stop talking to each other for a while, then we'll sit and thrash everything out. that's why we have a good relationship. she's my bos, yes. and she's also my good friend.

ntahlah.. when things like this happen, rasa macam nak duk umah jaga anak aje. malas nak layan perangai orang. letih.... pangkat besar, tapi otak letak kat siku. belajar tinggi-tinggi, tapi failed to value other people's feelings. what a waste...