paranoid?

somebody called made yesterday on our house phone. lebih kurang ginilah conversationnya:

caller: encik ramadhan, saya ali hensem (bukan nama sebenar) dari syarikat elektrik ali hensem (juga bukan nama syarikat yang sebenar). encik ramadhan ada air-cond kan?

made: ada. tapi kami tak pakai pun. air-cond dah ada sejak beli umah ni

caller: ok. terima kasih

kemusykilannya:

1) mana dia dapat nombor phone umah kami?

2) mana dia tau en. ramadhan adalah empunya nombor phone yg dia dial tu?

3) kalo iye pun dia ada nombor phone umah dan dia kenal made, mana dia tau umah ni ada air-cond?

sebabnya air-cond ni memang dah ada time kami beli umah. come in the house package. kami tak penah panggil sapa-sapa datang servis. senang kata, tak penah buat apa-apa pun dengan air-cond ni. buat perhiasan semata. penah switched "on" pun tak lebih 3 kali. suis dia pun macam suis zaman atuk adam - switch box besar with the green & red button.

marketing call?
prank call?
crime call?

yes, i may have irrational fear. with the current crime condition, i fear almost everything. bai jual roti pun aku takut.

"don't worry mama. i'll smack them with this"

i'm tired..

mentally & physically affected..

1) workloads macam sungai kinabatangan

2) made & adam demam panas

3) my boss went for a holiday & i had to work when i'm suppose to be on SICK LEAVE

fak!
dablefak!

idiot!

i thought i can handle the situation. but one after another? too much la..

penat!

letih!

basah ketiak!

busuk!

"mama janganlah nangis. nanti saya nangis jugak"

gaya tido cucu atok rafei

cucu pertama: adam danial muhammad ramadhan

1) keadaan kena samar-samar gelap untuk dia minum susu. agaknya tak feel kalo minum susu time lampu pasang?

2) kena ada bantal bolster yang perlu dikongsi dengan mama. satu hujung, mama punya. lagi satu hujung adam punya

3) tangan lagi satu pegang patung "dog" ataupun "hippo".

4) baca al-fatihah sama-sama mama

5) kipas kena pasang. kalo demam pun kena pasang kipas. bukan satu, dua kipas, ok

6) selimut tak suka

7) sebelah kaki kena menyelinap bawah badan mama. tapi sejak ada katil baru, katil akan diselitkan di celah katil seperti gambarajah di bawah:

banyak xtvt adam ngan mama kan? of courselah...... mama tido tengah. ayah tepi dan boleh tido dengan lenanya.

cucu kedua: ahmad ammar farhan ahmad joehary (panjangnya nama budak nih)

susah nak bagi fakta pasal gaya tido cucu kedua ni. sebab jarang tido sekali. tapi rasanya dia macam main tido je janji ada puting kat mulut dia. macam gamba bawah ni. hehehehe.......

time ni balik dari aeon au2. dia berak sebenarnya. itu yg tamo duduk langsung. berdiri pun berdirilah. janji boleh tido. hahahah...

debaran porno berakhir

2nd december



we did our pregnancy test, and it showed positive result. happy! the nurse from dato' alex's clinic called to deliver the same message. i'm a few weeks pregnant. happy! happy!


5th december

i had some dark brown discharge this late morning. i called dato' alex and he asked me to see him before 3pm. i went there just in time to have him say "it maybe miscarriage. we'll do another blood test and we'll see from there". nervous!


6th december

dato' alex called to inform that my pregnancy is not progressing. oh!

i prayed hard. but i guess not hard enough to keep me strong. i prayed that if the baby is mine, i wish Allah will let him/her stay with me. but if the baby is not mine, i asked for some mercy to release me from this restless feeling..

Allah loves me. He showed His mercy..


7th december



i had fresh blood on my pad. immediately we went to gleneagles. the medical officer was not able to justify my condition and called for dato' alex. we went to dato' alex's clinic to have proper check up and, yup... the baby is not mine.


8th december



i did DNC and laparoscopy procedure for my pain on my right abdomen. i've been having that pain for quite some time.

Allah has given me a short-lived excitement for me to enjoy the "pregnancy" period. though it's too short, but long enough to love my dear lost baby..

thanks for all well wishes and i am really grateful for the thoughts from all of you.

bye-bye baby... mama loves you too..



room 366, ward 3b
7-10 december 2008

debaran porno

adakah usaha lakonan porno kami bakal membuahkan hasilnya?

jeng.. jeng.. jeng..

debaran awal menunjukkan tanda positif. tapi mungkinkah itu hanya simptom mengada-ngada pelakon wanita?

yang pasti debaran berdegup kencang

dug.. dag.. dug.. dag..

kita tunggu debaran akhir pada minggu hadapan :D

"mama.. i'm already four. i'm going to kindie next year.. i'm ready to be a big bully :P:"

mamma mia

made and i went to watch mamma mia after we had our executive screening (annual medical check up) the other day.

not bad. not bad at all.

it was funny watching pierce brosnan singing "SOS". and i didn't know he's hairy.. eeeiiuuuuwwww...

meryl streep was good.

i kept having vision of drew barrymore while watching amanda seyfried.

i dont quite understand why was one of the fathers turned gay. anybody?

best of all, friends are for life. ears to listen. eye to care. shoulder to cry on. muchas gracias, my friends. you know who you are :D

and did i tell you we watched the movie at the signatures? rm60/seat. pop corn was damn expensive. taste not so nice. but the chair can recline. provided with blanket & little pillow. makes we wonder, do they wash the blanket after it's been used? mm...yuck!



their toilets were so clean and so automated.



"Dont go wasting your emotion
Lay all your love on me
Dont go sharing your devotion
Lay all your love on me"

panggilan illahi - part ii

we received a text from julina, inviting us for a small kenduri sebelum dia pegi haji on the 28th. hati i tersentuh. ju is a year younger and her husband, khairul is a year younger than made - my age basically. muda-muda dah pegi menunaikan rukun islam. syukur..

ju has one little precious aged 3. she'll stay with khairul's parents in taiping while they are performing haj. murah rezeki ju dapat menunaikan haji awal. time sihat, time masih kuat tubuh badan. alhamdulillah..

bila agaknya kami akan ke sana? cukup sudah ke rukun islam kami?

(1) Mengucap dua kalimah syahadat
- insya Allah, di setiap kali solat lima waktu. kalo kesempatan, di kala solat sunat.

(2) Sembahyang lima waktu
- mmmm.. kadang-kadang cukup. kadang-kadang, tak cukup lagi. kusyuk tu, tak taula nak kata. Allah s.w.t. sajalah yang menentukannya. bila tiba time solat, time tulah idea nak masuk. time solat itulah jugak teringat itu ini. pengaruh syaitan betul!

(3) Berpuasa sebulan dalam bulan Ramadhan
- alhamdulillah... untuk orang pompuan, adalah keuzurannya. dan memanjang ganti posa time ramadhan tahun seterusnya menjelang lagilah. itu hari dah niat nak posa sunat senin, khamis, jumaat. tak menjadik jugak. makan aje keje. badan pun macam hippo.

(4) Menunaikan haji ke Baitullah (Mekah)
- ya Allah.. panggillah hamba Mu ini ke rumah mu... insya Allah..

(5) Menunaikan zakat
- alhamdulillah.. sejak keje iskl ni, i dah start baya zakat. rasanya ramai kawan-kawan yang leka tang bayar zakat ni. hopefully, lepas ni kita beringat2lah ye. i was at first tak terpikir langsung tang zakat ni. sampailah mulut ni gatal nak nyanyi lagu rukun islam by p. ramlee. peh tu terpikir pulak.... "zakat is one of the rukun, kenapa pulak aku tak tunaikan eh?" from there, i adjusted my monthly budget.

cuba tengok org pakai baju oren dengan wife dia yang pakai jubah tu buat apa? this pic was taken while we were shopping in klcc. derang tu solat kat belakang kedai nokia yang kat centre court tu aje.

panggilan illahi - part i

our neighbour passed away recently. rumah belah depan, selang dua pintu ke kanan. suaminya makcik lat. arwah pakcik tu dah lama jugak kami tak nampak. dulu selalu nampak dia time petang-petang, dok perembat cucu2 dia balik umah. peh tu kalo arwah batuk, memang signature lah. satu kampung boleh dengar. raya baru ni, makcik pah sebelah ni ada bagitau arwah tak baper sihat. buang air merata, terbaring aje, kurang bercakap, etc. and i had the thought "kalo pakcik ni meninggal, sudahnya memang langsung tak bertegurlah aku ngan dia". and that's the fact. i have never spoken to him, and i will never ever talk to him anymore. kami masih confuse nama pakcik yang arwah ni. makcik leha depan ni kata nama dia mahmud. tapi makcik pah sebelah ni macam sebut noor. for the time being kami panggil arwah pakcik lat la ye

living in an area with most are pakcik, makcik made me sometimes "different" and "alienated". kalo bersembang, cite anak cucu. kami ni, anak ada la sorang ni ha. cucu ada jugak. tapi cucu sedaralah tapinya. itupun kadang-kadang tak kenal. jadi bila pakcik lat ni meninggal, truthfully, kami tak tau nak buat apa. when i came back from work, i looked at umah makcik lat macam ada kenduri. tapi kenapalah sunyi sangat. nak kata ada orang meninggal, takde pulak penanda kain putih tu. kebetulan pulak hari khamis malam jumaat. cuti sekolah pulak tu. my assumption was, makcik lat buat kenduri untuk sedara-sedara ajelah agaknya. tapi bila i nak tutup pintu, i saw makcik pah gi umah makcik lat pakai tudung putih. peh tu nampak makcik ana pun masuk umah dia pakai tudung putih. heran ni... takan gi kenduri berjanji nak pakai tudung putih kot? dalam kul 7:30pm, i called makcik pah. and she confirmed that pakcik lat had passed away at about 5:30pm. i called ayu sebelah dengan akak aishah to let them know as well.

malam tu, i jadik serba tak kena sebab made belum balik. bad traffic from banting. makcik pah pulak nak pegi lepas isyak. peh tu nak kuar, ada orang surau dah datang mengaji lepas maghrib. segan pulak... at this very moment, i felt sooooooo ashamed of myself. and at this very moment, i teringat uwan. if i were uwan, i would definitely, put on my proper baju, took my wudhuk, put on my sandal and headed to makcik lat's house. definite! but i was not uwan. i kept asking myself, what would i do there? how could i help? how much should i give as sedekah? where should i sit? what should i say? you know..

finally made arrived and we made our moves. lucky me, i saw makcik leha & makcik lat. i didn't feel so much strange for the familiar faces. after made has recited yaasin, i took a seat next to arwah pakcik lat and recited yaasin. then i saw makcik pah. i felt no different from others. after a while, we went home. i felt strange, but not so..

friday night was the first day of tahlil. again i had question marks. what should i do? where do they cook? should i wear something nice or just makcik-makcik's style? where should i sit? oh! pathetic! finally i was at makcik ana's house, had chat with makcik lat's younger sister and enjoyed watching makcik lat's nieces & sisters's mee hoon soup feast. i helped a bit with the makan-makan. and i ate with the makcik-makcik sambil mengadap periuk belanga. straightaway, my thought was, "ok.. peh ni aku kena tolong basuh periuk ni". fortunately, tak payah pun.. makcik ana kata, anak sedara makcik lat ramai. boleh tolong basuh. siap dia ajak sembang dengan dia. :D i did and i enjoyed the conversation.

and she made me rindu uwan :(

i am glad that we have made decision to move into this neighbourhood. i admit that my first year of moving transition was not a good start. but now i have started to blend well with the community. i am blessed to have such lovely neighbours (forgive me, with exception to my front door neighbour).

all and all, i believe, all things are up to me. if i were to stay with my own tempurung and kepompong, i wouldn't be enjoying the meaning of neighbourhood. despite that all my surroundings are makcik-makcik, i believe, what really count are my effort. i want to get to know them, i need to see them. i want them to help me, i need to help them. i want them to know me, i need to know them first. things are always vice versa.

they are my moms & dads..

my neighbours. makcik lat is the one in red

HR for Beginners

i attended "HR for Beginners" workshop the other day. it was a 3 days course, for which, i had the whole long week away from office plus the deepavali holidays. :D

only 4 participants, myself inclusive. the others were julia, siti & jocelyn. it was all fun. the workshop was in phileo damansara. attending one whole day workshop costed us rm20 for parking alone. damn expensive :(

the workshop essentially explained an employee's life cycle in an organization. from job analysis to job advertisement then from interview to orientation & induction. from there, move on to training needs and performance appraisal. the only thing we didn't discuss was resignation. :D the workshop was organized by MEF and it was all worth attended for.

one interesting question was asked during the workshop:

how do you feel when you look at the sea?

i'll let you think of an answer while you have a look at our lovely pics.

julia

siti

jocelyn

us

have you got the answer?

well.. whatever your answer is, it reflects your sex life.

hahahahaha

BFM 89.9: the business station

i'm no longer listening to other radio channels except for 89.9 - BFM, the business station.

found it by accident and now i'm an avid listener.

reason 1, less business making and self-claimed-i-am-the-famous-dj-with-good-voice commercials. the only commercial i've been listening to was "her name is lisa. lisa is 4 (5?) years old. everyday her mother walks her to her school which is about 5 minutes away from her home. today i will walk her home. to my home". social-care commercial. much appreciated.

reason 2, not that i'm an economic-reviewer-wannabe, but the channel feeds me with the current market & economic news. their interviews are also worth listening. tho not all, but the interviewers (& djs) are well-equipped with constructive questions. it's not kind of "well prepared, structured & written interview", if you got what i mean..

reason 3, the only channel ( i believe) that will play full version of "november rain". beginning to end, non-edited. i have to admit that i dont know most of the songs played by BFM, not my kind of songs. but i appreciate some enjoyable moments with my radio, in my car.

reason 4, less commercial, less talk. music, music, music & music. serenity...

"psst.. dont tell mama that i tell you this.. BFM is actually Big Fat Momma. shhhhhh..."

"what did you say adam?"
"no mama... i said Big Fat Millionaire"
"aaa.. clever.."

mama, adam & dino

I

mama: adam, macam mana bunyi dinasour?
adam: rrrrrroooooorrrrrrrrr...
mama: ooo.. rrrroooooorrrrrrrrrr.....
adam: lepas tu mama buat tangan macam ni (tunjuk gaya tangan ala mengcengkam)
mama: macam ni? (buat gaya yang sama)
adam: bukan.. 3 aje. bukan semua (referring to jari yg harus digayakan ala mengcengkam - thumb, telunjuk & jari tengah)
mama: oh! kenapa 3 aje?
adam: sebab dinasour ada 3 jari aje
mama: eh?

balik umah, i tengokla buku-buku dinasour adam, memang pun ada 3 jari aje.. sangat observant anak mama..


II

mama: dinasour makan apa?
adam: bertumbuh
mama: err.. tumbuhan? (looked at ayah)
adam: ha botol (betul). bertumbuhan
mama: eerrr.. bertumbuhan? (looked at ayah, again)
ayah: ha.. bedal ajelah..

bye-bye diaper

adam is going to school next year. hurrah!!

we have visited the school. adam likes his soon-to-be school. i'm thankful.

the only thing is, he's not fully potty trained. the teacher advised us to have adam potty trained so that it's easier for him & the teacher. and i believe, it's for adam's self esteem as well..

now adam is in the process of letting go his garment-consisting-of-a-folded-cloth-drawn-up-between-the-legs-and-fastened-at-the-waist (or diaper in short) and to have his wee-wee in the toilet. to-date, half success. alhamdulillah..

i'm amazed that most shops do not sell brief (underpants) for boys! i asked one of the sales assistants the other day. "do you have brief for little boys?". with odd look, she told me, "no?". to which i replied, "only girls wear panties? boys do not wear brief, meh?". she smiled.

urrgghhh...

we actually have some briefs for adam which we have bought from mothercare. rm70 for 6 pcs. a little pricey, dont you think?

chicken dance by adam

datin, please

sherry was in the admissions office. she told me, "one lady came in this morning. i addressed her as Puan XXX. and she said, "datin, please".

oh! eh?

then the same lady went into the business office and asked for wendy. another incident happened. wendy has written the receipt to "Encik YYY" to which this datin asked her to write it as "Datuk YYY".

oh! oh! eh? eh?

i asked sherry, "the datuk is from?"

sherry answered, "ministry of blablabla"

to which i felt, cakap banyak betul pompuan yg tidak sedar itu. education anak pun taxpayer yg bayar lagi nak belagak datin. esok2 di alam barzakh, tak denye Allah swt nak panggil "datin XXX, sila ke muka pengadilan"

podah!

gambar hiasan: datin seri mekna

waktu subur

kak sah left to abe chik's.

it was only me, made & adam.

made was doing his work, adam was watching "fairly odd parents" and i, obviously, had nothing to do.

i went to made and had my head on his lap.

i asked him "ovulation period should start right after my menses or we have to count from the day one i got my menses, eh?"

he answered, "ntah.. tak sure". eyes still on notebook, full of concentration

i snugly asked, "cuba check internet waktu subur starts bila?"

to which he was at first reluctant but he did anyway. and here's what he found that lead me to my honorary bed

click for bigger version

pick your choice:

a) husband's fault - he has not been listening

b) wife's fault - obviously the husband was concentrating on his work

c) child's fault - watching too much of cartoons :D

technology failures

kisah kak sah
... tengah cakap-cakap ngan kak nah kat handphone then the battery went dead ...

kak sah: habis pulak baterinya
me: kak sah pakailah telefon umah
kak sah: kat mana telefon umah?
me: tu... (pointing to the house phone, mounted on the wall)
kak sah: punyalah kak sah ngan ma mencari telefon umah awak semalam. patutlah tak jumpa. kat dinding rupanya..
me: hahah..


kisah ma
... wanted to call her anak saudara (if i'm not mistaken) in gombak. i was away from home with adam ...

ma: mana telefon umah tadi?
kak sah: tu.. kat dinding tu..
ma: kita carik-carik tak jumpa. kat dinding rupanya..
kak sah: pelik-pelik barang skarang
ma: deeeehhhh.. macam mana nak dialnya? telefon dah jumpa, takde nombor pulak
kak sah: ada tu.. kat pemegang dia
ma: aloh la...


kisahku
... after failed to connect to internet after several attempts, i called made ...

me: bang... camne nak buat internet ni? dah baper kali connect tak leh gak
made: cuba pegi dia punya 192.xxx.xxx.xx
me: dah.. still not connected
made: kena tanya streamyx la tu
me: alah..

switched off the computer, slept with adam and ammar then made came home

me: abang tengokkanlah internet tu
made: jap.. (tried, tried, tried, failed) kenapa eh?

after a while..

made: alahai mamanya...... (went to the phone connection and plug in the internet wire to the black socket)

***

technology fails us?

hahahahaha

i miss made

it has only been 8 hours since my darling waved us bye-bye. and i already missed him to the max :(

i'm doing fine. yes, a little grumble in the beginning, but, yeah! i'm all fine. at least we (primarily made) have visited maknek & intan to deliver her wedding present and i will still attend intan's wedding with mak & bapak & adam tomorrow.

my apology to all invitations (weddings, hari raya open houses, birthday parties, etc) that we've missed. we wish to attend as much as possible but i'd personally prefer not to attend any functions without made with me. because i know it'll be different.. i dont have my darling's hands to hold on to. i dont have my love's ears to whisper to. i dont have my honey to have some little chat. i'll feel alienated. i have had that feeling when i attended ISKL's annual dinner last year. and the feeling was completely suck!

oh! pathetic! i'm just a well-pampered wife. THIS is what happen when your husband treats you with excessive indulgence :P

too bad that it's a long weekend to miss. we have been busy for the past 2 weeks and will be busy for the next 2 weeks, at least. i'm all buried under my pile of works. and he's all down with all his project support needs. last night we put on info into our calender for november & december, and the dates are already filled with activities - work mostly!

gosh! i miss my snuggly-muggly time with my sweet-pea.

anyway, made is now in kelantan and will be back tomorrow with ma & kak sah - reminds me to locate and put on my "decent" halo for couple of days... hahahahah

"adam... can mama borrow your halo?"

open house @ no.9

date: 19 October 2008
time: 11am - 6pm (extended to 10pm)
menu: meehoon soup, roti jala, nasik impit, satay (a must dish) & special char-kuey-tiaw (all the way from Penang), ice-lemon-tea & mineral water :D



acknowledgment of appreciation goes to beloved families, relatives, neighbors & friends



(photos by amateur photographer :P) some faces were not captured especially in the middle of the event because the battery went dead.

best friend adam for the day:



sincere apology to friends who did not get our text or email. technology failure :(