angel of mine..

dah 3 hari adam kena cirit birit. kensian wooo.. makan serba tak kena. minum pun susu tak bulih. minumlah air kosong je.

1st day kena. we still gave him susu & makan. pagi tu dia muntah lepas makan. ok lagi. peh tu bagi makan. ok lagi. tapi peh tu asiklah tukar huggies dia. tak renti² tukar. ada je yg dia terciritkan. mak suh cut down his susu. tapi tak sampai hatilah pulak... malam dia mengarut. tengah tido atas katil superman, dia menjerit tiba². menggelabah woo.. baca ayat kursi sampai baper kali. peh tu bawak dia tido luar. takut dia panas. sama jugak. dia tak mo letak. then i bawak dia tido atas kosi. dia tido... i pun tido jugak.... 2 jam tido duduk.. sakit jugak badan ni....

2nd day kena. we cut off the susu. nak tengok apa jadi. still ada sakit perut. still cirit. ada fever lagi. ubat demam dah bagi. bawak gi klinik, doc kata there's no medications for young baby. so doc suh observe je. jangan sampai adam dehydrate. so we did. bagi adam minum air kosong banyak². malam adam susah sket nak tido sebab tak de susu. so kena bawak dia meronda kasik dia tido. semalam sampai jugaklah ke wisma celcom tu... nak tengok ketupat punya pasal

3rd day kena. adam dah nampak cam ok sket semalam. beyak pun bulih tahan. pagi ni, kensian adam. merengek nak susu. air kosong dah tak layan. lapar sangat agaknya. bagi jugaklah susu. sakit balik perutnya. cirit birit baliklah anak bujang i sorang tu.my mistake. we shouldnt give him susu yet... kensian adam. sakit balik peyut dia. yg tak larat nak dengar adam nangis. mungkin perut dia memulas. then dia punya nangis, syahdu dan nyaring. i dah tak tahan tengok adam sakit dah. so i decided to bring adam to sjmc for further check up. doc kasi bebelec. susu tak de lactose and specially for kids yg kena cirit birit. then ada ubat cuci perut anda lagi satu ubat untuk dia makan sebelum dia makan any food. malam ni, i hope his condition would be ok lah.. kensian adam. ni pun i dah ngantuk. mana taknya.. dok layan dia satu hari ni. tido tak apa tak.. badan pun dah letih dah ni.

tadi bawak adam jenjalan. so that dia lupa dia sakit perut. berjaya. adam merenget. mungkin ngantuk. tapi biler balik umah tak denyer dia nak tido. segar bugar semacam je.. ni dah garuk² kepala. dah ngantuk la tu agaknya..

so cucu uwan wishes everybody good nite.. zzzzzzzzzzzzz









< -- adam ngan arwah unyang (gambo last rasanya....)




















<--- gambo ngan atuk.. biler atuk nak balik nih.. adam dah windu nak naik moto ngan atuk nih...

yyyaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkkkdddiiiiiiiissssssshhhhh!!!!!! - part 2

pecah kaca pecah gelas
sudah baca harap balas

so the said neighbour has replied our note.

"time kasih bebanyak
jgn sound sorang aje. tgk org lain (be fair).
- selamat hari raya. maaf zahir batin -"

pecah kaca luka gigi
sudah baca i balas lagi

* hahahaha... u dun wanna be fair to others but want people to be fair to you? forget it*

*kereta org lain parking atas tanah. kereta WNA 7415 awak parking tengah jalan. macam tayar kena migrain kalo letak kat tanah. siapa yg fair & who's not? we are being fair by not park at your-selfish-parking-space. jgn main tuduh². silalah prihatin terhadap jiran² awak. you wanna be in the community then be among them!! happy deepavali*

then after a while, my hubby kata, mungkin she's referring to the taxi belongs to her neighbour yg parked on the same space. so i continue with the note

*we dont go against anybody who park at our space. but be considerate. whenever you park ur car, u tend to park too much forward. thus make us block the bachelors' gate/entrance. can u see ur inconsideration? and we dont have any problems with other cars/neighbours. think about this before u want to tell us what we should do*

my bro suh i cakap sendirik dengan dia. but i know myself... i dun want mazidul sidek ke zakiah anas ke datang buat laporan pulak. i admit i'm giving her a hard time. but i guess the hard time makes us know each other. and i have the feeling that it's the beginning of a "neighbour-relationship". i pray for that...

macam my hubbylah.. we started with quarrel. peh tu baru bercinta banget.. wakakaka... terkenang semasa dulu...

my bro got a new jentu (err.. jentu la jugak...). harap² dia tak parking merata² tempat.. hehehe... i could see the smiling face.. of course la sukakan.. jaga keta baik². jgn berpelesit tak tentu pasal.. i dun know about the car sebenornyer. then on the day i sent bapak to bukit jalil, lepas satu² clue dia sebut. first on mak's arrival tonite, bapak kata "biarlah along amik. mesti bersemangat nak amik tu". erkk.. i had the feeling. and i thought it was a MYVi. sebab along kata nak beli that car. senyap dulu.. after long pause he said some more "banyak plate 5335. suh along amik 5335 jugaklah".. ahah.. kantoi.. so i made him talk. rahsia konon.. i'm glad. at least along ada "responsibility" baru. bapak pun boleh continue with his plan on wira WDD. and the little kisya bulih bagi kat chengkut. *ko tak leh bawak manual eh chengkut? hikhikhik...*

i baru beli dodol nih. mmm.. nampak sedap.. mintak²lah sedap. minggu depan dah setat coti. ada masa, i gi update blog kat umah bapak. tak de masa kalu, tunggu i balik kejalah baru tengok balik blog. i dah excited nak beraya. hari ni pun pakai baju baru sebab nak gi berbuka posa kat renaissance. office function. kad raya ada la 3 kat umah. mmm.. ada jugaklah.. alhamdulillah..

hujung minggu ni i ingat nak perabih keringat ngemas umah. hopefully adam tido lama. then i bulih bersenang lenang mengeluarkan peluh. my hubby akan selesaikan kereta. and i nak selesaikan umah. petang ni nak gi cosway gi beli penyapu wipe. wiken ni jugak nak beli perkakas beraya. i nak terai buat nasi impit mini dengan kuah kacang resipi mak. mintak² menjadik.

semalam i dah menjalankan aktiviti kepupusan wang ringgit dalam poket. beli baju tido adam. and beli baju untuk anak² sedara and ma. hope they like it...

cucu uwan still thinking about uwan as the raya is just around the corner. Ya Allah, permudahkanlah perjalanan hambaMu ini menempuh dugaan dalam hidupnya. Kau cucurilah rahmat ke atas mereka yg telah pergi dan persenangkanlah perjalanan hamba²Mu menemuiMu kelak. amin

dreaming......

my first car was kancil 650 kaler putih. then i dah keje, i tukar kancil 850 kaler biru pulak. lepas keta tu eksiden kat on my way to melaka, i tuka kisya kaler merah itam. now i'm dreaming about this car...



biler agak²nyer i nak dapat pakai keta ni eh.. harga pun i tak tau.. description about the car pun i tak tau. i tau, dari luar keta ni cantik. tu je lah... hikhikhik..

kalo tidak, i dah beli satria (instead of kisya). tapi ntah nape i beli kisya. save budget sket. i rasa i minat keta 2 pintu pulak kot.

cucu uwan nak dream away.. mana tau.. malam ni dapat merasa "bawak" 206 dalam mimpi ke.. mimpi pun jadiklah....

yyyaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkkkdddiiiiiiiissssssshhhhh!!!!!!

aaaa.. rasakan.. apa ko rasa? oren? stroberi? twinkle² little star.. aaaa.. padan muka ko.. degil lagi.. tak paham lagi bahasa melayu.. serve u rite.. i've told u not to start a nasty game with me kan.. too badlah... u ask for it.. tingting..

going into trouble with my neber is the last thing i wanna do. dalam Islam pun ada cakap, kita tak boleh menyakiti hati jiran. but then, my neber has been way tooooooo much..

i've told her personally. i need the parking space for my other car. itu during the 1st week of posa. i cakap bahasa melayu since she's a malay lady. i hope she could understand.. oh tidak rupanya. tak paham bahasa melayu nampaknya ini org. so we decided to park our wira bumper-to-bumper with her jentu. i berani letak cenggitu sebab i saw her plate dah patah. so lantaklah kan. dia tak leh salahkan i. tapi tak paham lagi rupanya. then i buang kotak sampah dekat keta dia. laaaa....itu pun tak paham² lagi. bebal rupanya dia nih.

last nite, i've come to my limit. payah sungguh nak suh org bebal ni paham. i wrote a note:

halo.

didn't i tell u that we need the parking?
tak paham bahasa melayu?
i've tried in BM & i hope you cold understand in BI as i dont have any third neither forth language in mind.
if you have the brain to buy a car for ur necessities, pls have the brain to consider about others' necessities as well

then i left for buka posa kat umah bapak. i balik, still keta jentu-yg-harus-dibakar-hingga-rentung tu ada lagi kat depan umah. apa lagi yg budak jentu ni tak paham? i remember very well that when i was about to leave the house, she was infront of the porch going into her fiance's car and she turned to her car and definitely she saw the note that i left. and i remember precisely that the note was gone when i came back. tak reti baca bi pulak ke dia ni?

i bukak pago. i amik sampah yg lori sampah tak amik, i campak atas keta dia. bukan dalam plastik sampah tu.. adalah ketas plumbing, dengan polisterin book case. i campak kat keta dia. and the polisterin landing baiiikkk punya atas keta dia. few minutes later, the owner of the jentu-yg-tak-paham-bahasa pun keluar dengan moncong ala² penyangkut baju kat kedai dobi. at that time, i dah pedulik hapa dengan dia. "belilah lagi 10 keta parking depan umah ni. susah sangat ke nak paham apa org cakap" payah! memang payah sangat nak bercakap ngan org macam ni. i dengar dia vrooom² depan umah. peh tu dia parking belakang my waja kat depan umah makcik leha (their neber). - i parked my waja kat depan umah makcik leha tu kejap sebab i kena alih wira yg dah duduk depan pago tu -. peh tu dia hempas pintu dan masuk.. kejap lagi.....

honk.. honk..

ahhahahahahahaha.. itulah dia.. tak guna jadik org bodo sombong ni.. si jentu kena kuar balik sebab ada satu merc tak leh lalu. dia sudah parking senget and the other side of the road adalah waja abg jentu a.k.a tokeh ikan yg juga telah makan jalan. merc siap turun nak carik owner 2 keta yg bodo itu.. hahahahahah.. memang i gelak besar..

buat lagi.. buatla lagi..

i tak marah dia nak parking situ kalo i ada satu keta je. i dun mind. pakailah parking tu macam parking bapak ko punya sorang. tak kisah. tapi i ada 2 keta. takan i nak gi kaco parking space umah org lain. pikir² sikit. u nak duduk dalam community, be among the community. ni u buat hal sendiri. i know i'm new in that area. but that doesnt mean u can do what u want to do and i cannot do things on my own compound.

kalo i tak cakap ngan dia oklah. maybe that was my mistake. tapi ni i dah cakap apa yg tak paham lagi tu? apa yg susah sangat nak pahamnyer? dan dia tak boleh nampak sendiri ke i have 2 cars. dua. two. kalo dia yg ada 4 keta tu pun bersepah parking. apatah lagi i yg ada 2 ni. i cuma mintak space which is suppose to be mine. salah ke? nape dia tak parking dekat umah sebelah dia? sebab org tu org umno? dan awak org pas? come on lah.. wake up! ideologi hanyalah ideologi. tak ke mana ideologi tu kalo u mati besok. Allah s.w.t tak separate umatNya berdasarkan ideologi politik suma tu. tak de gunanya buat tembok cina semata² org sebelah tak sokong ideologi yg awak sokong.

what i ask was only consideration. it's not fair if other people have to park away from their house just because ur car is there. why others have to compensate to what u want. u nak pakai kawasan dia, u la kena berkorban.

kalo tengok dia basuh ruang porch dia tu lagi rasa sakit hati. sumer keta dia letak luar. sudahnya, org lain tak leh parking. dah tau keta banyak, parkinglah kat kawasan padang yg dah tentu tak halang org nak lalu lalang. ni nak parking depan mata. kuar pagar nak tengok keta. mana dapat.....

cucu uwan ingatkan leaving on my own, i could keep my temper down. i've tried. but somebody just cant see others living happily ever after...

*al-fatihah to kak marina noor. she passed away on the same day hendon kembali ke rahmatullah. i lambat post sebab i nak make sure i got the right person. she passed away peacefully lepas solat zohor, on the way to sjmc. it's just like drama kan? Allah Maha Mengetahui. dariNya kita datang, kepadaNya jua kita kembali*

babai ramadhan, halo syawal

anak bulan sudahlah nampak
esok raya atau tidak....

i'm in raya mood oledi. pagi² datang opis dah dengar ucapan & lagu raya. meriah sungguh.. posa 7 hari kantoi. adoh. akanku ganti diketika bulan syawal yg mulia ini jua.. tak kosa la nak tangguh lagi..

semalam i gi beli baju raya.. terbang melayang RM370.00 (ringgit malaysia tiga ratus tujuh puluh sahaja). sahaja hek enko.. melayang duit... time kat kedai tu, oklah, amik jelah... peh tu dalam keta.. adohai.. napelah i beli baju. macamlah tak de kedai lain lagi dah. apa yg lawo eh baju tu? ntahlah... adalah lampu lip lap keliling leher ngan tangan tu. tu je lah. baju tu quite big. L size. akak tu suh amik M size. i refused. yelah. ngan anak sorang yg ligat cam gasing ding-dang tu. tak de mananyer i bulih pakai baju kecik² lagi. kejap duduk, kejap bangun, kejap lari, kejap tunduk.. hish.. tak delah.. peh tu dia nak oter kasik kecik sket. tang labuh kain ngan baju i kasik. tang nak kecik sket, tak yahlah. rogi i beli mahai² peh tu kasik balik kain kat dia.. ooo.. tak payah.. beso pun beso la..

kuih raya i tawon ni ala² congkelat kebanyakannya. ngan kak amy, kuih dahlia. ngan sue i amik kuih cornflakes madu. peh tu kuih badam kat norman. nape i amik kuih ni pun i tak tau.. kuih tart kat anne. kuih congkelat kat ayu. london almond kat kak lela. kuih apa ntah lagi.. ada lagi la kot yg i tak ingat. tunggu jelah kuih tu datang.. kang bayo je. bak kata bapak "kuih kertas".. hahahah.. tak main tunjuk dah.. main tengok dalam gambo je.. aaa... kuih amirul nak buat lagi.. ayoyo.. tak cukup balanglah nak isi kuih.. last wiken i gi umah my sis in law kat PJ. dia ajak wat kuih - congkelat rice tart. dalam dia ada jem stroberi. sedap weh.. i ni dah terlambat sampai. so, keje i, masukkan kuih yg dah 90% siap tu ke dalam dulang untuk dibakar. mmmm.. besarnya jasa i terhadap kuih-muih itu. hajat di hati nak datang balik malam tu, nak buat 2nd edition. konon jelah. dah tertempek kat umah. pekena laksa mak uteh. kira pogeditlah nak buat kuih tu... kenyang banget buka posa malam tu. dengan che nani punya family came over for berbuka. mak uteh & family lagi. penuh umah tu. akut pun siap promote kuih congkelat seciput buatan buah hati tercinto. ahaks.. *sedap kut.. suhlah dia buat lagi... tima kasih*

1st raya i'll be in KL. then 2nd raya i akan pulang menemui keluarga mertua yg tercinta di kola krai. i had a very memorable raya last year. di pagi raya yg hening.. i pun seperti lazim yg i buat kat KL ni, nak siap²kanlah meja ke umah ke apa ke. tapi i tengok one of my ipar tidoq lagi. so i ingat, tak pelah.. mungkin lambat sket. peh tu i dah siap², i gi lah dapoq.. "maaakkkkkkkk... mm..mmm..mmm. mee goreng.. cenggana aku nak makan ni" i have never expected to makan mee goreng pagi raya. kalo i kat KL biasalah dengan rendang, ketupat, nasi impit, kuih raya, kuah kacang, etc. sekali i tengok mee goreng, pala i tak leh tune. tengok jelah mee goreng tu. the same feeling i had when i went to my atuk sedara's house in t'ganu few years back. berpinar kejap kepala ni nak tune bekpes makan satay.. tawon ni tak tau la cenggana. dengar² my sis in law nak buat laksa. tapi since my hubby's kazen yg pandai masak tu tak baper sihat, tak taulah camner. one thing best kat kola krai ni.. bekpes makan kat umah org ni, lunch makan kat org ni pulak. kang dinner makan kat umah lagi satu.. wow.. meriah sungguh perutku ini dengan makanan. last year, adam tak pandai beraya lagi. baru gi 1st umah dah nak tido. so, berangkatlah mama & adam ke umah untuk tido. dah alang² adam tido, mama pun joinlah tido sama.. heheheheheheh.. lepas ke kola krai, mungkin ke t'ganu sat. tak penat sangat nak balik.. wohoooo.. balik kampung....

mak dah ready dengan pinggan mangkuk koleksi londonnyer.. nak dengo citer pasal pinggan mak? hikhikhik.. tiap² tawon mak sure bagi kitorang di pagi raya makan pakai pinggan mahal dia nih. time ni nak rasa jadik anak raja pun bulih. sebabnya, dia hidang, peh tu nanti dia tulung basuh pinggan.. aaaa.. tapi dengan syarat, jangan ada bunyik kat pinggan tu. jangan calar²kan. jangan makan kasar². lepas tu, lepas makan pagi tu, kang dia balut balik pinggan tu masuk dalam lemari. the end. itulah cycle hayat pinggan mahal mak. nasib baik ada raya haji. merasalah 2 kali setawon pakai pinggan dia tu.....

cucu uwan needs to go for tadarus oledi. ustazah dah panggil.. selamat hari raya everyone. jaga diri bebaik. jangan bawak keta laju². ngantuk tido. jangan bawak keta.. semoga syawal ni, membuatkan silaturrahim kita lebih erat. semoga kita semua terus mendalami erti aidilfitri yg sebenar...

al-fatihah

i've never known her, datin seri hendon mahmood in person. but i remember reading an article on her few months back. cant remember which mag. reading the article made me feel like, i knew her. i was touched by her nawaitu with all the cancer patients and also how she wants to be with people but was restricted by the sickness that she had. she seems strong. i guess, she's strong. cancer.. a silent killer. some people will just regard it as destiny and counting days to end their life by not seeking any medications, etc. like hendon said, she was fortunate to have the opportunities to continue her life with the medications that some of us may not be able to afford. i think, the most important thing, she got her support. the continues support from her husband & family & also her friends. not to forget the rakyat jelata who have came and gave their morale support. there have been prayers from all sorts of rakyat jelata regardless their religions. and all wish her speedy recovery. tapi semua termaktub. ajal & pertemuan semua dah ditentukan. sudah di takdirkan. kita insan kerdil yg hanya mampu merancang dan Allah jualah yg menentukan. allahyarham meninggal dunia this morning. my sis informed me via ym. and i was stunned.. "bukan baru je i baca dia dalam keadaan sihat & stabil?". mmm.. i spread the words around. everybody was shocked. tak sangka kan.. *and yet ada jugak yg amik kesempatan nak sebarkan rumours on tun ghaffar.. hampeh... dan i antara yg terkena la....*

this news made me winding back to the memory of uwan. selalunya kalo ada berita kematian, uwan akan pegi. pegi bukan setakat pegi. pegi dengan niat nak mandikan jenazah, kalo jenazah tu pompuan. kalo org tu sakit pun, uwan akan gagahkan untuk pegi melawat. uwan akan cuba.. walaupun diri dia dari pandangan mata kami, tak de lah kuat mana lagi. but uwan knew her strength. uwan tak kisah. turun naik bas. tukar² bas. tunggu bas berejam². no complaint from uwan. uwan rajin gi pasar pudu. dia tak membeli kat pasar biasa. dia sanggup pegi pudu. pasar coket tu pun mainan dia jelah. semua selekoh dia tau. semua marhaban, semua kenduri, semua mesyuarat, dia pegi. apa yg dia tak pegi. asal ada org menjemput. dia gagahkan. tg malim, segamat, kuala kangsar, mana saja. name it. dia akan pegi. tak ada org bawak, dia gi sendiri naik bas. tarak hal. satu masa, badan kita ni, tak larat jugak nak bawak diri kita. uwan mula sakit lutut. uwan pegi berubat doktor. samping tu uwan berubat sinseh. bomoh, tukang urut, sumer uwan pegi. tapi, mungkinlah uwan dah tak gagah mana.

uwan mula sakit kaki bila jatuh dari bas. tapi uwan still ke sana sini. tapi dia lebih suka org amik dan hantar. tapi sama je.. org amik org hantar, umah uwan 5 tingkat. uwan tingkat ke lima. naik turunlah uwan setiap hari. tapi uwan still uwan. dia tak kisah..

uwan penah jatuh sakit. terlantar kat hospital. peh tu uwan baik. uwan tak de apa². alhamdulillah.. peh tu uwan jatuh lagi.. kat umah. nasib baik pokde ada lagi. tak kuar gi solat subuh lagi. pok de dengar uwan jatuh. pok de angkat. uwan tak sedar. pok de talipon i. i suh along pegi sebab kalo i pegi pun bukannya i leh tolong angkat uwan. uwan was warded. that weekend i gi jumpa uwan kat spital. uwan kata doktor kata dia kena kencing manis. dia marah maklong sebab bagi dia gula². uwan tak kuat makan gula². dia makan cinggam. i beli pampers untuk uwan sebab uwan tak leh jalan. uwan tak kuat nak jalan.

peh tu uwan bulih keluar. uwan duk umah bapak. uwan terlantar. memula bulih jugak bangun ke belakang kalo nak ke toilet. peh tu dah tak larat. in addition, tak ramai org dah kat umah. along balik selalunya lambat. so bapak tak leh angkat dia. therefore, pakaikan dia pampers. i ingat... uwan selalu kata "tak dapatlah uwan gi umrah. napelah jadi macam ni". uwan seakan² menyesali takdir. sesuatu yg uwan tak penah buat. pok de dulu addict. uwan sorang yg tak penah jemu ubatkan pok de. ada je usaha yg dia buat. dan uwan sajalah yg sibuk nak ke penjara di pagi raya time org sumer sibuk nak beraya dengan dia. dan doa uwan diterima Allah. pok de sembuh and jadik org yg paling taat dengan suruhanNya. pok de tak lalai lagi.

uwan dah tak larat nak angkat badan dia. time tu bulan posa. uwan tak bulih posa lagi. tapi uwan tak banyak makan. uwan tak berapa makan. mungkinlah uwan dah terbiasa posa sunat senin, khamis, jumaat. jadi kurang makan tak jadik masalah bagi dia. i was so glad bila uwan nak makan bubur yg i beli kat umah biru. banyak dia makan. tapi peh tu dia tak berapa makan dah. i ingat.. time tu kul 4 pagi. uwan terbuang air besar. takanlah i nak kejutkan maklong. so i basuh. sebelum basuh i buat niat "ya Allah. janganlah hambaMu ini mencebik dengan najis uwanku ini. jauhkanlah aku dari segala kesusahan membersihkan uwanku ini". alhamdulillah. i tak bau apa². nothing. zero. i bersihkan uwan cam i bersihkan adam. pelan². takut uwan sakit. berkali² i tanya, "uwan sakit ke?".

lepas tu uwan ke umah mok teh & mak long. i tak leh lupa. satu hari mak long sms bapak, suh i bacakan yasin untuk uwan. i ingatkan something bad had happened. tak de. cuma uwan asik panggil i. "na.. tolong uwan na".. that wiken i balik umah mak long. jumpa uwan sebelum i balik krai beraya. i bagi duit raya kat uwan. i mintak mahap dari ujung rambut uwan. i mintak dia halalkan makan minum i. i cakap kat dia, i sayang dia. uwan cuma jawab "aku tau". uwan sah tak berdaya.

balik raya, uwan dah tak larat. uwan dah tak larat sangat. along ada amik gambo uwan. gambo terakhir uwan. one thing about uwan. mulut dia tak lekang dengan kalimah² memuji Allah Yg Maha Esa. marah ke sakit ke kalimah² indah saja yg dengar dari mulut dia.

uwan nak balik kg. pak long bawak gi tg malim. kg uwan. mungkin uwan dah tau.. suratan hidup dia akan berakhir di mana dia bermula. uwan dah terlentok time sampai umah wan chik. sehari kendian, i jumpa uwan. i tak tau hari itu akan jadik hari terakhir i suap uwan air. hari itu akan jadik hari terakhir i "bersembang" dengan uwan. uwan seakan tau hari akhirnya. uwan tak makan. uwan dah bersihkan perut dia. uwan pegi dengan tenang tepat tengah malam. bersaksikan bapak, pak long, mak long, wan chik and mok su ana. mok teh tak sempat tengok uwan pergi. selang beberapa minit je.

i could spend pages and million of words about uwan. i have a lot of things about her. nantilah i sambung lagi... air mata ni dah tak larat nak berderai lagi. mak baru balik. kang dia kata apa pulak tengok i nangis depan pc. adam pun dah ngantuk. cucu uwan nak balik umah dulu.

OCC... i'm in love

i'm at the moment.. addicted, attached, engaged, glued, stamped, to this series. american chopper - orange county chopper. channel 50, astro. kul baper tak sure. kenkadang tertengok jumaat malam. kenkadang tengok ahad ke sabtu pagi. tapi sure tengok punyalah. well, addicted in my sense it's not i set my alarm or i tak kuar on that day and time or things like that. but i'll make myself, sepossible²nya untuk tengok citer ni. there's nothing great about building the choppers for me. yelah. i masih berjiwa pompuan ok.. but then i enjoy the series for the hiruk pikuk made by those people. sr, paulie @ jr and especially mikey. aaaaaaa.. i'm in love with mikey.. oh mikey...


From http://www.orangecountychoppers.com:

"Like his brother, Mikey went to work for Orange County Ironworks at age 12, working on and off until he graduated from high school. From there he went on to community college, but after a series of zeroes he realized it wasn't quite his scene. It was back to Dad's company. Mikey toiled at Ironworks until he turned 20 and moved to Tempe, Arizona, where he had six different jobs in five months:


Bouncer at a bar, which didn't work out because it interfered with his night life.
Busboy, which didn't work out because he was "treated like crap".
Telemarketer selling cell phones and cell-phone services, which didn't work out because he hates being bothered at home by telemarketers.
Valet parking attendant, which didn't work out because they made him run... and shave.
Movie-theater guy, which was enjoyable because he didn't really do anything but see free movies.
But overall, Arizona wasn't quite Mikey's pace either, so New York beckoned once his money ran out...

Back at home Mikey did carpentry with a friend for a year before again returning to Orange County Ironworks and working with his brother Daniel. Then, after two years of a job that was "unrewarding, cold and cruel," he went to a tavern one January night and met the man who would advocate his hiring at Orange County Choppers: Rusty, a.k.a. Russell Muth, producer of American Chopper.

Mikey was soon on board at OCC, answering phones, picking up parts, popping bubble wrap and taking out the trash. But within two weeks of his new job he was already on the road attending bike shows with his brother and father, and his stand-in was already out performing him. So while he has two people working under him now, he's not quite sure what his job is anymore. But does that really matter? "

bouncer jatuh beskal bebudak, mana gayalah gamaknya...

~o~

yesterday i was totally pissed off wif my neber. despite telling her that i need that space for my other car, she still park her car at my little space that MPAJ-allocated-for-the-owner-of-the-house. i came back yesterday and saw her car. and my hubby's car has to be parked kat depan umah ombujang. kalo i tak penah bercakap ngan dia, fine. i dun mind. my mistake by not telling her that i need that space. tapi ni i dah penah cakap. and she could clearly see both of our cars. ape yg tak pahamnyer? ok. mungkinlah. yes. maybelah. dia kata dia nak park there up till 6 pm where my hubby selalu balik. but that's not my concern. that's my area. and i want it. regardless my hubby balik kul baper sekali pun, parking jelah kat tempat lain. umah ombujang kosong, nape tak parking? umah 2134 kosong nape tak park? ape yg sumer keta dia kena letak depan mata dia aje? i pedulik hapa u tak kawan ngan umah 2134 kan. i pedulik hapa u nak buat tembok cina kat umah u tu. tapi please give some consideration to others as well. kalo MPAJ jumpa aedes kat depan umah i tu, bukan u yg kena saman. i yg kena. so bagi jelah area tu to me. lenkali nak parking banyak² keta sangat, beli umah banglo. make sure sebelah umah tu ada taman bola. boleh parking sumer keta kat situ. when i stayed with my dad, we had 4 cars + 1 bike. and all are within our compound. tak de parking kat luar. sebab tak mo kaco org lain. susahlah deme nih... one day.. one day nanti.. i got my digital camera, the first pix i nak amik is the pix of tokeh ikan punya keta. keta yg tak leh parking kat atas tanah kalo tak, tayar dia kena migren. geram tau.. geram....

ngucap cucu uwan.. awak tu posa.. ggrrrrrrr

pak u..

hahaha.. kuit kan.. nanti nak ajo adam. peh tu nak suh dia tunjuk kat those lousy drivers yg tak reti bagi signal, potong queue dan memandu dalam keadaan berbahaya dan juga sebagainya.. heheheheh.. to be honest kan, my middle finger ni, memang tak bulihlah duk diam² kalo tengok aksi² kuwang didikan lousy drivers ni... memang dia akan terkeluar dengan sendirinya. *my sentence sounds... mmmm... luncah pulak..* hehehe.. udah.. baca dengan clear mind. my fren penah citer.. dekat opis dia ada satu awek ala² suka cakap omputeh tapi tak baper pandai cakap omputeh. then one day dia sudah marah sama dia punya kawan. dengarlah hiruk pikuk akibat api kemarahannya itu. dan di hening petang itu juga, "pak u" kedengaran.. seketika lepas itu, masing² terpaku.. "pak u pun pak u la.. sukati aku lah pak u ke f**k u ke..". hikhikhik.. nasib ko la labi...

hari ni i sembang² ngan my old skoolmate. lama tak sembang ngan dia. dah 10 tawon tinggalkan sekolah.. wow.. macam².. but one thing for sure, we are going to be reunited... u heard me bebeh.. REUNION.. yiha.. raya ni nak kena carik kepala² ali baba bujang lapuk untuk buat kelija² dalaman. peh tu "kilat menyambar otak".. peh tu all the 95's akan bertemu semula dalam keadaan berdable triple. dengar tu alfa, beta, abakus, perintis, koperat, hamka, aset, mmm.. apa lagi eh.. lupalah.. kita akan berjumpa semula.. yay.... *aiseh.. komfemlah kena keje kuat kuruskan badan ni... ayoyo*

my hubby ada pertemuan ngan the smachians dia on the 22 october kat bangi. dia tengah pujuk i tak payah pegi dengan bagi alasan yg bulih diterima pakai. dan i tengah ala² majuk. hahaha.. dia tak tau, i dah ada rancangan ngan biras pertama a.k.a akak sulung dia a.k.a kak ti nak buat kuih hari tu.. hikhikhik... tak pe.. tak pe.. biar dia pujuk dulu.. heheheh.. omlaki ni kena ajar sikit kan.. biarkan.. biar dia pujuk. belikan i baju raya ada lampu liplap , gencu bibir merah menyala dan pastinya, i nak claim digital camera dulu.. hikhikhik.. peh tu i cakaplah kat dia, "oklah yang. go ahead. it's a good idea after all".. hehehehheh

mak baru balik london, i ni secara tiba² terasa pulak nak gi melawat negara org ni.. best jugak kan.. the last time i pegi melawat negara org, sebab ikut my mom gi berlin la.. peh tu dapatlah melawat belgium & london.. kira berjalan jugaklah tu... i nak gi umrah dulula.. tapi my hubby nak gi haji terus. mmm.. tak pelah.. gi la mana² yg mampu dulu. i ni sabah sarawak pun tak sampai lagi..

cucu uwan has enough said.. nak berangan sat... on the gath.. on the trip.. mmmm........

Oxford Dictionary's latest definition says

Divorce: Future tense of marriage.

Heart : A toy you can play and could easily broke but the original shape is still remain

Player: A person with thousand skills of cheating to win the survival game.

Love: 1) A game where you can fool and can be fooled. 2) A vision of blind eyes.

Email: A field we can shoot each other and die without bleeding.

SMS: A highway to start and end-up relationship.

Hand phone: Accessory to show-off, but normally not capable for outgoing call

Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power

Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.

Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life to be spoken of when dead.

Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Father: A banker provided by nature.

Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

~o~

anybody watch dr. house?

i dun know why. but i like this fella. dr. gregory house. kerek-ter kuwang hasam dia tu cam best. and i like it when he breaks the rules. tak taulah kalo ada doc kat sini cenggitu.. heheheh.. first time tengok citer ni, i thought he would have the difficulties in saying all those medical terms, this and that.. i pun terpikiolah baper kali kena cut & action. peh tu i terpikio balik.. "alah.. kalo salah pun tak de mananyer org tau.. dia cakap dah la laju" kan? heheheheh.. then i tengok, kaki dia, kensiannyer dia.. baper lama lah dia kena blakon cenggitu.. peh tu last week punya series, i terperasan his shoe.. mmmm.. that's not a normal person punya kasut. so hari ni barulah i pegi ke http://www.axnasia.com . kisahnyer.. memanglah dia sakit.. ahaks...

cucu uwan: "marilah kita tengok citer ini kawan². syiok ko... setiap selaso, seploh malam... balik terawih tu teruslah tengok tv nuuuuu...."

*silent*

a good fren of mine: ko tak terasa that somebody might terasa hati with what u wrote?
me: *silent*

~o~

DAMN.. adohai.. betul jugak tu.. i might... but on second thought kan.. mmm.. it's my blog. kan? so i think i can express whatever i wanna say la kan?

actually, being a blogger was the last thing i wanna be. i have a number of friends yg dah ada log. still i tak terasa nak buat blog. but then, i think i need more private time and space for me, myself. so here i am, with my blog..

there are times that i wanna be more than being heard. i wanna be listened. and i wanna 2-ways-communication. i wish to be commented on what i did. it's just now that i dun have that "environment" anymore. i still have my best buddies as my shoulder to cry on. but i think, they have lesser time for me compared to the time that they used to "rent" their ears for me. yelah.. masing² dah ada committment. masing² dah berdua, tiga. dah berganda². masing² ada jiwa kaco masing². i have to let them free with their own path..

i know i still have my childish thingy in my day-to-day way of thinking. tak taulah i terbawak² dari opis lama ke.. memang pangai i ke.. ntahlah.. but i wanna change it. that's why, i guess, i need a companion to make the changes. i need somebody who disagree and talk to me. of courselah cakap baik². most of you know, kalo i tengah naik angin, better not to talk to me. hahhaha.. kalo tak, dengan korang² sekali melayang dibuai angin.

for this, i miss my best companion. he used to listen to me and give me komen² yg membina. he would tell me what's rite and what's wrong. but now? ntah.. it seems the link to the komen² membina dah ilang. he doesnt comment on any of my actions, nor my saying anymore. talking to him, it's like talking to oneself. macam ala² cakap ngan dinding pun ada.. i had the thinking.. mmm.. maybelah dia dok risau of his father yg tak berapa sihat. tapi tak delah pulak nampak gayanyer. or maybe dia banyak keje. tak delah jugak. so i'm in puzzle. why cant he be the person that he used to be? i miss those moments. i miss the time when i membebel cam tak hengat, and he sat there silently & listened. then after, he will call me back to give some good advice on what i should do and commented on what i have done wrong. i hope i'd have him back.. for good.. for now.. forever..

back to my friend's Q. now i have the answer.. "nah.. i dun think she or he will sakit hati. i'm here just typing out my inner feeling. how i felt. how i dont wanna this feeling. i wanna the "silent killer" out of me. i have to spit it out. i diam², i yg rasa sakit hati. kang lunyai pulak ikan kembong kat dapoq tu.." ahaks.. so the simple ABC solution, this blog is my saying. this blog is my opion. this blog is how i felt. i wanna be "listened" thru my new liver - my blog.

for now, cucuuwan hopes nobody sakit hati. Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri (aidilfikri for akut).. hikhikhik... maaf zahir dan batin.. 0-0 till next year..

like unc frankie said...

And now the end is near

So I face the final curtain

My friend, I'll say it clear

I'll state my case of which I'm certain

I've lived a life that's full

I've traveled each and every highway

And more, much more than this

I did it my way

Regrets, I've had a few

And then again, too few to mention

I did what I had to do

I saw it through without exemption

I planned each charted course

Each careful step along the byway

And more, much more than this

I did it my way

There were times

I'm sure you knew

When I bit off much more than I could chew

But through it all

When there was doubt

I ate it up and I spit it out

I faced it all and I stood tall

I did it my way

I've loved, I've laughed and cried

I've had my fill, my share of losing

And now as tears subside

I find it amusing

To think I did all that

May I say, not in a shy way

No, oh no, not me

I did it my way

For what are we all, what have you really got

If not yourself, then you have naught

Just say the things you truly feel

And not the words of one who kneels

The record shows I took the blows

And did it my way

My way

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

akut: ko tau.. anem kata.. "nanti akak ko dah kawin, nanti dia dah tak hiraukan ko. nanti bila dia dah ada anak, lagilah dia tak hiraukan ko". nanti ko dah kawin peh tu ko dah ada anak, ko pun mesti cenggitu

aku: lain org lainlah.. buat apa dengar cakap org

~o~

and now it's happen. i ke yg tak pedulikan akut? i ke yg tak peduli apa jadik kat akut, sampaikan any updates on her i kena tengok kat frensta dia je. has she ever told me about fix? nope. where did i know? frensta. how does she felt on the first day of posa? down.. how did i know? of course, sumber² yg boleh dipercayai.. her blog. i penah dengar apa² dari mulut akut? takde.. so, i ke yg menjauhkan diri & tak mempedulikan dia? atau dia yg melarikan diri & tak mempedulikan i? yelah.. org dah ada ahkak baru.. mana best nak citer ngan ahkak lama.. dah ada gading. apadehal nak sembang ngan tanduk lagi.. eh.. mmmm.. yelah kot... nak jawab soklan pun kena tunggu ahkak gading. nak makan pun kena tunggu ahkak gading. tak sudi nak makan ngan ahkak tanduk eh. apatah lagi nak berjalan² ngan ahkak tanduk... yelah.. ahkak tanduk dah ada anak. dah ada laki.. dah duk umah sendiri. dah tak de masa untuk akut. dan sebab itu jugaklah ahkak tanduk tak leh tegur apa akut buat. tak layak gamaknyer ahkak tanduk menegur apa akut nak buat. sampaikan biler kena tegur akut sanggup tinggalkan ahkak tanduk dalam ujan dengan anaknya yg demam itooo. tak pelah.. que sera sera.. what will be.. will be... *think positive cucu uwan.... at least u have somebody to look on her* yeah... maybe....

kenkadang... ye.. i berkecik ati dengan akut.. maybe because we used to hang around together. and now that i've my own things, all the "together" thingy drifted apart. maybe i'm not the best listener, the best advisor for her.. so, i have to admit things that maybe i dun wish to admit.. things have changed and to love a person is to let her go.... so, let her be... let her stand on her own feet. let her choose the path that she wish to choose. let her has her own strength to put herself up on the ground. i cant just hold her tight and ask her to stand when she wants to crawl.

~o~

there's time that it's difficult to talk to somebody by not hurting him or her. so the que sera sera rules take action. tell a lie.. and it works. omN9 tu cuci toilet? manalah i tau... toilet umah mak? come on la..... rajin sangat ke dia? two times five just like u only.. the name made u talk rite.. mmmm.. oklah.. kira i pandai jugaklah jadik saikaterik..

and now, be positive cucu uwan.. u can do it....

for akut, i wish u the best...

for ahkak gading, i reserve my comment... u're now part of the family.. welcome aboard... end of sentence.

for my daling, the chosen one u are... u no need to ask whether or not i love u... i've decided to love u more than 365 days ago.. and yet, no r.e.g.r.e.t...

P.E.N.A.T

dah dekat setawon i keje, nilah time i rasa penat giler... giler punya penat. berlari-berkejaran-ala²-saripah aini dari satu pc ke satu pc. rasa² dah ilang dekat 8 kilo da ni.. *julie, jgn jeles... hakhakhak*. penat balik dari krai pun tak settle down lagi. nak lipat baju 2 bakul lagi. adohai.. memerah keringat betul la...


i balik krai last wiken. ayah kurang sihat. tapi Alhamdulillah, he's getting better. bile tengok dia makan tu rasa sedap juga mata memandang. yg paling best tengok dia habiskan murtabak.. i memang tabiklah omkelantan. makanlah manis mana, level diabetes derang at minimum level je.. the murtabak was manis. YUP!! MANIS.. they put keledek among others. so, u could imagine eating karipap keledek instead of murtabak. yg paling best sekali pegi pasar ramadhan kat sana, with RM7.70 = penuh meja. kat KL? jangan haraplah.. yesterday i spent about RM15.00 for nasik ayam, air temikai ngan otak² - for 2 people.


cucu uwan wants to play games kejap... penat ni.. tensi pun ada.... on second thought.. nak titunlah.. sempat tak eh...

hari ni...

merantuk pun ada....
rasa cam nak titun pun ada....
cepatlah balik....
awat rasa cam lambatnyer hari ni...

mak... cepatlah mai... nak balik nih......
hhuuuwwwaarrrrgggghhhhhhhhh.....

ku mohon..

setiap hariku mohon agar kau sentiasa
memberiku ketenangan dalam hati kekuatan
menempuhi segala dugaan yang mencabar ini
pasti punya ertinya

Engkau beriku harapan
menjawab segala persoalan
hadapi semua dalam tenang
dengan merasa kesyukuran
ku doa Kau selalu
mengawasi gerak geriku
berkatilah ku penuh rahmat dariMu

oh Tuhan
terangkan hati dalam sanubariku
untuk menempuhi segala hidup penuh cabaran ini

Oh Tuhan
ku berserah segalanya kepadaMu
agar jiwaku tenang dengan bimbinganMu selalu

ada kalanya ku merasa
hidup ini seperti kaca
jikalau tidak bersabar
hancur berderailah akhirnya
tabahkanlah hatiku melalui semua itu
oh... kuatkanlah
cekalkanlah diriku

curahkanlah nikmat mu pada hidup ku

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i terleka. mungkin juga terlupa. dan mungkin tak ingat. dalam ghairah nak sambut posa kat umah, i terlupa i still have a bapak yg nak sambut posa ngan anak dia. i terlupa yg i ada adik yg nak berbuka dengan akak dia. lupa.. lupa sangat... hari ni i tak lupa. hari ni i ingat.. and i kena selalu ingat, i have a FAMILY.. and somehow or rather they need me as much as i need them..

someone has hurt my feeling as much as i've hurt his. biarlah.. sedangkan lidah lagi tergigit... i believe we need our own "privacy space" to heal..

kut, i miss uwan as much as u do. no more baulu, kuih ijo, roti jala, baju kurung, ketupat and most of all, tak de org yg nak kerah kita gi kubur moksu & mektam.. tak de lagi panjat tangga pagi raya - which with +ve mind, "kuruslah kita balik dari umah uwan neh".. and so much true, that kita akan dengan rela hati balik kg. tapi tak dapat dah nak cium, peluk, usik² uwan as much as used to do.. dapat usap batu nesan dia aje. tak de lagi duit raya nak bagi, and Al-Fatihah sebagai pengganti..

cucu uwan asik menangis dari pagi.......

<<<---- uwan my daling..

ramadhan datang lagi..

untuk i ramadhan datang hari².. hahahahahaha... untuk yg memahami jelah.. yg tak paham tu, angguk² geleng² jelah....

it's the first ramadhan for me duduk ngan my own family. everything on my own.. wow.. pagi tadi semangat bangun sahur. esok lusa tataulah. kantoi kot..

2 hari tak masuk opis. emel.... menimbun.. tima kasih kawan²ku. akanku baca hari ini juga.

i went for training - personal development programme. it's kindda good training - for the good package ~ the trainer was extremely good, the food (sampai mc la i on the 2nd day), the trainer punya partner pun telah mengindahkan pemandangan~ hikhikhikhik

i learnt one thing for sure. we have to be positive. no matter how stress we are, depressed, tensed, frust tetonggeng, etc.. we have to stay positive. it's fun learning....

last nite, i cuba stay positive-sepositive yg bulih. tapinyer, with my neber, still i kenot tahanlah.... i feel like parking kat dalam umah dia je semalam. despite that i've informed her that i need the parking since we have 2 cars now. "tak pelah kak.. akak paking depan dulu. malam ni keta ni tak de". malam.. malam ye... len kali cakaplah tengah malam. kan ke senang.. tak delah laki i malu dengan budak bujang sebelah umah tu. sudahnyer? budak bujang tu pun kena parking depan umah org lain.

mmmmm. kalo i nak jadik cam makhluk ijo ni bulih? aaaaarrrrrggggghhhhhhhhh...... gigit org umah depan.... gigit dia.. gigit....



cucu uwan kena belajar banyak bersabar.. beramal sebanyak2 amal.. inilah bulan yg banyak ganjarannya...