Sense of belonging

Mama: adam, your baju sukan is already so comot. Your teacher didn't ask you to buy a new baju sukan?

Adam: no. Why mama?

Mama: no la... You look at airiel. He has the baju sukan. The blue colour shirt. Yours is white. Dont you have sports day soon?

Adam: err... Sports day? I dont know..

Couple of minutes later with the topic was still on going and we were still chit chatting about what is a sports day, what we had done during the sports day, yada-yada-yada..

Adam: oh mama.. Teacher said i have to buy the baju sukan and last day is tomorrow.

Mama: what? Did you tell ayah?

Adam: err... Yes

Mama: what did he say?

Adam: he just kept quite.

It's a frustration on my end. Despite that i have been asking him about whats happening and was there any messages from the teacher on a 5 school days basis, he did not pass this message on to me.

We had a similar incident before. He lost his colour pencils and he had an exam the next day that requires him to have the colour pencils. He told ayah but none of the message reached me. What ayah did was collected all adam's only god knows where & what kind of colour pencils that he found in the house; put it in a bag and gave it to his son to use in the school. Objective? To teach adam a lesson to not lose things. Good intention in a way, but for an exam? And where was i in this family picture of ours? Odd, i feel cropped from the frame.

I'm in my emotional state at the moment. Dont know if it's mensus or pre-menopause. But it IS my frustration. I am so feeling not needed.

Ok. Time to wipe the tears & hop to the office. A place that i feel more welcoming & needed. Even the morning is sympathatic.

*sigh*