i'm not missing you

Oh, Oh
I'm not missing you
Been through just about everything that I could go through
When it comes to relationships
Don't know what I was missing or why I ain't listen
When I told myself that was it
Now here I go, hurt again
Cause of my curiousity
Now that it's over
What else could it be

I made a promise never to settle
Why didn't I keep it?
Cause I hated the heartbreak
Crying and cheating, the fooling around

(But) I'm not missing you
I'm not going through the motions
Waiting and hoping you call me
I'm not missing you
You might have had me open
But I must be going because
I got life to do
I know I'm usually hanging on
I used to hate to see you gone
But this time it's different
I don't even feel the distance
I'm not missing
I'm not missing you

It's a shame in a way cause
I feel that I may not ever find the right one for me
Did I leave him, is he right in front of my face oh
Will my true love ever be?
Why would I go on a search again
When I know what the end will be
What good is love when it keeps on hurting me?

I made a promise never to settle
Why didn't I keep it?
Cause I hated the heartbreak
Crying and cheating, the fooling around

No I can't be with you
Cause I'm scared felt like I was falling when you left me
I can't keep going through life
Unaware of what I missed
And the person I could be
Love's good when it's right
And when it's left in your memory
All the times I let you down
I guess love will be nice for someone else's life


actually i do miss u..

kenangan terindah

di satu pagi yg hening (read: 2am). ayah yg sedang lena diulit mimpi, dikejutkan anak manjanya.

anak: ayah.... nak sholat
ayah: apa dia?
anak: nak sholat
ayah: aaa... tunggu kejap..

ayah bingkas bangkit dari peraduannya. bergerak ke dalam bilik utama, lantas mencapai kain sejadah di ampaian kain. lalu penuh kasih sayang ayah menbentangkannya di lantai untuk anak yg tercinta sambil di hatinya mengucapkan syukur ke hadrat Ilahi..

anak: ayah.. bukan nak sembahyang la. adam nak sholat
ayah: aaa?? apa dia?
anak: adam nak sholat
ayah: oooooo.. kejap

seraya itu, berlalulah ayah ke peti ais untuk mengambil sekotak sholat cadbury untuk anakandanya yg tercinta..

i'm all alone

alone in the room
i'm hoping for someone would ask me what had happened?
but instead, i got a query "what turn u up? makcik told me u're angry at her?"
listening to that makcik is more important than listening to somebody living with u
i pressume...

alone with mix feeling
i'm hoping for somebody to hold me firmly and assure that everything will be alrite
but instead, it was mak who kept asking me what had happened?
assuming...
being in her womb for 9 months could lead her to predict something went wrong

alone with myself
i'm hoping somebody would want to spare a little minute to put me into comfortable zone
but instead, all i heard was snore that last for hours
recovering the sleep over the football game that morning is far important than being a shoulder to cry
i'd say...

i feel thankful that my boss could spend some of his busy time to listen to me
i feel blessed to have friends whom would travel just to be by my side
i feel relieved to have buddies who have time reading my ym, googletalk & emails
i feel even better when mak showed me her concern

i'm hoping for somebody that would lend me some minutes of his precious time
i'm hoping for somebody that would share this tears
i'm hoping for somebody that would comfort me and assure me that e'thing would be ok
i'm hoping for somebody that would be there when i need them

i guess it's just too much to ask...

bad girl

off late, i asik teringat uwan, atuk & ayah. and this morning i dreamt about ayah

maybe i miss them so much
or
maybe i've been carried away with my day-to-day thingy and i havent spend time reciting yasin for them

i think the latter suits me better

i'm bad!

my daling... i wrote a letter for u

kehadapan suamiku yg dicintai,

aku amat menyayangimu seluruh hatiku
cintaku ini bagai tiada tandingannya
kasihku ini tiada tolok gantinya
sayangku ini tiada galang pemisah

luhur cintaku sesuci cinta taj mahal
lahar kasihku umpama api yg marak membakar
salju sayangku umpama embun pagi

tiada lebih yang ku pinta..

hanyalah tulus kasihmu
hanyalah ikhlas cintamu
hanyalah utuh sayangmu
dan
hanyalah approval untuk membeli kain di euro moda untuk membuat baju dinner ku..


ps: tak mahal yang..... rm475.95 sen je.. ::wink:: ::wink::

gambar ehsan: laman web

quality time?

a friend emailed me her prob with her son - standard 2. first in the sibling. didn't finished his homework given by the teacher. didn't submit his artwork for his exam. now: mother giving some more chance for the boy to improve . will he? time will tell.. "bringing up a kid is not an easy matter" - her mother said. which i think true. so true. sebab itu gulai mak lagi sedap dari gulai kita... got what i mean? org tua makan garam lebih - garam - gulai.. got what i mean? ha...

then, during my breakfast yesterday, a friend came and told me about his son. 2 years younger than me. first in the sibling. frequently change job. now: father don't know what to do. he told me that he has done all the talking. all he could to make the child realize about his future. but still, the son hasn't changed. he also doesnt know what he has done wrong. all the other daughters are all OK. but what happen to this one?

i personally recall what bapak told me earlier. the quality time between parents & children. the time that father & mother spend with their kids. personally, i dont have all the time with my bapak & mak. mak sibuk kerja. bapak also. but still, they will come back on time. they will come back during lunch break on friday - maybe to make sure we dont ponteng sekolah. duh.. why didnt i think about it earlier eh.. but indeed, they were there. they will bring us jalan2. if in the morning kena marah, petang boleh pegi ampang park. a way to pujuk us up. i remember bapak was garang. we all kena pukul. cubit. itu mesti. and for this, i envy my little sister. michelin di badannya jarang sekali (can i say none?) dikenakan cubitan manja bapakku yg garang itu. yelah.. dia budak yg baik. ceh.. konon.. hahaha. but i think akut got all the privilege because bapak has moved into his maturity stage. number of his age has changed. so selamatla ko kuttttt.. and myself is now like bapak in his early parenthood. my mood masih main jongkang jongket. hence adam will kena some times..

myself working. so does my husband. thus adam has to be sent to a baby sitter. i realize i spend more time facing my computer than facing my adorable adam. and that's the reason why i punch out on time. the answer to why i wanted to fetch adam the soonest possible. i'm bound to work for 8 hours. 24 minus 8 would be 16. 8 hours sleeping, left me with another 8 hours. and the precious 8 hours sometimes flies in split second. adam with his toys. me with houseworks. and sometimes 1 or 2 hours for good axn series. could there any quality time with adam? i reckon.. i really dont know if adam had some quality time with me. and i dont know if i've given enuff to adam.

i believe guiding the kids should be a responsible held by both mother and father. the parents in actual term. tepuk sebelah tangan takkan berbunyi. kalau tepuk beramai2 barulah meriah bunyinya. kids need peers. need somebody to hold the hand and walk with them. together. along the way. they need somebody to rely on. to talk to. to say yes and no to what they are doing. to tell them what to do and open options for them to choose. not a dictator. quoted from a friend "bukan mengarah, tapi mengajak. bukan menyuruh, tapi menjemput".

sometimes thinking about adam, i have some butterflies flying freely in my stomach. adam's world would be totally different from ours, the parents. my hubby was raised differently from myself. and so different from me. later, would adam be as good as his father and ehem.. the mother? would adam adhere to the do's and dont's? would adam this? would adam that? we are compelled to change as time ticking.

the cheeky guy - in the middle

isnt adam adorable? hehehe.. this pic was taken by julie last saturday. i wish i could hilite more of adam rather than the dome. hehehehe..

hari raya hari mulia

hari raya jugak adalah hari untuk ziarah menziarahi tanpa mengira pukul berapa pun.. hehehe.. this raya seems to be quite mm... what should be the right word eh.. mmm.. BEST barangkali? well, last year was also BEST. next year i hope for another BEST raya. ala... tiap2 tahun pun
BEST la. mana ada raya yg tak BEST kan? :)

though my boss is away for his overseas trip, my hands are fully tight. next tuesday, my office will host a Hari Raya - Deepavali gathering. pergh.. mesti mak tak menang tangan nyahhhh... i wish i have more hands.. the management people la.. i've given them the name list earlier. and they waited till the last minute. isshh.. sabo jela

last thursday i joined my other 2 colleagues for a hotel inspection - sunway resort. i thought after lunch, we would be heading back to the office. rupanya baru nak pegi tengok bilik. adehai.. dan ku pikirkan sunway ni kecik. rupanya besar yg amat. from resort to villa, to tower, to theme rooms. penat seh. dahlah pakai kasut tumit. reached office at about 4:40pm. rilex buat keje sket, baru balik.. barulah nampak cam pekerja berdedikasi kan? heheh . head home and fetch the 2As - adam & amai. that night tahir's clan are coming. nasib baik i pandai buat "satay segera". up to 12 night. all the dirty dishes che nani dah tolong cuci. tima kasihhhh...

friday still hectic at work. al maklum la.. tak last minit tak gempak katanya. cehhh.. i spent whole day making phone calls with few things to think at one time. and the very 1st time, i spent my 2 hours lunch break in the office. macam tak caya je.. malam pulak mastika & family mari beraya. dirty dishes are all in the sink - kononnya nak basuh besoklah...

saturday i bangun lambat. rasa sangatlah mengantuk. had my shower, then i took sophie kinsella's "can u keep a secret?". there goes my saturday. the book was marvellous. i've never spent a day reading one bulky book. penahlah habis but those are malay books. normally i'd spent 2 days for an english book. this one keep me hooked up. solat asar pun menjelang maghrib. punyalah kusyuk. and for the same reason, i was late for nurul's wedding. well.. not quite late if i may say. at the time of arriving, nurul was not there yet. and some other people are later than me. so i'd consider myself early but later than those people who got there earlier than me. hahaha.

today sherry, ijan & their families are coming over. wasih, diana, lelek, kak nah are also coming. bestnya.. sherry will be cooking the main dish. macam open house dia pulak kan? hehehe..

this year, my hubby was telling me "NO OPEN HOUSE", but if i were to invite my friends over, it's most welcome. last year we had a very grand open house. ramai sungguh org datang. and we could barely spend time with most of the friends. so this year, my hubby kata, lets spend more time with our friends. call them up. cook some dishes. and that's our open house this year. so sapa2 mau datang ke rumah, jemputlah ye.. i'll do some cooking. but please.. do not expect any lemang or rendang or local dishes. still learning.

so.. spaghetti anyone?

he he he

lama dah tak update ini blog... nak kata sibuk, tak jugak. nak kata banyak keje, pun tak jugak. nak kata lupa kat dunia blog, pun tidak jugak. time nak update, time tu la idea tak de. time tanak update, ada je lampu mentol menyala.

first and foremost, selamat hari raya. maaf zahir & batin.

this raya, kami di krai. ma dah balik awal ngan kak ti who then had to go back to PD. menyusul abe cha with kak na. patutnya abe chik sampai dulu. tapi nina sakit pewot, kami yg tiba awal. barulah dema. berjangkit rupanya sakit pewot ni. itu hari adam. muntah2 for several days. i dah cuak. takutlah2 kalo ada menda yg tak sepatutnya terjadi kan.. alhamdulillah, after few days, adam recovered. tapi jerih jugaklah nak tengok dia recovered pun.

back to raya. then kak ti balik and lastly abe ajih sampai. raya in krai was quite ok (kalo tak pasal kena ambush bendera jepun di pagi raya la.. huhuuuu). cuma perasaan lain sikitlah. ayah dah tak de. takde org tukang kerah bangun pagi raya. ada yg bising pun kak sah je. org datang raya pun a bit kelam kabut. selalunya ayah dah pegi umah nebers sume, then dia balik, dia akan suh sumer org kuar beraya. and dia jaga umah. org yg datang akan beraya dengan dia la. this year, sumer anak lelaki kuar. tinggalla menantu pompuan yg kurang kenal org kampung. setakat kak chik & kak ja ok lah. ramai dah org derang kenal. menantu sorang ni? hampehhhhh.. dahlah cakap pun fel, nak paham org cakap lagilah fel... kena makan budu banyak lagi ni...

balik hari jumaat. hari sabtu punyalah bercita2 tinggi nak jalan2 umah moktehlah, umah moksu la, umah mak lang la, umah kubba la, umah kak nurul la, umah kufee la.. eleh.. konon je.. sampainya 2 umah je. umah moksu & mokteh. itu pun dah kira baiklah tu.. hahahaha.. tula. sapa suh mak buat roti jala kan...

what else eh? tadi banyak idea. dah on ym, sembang2 sudah lupa sumer idea.. mentol pun dah malap je.. adam pun sudah bangun..

last nite pegi hantar mak ke kl sentral. on the way back, i sembang2lah ngan bapak. on air tengah berita. and one of the topics was on budak sekolah yg join mat rempit akan kemungkinan dibuang sekolah. bapak disagreed. he blamed the parents - which actually oppose my opinion. his reason was: parents yg tak carik quality time with the children. carik duit banyak2 sampai tak tau nak buat apa dengan duit tu. macam duit boleh bawak ke kubur. kuar keje sebelum anak celik mata. balik keje time anak dah pejam mata. bila masa nak dapat quality time dengan anak? nak sebut 3 words kat anak pun susah. macam manalah anak tak terikut peers yg bukan2.

in one sense... betul jugak apa dia kata. quality time. masa untuk parents & anak2. deep in me, i still blame oneself. but come to think of it.. betul la kata bapak.... macam mana oneself nak fikir kalo dia tak de peers yg betul2 guide dia. kan?

zaman la tak sama dengan zaman dulu. dulu mak kata A, A la dia. la ni, mak kata A, Z jadiknya. kata mak pak dibuat main. kata kawan2 didulukan. my time, i was in the middle. antara kawan & parents. i lebih rapat ngan my friends. but i fear my parents the most. nak2 bapaklah.. baru berdehem dah rasa nak terkucil. belum dia kata apa2 lagi.. hahahaha.. anak2 skang patut rasa beruntung. nak kasut nike, dibeli nike. kalo dulu, mintak adidas, dapat abibas. haruuuuu

time flies, years gone, and many more to come
things changed
country developed
standard of living increased
but oneself keep searching for an identity
mistaken sometimes...

manusia makin kurang didikan
pelajaran dialpakan
didikan dilalaikan
agama ditinggalkan
bangsa disorakkan
adat resam dilupakan
ke mana arah tuju? kemanakah haluan?
di manakah nanti anak cucu cicit kita?
masih mampukah berpijak di tanah yg nyata?
atau hanya bermundar mandir mencari cacing, mencari umpan di tanah org
atau mungkin hanya menumpang hangat dan dingin di kaki penjajah

bisakah mereka nanti berdiri megah?
insya Allah

3 years ago, this date

i was busy clearing up things. preparing for the big day of my life. relatives & friends came all over. and it was the same day as olya's - my same aged neighbour. in the morning, alin had her khatam quran. (did u really finished it ah? hehehhe)... and i was the mic "holder". poor thing.. hukum Allah tiba pada masa itulah jua.. uwan and the troop led the marhaban and things. so lovely.. masih terngiang2 sora lantang uwan.. for uwan, the whole troop decided to budge in. and along had to call for more cars to fetch them up. nasib baiklah kat kg pandan je.

by 12, things over. makan2. and rilex2. some who didnt really read the card, came in with question mark. why got khemah but got no perantin meh? got perantin, but perantin sanding malam ma....

so by 3++ tukang mekap datang and start to do her magical thingy. to change this poor lovely shrek to marvelous looking lady. heheheh.. done with it, then came along the puak2 kola krai. berdebar wehh.. brought down by nisha and witnessed the pahlawan melayu melafazkan akujanji before the pak imam, wali & pengesah2. amin. sekali lafaz aja. from that very moment, the new era of my life has begun.

salam. peluk. cium. nangis. gelak. congratulations. amin.

another event waiting. had to rush up and do another magical thingy. this time has to look extra marvelous than before. ha amik ko.. so lucky i had mak long intan to look at the baju sanding. rupanya the tukang baju didnt do the alteration. tak muat mek nak pakai. yada yada yada.

pak pong. pak pong. pak pong. tangan tukar tangan. jalan pelan2. kipas2. air mawar. daun2. lap tangan. salam. settle.. makan time. ingat boleh makan ke? tak de nyeeeeeee.. so for those yg nak makan beradap tu, kalo ada gastrik, nasihat i, makanlah awal2. hehehe..

things over by 11+. giler punya penat. tido. tido aje tau. ingat perantin tak de keje lain ke? harharhar

next week in kola krai.

ayah woke us up at about 5 am. too soon to realize that i was then waiting for rombongan dari kl at the side of the road. perghhh.. pagi2 kena tido tepi jalan tunggu bas. saba sungguh..

majlis menyambut menantu was pretty easy i guess. kompang pun takde. jalan ramai2. payung pun payung golf je. hahahahha. makan2. that's it. kena tinggal dek bapak & mak. huhu.. sedehhhh..

that's it la. all those happened 3 years ago. still fresh on my mind. how my pasangan lelaki got no pengapit. and the pengapit had to pinjam baju nikah my pasangan lelaki. duhhh..

but best thing was being so glamor la kan. asik amik gamba je. sampai senyum senget2. i think that's the thing that i enjoyed most la.

to my dearie muhammad ramadhan muhammad tahir, happy 3rd anniversary! love u before, love u now and will always love u. insya Allah.


i lupa tanya la.. u malaysian citizen ke? got ic or not?


ala cayang2 bucuk2. makanlah. i tau u lapa punya...


from krai with love (with bapak interframed)

ma (II)

gastrointestinal stromal tumors - "GISTs" is a rare kind of cancer. and that's what doc said about ma. yesterday they pushed ma to OT to have sample. but upon returned to ward, ma was still bleeding. docs were in and out. one in, then came another one. one out, two in. one running to nurse counter, the another one came rushing. and ma was on her way back to OT.

abe cha sms late nite saying ma's wound couldnt be stitched. and they had to glue it (well i dont know. glue seems not to be the rite word..) and ma had to be sedated and placed in ICU.

this morning mak called from penang. bp ma low, still sedated and on ventilator.

now che made is in HKL. waiting for news. and i'm here waiting for his call.

please pray for ma...

surat untuk uwan

assalamualaikum uwan,

kita tulis lagi ni. uwan apa kabo? sorrylah uwan. minggu ni kita cuti. kita tak dapat nak kasik uwan hadiah malam semalam. sorry ye..

apa kita nak update uwan eh.. ayah baru meninggal. dah masuk sebulan la. heart attack. kita tak sempat jumpa ayah. ntahlah uwan. nak kata ralat tak jugak. pikirkan ayah pegi senang aje, senang jugak ati ni rasanya. tapi mungkin sebab kita tak dapat manja ngan ayah lagi kan.. kita rasa sedih jugak uwan.. ayah kan uwan.. dia kalo cakap ngan kita suara dia gelak2. tapi bila dia lafaz "assalamualaikum" serius uwan.. macam kita dengar ucapan YB2 tu la.. hehehe.. alamak.. kita dah start rindu ayah. ye la uwan.. dah sebulan ni, terasa jugak kehilangan ayah. macam uwan jugaklah.. bila dah duk sorang2 mula la layan perasaan.

ma pun skang tak berapa sihat. ma still kat hospital. doc nak wat biopsy. biopsy apa? ntah.. kita nak cite ngan uwan pun kita tak tau. hahaha.. doc kata ma ada GISTs. adik beradik cancer jugalah uwan. cumanya cancer ma ni, jarang2 org dapat. sekarang macam2 uwan..

hari rabu lepas tok usu meninggal. bapak talipon. kita balik ngan made je. mak uteh & pak uda tak de. tak dapat datang. kita jumpala ramai sedara. tapi kan uwan.. banyak yg kita tak tau nama. malu kita. kalo uwan ada, mesti kita dah nempek tepi uwan. dapat tangkap satu nama pun jadiklah.. maklong yati pun tak ingat kita uwan.. sedihnya...

kita tengok sumer org kat situ, kita terkenang kat uwan. kalo uwan ada mesti uwan pun sibuk sama kan? time kita datang org tengah potong daun pandan. kita sempatlah jengah tok usu kat atas umah. maklong yati peluk tok usu kuat. sampai kena tegur ngan pakcik kat situ. poksu mami tanak cium tok usu. dia asik nangis je. opah usu lagilah uwan.. cite ngan kita pun asik mengalir je air mata. opah usu je yg ngadap tok usu. alhamdulillah opah usu kata tok usu dapat mengucap beberapa kali.

hari ni pulak kita dapat berita 2 org meninggal lagi uwan.. ma punya akak ipar dengan lecturer kita kat itm. akak ma tu memang sakit tua. lecturer kita tu dia kena breast cancer. cancer lagi uwan kan? ntahla..

time kat tanjung malim tu sempatlah jugak jumpa faizah. dia dah dapat baby. mohd noor hidayat. itulah nama, itulah panggilnya. berbelit lidah nak panggil. hehehe

nek mah jemput ke umah dia minggu depan. anak cik nani kawin. cik nani tu yg mana pun kita tak kenal uwan. nek mah datang umah jemput sendiri. kita cam segan pulak kalo kita tak pegi kan uwan..

nole pun dah kawin wan. minggu lepas. tapi kita tak stay sampai hari kat umah maklong. kita gi umah lia je. kita ada jemputan lain hari ahad tu. berhabislah maklong bela umahlah itulah inilah. amirul jadi tukang buat pelamin. cantik uwan.... kaler hijau lagi. maklong cium kita banyak kali. ntah kenapa ntah.. asal nampak muka kita dia salam. dia cium. peh tu dia nangis. tak taulah napa uwan. agaknya dia rindu kita kotnye kan? hehehe..

bulan ramadhan dah dekat uwan. kita tak dapat lagi rasa kuih uwan. dah 3 tahun kita tak makan sambal bilis uwan. kita buat sendiri tak sedap. bahulu jangan kata la.. memang kita fel. bila kita mengadap roti jala, kita tak boleh nak makan. kita terkenang roti jala yg uwan selalu buat untuk kita. roti jala diaorang ni lain uwan. tak sesedap air tangan uwan.

uwan.. kita rindu uwan. kita rindu nak peluk uwan. kita rindu nak gurau2, tolak2 uwan. bila kita tengok wan chik, kita teringat uwan. tengok opah usu, kita ingat uwan. sampaikan maklong (paklong shukur) pun ada cakap kat kita, "uwan kamu tak ada susah aku nak kenal kalian". betul uwan. selalunya apa2 berita semuanya daripada uwan. org meninggal, org kawin, org sakit. sumenya uwan yg kasitau. sumenya uwan yg talipon. skang ni apa2 berita pun, kami dapat lambatlah.. kadang2 tak tau berita apa2 langsung. sedih pun ada.. malu pun ada jugak uwan...

air mata ni sama lebat dengan ujan kat luar tu uwan. kita tak patut nangis kan? kita patut sedekahkan al-fatihah kat uwan. tapi kita rindu sangat2 kat uwan. rindu yg amat sangat.. kita nak peluk uwan. nak peluk uwan kuat2. nak cium uwan banyak2. tapi kita tak ada uwan. kita ada gambar uwan je. kita ada kenangan ngan uwan je...

oklah uwan. nanti kita tulis lagi. dah tak nampak skrin dah. berkabur je cemin mata ni pun. nanti kita tulis lagi ye uwan. jaga diri baik2. ingat ye.. kita sayang uwan. sampai bila2 pun kita sayang uwan...

this week

yesterday was my daling's birthday. donno what to get him. so i bought him a pic frame. i wanted to place a pic of myself & adam. but till the end, i couldnt find an interesting one. and i think he likes it. that's why he just put the card & the frame on the table. hahahaha.. put it somewhere la yayang.. cam tak appreciate i beli je tauuuuu

sherry (+ baby in the tummy), abg mirul, iskandar, bapak & big joe dropped by for dinner yesterday. nasik, tomyam & telur - the normal menu. my daling teman ma kat HKL. lucky me adam tak buat hal sangat. adala sikit cranky tengah malam tu, tapi things under control. sedar2 je my daling dah balik. and it was 5:30am. huh...

i received a text from akut last nite. i was pretty worried for her non-reply. and i pity her boyfriend for that reason. hehe.. hope things settled already :)

tomorrow we'll be in segamat for my cousin's wedding. then on sunday we'll be going to johan's wedding. first time i'm invited for a wedding ceremony that only last for 2 hours. starts at 12 and finishes at 2. pelik... we'll head to great eastern mall for bob the builder apperance. then petang sikit lagi head to abg cha's place for su-na's engagement ceremony.

perghh.. penatnya bulan kemerdekaan ni. asik berjalan je... end of the month balik kelantan. jalan lagi.. huhuhu...

trust

according to webster's new world pocket dictionary 3rd edition, trust means belief in the honesty, reliability. and simple word: believe

at the time or typing/writing, i've lost my trust on my neighbour, ms r.

i know there's time when u dont feel like going to work and u start to crample in ur bed trying to figure out a reason to have an mc. myself also like that. but not to the extend bohong sunat jadik bohong tak menjadik la kan.

1st incident, she took mc for 2 days. the first day, another colleague of mine met her loitering around in klcc. that's stupid thing to do la kan. u know u're on medical leave, nak loiter pun cariklah tempat yg jauh daripada office. apara.. that's one thing..

then came this incident. one wednesday morning, she text'ed me "i EL. kena balik ipoh. ayah panggil balik. family matters".

and i went "what????!!!! on wednesday? oh.. the father maybe jatuh sakit. or maybe it's really urgent matter. life vs death. fine" and at the same time, i had thinking like "takanlah ayah dia tak pikir anak dia keje. nak panggil balik pun hari rabu. tengah2 minggu. travel lagi apa lagi. then sabtu nak balik lagi sekali.." u know.. dolu2 kala yes la. some parents just dont care what the kids are doing. when-i-say-come-back-u-have-to-come-back thingy.. but nowadays parents are more tolerable. rite?

so the next morning, i asked her what had happened. she didnt opened her mouth but for "it's a family matters thingy la kak". ok.. fine.... fine with me.. but that's not until i saw in her diary "CHENTA'S birthday". hampeh minah ni.. nak celebrate birthday loved one pun sampai nak menipu. so that started the budak-ni-tak-boleh-percaya feeling.

that incident happened last week. the same weekend, she went home to ipoh. she said to continue the "family matters" incident. and monday she was on leave. tuesday, when i walked in, she was looking sick.

"kenapa ni?"
"ntahlah. rasa tak sihatlah... nak pegi klinik sat ye"

off she went. came back with some medications, which i dont know she took it or not. she told me she was having gastritis. buttttttttt... she could do photocopying thingy for more than 10 minutes. she could sit at the place until the end of the day. whooaaaaa.. if i were to have gastritis, i couldnt even sit up straight. what more with standing... but then again, an angel side of me were thinking, she mite have eaten her medication and recovered.

and this morning, i received a text read as "i'm on mc today. fever & gastric pain".. that's it la. confirmed she's not in my trustworthy person's list. me too have gastritis. but once u've taken the medication, had the burp, troot, prot or whatever the sounds like, it's gone. should be ok. should be fine. ini memang dah maleh nak keje la ni.. and worst thing still, i have to back her up. bloerghhh

tak pe.. tak pe... aiman tak kisahhhhh

taxi drivers

i've had flying colours experience with taxi drivers lately.

taxi 1, malay
situation: visit che nani & ammar

taxi driver: saya selalu pesan sama anak2 saya jangan lawan balik kalo ada org kacau. biarkan saja org buat kita. jangan kita buat org. saya cukup risau dengan budak2 sekolah zaman sekarang ni. takut saya kalau anak2 saya nanti org tunggu tepi jalan, kena buli, kena belasah. takut saya.... mintak dijauhkan la.

myself: tula.. budak sekarang budak dulu lain...

moral of the story: jaga anak kita baik2

*****

taxi 2, indian

situation: back from visiting che nani & ammar

taxi driver: saya sudah biasa bawak laju la kakak. lagi satu ini meter pun sudah biasa kakak. itu hari saya bawak isteri saya pegi shopping saya pigi tekan ini meter sampai bini saya cakap "sama bini pun mau pasang meter ka?" ayo.. susahlah kakak. saya sudah biasa, org naik teksi, saya tekan ini meter

myself: hahaha.. apa macam la u.. isteri pun u mau charge

moral of the story: practice make perfect

*****

taxi 3, malay, talking london

situation: visit ma

taxi driver: u working in klcc? i built klcc. but until now i'm not in klcc. u work for oil & gas company? i have an offer working in refinery plant. i built the refinery plant in melaka. u know this guy? (showed me a business card... macamlah aku kenal serata org dalam donia ni kan..) i still dont know if i want to work with him

myself: i want to go to the main building ya?

taxi driver: i dont know where's the main building

myself: ok. it's further up. here's the neuro dept. where the mental illnesses people are here.. heheh

taxi driver: yes. i was here before.

myself (dalam hati): ya Allah ya tuhanku, selamatkanlah hambaMu ini.......

moral of the story: berhati2 ketika memilih taxi

*****

taxi 4, malay

situation: balik visit ma

taxi driver: (all the way to klcc, silent saja... tenang rasa) nak turun di mana ya?

myself: di menara 2

taxi driver: di sana ya? (sambil menunjuk ke arah menara 2 menggunakan ibu jarinya)

myself: ya. terima kasih

moral of the story: budi bahasa budaya kita

*****

taxi 5, chinese

situation: visit ma

myself: uncle mau ikut jalan mana?

taxi driver: jalan tun razak

- silent. but along the way but i had to listen to an interview between these 2 ladies in mandarin. *sigh* -

moral of the story: learn other languanges.

*****

taxi 6, malay, indonesian

situation: back from visiting ma

taxi driver: kerja di sini ka?

myself: tak. lawat mak mertua

taxi driver: alah.. kalau setakat sakit lutut, kurang air di lutut tu tak payahlah bawa ke hospital. ubati sajalah di rumah. (then baru dia nak tanya:) sakit apa ibunya?

myself: tak pasti lagi. tapi katanya cancer

taxi driver: subhanallah.. itulah. jangan salahkan org lain. salahkan kerajaan. air yg kita minum tu bukannya bersih. saya ke ulu yam kalau mau mengambil air. tapi sekarang sudah ramai org. yada yada yada.. org kita ya bukannya tak ada kerja. tapi malas. saya ni, buat 2 kerja. saya bawa bas rapid kl dan saya bawa teksi. janji ada keringat. jalanla kerjanya. yada yada yada... manusia ni tak pernah cukup. macam di kampung saya ya, ada 1 emas tanah, mau 2 emas. ada 2 emas mau 3 emas. tidak pernah cukup. tunggulah nanti dia di liang lahad barulah cukup dirinya mungkin. pakcik saya seorang ya alim, kuat agama ya. dia kalau anak2nya tidak sembahyang dia hanya kata "mau mati atau mau hidup". cakapnya tidak banyak. tapi ya.. buat insaf. maaf ya. saya ini joyah sedikit. gurau2 tak apa ya..

myself: tak apa. terima kasih banyak2

moral of the story: i-n-s-a-f

those are the times i spent with taxi drivers within these 2 months. beautiful characters within human beings... indah sungguh ciptaan Ya Maha Esa..

ma

ma's case has been transferred to HKL. alhamdulillah. the least that my family & i could do the get rid the riddles of what's wrong with ma's health condition.

last monday i went to visit ma with adam & bapak. since i was so sleepy, i had to drag bapak along. nanti i bawak keta hoyong hayang pulak. sampai je wad 14 i saw somebody who looks just like ayah. dengan baju batik feveret ayah. cemin mata besar. pakai kopiah. height. body structure. memang sebijik ayah. berdegup kejap jantung ni.

"rasanya adik beradik ayah dah takde semuanya" - myself talking.
"dia dah nak pindah bilik ni", he showed the room infront of him
"aaaa.. tima kasih"

i rushed into ma's room.

"kak na, sapa tu?"
"makcik depan ni punya husband"
"oh! sebijik ayah....."

hehehehehe.. gelabah je i ni.

it has been a week now. after ding-dong here and there, ma finally got the attention. ma sakit about the same time ngan ayah. asik sakit perut. peh tu macam kena diarrhea. like ayah, ma also has been up and down hospital krai & kb. for about a year, still they cant conclude ma sakit apa.

yesterday che made brought home a news. ma probably a big "C" patient. tears run fast as i recited yassin. besarnya dugaan Allah swt.

rasa macam baru semalam ma pegang pipi i
rasa macam baru semalam makan sambal yg ma buatkan
rasa macam baru semalam ma jamu mee maggi dengan air milo
rasa macam baru semalam ma bersembang dengan i
rasa macam baru semalam ayah pegi tinggalkan kami

and today i have to embrace dugaan Allah once again.....

i doakan ma sihat
i doakan selamat segalanya
i doakan kesejahteraan ma

amin....

*kadang2 kita tak sedar kehadirannya sampailah tiba kehilangannya*

dangdut is the music of my country

lawak sehhhhhh

dangdut is the music of my country

sorry la.. i tried to embed the video clip here but then failed. click on the above link & selamat terhibur ya!!!

oh cik siti!!!

nak kawin tu kawin jela.... janganlah nak tutup jalan la apa la.. bikin susah la.... gua pegi mau keje pun susah, balik keje pun susah la....

kawin jela kat stadium bukit jalil ke stadium merdeka ke stadium negara ke.. kan ke lagi senang.... dewan pun besar. nak berdiri, nak duduk, nak berlunjur? ha.. sume boleh.. jangan kata keta kuda, nak bawak keta kebal pun bole..

dduuuuhhhhhhhh.......

ni bukan nak bersederhana lagi dah ni.. melampau (+ menyusahkan) yg sebenarnya ni.....

i wish...

rainy day. both me and che made woke up early. and we went out quite early this morning. i was in my car at 7.04 am....

an incident happened...

for this kancil bearing plate no WNT 5185,
if i were to nominate an idiot of the day, i'd name u as the "the best moron", stupid asshole!

*****

my tear dropped..
for the patience i've been losing,
for the honk i made this morning,
for the stupid car i've been cursing..

how i admire some special people
people like my deary husband
that would stay calm when i start panicking
that would prefer funny good things than bad saying

i wish.....
i have more patience

amin

ayah

kak sah called. katanya ayah sakit. dia suh balik. to both me and che made, kak sah ni kadang2 exaggerating sikit. so when she said ayah sakit, for us, oklah... ayah sakit. macam sakit2 biasa. ayah memang selalu sakit for the past few months. even for the past 1 year, ayah tak jejak dah kl. kalo nak jalan jauh pun setakat kemaman saja. no more kl. che made decided not to go back yet. at least org tu pegi, org ni balik. so that umah ayah sentiasa ada yg menunggu.

jumaat petang ayah mintak dihantarkan ke hospital krai. tak larat katanya. menurut kata, ayah stabil. cuma blood pressure ayah rendah. che made changed his mind. dia nak balik ngan kak ti. and abe chik called kata nak balik sekali.

pagi sabtu, baliklah kak ti, hannah & che made ke krai. abe chik & qistina balik ngan abe nan petang sikit. i felt a bit semacam... yelah, since sume cucu tok ayah balik, i think adam should go also. so i told che made, if need be, i'll be there with adam naik flite. lepas hantar che made di muka pintu, i masuk kitchen. tengah basuh tangan, i bau kemenyan. ah sudah.. apa pulak ni. in my mind - ada org nak meninggal ni. i had the same sign with arwah atuk. i lalu depan surau and bau kemenyan. few days after, atuk meninggal. and this time around, it kept me puzzled.

i quickly contacted kak amy and told her that che made & kak ti dah on the way. she asked me why didnt i tag along. i gave reasonable answer. tapi dari suara kak amy, ada yg tak senang. mmm... tak pelah.. petang tu lepas sofi bersihkan umah, i gi isetan. beli baju yg i dah book a day before kat mothercare. then jalan2 sket. while i tengah makan kat secret recipe, che made called. katanya, if i wanna go back, then call abe cha. maybe both me and adam boleh tag along. tapi i leka2 kol abe cha. sampai che made called lagi, barulah i call. dia kat bowling alley. i asked him to purchase 2 flite tickets for both me and my son. so arrangement to go back to krai settled. while che made on the way to krai, we were told ayah was then to be transferred to kb for further action sebab finally doc spotted ayah kena heart attack. che made, kak ti pun sempat jumpa ayah kat atas ambulance tu ajalah..

i gegas gi JJ nak carik bag pulak. che made dah bawak satu bag. and i need a hand luggage bag. in my mind still saying that i wont be there long. that's why i need only a hand luggage & knapsack so that i senang nak jalan ngan adam. sampai JJ, adam dah tido, so sofi kena jaga dalam keta. thanks a lot to sofi. kalo dia tak ada, i tak tau i nak wat camne.. berjujut la i ngan adam gamaknya.

sampai umah, i terus kemas barang. janji ngan bapak suh hantar i kl sentral kul 6.45 sebab flite kul 10.30. and i have to be there at least 2 hours earlier. 6:30 mak sampai ngan bapak. i tengah siap2. adam dah siap dah. bag sumer dah letak tepi. mak got a call from kak ti. then she made few phone calls to transfer ayah to first class ward. my thinking: since ayah dah sakit, kenapa nak bother about bed, carilah specialist.. tapi i tak voice out. i cuma tanya mak, betul ke kak ti nak first class bed? tapi kenapa i tanya mak, i pun tak tau...

we tried to call abe ajih, tak de jawab. call kak amy. dia kata abe ajih kadang2 put phone on silent. kena call banyak2 kali. call lagi. still tak de answer. call pulak wad bendahara. engaged memanjang. i still dalam umah. made called. "yang, u baca la apa2 yg patut". i dah teresak. something going to happen. but i dont want it to happen. at the same time, abe ajih contact balik. dia kata ayah dah tenat. mak gegas kami ke keta. cepat! nanti tertinggal flite. mak nak ikut. mak nak carik tiket, nak ikut sama. dalam keta mak still try to call wad bendahara. line got thru. kejap2 lagi "innalilah".. jatuh sumer air mata. speechless. wajah ayah langsung tak leh i gambarkan. i teresak. adam asik tanya "napa mama?" i call che made. no answer. call lagi. kak ti jawab. "ayah dah tak de na. sabarlah.. tapi tak pe. anak2 saudara ayah, abe ajih sumer ada". urghhh. beratnya.....

mak kata, cancel la tiket tu. balik sekali ngan mak & bapak naik keta. call abe cha. he sounded kusut. i called kak za. she sounds happy. urghh. mesti tak tau berita lagi.. "kak za, ayah dah tak de". kak za nangis tak henti.. i dah tak leh nak kusutkan lagi situation. i cakap mak, tak pelah.. i balik naik flite ngan adam. nanti mak balik ngan bapak naik keta. mak agree.

malam tu balik la i ke krai ngan abe cha, kak za, iman, kak chik & bibik. kak na, kak nah & abe we ada sekali. tapi tak kelihatan atas flite. kak chik & kak za asik menangis. abe cha breakdown dalam erl. sumer org rasa terkilan. i baru je lepas cakap ngan ayah 19hb lepas. pagi lepas che nani bersalin. we were laughing for ammar weighing 4kg. bukan gelakkan apa, tapi sukalah dengar ammar sihat. and 4kg sounds so big la kan... i ingat lagi ayah gelak2. i ingat lagi ayah cakap2 ngan i.....

sampai kb, che made dah tunggu... sayu... terus gerak ke krai. dalam keta, kak chik as first menantu dalam family che made, asik bercite pasal ayah. i menantu bongsu & latest in the family. tak banyak pasal ayah yg i leh kongsi. but then i ingat lagi time ayah first time jumpa i. time ala2 merisiklah. nak balik tu, ma pegang pipi i. senyum je tengok i. ayah pulak peluk i. dalam hati time tu, i ni bukan anak dia lagi. but i feel so glad. he hugged me as i'm already his daughter. i was so touched that time...

tiba krai, i berdebar. abe ajih & abe chik sambut kami. kak ti sambut kami kat tangga umah. i ngan kak chik nangis tak sudah... naik atas, tengok ayah terkujur kaku. abe cha buka penutup muka ayah. i ok lagi. then i mintak kak ti bukak lagi sekali. i dah tak leh tahan. sayu.. sayu sangat2. adam tido, i temankan che made baca yassin. hukum Allah halang i dari sedekahkan yassin buat masa ni. habis baca yassin, i nak tengok ayah dari dekat. i nampak kak chik cium ayah. i nak cium ayah jugak. tapi i takut. tapi i berfikir balik. kalo i tak cium ayah sekarang, i tak leh cium ayah lagi buat selama2nya. i gi dekat. i cium ayah. ayah nampak tenang. terlalu tenang. cam org tido aje. ayah senyum. rasa macam nak suruh ayah bangun. rasa macam nak suruh ayah cakap2. rasa cam nak goyang bahu ayah, suruh ayah bangun dah berbual lagi. tapi hampa. ayah kaku. ayah sejuk. ayah senyum. tapi ayah tak mampu berkata2 lagi...

i masuk tido. besoknya ma baca yassin tepi ayah. lepas baca, ma pegang pipi ayah. mungkin masih berharap sumernya mimpi. ma macam belangkas ngan ayah. mana ayah pegi, situlah ada ma. ma ngan ayah sentiasa bersama. but ma was so strong. dia tak nangis. org lain nangis bagai nak rak, tapi ma tak. ma tenangkan org lain. ma was so calm.

sudah kapan, i cium ayah buat kali terakhir. syahdunya. adam nangis kuat. che made pun nangis. lepas solat, gegas ke kubur. kat krai, sumanya pantas. ayah ke liang lahad pun tak ditunggu anak2nya sampai. nasib baik abe ajih & abe cha laju. sempat sambut ayah ke persemadiannya. sumer sedih. suasana sayu. ma siram kubur ayah. ma hela nafas. ma nangis sikit. barulah nampak air mata ma. cucu2 tok ayah & anak menantu ayah yg ada sedekahkan bekalan untuk ayah. mintak diampunkan dosa2 ayah.

ayah start sakit lepas makan pengat durian. dia muntah on the way nak hantar kawan ma ke kursus haji. "nyawa tak sedap" kata ayah. dari umah ke hospital krai. dari hospital krai ke hospital kb. akhirnya ayah di hospital kb. ayah resah nak terkucil. tiub tu halang nak kucil. ayah minta buka. dah buka, ayah buang air dalam pampers. lepas buang air, ayah mengadu lelah. "leloh pulok doh. tok penoh leloh lagu ni" lepas beberapa kali tarik nafas, ayah hela nafas terakhir. ayah pegi amat mudah. terlalu mudah. itulah akhirnya bagi seorang yg kuat solat macam ayah. org tak putus2 ziarah sebagaimana ayah sewaktu hidupnya. ayah sentiasa pegi melawat org. ayah tak penah lupa call kami anak2nya. ayah call besan2nya. walau sekejap, bagi ayah, jadilah.. daripada tak ada langsung. ayah tak suka putus saudara. ayah carik saudara2nya.
padanlah i asik terbayang2 tarikh 22 july. asik tertanya2 apa nak jadik on 22 july. birthday org ke? ada org kawin ke? ada apa.. rupanya ayah nak pegi....

banyak pengalaman dengan ayah. walaupun hanya 3 tahun i sempat manja ngan ayah, he played big roles in my life. ayah is someone special. dalam terkilan, i rasa bersyukur dengan pemergian ayah. bersyukur dengan masa2 yg i dapat dengan ayah. bersyukur dapat berjumpa dengan org seperti ayah. dalam tegas, ayah baik hati. dalam keras katanya, ayah rasional.

insya Allah, anak2 ayah sudah dididik dengan baik. anak2 ayah patuh dengan tanggungjawab mereka. ayah dah tak ada. tanggungjawab mereka pada ma seorang takan dilepaskan. ma akan ke KL next week. kak ti akan uruskan tanggungjawab ayah. ayah usah risau.

muhammad tahir muhammad
26 March 1936 - 22 July 2006
7:05 pm
acute coronary synorome (instemi) with upper git bleeding
hospital raja perempuan zainab ii, kota bharu

al-fatihah

dengar sini wahai sahabat semua!!!

ehem.. ehem..

1.. 2.. 3...

testing.. testing...

assalamualaikum dan salam sejahtera

dengan ini, saya dengan sukacita dan bangganya mengumumkan kehadiran ahli baru dalam family tree kami.

baby boy ini telah selamat dilahirkan pada pukul 12:42 malam. (consider 19 july 2006 la kan?)

yipppppieeeeee!!!

alhamdulillah....



nota kaki:
bukan baby saya ye... ni baby big joe & che nani.

my weak-end

yesterday i took EL and spent a day with adam. and today he doesnt wanna go to maknek's. poor ayah kena pujuk anak tercinta..

i started my saturday with wedding at my xboss's kenduri. it was his 2nd daughter's wedding. b4 that i met a long friend of mine - johan. dah nak kawin dah dia.. after the wedding we went to toys r us to find gifts for che made's little nieces & nephews. abg ajih and family was on the way to kolakrai and stopped to fetch kak sah. so we had makan2 at kakchik's. yummy.... dah dekat kul 11.30 pm baru balik umah. letihnye...

then on sunday we went to iskandar's (sherry's) birthday party. then myself headed to alpha angle. the 4th day in a row. heheh.. i was in AA on thursday for saja2 jalan2 sambil carik kasut kak sah. sambil2 jugak tengok talipon baru. on friday pegi lagi. this time bawak mak & alin and also beli henpon baru. then saturday pegi lagi. sebab nak beli hadiah anak2 sedara che made. then sunday for the RALK's meeting. after the meeting i had a minum2 petang with ad & diana. sessi "suai kenal" rakan2 seperjuangan :)

i think if AA ada kasik hadiah saguhati untuk pengunjung terbanyak dalam satu minggu sure i dah boleh register.. hahaha

then that sunday nite, makmok (che nani's mom) came with the other sisters.

what a weekend kan?

and i have to make this announcement:

"saya dengan ini meminta maaf kepada suami saya yg tercinta kerana saya telah terleka bersama rakan2 saya sehingga menyebabkan suami saya tidak dapat menghadiri gathering bersama ahli keluarganya. saya mintak ampun dan maaf banyak2 sangat.. sangat yg amat sangat..."

i feel bad

sorry dear

ME?

life kindda cruel - at times
but who am i to say NO to these cruelty
who am i to judge what cruelty has caused me
who am i to push it away...

am i too weak to accept it?
am i too vulnerable?

where's my strength?
where's my courage when i need it most?
where's my desire when i need it to drive me?
where's my "U KNOW U CAN DO IT" motto inside me?

i've lost it all
i've left it behind
i let it drift away

but..

could i get it back?
can it be partial of me... again?
can i stand strong?
can i seat straight?
can i face the world the old way i look at it?

start now.. i have to make start now...
1, 2, 3
on ur mark, get set, go...

make it happen
make it a reality

yeah!!!!!!

*****

i'm still contemplating....

sigh...

budi bahasa budaya kita

ehem... ni post ke seratus ni.. ehem.. ehem..

my colleagues and i had a chat in the pantry the other day. literally, talking about budi bahasa of our kids. with me were 3 mothers whom each has kids with "outraging" behaviour, to be precise, can i say rude? mother A was telling me about her 7 years old daughter mimicked her after she got scolded. and mother F told us her 4 years old daughter rotan her for being late for dinner. while mother AF complaining about her son. and there i was, thinking about adam.. what kind of person would he be? hmmmm...

the 3 mothers agreed on 1 thing. school and friends at school are bad inluence. which partial of me actually agree to. yelah.. kita bukannya tau all the kids' background at school. and nowadays, there's no more surprise that kids at home are so obedient. but at school - masya Allah...

ntahla.. personally i think, it's not the influence. it's the person itself. kalo dia nak, dia nak. kalo dia tanak, dia tanak.. kan? like bigjoe. bapak was a heavy smoker. but he's not. so to put the blame on the friends, the family or the environment, i think it's not fair. i always believe, the problem starts with oneself.

** this is not what i thought this morning.. tretttt.. tretttt.. hilang idea.. hilang idea... **

for instance, adlin vs saleem . what adlin did was a bit harsh. and what saleem did was mengada-ngada.. bapak pun kata, with saleem's background, he cannot think that the community will easily accept him just the way he was. yes i know.. yang lepas tu lepas. yes.. correct. but we can never forget what had happened in the past. aite? adlin was right to say that. it's just that, it wasnt the right time and not the right place.. (cewah.. cakap cam H dalam CSI.. ngehngehngeh)

during my younger days, i dare not to look at mak whenever she gave me the "STOP IT" stare. i'd seal my lips when bapak & mak were talking. rush to the other part of the house when there were visitors. pegi depan hanya untuk salam & hantar air. boleh pegi main, but maghrib is time to balik umah, tutup pintu & tingkap. no lepak. no shopping mall without bapak & mak. nak main talipon pun ketaq tangan... and the most expensive food for me at that time was chicken chop with gravy and fresh orange in cozy corner, ampang park - mak & bapak yg orderkan.

huhu..

world cup fever

both me and che made including adam went to kedai mamak for our breakfast on sunday morning. for this period of time, it's only world cup games on the tvs. and i bet most of the kedai are also like that. what to do.. bola pun bola la..

so there i was being naive about football but yet trying really hard to stay focus on what "WORLD CUP" is all about..

"why is the ref wearing the microphone headset?"

"to communicate with the linesmen"

"ohh! kewl.."

then i watched and watched and watched while my tangan suap adam with the chapati..

"sure the ref needs to be fit all the time kan?"

"a'ah.. kena lari naik turun padang"

"eh eh.. ref tu senyum.. kiut jugak kan dia ni?"

"ler....."

hahahha.. a lady will always be a lady la kan?

*****

for the first time ever, i watched england vs ecuador from the clock start ticking until the ref blew the whistle. football fan wannabee la kononnya...

beckham was doing the free kick

"yang! lets teka. beckham boleh score ke tak?"

"ntah"

"ala.. u ni.. teka je la"

"susah nak gol ni"

"ohhh...!"

and beckham missed it. yet i watched and watched and watched while ironing my baju keje

"GOOLLLLLL"

dejavu huh.... tho beckham didnt make it thru his first free kick, but the one that he scored was still "HIS" free kick kan? kan? kan? so am i terer or not? hahahah..

*****

milah buntu. abu masih sebut nama2 perempuan dalam tidurnya. sudah 3 bulan milah berasa hati. nak ditanya takut dikata cemburu. nak diselidik tak tau di mana nak mula. yang milah tau sejak annual dinner company abu bulan februari lalu, abu mula mengigau2 dalam tidurnya. malam ni rashidah. malam besok bibah. malam lusa piah pula. nak kata tergilakan AF, tak ada pula nama peserta AF yg disebutkannya..

"apa kata ko pegi jumpa bomoh?" cadang combi, rakan sekerja milah

"hish.. aku tak berapa percaya bomohlah"

"ala.. cuba saja.. tak luak pun..."

akhirnya milah termakan pujukan combi. pergilah mereka ke kg sireh pulang ke gagang. katanya ada bomoh yg handal. diceritakanlah masalahnya pada bomoh tersebut.

"beginilah... awak balik, buat solat hajat. banyakkan2 doa. masak kan dia masakan yg sedap2. kalo ada masa buatkan kuih2. pop corn ke. air tu pastikan sentiasa ada. air kopi ke air nescafe ke. saya pasti mulai bulan depan dia takkan lagi sebut nama2 tu" kata bomoh itu

baliklah milah dengan combi dengan harapan setinggi gunung...

datanglah bulan jun dgn membawa harapan milah. malam pertama tak ada nama perempuan. milah suka. malam kedua pun tak ada juga. milah bertambah suka. bersyukurlah dia pada Yang Esa. doanya makbul. tapi sukanya milah tak berpanjangan... masuk hari ke sembilan, abu mula mengigau. dan milah bertambah kecewa.. milah mengadu lagi pada combi.

"bi... hari ni baru 15 jun. aku baru je seronok2 abg abu tu tak sebut nama perempuan lagi. tapi kali ni aku rasa lagi kroniklah.. aku rasa bomoh tu dah tipu aku... "

"awatnya milah? dia sebut nama sapa pulak kali ni?"

"ni yg aku lagi susah hati ni... nama pompuan dah tak de dah.. ni nama laki pulak kali ni.. peh tu nama omputeh je sumernye"

"nama omputeh?"

"a'ah.. kelmarin nama rooney.. semalam nama beckham. malam dulu tu owen pulak. ko agak abg abu tu gay ke?"

"hotak hanggggg.. laki hang gila bola la tu"

"oohhh.. lagu tu ka???"

*****

i've typed this post yesterday. suddenly my pc hang-ed. and i didn't save it. so there u go.. i've to type it all over again.. dan ceritanya dah tak seperti kurancangkan semalam.. idea dah hilang...... huhu...

alamak! apa nama dia eh....

i bumped into my former boss last nite.

"assalamualaikum.. amboi berdating 2 org."

bla bla bla bla..

then suddenly.. hati kecil ku berkata "apa nama bini dia ni eh? kak yam ? eh bukan.. kak yam tu anak dia. bibah? eh. siti? eh.. apa eh.. macam tak kena je nama dia ni.. nor? eh.. apa eh.. aduhai......"

so the conversation went on without myself addressing the wife's name.

"jumpa lagi"

tata titi tutu

then i voiced out "kita lupa la nama bini dia.. apa eh?"

"normah" mak replied

"aaaaa.. normah!!! macam mana la boleh lupa.. eh.. macam mana mak boleh ingat?"

"u've told me the other day"

"a'ah.."

we then headed to johnny's for dinner

2 things:

1) mak boleh ingat nama org.... selalunya dia main bedal je nama sapa2 pun. ntah baper kali she mistakenly called my friend izwa as najwa. mmm... misteri nusantara tu..

2) last time when i was working with this boss, i called her wife kak normah. and they have a lovely daughter that i called kak yam. come to think of it, macam mana pulak wife dia pun i panggil akak, anak dia pun i panggil akak... the mother should be aunty to me la kan? sebab my friend whom happen to be their neighbour panggil the mother: aunty. so i yg muda 1 tawon daripada neighbour dia tu should call her aunty as well la kan? mmm.... misteri jugak kan?

hahahahaha..

note to kak yam: jangan cakap sama abah.. malu saya.. :)

x-men the last stand

i tuang keje for 2 hours for x-men last monday.. ;)

che made la.. dia boring sama dia punya conference then he bought 2 tix for the movie. 11:40am till 1:30pm. tak de org sangat pun.. i'm not into fiction movies basically. but for my dearie darling, oklah.. go la.. ponteng pun pontenglah... for u i will.. harharhar

it was a kewl movie. dah tengok? best kan? wolverine is as usual, the alltime fav. and since che made nak sangat jadik wolverine, i kena jadik storm la.. pusing2.. swooooshhhhhh..

but i like kitty the best!!!

she's kiut kan? hei.. a lady will always be a lady la kan.... daaaaa....

back to the movie.. it was a great one. tho i kindda not really grooving into it, but can do la.. and of course a bit of distraction to che made when i kept on asking "why he's like that?", "what's her power?", "takutlaaaaaa...".. but i tried my best, didnt i? hahaha..

and jane minus phoenix = more beautiful... hehehe.. what did i tell u? i'm a lady right? hahahahah..

one thing kan.. in movies that i've watched (which not so many.. ), asik2 muka mamat ni. jadik jahat pun dia. baik pun dia. LOTR pun dia jugak. then i watched apa eh.. muka dia jugak.. kalo muka org tua sikit memang muka dia je ke yg available? aiseh.. ni peluang baik untuk m. rajoli mengembangkan bakat ke holiwud ni... :D

see.. i still dont talk about the movie. asik2 cakap pasal the actors & actresses.. i rest my case la. i dun know what to talk about this movie. go la watch. it's an interesting one. especially to those yg tak de keje & nak ponteng keje cam i.. muahahahaha..

mmm....

doc kata, kalo bapak kena satu kali lagi attack, then that's it.... gulp!

lost of words....

love the people around u while u can..
care about the people besides u while they are still there..
be there for them when they need u the most..

i lost uwan 2 years ago...
and the tears are yet to dry

this one?
no... i'm not ready for it..

it's just
not yet...

tak yahlah bawak kami bercuti sakan..

hehehhe... i've just come back from our family day in swiss garden, damai laut, lumut. nice place. nice people. but maybe it's just US (read: myself & my hubby) who doesnt really enjoy travelling. reason why we found damai laut as just a plain place for vacation. it's not more than that. poor us. we didnt go anywhere. we didnt try any activities. we didnt even go to the swimming pool..... huduhlaaaaa.. hahahahah

when some of my colleagues were arguing over rooms, i just took what they gave. whilst the room service are trying their best to locate these people, i simply asked the concierge to send our luggage to the room. tengok batang pokok kelapa pun tak pe... kami tak kisah.. hahahha.. we are so plain...

as some of the children were eager to get into the swimming pool, adam was enjoying his sleep. and when the kids were enjoying themselves with the blue beach, my dear adam was busy loading his truck with sands.

poor us.. hehehehe...

but we sure load our boot with lotsa prizes. upon arrival we got t-shirts for the telematch also a bag with sun protector lotions. adam got this cute little "survivor kid" consists of stationeries, water bubbles, whistle, yoyo and also a colouring book. adam also got a bob the builder merchandise worth rm50. i bought it for him, later the company reimbursed. and that's for the telematch present. then both me and che made got SIGG bottle each for the telematch - this bottle is so expensive beb. rm80 per bottle. what else eh.. aaa... i got RM300 isetan voucher for the lucky draw - well.. it's actually for everyone, so tak heranlah dengan hadiah org lain.. hahahahha.. giler punya best kan??

for some reason, i feel really bersyukur ke hadrat Illahi for giving me strength to leave SAF. it was a tough decision. but i have to do what i have to do... tho my company is not offering me as much as my previous company did. but i sure value my stay here, in CSMP. what else should i ask for? none except for better environment and professional people to work with... and a great team work..

happy fathers' day

to dearest bapak,
thank u for the days u've been with me. "u" with the stubborn head and "u" with the screw loose head. the same "u" has filled my days with laughs and tears. the same "u" has been with me thru my ups and downs. tho there are times that i was hurt with what u said and done, i guess it's just "u". the same "u" that will never change. the same "u" that has given me much love and care. u're just simply the best.

to dearest ayah,
thank u for being the best father-in-law. since the first day hug till the never end care u've given me. thank u for the great 3 years.


to my darling hubby,
thank u for being a great father to my adorable son.

there's much to say. but no words may describe it. it's here in the heart. let it be there...

*****

bapak was recently diagnoised (betul ke eja ni?) with heart problem. he wasn't aware of this problem until he was rushed to HTAR. thank Allah for giving the sign. for at least, we could take care of him. and not to see him lying breathless. bapak has made his "akujanji" for not smoking anymore. Alhamdulillah.. and bapak has to take extra look on what he's eating. as he has some artery blockage to his jantung he has to get consultation from speacialist in IJN. poor bapak. his trip to swiss is cancelled. and he has to tone down his activities. it's just not bapak.. but he has to live with it. for his own good. and we, being the people besides him will always render the support.

*****

i was watching buletin utama last last wiken. news on the teachers being transferred. and i was a bit pissed off with this malay lady teacher. her words was something like this "saya sudah mengajar lebih 18 tahun. mengajar di lembah kelang lebih daripada 16 tahun. sudah membeli harta di sini dan plan nak bersara di sini. saya akan pergi juga mengajar di sana kalau sudah diarahkan. tapi saya tak akan mengajar dengan baiklah". bang! - bodohnya cikgu ni..... dah pasang nawaitu awal2 dia tak nak mengajar dengan baik. dah niat macam tu, macam tulah akan jadik. apa nak jadik cikgu2 la ni? at least give it a try la... lemme see.... those askar, polis, diplomat. ingat derang suka ke nak pegi tempat2 yg jauh daripada family tu? suka sangat? suka sangat berpindah randah ke sana sini? suka ke? cikgu tu baru kena pindah sekali. dah songel.. tu dia tak pikir cikgu yg dah dari awal kena transfer ke pedalaman. ada dia tolong pikirkan sekali? nilah dia.. sometimes we are too ignorant. arrogant. asik pikir diri sendiri tanak pikirkan org lain. cakap main ikut sedap. kalo nak kuarkan statement macam tu, pikirlah dulu.. nasib baik jugaklah gambo dia blur. kalo gambo dia tak blur, memang bikin malu satu keturunan... easy word from me - she's so stupid for being a teacher... lebih baik dia carik keje lain. jangan jadik cikgu. macam ni ke contoh cikgu yg nak memajukan anak bangsa? macam ni ke contoh cikgu yg akan memberikan pendidikan yg sewajarnya untuk anak2 didiknya?

"baiklah murid2, hari ni awak buatlah apa yg awak nak buat. saya tak ada mood nak mengajar. saya asik merindui anak saya di kolalompor. saya sebenarnya tak nak mengajar di sini. tapi sebab diarahkan datang oleh itu saya datang jugak mengajar di sini demi anak bangsa saya" ;P

lepas tu anak murid kurang ajar, cakap mak bapak tak mengajar? cehhhhhhh.... piraaaaaaaah

my perspective

i watched buli balik last 2 weeks. i bought the VCD quite some times ago. i guess i'm just lousy in watching vcd or dvd. beli sekian lama but it'll take me ages to watch it. i bought the perantin-what-what-what (dono the exact title), which also afdlin in it, but still till now i havent watch it. not to say not enough time, but dono la.. just dont have the "appetite" to watch it yet.. hehehe

i guess i just love to watch afdlin's movie. he's a natural comedian. tengok dia aje dah gelak. itu belum tengok dia berlakon lagi. nak kata i've been tailing his movies, xtvts, career thingy - not really la. but whenever it's afdlin's, i'd like to have it, watch it, listen to it.

i've watched most of his movies. but so far i loved his acting in soal hati the best. i think that's the best from afdlin. i dont know whom he was in biar betul. and i just walked off after few minutes watching it. dun feel attach to that movie. not as much as soal hati. serious punya cakap. i tak ingat baper kali i khatam tengok soal hati.

i read most of his view in his blog. he speaks his mind. good thing! some people (artists in particular) just go winding up here there and end up saying nothing good at all. but with afdlin, he has points. good ones indeed. moreover, i'm in his YG. but sad thing to note, he's not into it. well, my point is that he's not there as much as adibah noor with her YG. still the connection between fans & himself is there - there's string attached. flash mobs for movies, teh tarik break, etc. we can see afdlin "turung padang". things got compensated in many ways right?

actually i wanted to write about buli balik. (tajuk my entry i ni pun dah baper kali tukar ni..) but got carried away with afdlin. hehehehe.. honestly, i just couldnt get hooked with buli balik. not so interesting i guess? i've read comments from his fans on the movies. and most are very positive. and in my thinking: "this must be a good movie. ramai yg tengok sampai namblas kali". mmm.. poor thing. once is just enough for me. it's not afdlin. but more to hans isaac. i rasa dia kaku dalam buli balik. macam terlalu "berlakon". i cant talk as a person who understands arts so much. i'm just a fan. i'm just a plain movie catcher. mungkin ada expresi dia yg i tak faham as non-arts person. so, too bad... i just look at hans as 0 - zero. i tengok dia macam org yg baru belajar belakon. and nasha too. i dont know why.. but the 2 movies that i watched recently had hans & nasha in it. lagi satu cite ada apek tu. ntah cite apa ntah.. lupa plak. still hans and nasya look so - what would be the nice word eh... mm... ntahlah.. so tak reti berlakon? can i say it? he looks so jalaludin hassan. hahaha. sorrylah.. i dont like jalaludin hassan. he's so fake la.. sorry ye.. anyway, hans looks ok in baik punya cilok tho.

lately i've been watching quite a number of movies, dramas, cerekarama. most are malays. layan mood. heheh.. kalo dulu i suka jugak tengok rosyam noor, but not today. bagi i lakonan dia sama je. baik cite gangster, romantika de amour, komedi, sumer cam sama. dah tak nampak kelainan dia dalam satu2 cite. tengok iklan dia pun i rasa semacam. hahahah..

even i think rashid sibir has lost his touch. cite dia pun ala2 lebih kurang sama je sume. oh! maybe sebab dia asik amik pelakon yg sama? asik2 fauziah nawi as mother yg sakit. peh tu meninggal? and asik2 anak yg tinggalkan mak & kuarga? ntahlah.. but then i still look forward for rashid's better products.

i like m. rajoli. kalo kasik dia jadik org bujang, memang org bujang lah dia. jadik pak imam, memang menjadik pak imamnya. suh jadik org kaya, memang lagak org kaya. jadik org semikin, memang sebijik org semikin. i hope one day, he'll get an award for the work he has rendered.

org selalu kata cite melayu tak best. cite melayu tak de ummpph. one side of me say "a'ah.. betullllll". whilst another side say "there's always room for improvements". but how far that the producers/filmmakers wanna make improvements? sejauh mana sebenarnya ukuran filem @ drama melayu? semacam mana sebenarnya minat org melayu nak tengok filem @ drama melayu? sejauh mana sebenarnya these people wanna make good film? berapa kerat yg actually minat nak buat sesuatu yg baru? sesuatu yg menyuntik minat org2 melayu hargai filem org melayu? masing2 berangan nak jadik p.ramlee. tapi kualiti as p. ramlee? masing2 jadikkan p.ramlee idola. tapi biler mendeliver sesuatu produk? hampeh.... i masih ingat the best drama i've ever watched. lagu selina - ada harith iskandar. that one was a good one...

i rasa myself as viewer dah bosan dengan cite yusuf haslam. come back to reality dato'. i cukup letih dengar bahasa dalam his movies........ tolonglah!!!!!! i rasa org melayu skang dah pandai memilih cerita yg sesuai untuk mereka. dulu kita tak ada pilihan. tengok aje cite apa yg ada. but now we have a lot. a looooooooot. i think gol & gincu was great. sepet disebabkan i tak tengok habis, i reserve my comment. PGL was also good. except that i dun really like tiara. heehehe.. gangster was lousy.

i rasa org sekang nak tengok reality. cite2 based on reality. bukan fantasi lagi. macam nama je pun akademi fantasia. but it's a reality show. kan?

paris hilton made in ampang

first incident, she came to me and passed me her streamyx bill and asked me to pay the bill at the post office. "u go la at 2 ke 3pm. that time tak banyak org". as i was new that time, amik jelah bill tu and headed to the post office. then only i realized "eh eh... wat gapo aku sini..."

then another one fine day she asked me to follow her shopping for family day's thingy. which at first i said ok, then i said not ok, then i said ok after she insisted i go with her. dahlah sakit kaki kan plus additional amazing race with mr. mo that morning. janji nak balik kul 3. kul 5pm baru sampai opis balik. so lucky mr. mo was ok with it. kalo tak, sure i sudah kena "u're fired" sama itu boss. malu siut gi shopping ngan dia. she checked all items. i repeat ALL ITEMS. those in the plastic pun dia bukak. she tried all for quality checking. then she didnt want to take the thing that she has opened. she took new thing on the shelf. giler punya malu la time tu. i never did that. never in my whole life. and please...... dont do that! for me, it's sooooooooooooo not ethical. tobatlah pegi beli barang dengan dia.. tobat! tobat!

and yesterday at 2pm. i repeat at 2 (two) pm she asked me to go down and buy her charkoeytiaw with extra togeh & spice. this time i'm not going to be hynotised anymore. no more... and thanks to my workstation neighbour for not being there yesterday. "emm.. sorry lah.. i tak turun. nanti tak de sapa kat depan" tolopeh den...

i bukan nak berkira. but those are ur personal things. buatlah sendiri. kan? kan? according to the org chart, i dun have any lines attached to her. dotted lines pun yilek. kalo sambil2 i nak turun lunch tu oklah. i leh tapaukan. but myself pun tak turun lunch . ape ke hal pulak i nak rajin2 turun belikan untuk dia. kan? kan?

itulah kisah paris hilton made in ampang di opis saya.

sekian tima kasih

happy birthday adam!!!

UPDATED!!!!

on this day, 2 years ago, i had a new chapter in my life. i have a dearie son. and time flies.. adam has today turned two.

adam's birthday bash was great. it's just that the birthday boy woke up at 5pm... sorrylah kepada mereka yg lama menunggu. pak long & mak long gave (eh... ke kena bayar balik eh?? eh tapi mak yg amik kek.. mmm...) a big "the incredibles" cake. next year la kita beli kek "bob the builder". those yg sempat tengok adam tengok kek would agree that adam was so funny. he was so excited tengok lilin. malam tu suh ayah pasang lilin nak tiup api lagi. hai.. adam.. adam..

thanks to kak ziana for the tasty mee hoon goreng. and also kak yati's for the delicious nasik kerabu. not forgetting pak long again for the nasib-baik-cukup-roti-jala.

thank u for those who made it to the party. namely:

• aunty eja, ma & hubby (mabuk2 pun datang juga.....)
• aunty diana (amboi...... taulah keje daimler..... ) & aunty nah
• aunty sya & anak sedara
• atuk kero, nek yah, aunty qaisara & aunty dania
• aunty ina and sepupu
• the muka usual pakcik iqbal, pakcik aman (+ deli) and pakcik fendi
• aunty nor & family
• aunty yati & kids
• aunty irwa, aunty farah, aunty tinie, aunty irma & mmm.. couldnt recall the name
• mak nek, syafiq, intan & aleen
• uncle fik, uncle "barney" bob and aunty ajai
• uncle fazlan
• aunty "next door" shida & family
• uncle madi & kids
• tok uteh, nek uteh, mak ngah, mak lang, mok su intan, acik syafiq & acik aqim
• aunty sherry
• ayah cha, mummy ja & kakak iman
• aunty ayu, uncle sham, abg shafiq & baby shaqir
• natasha & douglas lim (hehehe.. ada artis datang umah saya... hehehehe..)
• aunty flora

i hope i dun miss anyone in the list. and also many thanks for the gifts. sudah penuh rumah saya dengan pemainan adam..

to well wishers, thank u also.....

all together now...

happy birthday to u..

happy birthday to u..

happy birthday to adam..

happy birthday to u..

will update the pics sent by uncle fazlan tonite! tunggggggguuuuuuuu

HERE U GOOOOOO...

my four

been tagged by kak yam. hehehe....

Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. temporary cashier (it was my ambition back in 1984 ;))
2. part time administration assistant
3. freelancer for market research company (still hang on to it)
4. secretary (still i am)

Four nicknames I've been given:
1. dikna (nama time kecik2, cumil2 dulu la)
2. met (hehehe... few people je panggil ni)
3. anne (got the name from itm)
4. anna

Four movies I have watched over and over:
1. bob the builder
2. the little red tractor
3. jojo's circus
4. pokoyo
(all listed are adam's movies actually... sob sob sob.. where got time to watch movies since adam tau tengok tv, dia je konker)

Four places I have lived:
1. lorong G1, kg pandan
2. jalan E2, taman melawati
3. au5, lembah keramat
4. au4, taman sri keramat

Four TV shows I love to watch:
1. CSI (Vegas / Miami / New York)
2. cooking shows (especially chinese show.. best wo tengok api besar2)
3. House
4. american chopper
(this is actually soooo susah.. i jarang nengok tv)

Four places I have been on vacation:
1. malaysia - exclude east malaysia
2. berlin, germany
3. london, UK
4. brussels

Four things I could NOT live without:
1. pens & papers (i like to scribble)
2. Mobile phone (with the prepaid, of course.. heheheh)
3. PC / Laptop with internet connection (additional speaker would be great)
4. cokelat.. jajan kata pak teh

Four of my favourite foods:
1. at the moment - sushi!!!!
2. mee hoon goreng (with minced meat. dowan ciken)
3. kuih ijau & bahulu hangus made by dearest uwan
4. sambal ikan bilis also by deares uwan
(come to think of it, udah 2 tawon tak dapat rasa my favourite food.. sob. sob. sob)

Four friends who I have tagged that I think will respond:
1. julie (sebab dia rajin baca my blog ;p)
2. tajul (sebab dia ada blog dia sendiri.. heheheh)
3. fizah (the same reason as tajul)
4. aiza (sebab dia org yg bz tapi selalu ada masa untuk jawab menda2 ni.. hehehhe)

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Makkah
2. Madinah
3. aussie
4. swiss

there u go. now you've been tagged oso. So here it goes...copy and paste into a new email, delete my answers, replace with your own and send it back to me at anne.rafei@gmail.com and on to others. Nothing will happen to you if you don’t, just a bit of harmless fun!

ur answers will be kept confidential.. ngehngehngeh..

klcc ku sayang

do u know that working in klcc gives u a great feeling. lemme list it out for u:

1) cuci mata beb. gerenti baik punya. dalam opis baik tengah makan baik anywhere. cuci mata tip-top munya.. hahahaha.. french, aussie, deutch, american, org london, mamat jipang, name it.. ada aje. yg sedap mata memandang selalunya banyak daripada those rotten ones indeed. so sesapa yg dah tak caya to the contact lense, u may wanna come to klcc to wash off ur cataract-wannabe-eyes.

2) makan. eat. food. everywhere. makan saja la kat sini. having said that, my office selalu makan sampai my resolution to lose weight tak tercapai dari day one join the company. then lapa2 can turun bawah and get something to munch. bawak RM je. peh tu variety of food. macam2 ada. but dont be surprise tengok pinggan lagi besar daripada nasi la. heheheh

3) besday gift? wedding gift? apa aje gift. just right infront u. u wont dissapoint anybody. last minit pun boleh beli. so for husbands working in klcc, u have no reason to tell ur wives "aiya daling.. i forgot ur giftla.." and the gift sometimes really creative u know. i've just got a koala to hold my new hp. for rm29.90. oklah. kindda kiut tho

4) lepak! lagi giler punya best. duk la mana aje. petang2 without rain, penuhlah depan air pancut tu. photographer pun ramai. macam2 aksi sommo.. especially the.. hehehe... white fella with sepet eyes..

5) one thing for sure, u'll never miss the latest trendy fashion. mak datuk punya fashion. for those white fella with sepet eyes, the fashion will be so colourful. sometimes red pants with green shirt pun ada. then those with a little tan skin, their fashions are sometimes odd. but can do la.. rambut cacak, rambut tersisir ketepi.. adohhh.. sume ada la

6) great thing is, u can actually exercise. i park my car in avenue k. then i get to klcc via the underground tunnel. then u know lah those people naik lrt. derang punya jalan macam nak masuk big walk. without u realize, u'd be walking shoulder to shoulder with them. dengarlah klak kluk klak kluk... sampai opis mengah pun ada. hahahah

7) free gift. exactly! it's always there. semalam dapat sabun palmolive. hari ni sebab sebok sembang ngan mamat ni, tak dapat apa. koman2 pun sure dapat this ketas ntah apa ntah. but oklah. reading purposes. more to sampah actually.. hehehehe..

8) what else eh? aaa.. if u get to the tunnel, u'll listen to this nice music. i was informed they are the ASK student whom had to assign themselves singing in public. so at least an entertainment. kan?

9) i talked about free gift. now i talk about another thing that u can get for free. free smell. early in the morning, normally ur nose will smell all the good2 smell. dior la, channel la, estee la.. kembang kuncup idong dibuatnya. petang oso got smell. but smell u dowanna smell la. but still got few that has good smells - those yg pegi perfume counter to get free smell sprayed. heheheheh

10) get lost! hahahahah.. that's one thing that u'll never miss being in klcc. it has been a month and i havent find myself ease with the lifts..

sekian, terima kasih.

al-fatihah

it's not so hot neither so cold day today uh? i guess the day also mourning the loss of a dear friend, mohd ahsan rosli b bain. he's a friend in my former office and passed away last nite due to colon cancer.

his wife passed away 2 years ago due to breast cancer. she survived 6 years with all the chemo thingy and all the medical-terms-that-i-dunno-how-to-spell-and-say. then he got a new wife. but the it was not long that he got the news that he's at 4th stage of colon cancer. due to the wife's experience on chemo thingy, he opt for traditional medicine. and last nite, 11:31 pm, i received an sms informing his loss.

i'm not so close to him. but he's a good man indeed.

i'll miss his "gua-lu".

it seems that it was yesterday that we had the joy...

to my dear friends out there... please do a favour to urself. whenever u have any sickness or any symptons at all, please! please! please! please seek consultation from doctors. ahsan did not worry about his sickness and there u go.. 4th stage of cancer.

so all my dearies, please seek speacialist's advise. do whatever u're asked to do. and please, u may opt for traditional medication but at the same time, please make use of the latest medical technology.

al-fatihah. semoga rohnya ditempatkan bersama org2 yg dikasihiNya...

bla.. bla.. bla..

just finished my eskrem magnum sambil layan lagu2 yg baru di donlod. my new neber in the opis tu asik layan mariah carey & jac je. busanlah saya..

3 hari cuti, macam2 agenda. i was supposed to have lunch with aiza & julie on friday but some how, the plan had to be postponed. yet i enjoyed my sushi with sherry, not forgetting the additional baskin robbins treat. hehehe.. saya akan jadi sungguh gumuk di bulan besday ini.

saturday, went to ayu's. then attended tupperware assembly sambil melayan kekacang. bowinklah asik dengar menda yg sama je. then made our way to mak uteh's place. syafiq jatuh toilet, urat putus, kena duk umah for 6 weeks. "nasib baik tak kena tendon" kata doctor. looking at mak uteh, i terkenangkan uwan. sigh..

and today, sunday, we were suppose to transport adam to mak's place so that we can kemas umah. but then, anak bujang sorang tu tanak pulak tinggal sana. so kenalah sambil kemas, sambil sepah balik.

back to adam.. recently dia dah tanak duk umah maknek dia. i dunno why. nak kata dia biasa tinggal ngan i tak jugak. yes i admit, he was with me for a month. but then the 1st week i sent him to maknek, he was ok. then the 2nd week he started to get cranky whenever we arrived maknek's. ingatkan boleh goda dengan karipap. 2 hari je la. then i asked che made to send him over as i couldnt get the job done. org laki ni hati keras sikit. mama ni lembut hati sikit. kang anak nangis sikit, mama nangis lebeh2. so since then, che made has took over my job. cian adam.. i still wonder what had happened to adam? c-u-r-i-o-s-i-t-y!

it was a great day!!

yup! a trully great day. the day that i turned 28. thinking of 28, it's 2 years down the lane to reach 30. huhu.. time flies heh.. but anyway, it's just numbers. it's what within that matters.

i'd like to thank everyone, for making my day a great one. my family of course, my beloved hubby & adam, bapak, along, che nani, akut, my buddies - it's a long list.. and not forgetting the ANFC - getaway committee. sungguh surprise!!!! and the cake was awesome. thanks people! thank u so much!!!

turning 28 is just another page in my diary. another change in my life. what else do i need? i know! iman yg lebih kukuh. like TJ said, i've already have a loving hubby, an adorable adam, a home sweet home, mobiles and almost everything. i have with me family that always there for me and a bunch of great friends. what else would i need? i feel blessed. and i thank Allah for giving me the opportunity to live this life to the fullest. to give all the best to my big family. and to have all these great people around me. what else should i say? better word, alhamdulillah...

as i'm typing, my eye gets watery. simply because i can never thank everyone personally. but i hope they know where they are in my heart.

anyway, obladi oblada - life goes on. enuff with watery eyes. hehehe...

did i tell u i got 3 cakes? hehe.. one from aiza & julie, one from ANFC & another one from my beloved family. it was midnite when i got back. pretty buzy with birthday bash huh? heheheh.. cian adam. i got a new hp. i got a flower & 3 ferrero rocher which i will share with my 2 good buddies this friday. and somebody is giving me another thing today. it was not like last year where i got a whole bunch of flowers. penuh bilik. but then this year, it's pretty much sentimental & touching.. few good friends sang me birthday song. tima kasih.. suka sangat kat sora korang itu.. er.. ada sesapa lagi nak kasik hadiah? heheheheeh

what else eh? dahlah kot.. it's my first entry from my new place. huhu... lately ni macam kurang ada masa nak update blog. not so buzy actually. tapi konon2 nak balik umah baru update. tapi balik umah dah lupa. hehehe...

why la....

sometimes i rasa bengang sangat. regret pun ada. malu pun ada jugak. but when things happen, there's nothing else i could do. i have to swallow. there are times, i'm just there. helpless. because? those involved are those my loved ones. i'm not trying to be too expressive. but i dont know what else should i do to express my dissapointment.

i left my belonging, which i bought with my own penny, for somebody to use it for his personal purposes. i left it with him as i got an alternative. things seem ok until i needed it as the alternativ has to be sent for some repairements. why la on the day i need it, it's the day that i have to change the batteries that have weaken few weeks earlier. and to my disliking, my belonging was already semput few days earlier within the custody of my loved ones and no changes done. oklah.. since i need it badly, i just put some cost into it and take it away. i couldnt be bother to ask for damages, so case closed

my loved ones got a new alternative. so my belonging was left to a new owner. my other loved ones. it's ok. as i know my belonging is going to be a helpful mechanism. things run smoothly despite that my 1st loved ones said that he wouldnt leave my belonging unattended. but talks are talks la kan? sudah dapat gading bertuah mana mau kisah sama tanduk lagi. but i dont mind. as long as my belonging is kept in a good condition.

time passed by. i got a letter. tow trucks are hunting my belonging. it's soooooo surprising. but nevermind. things settled. but still, it hurts me deeply.

now i need my belonging back. my alternative is away. and yet i receive another cut. to change only the brake pad is actually nothing la. i mean, it's not a once a year activity. so i just ok to it. but when it was sent to a handy man this morning, i got another news. the tyres are not longer in a good conditions. why cant my loved one change this prior the handover? they have been using it but couldnt they maintain it? after all it was always THEM on it. helping them to get to the other points. for datings, for works, for jalan2, for balik kg, for this and that.. cant they just be thankful?

how could they do this to me? kalo tanak, len kali cakap je tanak. tak suka cakap tak suka. things would be easier this way. i love all my loved ones. and i wanna keep them happy. i wanna help as much i could. but if only bad things as return, i feel really bad. really2 upset.

hhmmm... no wonderla my belonging has been the garage pet ever since the new one came in. habis madu sepah dibuang rupanya...

(+) + (+) = (+) <-- new me

started a new life 2 days ago. tho nitemare still haunting, i try to keep it away. i let it drifts away from my life. i wanna start fresh. i wanna start from the beginning. zero. null. and now, i'm back on track. new platform. and, i'm still learning. and i wont stop learning.

for the past 2 days i feel great. i feel alive. feeling like a newborn baby. i keep my head ahead. walking without looking back. running as nothing gonna stop me. giving without hoping any receiving. sharing as there's more to spare.

new things learnt. old things passed. i'm still the same person. but with some changes. some new resolutions. some better perspectives. some correctives. so please regard me as the same person u've known. but please accept the faith that this old same person is to leave the past behind.

farewell bad days. hello new days.

to those that been with me thru ups and downs. u're my true companion. ur tears are precious. ur blessings are treasures. ur kindness & cares tell me that u'd always be there for me. how can i ever thank u people for this? u know who u r.. needless to say..

to those who cant simply leave my life alone, i rest my case. u're not my problem nor my burden. Almighty would handle the rest, taking into consideration the good and bad things u've done. i shall keep away from u people. u're no good and yucks to me. shoooh.. off u go!