it's just something..

i know this lady. she has the qualification; "a bought MBA" - quoted by somebody who attended the same university. the thing is, i cannot understand the way she thinks, the way she does her works & the way she values herself as somebody in an organization. i think, being her; being somebody in her position, she should be on her own. stand independently. but she's not. and she lets herself go with the wind. can i call her stupid? mm.. tak pelah.. not now.. laterlah

i'm actually talking about one of my managers (a senior indeed). a manager who handles human behaviour & resources. well.. maybe i'm not the rite person to talk about her. yalah.. baru setahun jagung di sini ma.. but i just couldnt stand the way she "handles" people. i have no doubt that she has misused her "qualification" & position to create a new dimension in developing people. heheh.. develop? hiyerlah sangat.....

ntahlah.. it's actually hard to explain. i could actually collect a minimum of 76,584 complaints on this lady in a day. tapi tak pelah.. i have some other things to do. ini bukan kes bukan salah ibu mengandung ye. ini mungkin terlalu obses dengan diri sendiri. she's too proud. proud of herself. and she thinks other people are just piece of junk. i feel like telling her "wake up lady.. u're getting older. wrinkles are making their way." tapi.. on 2nd thought.. tak payahlah.. pi mampuih kat dialah... kita layan org bodo, kita jadi bodo.. biarlah dia jadi bodo sorang².

dahlah.. maleh dah lah nak ngata org.. i just hope that she'll change. it's a waste for somebody like her. being a senior manager for nothing. yg mana salah dibetulkan. yg mana betul disalahkan. again.. i'm not the rite person to talk about her. myself pun tak seperfect mana. so, semoga org itu berubah... janganlah terlalu bangga dengan apa yg telah awak buat. tak puas lagi menyakitkan hati org? masih bergumbira menganiaya org? tunggu jelah... what goes around, comes around..

SS14 dalam kenangan

back left to right:
mai (the best buddy), fahmy, "tak ingat nama", biawak (harharhar), hana, as

front left to right:
"my mother make luv to me everyday", putat (terkebelakang sket), it's meeeeeeeee, darliz, kak nini, aiza & eda

~ 0 ~

terkenang semasa dulu.. sambil makan kuih bahulu.. eh.. bahulu tak boleh weh. sensitip. heheh.. i'm a bit what to call eh.. mmm.. ala-ala duduk sensorang sambil terkenang².. ha.. cenggitulah..

it's me & fellow SS15 people. ITM 1996-2000. i dun know whylah i masuk this course. to be a secretary? no.. not really. i'm more into admin thingy. and at that time, my thought was to take this course as a jumping stone to get into admin thingy la. yeh. some people have actually advised me to go into business admin. well. it's the hard headed girl say SS14. and the people cannot say anything. hehehe..

i got another offer from UM - TESL, the same day i received the offer from ITM. it was a tough call. mak nak i masuk UM. sama ngan big joe. well i guess, that was the reason. tak besh la kan. dari sekolah sampai ke U asik muka dia je kan? balik umah nanti pun muka dia lagi. aduh busan.

banyak kenangan beb kat ITM ni. tak yah cite la. kang syahdu madu. some are good. some are just nighmares. i duk kat kolej seroja just for a semester. lepas itu saya telah ditendang keluar kerana telah mengeluarkan diri melepak di section 2 tanpa membawa kad yg sahih untuk keluar kolej. bloergh.. teruk kan? nak kuar lagi nak pakai kad. bengang giler seh time tu. tapi tak pe. kuar kolejnyer pasal la made me a tough person. wah.. time tu memang penat tak hengatlah. bangun kul 5 am. 5.45am dah kena tunggu bas mini kat permata. siap berebut tu. aaaahhhhh.. the memoir of a mini bus. pink pulak tu. naik kat permata turun kat CM. pegi pulak bus stand kelang. tunggu pulak 222. time tu bas 222 masuk dalam ITM lagi. so lama sikitlah tido. tu pun kalo dapat seatlah. kalo tak, berjinggutlah berdiri. sampai lenguh² tumit. kalo habis kelas kul 2pm, kul 6pm baru balik. tak laratlah nak duk dalam bas berlama². dengan jemnyer. dengan org balik kejenyer. kem salam lah weh. tak dapek la nak berebut dengan org balik keje ni. derangnyer eksen lain sket. yelah.. sapalah kita.. budak sekolah lagi. laaaaa.. cite bas pulak.

back to ITM. i failed OM on my final year. oh God.. time tu tak tau nak kata apa. my lecturers & friends tak menjangkalah. mana penah fel beb.. dapat D pun jauh sekali. apatah lagi nak fail. yg tu memang traumalah. and to make the feeling worsen, mdm usha actually has given out the "spotted question". tak de spottednyer. memang dia kasik soklan bocor. nangis pun tarak lagu itu sudah. repeatlah satu paper. urghhhhh.. giler punya seksa punya rasa dalam hati. but that failure gave me the strength to carry on with my life. alah.. like the always. gagal sekali bukan gagal selama²nya. cakap senang kan. tapi bila rasa.. awouchhhh.. pedih giler

and due to my-pegi-balik-naik-bas-situation, i've never dressed up nicely. while my fellow friends bawak beg² ala2 seksiteri, i bawak budak sekolah punya bag. time tu brand OP tengah naik. memang kayalah org keje kat OP starhill tu. i guess that's why ramai misjudged me as engineering or mascom student. dahlah baju tidak melambangkan kursus langsung.. harharhar.. anyway.. sukalah.. i punya baju. nak bawak beg pompuan²? tak delah i.... bawak beg ala² perempuan ni remehlah dol... bawak knapsack, ha ko.. selambak barang ko leh bawak.

those are my days in ITM. and here i am. 5 years after graduated. still a waras human being. i guess i'm also a good citizen. no vandalism case. heh.. i feel like going back to classes la. mm.. 2nd thought.. maleh lah. nanti ada exam. well, i'm a bit baik compared to my years in secondary skool. yg tu lagi tegarrrrrrrr.. harharhar

ps: thanks lin. u were right. i got carried away.

it's a ting tong day

I would have given you all of my heart

but there's someone who's torn it apart

and she's taking almost all that I've got

but if you want, I'll try to love again baby

I'll try to love again

but I know

The first cut is the deepest, baby

I know The first cut is the deepest

'cause when it comes to being lucky she's cursed

when it comes to lovin' me she's worst

but when it comes to being loved she's first

that's how I know

The first cut is the deepest, baby I know

The first cut is the deepest

I still want you by my side

just to help me dry the tears that I've cried

cause I'm sure gonna give you a try

and if you want, I'll try to love again

but baby

I'll try to love again

but I know

The first cut is the deepest, baby

I know The first cut is the deepest

'Cause when it comes to being lucky she's cursed

when it comes to lovin' me she's worst

but when it comes to being loved she's first

that's how I know

The first cut is the deepest, baby I know

The first cut is the deepest

~ o ~

hari ni i ada sikit ting tong - thanks lin!! thanks for the RM1.50 thought.. hehehe

i'm not suppose to have this feelings. i dont. i should not. why i let myself being carried away with this feelings?? arrgghhh.. stupid me. please feeling.. please let me go. please go away. i dun need u. not now. perhaps not forever.. i'm happy. i'm happy as i want to be. i have to let the feelings go. it shouldnt be with me. things have passed. yes indeed.. it was memorable. but it was pain. and the pain is suck.

i've had enough. i've gone tru it. i dont want to go tru it again. not the same feelings again. no more guilt in me. no more mercy for this feelings. u have to go out! out! out! out u go! shoooh! out of my life! u have to learn how to be independent. on ur own. stand on ur own. stand alone. i can never be with u. anymore. i'm sorry. i love u but i have to hate u. i'll treasure the moments. each of it. and i'll have to throw the key to the treasure away. away from my life. no more. no more access to this feelings.

i dont want to fall. i dont want to feel u anymore. i've had u. i've to set u free. tata feelings. babai! take a good care of urself. i know u're good. i know u've done nothing wrong. but i cant pet u anymore. i cant hold u anymore. please accept the faith. the destiny. the chosen path for us. please.... i wish to be free..

thanks feelings. thanks for being with me all this while. thank u so much......

the terminal: life is waiting

i watched the terminal over the weekend. 2 thumbs up (plus 2 toes please..) for steven spielberg, viktor navorski, amelia warren, enrique cruz, gupta & the fellow people. i'm quite agree with "life is waiting". watch this and u mite understand what i'm saying..

i have a few buddies that are still looking for someone right for her or his life. i've found mine 2 years ago. alhamdulillah.. now with the number running in the age sequence. surroundings never keep silent. queries as "bila ko nak kawin?", "apa lagi yg ko tunggu?", "adik ko dah kawin, ko bila lagi?", "ko tak pegi mandi bawah jambatan ke?" have no ends. there's time i wonder why. it's their life. why people have to bother? oklah.. mungkin derang terlebey sayang kat kita. or maybe, they are just part of the people yg suka bertanya. or mite be they have NO other things to talk about. well.. they are just human beings.. kan?

my always thought: those yg asik tanya² are the makcik² type. nampaknya zaman sekarang budak² muda pun ramai yg bermulut makcik². yelah.. budak muda skang kan ke dah ramai sudah kawin dan beranak-pinak. that's why derang pun dah jadik makcik² type kot. marriage is a license to ask such thing? mmm.. dunno.. i guess so.

for my buddies..
lantakkanlah apa derang nak kata. it's ur life kan? u have the rite to determine what u want in ur life. there's no space for comparison like "ko dah kawin aku belum kawin". honesly, there's no such thing. i always believe that there's going to be someone rite for u. no worries. when the time is precise, that person will be coming along. like i used to say, u'll be meeting the wrong person along the journey, then only u'll find the one that suits u. u know my case kan buddies.. take that as an example udahlah... perhaps there's a reason when u have to feel the pain before u enjoy every moment of ur life with that someone besides u.

i wish i'm thaaaat empathy. well i guess, i am. but i dont know to what extend. i can't feel the pain that u felt. i might have the tempias, but that's it. yes, i can cry as loud as u because i am cengeng. but i could never cry for the pain that u have suffered. for the things that people said, for the lost & dump, for the kurang ajar punya laki & perempuan.. i will never feel that. if i have had, i dont know if it's the same feeling. we have to go tru the humps and punk'd. we have too..

u have my say; i'll be by ur side. thru sad & happiness. thru cry & laughter. u know i will. i'll be the shoulder. but if u wanna cry, please prepare the tissue ye. i'm not the tissue carrier.. so perempuanish la.. harharhar

for the people of the surroundings..
leave my buddies alone la. it's their life. and u have ur life. lantak pi la derang nak kawin awal ka, lambat ka.. ada rezeki kang dema ajaklah korang makan² kenduri tu. tak sabaq nak beli hadiah ka? lek lu.. kumpul dana banyak² sket.

dah. toksah nak pikir panjang². ada jodoh kawin. ajak i.. hehehe

sorry loser...

i hate those people who cant give in some little time to queue. hate them! buang dalam laut kasik ikan pirana makan. kalo emergency sangat pasanglah hazard lite tu. then people would consider giving u ample space for u to speed off. ni nak mencelah sana, celah sini. causing massive jams. come onlah.. give some understanding tabley ke? semua org mau kelija juga maaa..

wanna know what happened? tanak tau? tak peduli. meh i cite.. i was in the middle of not to say heavy traffic lah. so-so traffic lah. heading to elavated hiway. my route starts from the flamingo hotel, near the petronas one. those regular "customer" knew la.. sungguh banyak pemotong queue yg bertauliah. keta kecik, keta besa. name it. suma ada..

then there's one mamat. wira 6009. depan itu petronas ada lubang². so to avoid the lubang, i took a bit right. this mamat meredah itu lubang untuk memotong. ok.. itu satu. peh tu, on the way up to the highway, si mamat ini mencurahkan rasa hati ingin mencelah ke kanan. hellloooooo.. sabar² sket tabley ka? if i was going slow, then go lah. i wont stop u. tapi i pun tengah melajukan my waja perkasa kelabu untuk memanjat bukit itu. ok.. end of it. peh tu i mencelah ke kanan, sebab i nak amik tidal flow. ooo.. dia tengok i dah masuk, he sped just to cut me in queue. ooo.. tak pe.. tarak hal munya. sekali i tengok dia nak masuk tidal flow jugak. ah! ini sudah mendatangkan marah. sure i jadi tak senang bontot duduk belakang dia. biasalah.. adrenalin sudah burst ma... so i followed my instinct. i took the normal route. my thought was: lantak kat ko lah. maleh nak gaduh pagi² ngan org camni. save my mood for something better.

i pun kerling ke kanan. heheheheh.. padan muka sama itu mamat. ada 2 kereta termasuk satu lori yg lembabs alas kengkuras di laluan itu... harharhar.. thank God for the instinct. You really want me to feel good today..

when i reached the toll booth, i saw the 6009 again. ala.. jumpa lagi. all i wish at that very moment was: mintak²lah org depan dia kasik duit RM50. amin...

aaaaaa.. berjaya.. org depannya lembabs. and guess who's the winner?

yey!!!!!!!!

*tepuk! tepuk!*

thank u. thank u.. saya mengucapkan terima kasih yg berbanyak² kepada pengambil duit saya di toll booth tadi. terima kasih kepada anda. tanpa anda, saya tidak akan merasa kejayaan ini..

to the mamat 6009,
tabahkanlah hatimu. berhati² di jalan raya. sayangilah org tercinta..

sekian terima kasih..

my hero... aaaaahhhhhhh

i was in my sangap class yesterday.. and it was even worse with pagi² makan nasik lemak. manalah tak sayu layu mata i ni kan.. but then, the moment uncle wong mengumumkan "lastly", satu keajaiban telah terjadi. wow! mata i segar bagai direnjis eyemore. tak sampai 5 minit dia kata babai, i dah ada kat keta. ready to head back. heheheh.. that's why la i luv u uncle wong.. luv uncle wong so much... if it's not for uncle wong, i wouldnt be home by 3:30 pm yesterday. if it's not for uncle wong, my middle finger would be doing his bad-sometimes-good duty. jasa uncle wong akan saya hargai sepanjang hayat saya.. yey!

talk about hero kan.. i dun have a proud hero that i could think of at the moment. batman? superman? i'd add in flinstone. powerpuffgurl? mm..

during my days it was barbie, she-ra, he-man (master of the universe), transformers, care bears, smurfs, thundercats and silverhawks. and the ugliest series was V. makan tikus weh.. and i still remember those moments.. letak gam atas tangan. peh tu kaler ngan kaler hijo. peh tu biar kering. peh tu tarik macam citer V. wowo... ganassssss!!

i watched batman begins the other day. thank u my daling for letting my kerja terbengkalai... huh.. i tak nak tengok sebenarnya. betul.. tak de ati nak tengok. peh tu, biler terpandang je, sure best² punya scene. tengoklah dulu. layannnnnn.. so that's how bruce wayne became batman... dah tengok? lom? gi lah tengok nuuuu.. best wooo..

i jarang tengok tv. unless for my feveret series like CSI, Dr. House. but not so hooked up like those time with oshin, moero attack, police cadet, the wizard, mcgyver, the A-team, knight rider and lagi satu citer. couldnt recall the tajuk. but i remember one of them is named as johnny. dia leh lari laju. peh tu ada cahaya² biru. ntah apalah nama cite tu. lagi satu air wolf.. woo.. itu pun sedap weh.. lagu dia yg paling interesting. cite tom selleck tu pun was one of my fav series. itu pun lupa nama. aaa.. satu lagi. i dream of jeanie (did i get it right??) yg ni komfem hari jumaat kul 2, tv3. because of it, i selalu gi sekolah lambat.. harharhar..

skang i tengok tv amik dan je lah. mana sempat tengok. tak sempat pun tak pe. no harm. kalo dulu siap suh bapak recordlah. la ni tadak hal. tak sempat tengok kul 2, kul 9 malam kang boleh tengok. dah tak de kat tv, carik je vcd. tak de vcd, tunggulah tawon depan. tak mo tunggu tawon depan, browse internet. sure ada cerita dia punyalah... apa mau heran.. kan?

i nak berangan la.. agak²kan.. kalo i apply jadi a new member to powerpuffgirl, derang approve tak? mmmm.... harharhar...

sangapan dengan hati yg gumbira nestapa

hari ni i sangaaaap sangat banyak. duk dalam training room. dry subject pulak tu. tertambah menambah sangapan i untuk hari ni.. besok nak cakap uncle wong suh habih awal sikitlah. makan sambil belajar pun tak pe. yang persidangan pun hari ni la nak raptai.. besok lagilah jem. ayoyo ama apa.. mana mau lari ni weeeehhhh..

alhamdulillah!! got a good news today!! mmm.. eh.. ada 2 la.. heheheh.. murah rezeki kuarga che pa'e ni hujung tawon nih.. ahaks.. cepatlah kut.. doa²lah bapak beli keta sawi ituuuuu... boleh bawak adam & anak buah baru berjalan² makan² angin... nyaaakkkkk


my hp yg cinonet tu out of service. tetiba "hang", peh tu tetiba hanya terlayar skrin putih. adoi!! pegi kedai tutup pulak. tanak void warranty kena tunggu senin. hari nilah.. nasib baik my daling boleh tulung gi hantar. tengkiu daling...

<-- sekadar gambar hiasan.. ahaks... tawon depan ye.. tawon depan.. tungguuuuu!!



we bought adam a drum set last saturday. tapi semalam atuk & pak long yg belasah... by the time adam 3 years old, dah tak de rupa drum rasanya.. just to avoid him playing with the periuk belanga... tak yahlah main periuk kuali tu lagi ye adam.. main keta pulak eh.. vrooom.. vroommmmmmmmmmm

my good friend, mr I

today open house umah mak. penat jugaklah. but not as bad as the other day.. maybe because hari ni i rushing jaga dapur je. tak delah bz mana sangat. yelah.. i kan tak payah layan org sangat. all are familiar faces pung.. jebons & jebonas couldnt miss any of our events. so untuk derang ni tak yahlah nak "jemput makan ye".. derang pandai carik makan sendirik. tak yah jemput pun dah amik pinggan dah.. at the time of writing ada lagi org datang. tak pe.. biarkan mereka²..

i've registered myself as tupperware dealer. only for 1 reason. satu sebab. i like the catalogue. iye. betul. most of my dealer thingy are because of catalogue. in fact, i boleh hapal buku ikea tu. series punya hapal. sambil² membelek (read: hapal) catalogue tu, my imaginative mind would be running wild. imagine this and that. umah i la. i pakaila. bagi org ni la. this and that la.. well u know.. ompompuan.. hehehe. berangan kena lebehlah

i'm sort of imaginative type of person. a very imaginative one. very the very. sometimes for good. sometimes for bad. there are times baru dengar tajuk, i dah terbayang bukan². my latest mengarut was listening to adibah noor's "terlalu hina". and my imagination friend helps me up with adibah noor with amuk's outfits. and this morning, i had this dream. my hubby and my sis-in-law is a halimunan.. hahahah.. bangang punya mimpi.

sometimes imagination does help me. i kind of had my ayat bunga² chinta through imagination. i'm bad in structuring words becoming sentences thus paragraph. so i have my imagination to help me up.. i think thats why i got an A for my BM-SPM. kira baguslah i kan. i remember my first few words were "jam berdetik 6 kali. aku masih tidak dapat melelapkan mata.." bla... bla.. bla..

on some other occasions, my imagination doesnt help me much. one time, i was in the middle of heavy traffic kat jalan menghala ke kampung baru. then my imagination takes place and suddenly *bang*. i hit the wira berlagak kat depan i. tulah.. imagine eksiden sapa suruh kan. padanlah muka i.. hehehhe

masa i tuition kat emkay melawati, mak will fetch us and bring us to giant. time tu giant kat melawati lagi. and that time, the cashier counter was without the scanner thingy. tot tet.. tot tet la cashier. mak tak yah susak² kalo bawak i. belikan i snickers. and i'll be the good girl tepi cashier counter tu. seronok giler tengok derang main mesin tu. giler punya seronok. tekan². amik duit. bagi duit. best. and i imagined being a cashier. and know what? i was a cashier. kat metrojaya. if people were to ask whether i have achieve my cita², i would positively & proudly say YES.. saya sudah berjaya mencapai cita² saya sebagai juruwang. hehehe..

so being imaginative is good oso rite?

aaa... one more thing. when i was in standard 5. i imagined myself kat hawaii. that time, manala i tau hawaii tu cenggana. overseas pun i tak penah pegi. so when the teacher tanya i dah pegi bercuti kat mana, i tak segan silu cakap i gi hawaii. and bila cikgu kata "ceritakan kenangan anda ketika di sana".. hahaha.. biasalah.. my good friend datang membantu dan menjadikan saya seorang budak berusia 11 tahun yg telah ke hawaii. hehehe. sorri cikgu. saya tidak bermaksud untuk menipu cikgu. ampun..

oklah.. i nak berimagination lagi....

hari ini..... setahun berlalu...

hari ini, setahun yg lalu, i cried. menangis semahu²nya.. tewas barangkali dengan dugaan Allah Yg Maha Esa. i kerdil. tidak kuat nak menentang kuasaNya.

this day, a year ago, uwan kaku kat umah wan chik. i sampai, i terus pass adam kat bapak. i gi dalam. the thing that i have never, ever expected is to see uwan lying there, breathless. uwan has always be there for me & the others. and now, it's the end. period. stop. uwan will no longer buatkan sambal bilis whenever we have to travel. uwan will never able buatkan kuih kegemaran kami lagi. there is no longer uwan yg nak layan cucu² & anak² punya kerenah. "rasa cam nak makan karipap la wan..." besok sure ada ring².. "bila nak amik karipap nih?" arggghhh.. seksanya nak menaip without this annoying tears.. yelah kut.. cengenglah aku nih...

i percaya takdir. i terima takdir. i know, there's always a blessing.. but it's hard. asalkan ada apa² berita, i mesti akan terpikir "eh.. dah cakap ngan uwan ke?" .. "eh.. uwan datang cenggana besok eh?" .. even mak uteh pun tersasul "lepas ni kita gi umah uwan". silent... i guess it's hard for me and mak uteh.

it's even harder to think about food that uwan selalu masak untuk kami. bahulu yg i beli, tak bersentuh sebab uwan's was the best. roti jala untuk open house, berat hati i nak order sebab it has no uwan's touch. i can never make the same sambal bilis. sipi² pun tak dapek.

kadang² timbul rasa bersalah pada uwan. during my confinement, uwan yg jaga. dialah yg carikan cerek kecik. buatkan air akar periuk yg pahit letung tu. i tak minum, dia amik satu lagi gelas. dia satu, i satu. minum sama². bekpes dialah yg buat. air dialah yg bancuh. tapi i bangun lambat. bila nak minum, air dah sejuk. uwan marah; "tak elok org lepas bersalin minum air sejuk". betul cakap dia.. la ni, badan i senang sakit². uwan gagah.. mintaklah nak makan apa. sure dia buat punya. i dah letih makan ikan haruan dengan nasik. i mintak goreng ikan bilis. dia gorengkan. i tak makan banyak, dia tegur. takut tak de energy katanya. even nak tolong dia angkat kain sebab ujan pun dia tak bagi. dia dah lah terdenjut². i nak tolong dia angkat kain pun tak boleh. "enko tak kuat badan nak tolong aku pulak". geram? she said for the best of the her cucu..

during the confinement period, uwan akan datang every monday and she insists on going back every thursday. kami selalu leka. lambat² hantar uwan. kalo cepat, sukalah dia. kalo lambat dia dah membentak² tunggu depan pintu. kadang² sebab bapak lambat. kadang² che made lambat. kalo suruh solat kat umah sure dia tak nak. dia nak balik jugak. i selalu tertanya² kenapa. i tanya dia tak nak cite. untill the day kenduri kat umah uwan. org kat sana kata derang dah tak de org nak ajar marhaban. selalunya uwan yg ajar. we have never thought of that... never. ever. we all tau uwan aja budak ngaji petang². tapi tak tau pulak dia ajar marhaban malam hari. my mistake. i never ask..

we have never brought her for holidays. dia nak pi mana² dia pi sendiri. i penah pegi sekali je cameron highland dengan dia. peh tu tak penah dah.. time tu i tengah dok menganggur. sebab tu dia ajak. lepas tu, sejak i keje, dia tak penah ajak dah. uwan one kind. the only one of it's kind. dia tak penahlah nak kata kedekut. sampaikan org sewa umah tak bayo duit sewa, uwan diam. org buat citer pasal uwan, uwan tak kata apa. uwan buat kuih, tak baya duit, uwan senyap je. tempat 500 pcs uwan kasik 100 pcs extra. banyak org dengki ngan uwan. uwan dah tak de ni pun, masih ada org nak menang anugerah pereka ceritera terbaik. buat citer yg bukan² pasal uwan. biarlah uwan aman.. biarlah uwan damai di sana. janganlah kaco uwan. tak cukup² lagi ke?

it's been a year. i still could feel her warm hug. her kisses. i could see her smile. her laugh. the way she solat. the way she slept. everything in her...

uwan.. semoga uwan di tempat org² disayangiNya. moga uwan dirahmati.

dan, semoga kita berjumpa lagi.... na rindu uwan. rindu yg teramat sangat...

phew! thank u people!!!

syukur alhamdulillah! my whoope-de-do berjalan lancar. walaupun ujan, walaupun jalan jem, masih ramai yg sudi datang. dengan ini i wish to thank:

• makcik leha & son
• en. rahim & family
• the jebons - eebal, arman & fendi (sploh hengget kira halal la)
• the jebonas - anem (sempat menjamu mata ye...), alien (bersama banchik & friend), ayu (nape tak bawak ajwad?), dilla & apai, ajai (cantik baju ko ye...)
• kak shidah & son (sorilah kak.. nanti kita boling sama² ye)
• ayu, mami & syafik
• fik (wink².... heheheh) & bob
• tajul
• irwa, irma & wan hartini (i'll find one fine day for ur kepohan.. sori)
• kak ziana, adik & kakak (che bidin? tau dahhhhhh....)
• farid & friend
• mak nek, intan & syafiq
• kak zaini & family
• kak nik
• kak ita, kak imah, kak yati & kak zue (lenkali janganlah buat saya risau itu macam...)
• liana & hubby (selamat dah ko ke sydney ye...)
• kak mala & family
• kak aishah & kids (jauhnyeeerrrrrrrr)
• nurul &amp;amp; family
• ezreena & family
• fizah & ahmad (biler imran nak bawak latip?)
• afifi & family
• kor & family
• kuba
• najib
• kak ti & family
• abg cha & family + kak sah
• aunty norlia & family
• aunty yati & kids
• aunty ani & kids
• atuk baq & nenek
• nyut (apesal tak pakai baju pink?)
• irah & family
• lili &amp; hubby
• conan & friend (ko gi lah hapal map KL nih.....)
• abg ijan & kak eina
• abg ujang (tetiba awak moncol ye.....)
• abg mirul (hope sherry is getting better!!)
• ijam & tunang
• hafidz & family
• kak pah & friends
• makcik yah, kak wati & abg man
• abg chik & family
• kak na & kak aishah
• mak uteh & family
• pak uda
• uncle meo & family (congrats to yani!! selamat menempuh dugaan)
• zul &amp;amp; family
• kak riri & family
• izwa & family
• ombujang sebelah umah
• dan juga kawan² che made yg tidak begitu saya kenali..

for spending some of ur precious time.. sorila kalo ada yg terkurang...

special thanks to julie, che nani, chengkut & big joben... without the 2 org kuat dapur, my day wouldnt be a smooth sailing!! thank u so much. nanti kita gi makan² sama² ye..

to mak & bapak, thank u for taking care of adam for a while...

penat gilerla.... tapi i happy.. happy yg sangat-tersangat... thank u people! thank u so much.. u've made my day...

peel fresh....... here i come..

si pinkie, maju junc & toll samy velu

this is fariz jahaya. but we call him hanyut, atau manja² sket nyut. we were classmates in ITM, SS14 (1998 kot baru dia joined). dia ni mengong.. hari ni i got the chance pekena dia. i guess he looks kiut in this pinkie baju melayu. selamat hari raya nyut. ayu sungguh ko berbaju pink. gelang pun pink nyut? trajis koooo

nyaaaaakkkkkkkkk!!! hahahhaha

~ end of story ~

i was in maju junc today.... sebulat hatiku melangkah. basically i takut lintas jalan. that's why i tak suka gi maju junc. dont mention pertama or sogo lah. no thank you. kalo ada nak bawak naik kereta, i sudilah. hehehe.. purposely go to maju junc for mawi & adibah noor. the mawi is not for me ok. it's for my cousin, izyan. she got 5As in her UPSR recently. *bravo yan!!* dont know what else to give her, so belikanlah mawi tu untuk dia. she's a big fan ok.

~ end of story ~

one thing about malaysian drivers kan.. which i hope most of the people could agree... they - or can i say we? - dont have sense of direction kan? every day i pay RM1.50 to the toll gate boy or girl kat elevated hiway tu. and that every day i could see the same situation & attitude again and over again. bayar toll ujung sana, tapi nak pegi ujung sini. why cant they decide where they heading to? u wanna stop at the toll office (which normally after the toll booths), then amiklah toll booth yg paling kiri which is also yg paling dekat dengan immediate exit tu. gatal bayar toll ujung sana kenapa? mengundang kemalangan, tak gitu? menyusahkan betulla. kalo bagi signal diampunkan jugak.. yg tak reti bagi signal ni, i rasa nak sepak those setungpit drivers tu. i pun bayo toll ok...

~ end of story ~

ok. nak balik dah. nak gi JJ. beli some more things for tomorrow thingy.. oh! i'm so excited!!!

ta!

good food, great listening...

yesterday zahar & anak sedara abg nan, suaminya kak ti yg akaknya che made datang umah beraya. i masaklah mee kari.. ahem.. ucapan.. ucapan..

"sebagai chief the dapur, thank u to my loyal helper, chengkut untuk resepi sup bawangnya yg sungguh mengasyikkan. juga terima kasih yg tak terhingga kepada org dapur, che nani yg bertungkus lumus mengacau mee kari itu sehingga ia melahirkan rasa kelazatan yg burp.. kenyang. tidak lupa kepada the big joben yg membuat kami tertunggu-tunggu bilala turn nak makan mee kari pulak - dengan nasehat, lenkali nak sembang duk depanlah.... least, untuk adam danial yg tidak mengganggu mama masak. gud boi. yayang dia... eh lupa... to my hubby for cleaning up the hall & tido awal.. ;P"

i tido ngan alin semalam. lama tak tido dengan budak besar nih. tido kat luar. berlapikkan toto.

*tak aci kut.. ko tido atas toto, atas kapet. aku atas lantai tau... menarek-tertarek over my banana-boat bantal nampaknya? gi lah JJ. RM69.90 je.*

~ end of story ~

people! kenal sama this talented artist? yup! the amazing, tremendous, supertitious adibah noor



here's the story mory..

i drove big joben's jentu this morning. waja perkasa kelabu is up for maintenance service. dok baik² kat sana ye.. ok. back to adibah. big joben showed me her cd few weeks ago. he has just bought it from tower records, KLCC. at that moment, i admitted, i dun have sekelumit rasa nak beli pun. due to review on her album from cari some times ago. and i thought it's just another sponge cake. well it's not. it's a cheese cake. with some nice words on top "adibah is hot, babyyyyy!" the voice is mmmm.. yummy.. the melody, music, etc are well blend. aaaahhh.. it taste so.. soo.... luscious! scrumptious! delicious!

dengarlah.. now i cannot stop kelalalabu.. hehehehe. best tak tipu punya.. i nak gi carik CD dia minggu depan. minggu ni still excited over the makan². mood makan kena jaga.. harharhar

morons berhari raya dengan roti hanian.. hah!

i was pissed off this morning with these two morons whose driving a honda accord and a S70 volvo. they were on tidal flow route kat elevated highway with 30kmph. kilometer per hour tiga puluh saja. oh! why waste monies to buy those highly-branded-kononnya-banyak-laju-punya-kereta when u only wanna go 30kmph? 2 cars with a horsepower more than my waja perkasa kelabu terkedek² di jalan raya. aduhai... people! please! do something!! they are abusing the jalan raya yg dibina oleh JKR untuk kemudahan semua org di bandaraya kosmopolitan ini... tolong! tolong!

did i mentioned that the honda's driver is having his sweet talk on his handphone? aaa.. see.. handphone sammo..

end of story.

i'll be having my hari raya whoop-de-do this coming saturday. why am i so excited eh? mmmm...

end of story.

have u people been listening to the fly? yesterday's story-mory was on mistakes on the signage. and one caller had this experience. he went for a mamak stall. the mamak has this "roti hanian" on the menu. curiousity hit the caller. he called the mamak.

caller: mamak!
mamak: apa mau order?
caller: itu roti hanian itu apa?
mamak: ayoyo.. itu pun tarak tau ka?
caller: apa itu?
mamak: itu roti sama itu bawanglah. itu cakap org putih jugaklah

well well well.. what to say.. that's how we malaysian talk right? f**k up becomes pak u.. what else? nickle replaces nipple <-- that's mine ok.. harharhar..

cucu uwan has been tersangap for so many times today.. now she wants to go and sangap sammo.. ta!

cheese + belacan = yummy!!

hahaha.. i guess i was sooo impatient about my cheesy frienda. she actually replied, but the message was not in my inbox until yesterday. bad server! hehehe.. lucky me that she was online and messages transmitted every 10 minutes. good server! kembang kunchup my idunch when she mentioned "u're my best friend kat sekolah la". perasanlah kan.. hahahaha

so many things happened yesterday. one of those, bapak dapat invitation gi launching album mawi tomorrow kat pwtc. invitation ok.. mana dia dapat pun tak taulah. dia dah pesan awal²: "mau gambo mawi, tengok suwat kabo" hahaha.. maknanya tak yahlah suh pesan amik gambo mawi tu.

i read about my friend's perit derita kehidupan from a blog belongs to another friend of mine. -ku berserah - and i was sooo geram. sampainya hati ayah dia buat cenggitu to her family. oklah... her family mite sound too general. ulang semula. sampainya hati ayah dia buat cenggitu kat my friend. i am here standing as the witness of her tertiarap terlungkup mencarik rezeki for her family. dan ayah dia senang² ati gunakan duit yg my friend bagi (maybe part of it ajelah. part aje pun it's still hers ok... and the monies should go the her other siblings yg lagi memerlukan taw dak? ) for his other wife. yup. another wife. a discovery after 10 years of marriage to that lady. dah jatuh timpa tangga, timpa lagi baldi tepi tangga. my friend's mom was diagonised as a cancer patient - womb. and now undergone kimo. i macam... sepak kang ayah dia nih.. aaaa.. geramla ni. the part yg buat i geram was, ayah dia bulih berjinggangjinggut dengan enjin baru while enjin lama tengah overhaul. betapa senangnye memaling muka menukar haluan kasih baru kan? berat mata memandang, berat lagi bahu memikul. me? i cannot do much. monies can be contributed. but to heal hati yg luka? not as easy as "sabarlah.. sabar.. semua tu dugaan". words are easy to said. but to actually be empathy, it's harder than to create the word itself.

i balik semalam, my angel meramuk. ntah apa masalahnye pun i tatau. dari umah maknek sampailah umah. menangis tak henti. nangis yg bulih kata high pitch jugaklah cord dia. sampailah maghrib. i asked my hubby to bathe him again. lepas mandi, baru pakai suar, dah tido. tak pakai baju sampai ke sudahnye. me as mother, i felt terrible. i know it's hard for the babysitter to monitor adam's nap time since there are 2 other kids + her own son (with additional anak² sedara sommo). but then if my angel dont get enough sleep, he'll be a monster macam semalamlah. end up i yg kepenatan balik keje ni, langsung tak dapat main ngan my own angel sebab dah penat menangis tengok dia cenggitu. well.. i kan cengeng.. hahahaha.. and i had a little discussion with my hubby & sista. it seems that i dont have any solution but to voice out my frustration to her. and my biggest obstacle, she's not an easy person to talk to. she will listen, but in the end, dia but dono jelah.. apa i rasa? sakit hati jugak kan? and i know the type of person i am. dont let me talk when my blood is upstairs. my words would turn nasty & ugly. nak cakap pagi ni pun, ntah baper kali susun ayat dalam keta da.. nasib baiklah adam behave this morning. takdelah geram sangat rasanya.

cucu uwan always hope she would be a good one. for adam danial, and for the family. for herself - Allah jua yg menentukan...

cheese + belacan = bloergh!!

yesterday, at one moment i was so happy.. i've finally found a long lost friend. a friend that i've been searching hi & low. left & rite. just a click, there she was. wow.. marveles sungguh zaman teknologi ini.. but then today, i feel a bit frustrated.. the blog updated but the email sent has no reply. urgh.. didn't she recognize me? urm... i think i've given her a brief intro on me and i think those are some points that are easy to recall... urm.. maybe i'm not thaaaaaat cheesy to be among her cheesy frienda. urm.. or maybe the friend "ship" is no longer crossing our rivers.. she seems to be somebody out there. dan.. siapalah saya.. hanya cekodok pesek.. yaakkkk... hahahhaha.. it's ok, i guess. i've tried to find her. i've found her. i've tried to say hi. but it seems that she's saying bye. tak pelah.....

found this on a friend's blog. kindda kiut. i guess a way to tell my hubby on how to go into raptures over me next time.. kanda... ooooo.. kanda... wakakkakakaka.

.

cucu uwan is just a plain belacan. sometimes with additional pepper. sometimes with some gula melaka. to add up the colour, to spice up the flavour...

hari raya dan i

hiksssss...

my raya this time around bercampur baur. tatau nak describe. nak kata happy, tak jugak. nak kata tak happy pun tak jugak.. on par!

1st day: pagi² raya letis giles nak bangun. the nite before adam still tak berapa sihat. pegi umah mak pun lepas kena bedilan talipon dek mak.. mukan tamo datang awal la.. tatak mulih mangun.. adam segak baju melayu. made hensem baju melayu. mama pun apa kurang kan? haruslah "cantik menarik tertarik - da bomb" hehehehe... i ingat baju i paling mahal.. wooooo.. ada lagi mahal RM30.. hahhaha.. syabas puan noraini! anda berjaya! konon nak gi tg malim seawal pagi. so that boleh balik kl seawal petang. sudahnyer dekat nak zohor baru kuar umah. all together - mokteh + pokde. i terus ke "umah baru" uwan. i know her "umah" dekat dengan pokok apa-menda-ntah-tu. so tak susah nak carik. baru je baca "RAJIAH BINTI LIMIN" my tears dah tak leh stop. bercucuran macam ujan petang kat KL la ni. dan seterusnya, "kembali ke rahmatullah pada 22 November 2004 bersamaan 9 syawal 1425, berumur 74 tahun". i rasa kalo i ni bukan islam yg kuat, i akan meraung macam org hilang akal. alhamdulillah... yassin yg i baca lancar. walaupun tersekat² dek sedu. thanks to yan for the payung. lepas baca i rasa rindu i lepas. i cakap ngan uwan, i akan datang lagi. insya Allah.. peh tu i gi umah wan chik. seperti biasa, i ilang ingatan kat anak mak lang kenong. 13 orang beb! ingat 3 di atas je la. yg lain, main agak² je. then ke umah pak long ali. "sayang anak..." - i'm still wondering with what she meant by this. nak gi jumpa wan wa, pokde ada kat belakang. i rasa wan wa rindu uwan.. yelah. she has never missed visiting her eldest sister on hari raya. it's the first time dia tak de.... *sigh*.. i tak singgah umah opah usu but i was told, atuk usu was in a good condition. alhamdullilah.. then head back to KL. malam dah rilek² sket, gi pulak umah tok baq & nenek kat puchong. half an hour later head back to KL. balik kemas beg nak gerak gi krai pulak pagi besok.

2nd day: gi krai. bawak balik sket lauk pauk mak. berjangkit pulak virus si chengkut ni. adohai... adam dah nak ok dah. mama pulak setat achooo.. peh tu gi telan polaramine 20mg 2 ketul pulak tu. bertambahlah tingtong palo i. memang i flat. sampai umah sana pun, sembang kejap, peh tu tido balik. sampailah ke malam. malam pun dah setat sakit tekak.

3rd day: ingatkan nak pakai baju raya shantik² satu family. nak gi berayalah.. dengan sesemanyer, batuknyer. kem salam jelah kat baju raya tu. terlantar je atas katil. ayah take over adam. abg chik beli breacol. sedap sikit tekak nih

4th day: rasa ok sket. pakailah baju raya. kengkonon nak lah gi beraya. sudahnyer my hubby pulak flat. tersadai lagi lah.. pakai shantik² duk umah.. nak wat ganooo.. patutnya today balik t'ganu. kensel

5th day: balik kl. pagi² dah siap². adam bangun, terus gerak balik KL. singgah umah abah + mek & lah + mek. then head back to KL. singgahlah genting sempah kononnya nak makan apa² yg patut. dia punya queue panjangnyer la.. peh tu kat "playcourt" tu ada pulak hamba Allah tukar napkin anak dia atas gelongsor. kembang tekak... kensel, terus balik KL. terus balik umah sebab my hubby memang dah tiada kelaratan. malam mak datang bawak lauk.

begitulah hari raya i tawon nih.. nak kata meriah, tak de sangat. dengan demamnyer. hari ni pun tak kebah lagi nih. ubat batuk dah berbotol dah telan. sesema ok sket la. in 2 weeks wat open house. sesapa yg berkenaan tu, jemputlah datang ye...

cucu uwan menadah tangan: Ya Allah, panjangkan umur hambaMu ini agar dapat aku terus bersyukur di atas kebesaranMu.

angel of mine..

dah 3 hari adam kena cirit birit. kensian wooo.. makan serba tak kena. minum pun susu tak bulih. minumlah air kosong je.

1st day kena. we still gave him susu & makan. pagi tu dia muntah lepas makan. ok lagi. peh tu bagi makan. ok lagi. tapi peh tu asiklah tukar huggies dia. tak renti² tukar. ada je yg dia terciritkan. mak suh cut down his susu. tapi tak sampai hatilah pulak... malam dia mengarut. tengah tido atas katil superman, dia menjerit tiba². menggelabah woo.. baca ayat kursi sampai baper kali. peh tu bawak dia tido luar. takut dia panas. sama jugak. dia tak mo letak. then i bawak dia tido atas kosi. dia tido... i pun tido jugak.... 2 jam tido duduk.. sakit jugak badan ni....

2nd day kena. we cut off the susu. nak tengok apa jadi. still ada sakit perut. still cirit. ada fever lagi. ubat demam dah bagi. bawak gi klinik, doc kata there's no medications for young baby. so doc suh observe je. jangan sampai adam dehydrate. so we did. bagi adam minum air kosong banyak². malam adam susah sket nak tido sebab tak de susu. so kena bawak dia meronda kasik dia tido. semalam sampai jugaklah ke wisma celcom tu... nak tengok ketupat punya pasal

3rd day kena. adam dah nampak cam ok sket semalam. beyak pun bulih tahan. pagi ni, kensian adam. merengek nak susu. air kosong dah tak layan. lapar sangat agaknya. bagi jugaklah susu. sakit balik perutnya. cirit birit baliklah anak bujang i sorang tu.my mistake. we shouldnt give him susu yet... kensian adam. sakit balik peyut dia. yg tak larat nak dengar adam nangis. mungkin perut dia memulas. then dia punya nangis, syahdu dan nyaring. i dah tak tahan tengok adam sakit dah. so i decided to bring adam to sjmc for further check up. doc kasi bebelec. susu tak de lactose and specially for kids yg kena cirit birit. then ada ubat cuci perut anda lagi satu ubat untuk dia makan sebelum dia makan any food. malam ni, i hope his condition would be ok lah.. kensian adam. ni pun i dah ngantuk. mana taknya.. dok layan dia satu hari ni. tido tak apa tak.. badan pun dah letih dah ni.

tadi bawak adam jenjalan. so that dia lupa dia sakit perut. berjaya. adam merenget. mungkin ngantuk. tapi biler balik umah tak denyer dia nak tido. segar bugar semacam je.. ni dah garuk² kepala. dah ngantuk la tu agaknya..

so cucu uwan wishes everybody good nite.. zzzzzzzzzzzzz









< -- adam ngan arwah unyang (gambo last rasanya....)




















<--- gambo ngan atuk.. biler atuk nak balik nih.. adam dah windu nak naik moto ngan atuk nih...

yyyaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkkkdddiiiiiiiissssssshhhhh!!!!!! - part 2

pecah kaca pecah gelas
sudah baca harap balas

so the said neighbour has replied our note.

"time kasih bebanyak
jgn sound sorang aje. tgk org lain (be fair).
- selamat hari raya. maaf zahir batin -"

pecah kaca luka gigi
sudah baca i balas lagi

* hahahaha... u dun wanna be fair to others but want people to be fair to you? forget it*

*kereta org lain parking atas tanah. kereta WNA 7415 awak parking tengah jalan. macam tayar kena migrain kalo letak kat tanah. siapa yg fair & who's not? we are being fair by not park at your-selfish-parking-space. jgn main tuduh². silalah prihatin terhadap jiran² awak. you wanna be in the community then be among them!! happy deepavali*

then after a while, my hubby kata, mungkin she's referring to the taxi belongs to her neighbour yg parked on the same space. so i continue with the note

*we dont go against anybody who park at our space. but be considerate. whenever you park ur car, u tend to park too much forward. thus make us block the bachelors' gate/entrance. can u see ur inconsideration? and we dont have any problems with other cars/neighbours. think about this before u want to tell us what we should do*

my bro suh i cakap sendirik dengan dia. but i know myself... i dun want mazidul sidek ke zakiah anas ke datang buat laporan pulak. i admit i'm giving her a hard time. but i guess the hard time makes us know each other. and i have the feeling that it's the beginning of a "neighbour-relationship". i pray for that...

macam my hubbylah.. we started with quarrel. peh tu baru bercinta banget.. wakakaka... terkenang semasa dulu...

my bro got a new jentu (err.. jentu la jugak...). harap² dia tak parking merata² tempat.. hehehe... i could see the smiling face.. of course la sukakan.. jaga keta baik². jgn berpelesit tak tentu pasal.. i dun know about the car sebenornyer. then on the day i sent bapak to bukit jalil, lepas satu² clue dia sebut. first on mak's arrival tonite, bapak kata "biarlah along amik. mesti bersemangat nak amik tu". erkk.. i had the feeling. and i thought it was a MYVi. sebab along kata nak beli that car. senyap dulu.. after long pause he said some more "banyak plate 5335. suh along amik 5335 jugaklah".. ahah.. kantoi.. so i made him talk. rahsia konon.. i'm glad. at least along ada "responsibility" baru. bapak pun boleh continue with his plan on wira WDD. and the little kisya bulih bagi kat chengkut. *ko tak leh bawak manual eh chengkut? hikhikhik...*

i baru beli dodol nih. mmm.. nampak sedap.. mintak²lah sedap. minggu depan dah setat coti. ada masa, i gi update blog kat umah bapak. tak de masa kalu, tunggu i balik kejalah baru tengok balik blog. i dah excited nak beraya. hari ni pun pakai baju baru sebab nak gi berbuka posa kat renaissance. office function. kad raya ada la 3 kat umah. mmm.. ada jugaklah.. alhamdulillah..

hujung minggu ni i ingat nak perabih keringat ngemas umah. hopefully adam tido lama. then i bulih bersenang lenang mengeluarkan peluh. my hubby akan selesaikan kereta. and i nak selesaikan umah. petang ni nak gi cosway gi beli penyapu wipe. wiken ni jugak nak beli perkakas beraya. i nak terai buat nasi impit mini dengan kuah kacang resipi mak. mintak² menjadik.

semalam i dah menjalankan aktiviti kepupusan wang ringgit dalam poket. beli baju tido adam. and beli baju untuk anak² sedara and ma. hope they like it...

cucu uwan still thinking about uwan as the raya is just around the corner. Ya Allah, permudahkanlah perjalanan hambaMu ini menempuh dugaan dalam hidupnya. Kau cucurilah rahmat ke atas mereka yg telah pergi dan persenangkanlah perjalanan hamba²Mu menemuiMu kelak. amin

dreaming......

my first car was kancil 650 kaler putih. then i dah keje, i tukar kancil 850 kaler biru pulak. lepas keta tu eksiden kat on my way to melaka, i tuka kisya kaler merah itam. now i'm dreaming about this car...



biler agak²nyer i nak dapat pakai keta ni eh.. harga pun i tak tau.. description about the car pun i tak tau. i tau, dari luar keta ni cantik. tu je lah... hikhikhik..

kalo tidak, i dah beli satria (instead of kisya). tapi ntah nape i beli kisya. save budget sket. i rasa i minat keta 2 pintu pulak kot.

cucu uwan nak dream away.. mana tau.. malam ni dapat merasa "bawak" 206 dalam mimpi ke.. mimpi pun jadiklah....

yyyaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkkkdddiiiiiiiissssssshhhhh!!!!!!

aaaa.. rasakan.. apa ko rasa? oren? stroberi? twinkle² little star.. aaaa.. padan muka ko.. degil lagi.. tak paham lagi bahasa melayu.. serve u rite.. i've told u not to start a nasty game with me kan.. too badlah... u ask for it.. tingting..

going into trouble with my neber is the last thing i wanna do. dalam Islam pun ada cakap, kita tak boleh menyakiti hati jiran. but then, my neber has been way tooooooo much..

i've told her personally. i need the parking space for my other car. itu during the 1st week of posa. i cakap bahasa melayu since she's a malay lady. i hope she could understand.. oh tidak rupanya. tak paham bahasa melayu nampaknya ini org. so we decided to park our wira bumper-to-bumper with her jentu. i berani letak cenggitu sebab i saw her plate dah patah. so lantaklah kan. dia tak leh salahkan i. tapi tak paham lagi rupanya. then i buang kotak sampah dekat keta dia. laaaa....itu pun tak paham² lagi. bebal rupanya dia nih.

last nite, i've come to my limit. payah sungguh nak suh org bebal ni paham. i wrote a note:

halo.

didn't i tell u that we need the parking?
tak paham bahasa melayu?
i've tried in BM & i hope you cold understand in BI as i dont have any third neither forth language in mind.
if you have the brain to buy a car for ur necessities, pls have the brain to consider about others' necessities as well

then i left for buka posa kat umah bapak. i balik, still keta jentu-yg-harus-dibakar-hingga-rentung tu ada lagi kat depan umah. apa lagi yg budak jentu ni tak paham? i remember very well that when i was about to leave the house, she was infront of the porch going into her fiance's car and she turned to her car and definitely she saw the note that i left. and i remember precisely that the note was gone when i came back. tak reti baca bi pulak ke dia ni?

i bukak pago. i amik sampah yg lori sampah tak amik, i campak atas keta dia. bukan dalam plastik sampah tu.. adalah ketas plumbing, dengan polisterin book case. i campak kat keta dia. and the polisterin landing baiiikkk punya atas keta dia. few minutes later, the owner of the jentu-yg-tak-paham-bahasa pun keluar dengan moncong ala² penyangkut baju kat kedai dobi. at that time, i dah pedulik hapa dengan dia. "belilah lagi 10 keta parking depan umah ni. susah sangat ke nak paham apa org cakap" payah! memang payah sangat nak bercakap ngan org macam ni. i dengar dia vrooom² depan umah. peh tu dia parking belakang my waja kat depan umah makcik leha (their neber). - i parked my waja kat depan umah makcik leha tu kejap sebab i kena alih wira yg dah duduk depan pago tu -. peh tu dia hempas pintu dan masuk.. kejap lagi.....

honk.. honk..

ahhahahahahahaha.. itulah dia.. tak guna jadik org bodo sombong ni.. si jentu kena kuar balik sebab ada satu merc tak leh lalu. dia sudah parking senget and the other side of the road adalah waja abg jentu a.k.a tokeh ikan yg juga telah makan jalan. merc siap turun nak carik owner 2 keta yg bodo itu.. hahahahahah.. memang i gelak besar..

buat lagi.. buatla lagi..

i tak marah dia nak parking situ kalo i ada satu keta je. i dun mind. pakailah parking tu macam parking bapak ko punya sorang. tak kisah. tapi i ada 2 keta. takan i nak gi kaco parking space umah org lain. pikir² sikit. u nak duduk dalam community, be among the community. ni u buat hal sendiri. i know i'm new in that area. but that doesnt mean u can do what u want to do and i cannot do things on my own compound.

kalo i tak cakap ngan dia oklah. maybe that was my mistake. tapi ni i dah cakap apa yg tak paham lagi tu? apa yg susah sangat nak pahamnyer? dan dia tak boleh nampak sendiri ke i have 2 cars. dua. two. kalo dia yg ada 4 keta tu pun bersepah parking. apatah lagi i yg ada 2 ni. i cuma mintak space which is suppose to be mine. salah ke? nape dia tak parking dekat umah sebelah dia? sebab org tu org umno? dan awak org pas? come on lah.. wake up! ideologi hanyalah ideologi. tak ke mana ideologi tu kalo u mati besok. Allah s.w.t tak separate umatNya berdasarkan ideologi politik suma tu. tak de gunanya buat tembok cina semata² org sebelah tak sokong ideologi yg awak sokong.

what i ask was only consideration. it's not fair if other people have to park away from their house just because ur car is there. why others have to compensate to what u want. u nak pakai kawasan dia, u la kena berkorban.

kalo tengok dia basuh ruang porch dia tu lagi rasa sakit hati. sumer keta dia letak luar. sudahnya, org lain tak leh parking. dah tau keta banyak, parkinglah kat kawasan padang yg dah tentu tak halang org nak lalu lalang. ni nak parking depan mata. kuar pagar nak tengok keta. mana dapat.....

cucu uwan ingatkan leaving on my own, i could keep my temper down. i've tried. but somebody just cant see others living happily ever after...

*al-fatihah to kak marina noor. she passed away on the same day hendon kembali ke rahmatullah. i lambat post sebab i nak make sure i got the right person. she passed away peacefully lepas solat zohor, on the way to sjmc. it's just like drama kan? Allah Maha Mengetahui. dariNya kita datang, kepadaNya jua kita kembali*

babai ramadhan, halo syawal

anak bulan sudahlah nampak
esok raya atau tidak....

i'm in raya mood oledi. pagi² datang opis dah dengar ucapan & lagu raya. meriah sungguh.. posa 7 hari kantoi. adoh. akanku ganti diketika bulan syawal yg mulia ini jua.. tak kosa la nak tangguh lagi..

semalam i gi beli baju raya.. terbang melayang RM370.00 (ringgit malaysia tiga ratus tujuh puluh sahaja). sahaja hek enko.. melayang duit... time kat kedai tu, oklah, amik jelah... peh tu dalam keta.. adohai.. napelah i beli baju. macamlah tak de kedai lain lagi dah. apa yg lawo eh baju tu? ntahlah... adalah lampu lip lap keliling leher ngan tangan tu. tu je lah. baju tu quite big. L size. akak tu suh amik M size. i refused. yelah. ngan anak sorang yg ligat cam gasing ding-dang tu. tak de mananyer i bulih pakai baju kecik² lagi. kejap duduk, kejap bangun, kejap lari, kejap tunduk.. hish.. tak delah.. peh tu dia nak oter kasik kecik sket. tang labuh kain ngan baju i kasik. tang nak kecik sket, tak yahlah. rogi i beli mahai² peh tu kasik balik kain kat dia.. ooo.. tak payah.. beso pun beso la..

kuih raya i tawon ni ala² congkelat kebanyakannya. ngan kak amy, kuih dahlia. ngan sue i amik kuih cornflakes madu. peh tu kuih badam kat norman. nape i amik kuih ni pun i tak tau.. kuih tart kat anne. kuih congkelat kat ayu. london almond kat kak lela. kuih apa ntah lagi.. ada lagi la kot yg i tak ingat. tunggu jelah kuih tu datang.. kang bayo je. bak kata bapak "kuih kertas".. hahahah.. tak main tunjuk dah.. main tengok dalam gambo je.. aaa... kuih amirul nak buat lagi.. ayoyo.. tak cukup balanglah nak isi kuih.. last wiken i gi umah my sis in law kat PJ. dia ajak wat kuih - congkelat rice tart. dalam dia ada jem stroberi. sedap weh.. i ni dah terlambat sampai. so, keje i, masukkan kuih yg dah 90% siap tu ke dalam dulang untuk dibakar. mmmm.. besarnya jasa i terhadap kuih-muih itu. hajat di hati nak datang balik malam tu, nak buat 2nd edition. konon jelah. dah tertempek kat umah. pekena laksa mak uteh. kira pogeditlah nak buat kuih tu... kenyang banget buka posa malam tu. dengan che nani punya family came over for berbuka. mak uteh & family lagi. penuh umah tu. akut pun siap promote kuih congkelat seciput buatan buah hati tercinto. ahaks.. *sedap kut.. suhlah dia buat lagi... tima kasih*

1st raya i'll be in KL. then 2nd raya i akan pulang menemui keluarga mertua yg tercinta di kola krai. i had a very memorable raya last year. di pagi raya yg hening.. i pun seperti lazim yg i buat kat KL ni, nak siap²kanlah meja ke umah ke apa ke. tapi i tengok one of my ipar tidoq lagi. so i ingat, tak pelah.. mungkin lambat sket. peh tu i dah siap², i gi lah dapoq.. "maaakkkkkkkk... mm..mmm..mmm. mee goreng.. cenggana aku nak makan ni" i have never expected to makan mee goreng pagi raya. kalo i kat KL biasalah dengan rendang, ketupat, nasi impit, kuih raya, kuah kacang, etc. sekali i tengok mee goreng, pala i tak leh tune. tengok jelah mee goreng tu. the same feeling i had when i went to my atuk sedara's house in t'ganu few years back. berpinar kejap kepala ni nak tune bekpes makan satay.. tawon ni tak tau la cenggana. dengar² my sis in law nak buat laksa. tapi since my hubby's kazen yg pandai masak tu tak baper sihat, tak taulah camner. one thing best kat kola krai ni.. bekpes makan kat umah org ni, lunch makan kat org ni pulak. kang dinner makan kat umah lagi satu.. wow.. meriah sungguh perutku ini dengan makanan. last year, adam tak pandai beraya lagi. baru gi 1st umah dah nak tido. so, berangkatlah mama & adam ke umah untuk tido. dah alang² adam tido, mama pun joinlah tido sama.. heheheheheheh.. lepas ke kola krai, mungkin ke t'ganu sat. tak penat sangat nak balik.. wohoooo.. balik kampung....

mak dah ready dengan pinggan mangkuk koleksi londonnyer.. nak dengo citer pasal pinggan mak? hikhikhik.. tiap² tawon mak sure bagi kitorang di pagi raya makan pakai pinggan mahal dia nih. time ni nak rasa jadik anak raja pun bulih. sebabnya, dia hidang, peh tu nanti dia tulung basuh pinggan.. aaaa.. tapi dengan syarat, jangan ada bunyik kat pinggan tu. jangan calar²kan. jangan makan kasar². lepas tu, lepas makan pagi tu, kang dia balut balik pinggan tu masuk dalam lemari. the end. itulah cycle hayat pinggan mahal mak. nasib baik ada raya haji. merasalah 2 kali setawon pakai pinggan dia tu.....

cucu uwan needs to go for tadarus oledi. ustazah dah panggil.. selamat hari raya everyone. jaga diri bebaik. jangan bawak keta laju². ngantuk tido. jangan bawak keta.. semoga syawal ni, membuatkan silaturrahim kita lebih erat. semoga kita semua terus mendalami erti aidilfitri yg sebenar...

al-fatihah

i've never known her, datin seri hendon mahmood in person. but i remember reading an article on her few months back. cant remember which mag. reading the article made me feel like, i knew her. i was touched by her nawaitu with all the cancer patients and also how she wants to be with people but was restricted by the sickness that she had. she seems strong. i guess, she's strong. cancer.. a silent killer. some people will just regard it as destiny and counting days to end their life by not seeking any medications, etc. like hendon said, she was fortunate to have the opportunities to continue her life with the medications that some of us may not be able to afford. i think, the most important thing, she got her support. the continues support from her husband & family & also her friends. not to forget the rakyat jelata who have came and gave their morale support. there have been prayers from all sorts of rakyat jelata regardless their religions. and all wish her speedy recovery. tapi semua termaktub. ajal & pertemuan semua dah ditentukan. sudah di takdirkan. kita insan kerdil yg hanya mampu merancang dan Allah jualah yg menentukan. allahyarham meninggal dunia this morning. my sis informed me via ym. and i was stunned.. "bukan baru je i baca dia dalam keadaan sihat & stabil?". mmm.. i spread the words around. everybody was shocked. tak sangka kan.. *and yet ada jugak yg amik kesempatan nak sebarkan rumours on tun ghaffar.. hampeh... dan i antara yg terkena la....*

this news made me winding back to the memory of uwan. selalunya kalo ada berita kematian, uwan akan pegi. pegi bukan setakat pegi. pegi dengan niat nak mandikan jenazah, kalo jenazah tu pompuan. kalo org tu sakit pun, uwan akan gagahkan untuk pegi melawat. uwan akan cuba.. walaupun diri dia dari pandangan mata kami, tak de lah kuat mana lagi. but uwan knew her strength. uwan tak kisah. turun naik bas. tukar² bas. tunggu bas berejam². no complaint from uwan. uwan rajin gi pasar pudu. dia tak membeli kat pasar biasa. dia sanggup pegi pudu. pasar coket tu pun mainan dia jelah. semua selekoh dia tau. semua marhaban, semua kenduri, semua mesyuarat, dia pegi. apa yg dia tak pegi. asal ada org menjemput. dia gagahkan. tg malim, segamat, kuala kangsar, mana saja. name it. dia akan pegi. tak ada org bawak, dia gi sendiri naik bas. tarak hal. satu masa, badan kita ni, tak larat jugak nak bawak diri kita. uwan mula sakit lutut. uwan pegi berubat doktor. samping tu uwan berubat sinseh. bomoh, tukang urut, sumer uwan pegi. tapi, mungkinlah uwan dah tak gagah mana.

uwan mula sakit kaki bila jatuh dari bas. tapi uwan still ke sana sini. tapi dia lebih suka org amik dan hantar. tapi sama je.. org amik org hantar, umah uwan 5 tingkat. uwan tingkat ke lima. naik turunlah uwan setiap hari. tapi uwan still uwan. dia tak kisah..

uwan penah jatuh sakit. terlantar kat hospital. peh tu uwan baik. uwan tak de apa². alhamdulillah.. peh tu uwan jatuh lagi.. kat umah. nasib baik pokde ada lagi. tak kuar gi solat subuh lagi. pok de dengar uwan jatuh. pok de angkat. uwan tak sedar. pok de talipon i. i suh along pegi sebab kalo i pegi pun bukannya i leh tolong angkat uwan. uwan was warded. that weekend i gi jumpa uwan kat spital. uwan kata doktor kata dia kena kencing manis. dia marah maklong sebab bagi dia gula². uwan tak kuat makan gula². dia makan cinggam. i beli pampers untuk uwan sebab uwan tak leh jalan. uwan tak kuat nak jalan.

peh tu uwan bulih keluar. uwan duk umah bapak. uwan terlantar. memula bulih jugak bangun ke belakang kalo nak ke toilet. peh tu dah tak larat. in addition, tak ramai org dah kat umah. along balik selalunya lambat. so bapak tak leh angkat dia. therefore, pakaikan dia pampers. i ingat... uwan selalu kata "tak dapatlah uwan gi umrah. napelah jadi macam ni". uwan seakan² menyesali takdir. sesuatu yg uwan tak penah buat. pok de dulu addict. uwan sorang yg tak penah jemu ubatkan pok de. ada je usaha yg dia buat. dan uwan sajalah yg sibuk nak ke penjara di pagi raya time org sumer sibuk nak beraya dengan dia. dan doa uwan diterima Allah. pok de sembuh and jadik org yg paling taat dengan suruhanNya. pok de tak lalai lagi.

uwan dah tak larat nak angkat badan dia. time tu bulan posa. uwan tak bulih posa lagi. tapi uwan tak banyak makan. uwan tak berapa makan. mungkinlah uwan dah terbiasa posa sunat senin, khamis, jumaat. jadi kurang makan tak jadik masalah bagi dia. i was so glad bila uwan nak makan bubur yg i beli kat umah biru. banyak dia makan. tapi peh tu dia tak berapa makan dah. i ingat.. time tu kul 4 pagi. uwan terbuang air besar. takanlah i nak kejutkan maklong. so i basuh. sebelum basuh i buat niat "ya Allah. janganlah hambaMu ini mencebik dengan najis uwanku ini. jauhkanlah aku dari segala kesusahan membersihkan uwanku ini". alhamdulillah. i tak bau apa². nothing. zero. i bersihkan uwan cam i bersihkan adam. pelan². takut uwan sakit. berkali² i tanya, "uwan sakit ke?".

lepas tu uwan ke umah mok teh & mak long. i tak leh lupa. satu hari mak long sms bapak, suh i bacakan yasin untuk uwan. i ingatkan something bad had happened. tak de. cuma uwan asik panggil i. "na.. tolong uwan na".. that wiken i balik umah mak long. jumpa uwan sebelum i balik krai beraya. i bagi duit raya kat uwan. i mintak mahap dari ujung rambut uwan. i mintak dia halalkan makan minum i. i cakap kat dia, i sayang dia. uwan cuma jawab "aku tau". uwan sah tak berdaya.

balik raya, uwan dah tak larat. uwan dah tak larat sangat. along ada amik gambo uwan. gambo terakhir uwan. one thing about uwan. mulut dia tak lekang dengan kalimah² memuji Allah Yg Maha Esa. marah ke sakit ke kalimah² indah saja yg dengar dari mulut dia.

uwan nak balik kg. pak long bawak gi tg malim. kg uwan. mungkin uwan dah tau.. suratan hidup dia akan berakhir di mana dia bermula. uwan dah terlentok time sampai umah wan chik. sehari kendian, i jumpa uwan. i tak tau hari itu akan jadik hari terakhir i suap uwan air. hari itu akan jadik hari terakhir i "bersembang" dengan uwan. uwan seakan tau hari akhirnya. uwan tak makan. uwan dah bersihkan perut dia. uwan pegi dengan tenang tepat tengah malam. bersaksikan bapak, pak long, mak long, wan chik and mok su ana. mok teh tak sempat tengok uwan pergi. selang beberapa minit je.

i could spend pages and million of words about uwan. i have a lot of things about her. nantilah i sambung lagi... air mata ni dah tak larat nak berderai lagi. mak baru balik. kang dia kata apa pulak tengok i nangis depan pc. adam pun dah ngantuk. cucu uwan nak balik umah dulu.

OCC... i'm in love

i'm at the moment.. addicted, attached, engaged, glued, stamped, to this series. american chopper - orange county chopper. channel 50, astro. kul baper tak sure. kenkadang tertengok jumaat malam. kenkadang tengok ahad ke sabtu pagi. tapi sure tengok punyalah. well, addicted in my sense it's not i set my alarm or i tak kuar on that day and time or things like that. but i'll make myself, sepossible²nya untuk tengok citer ni. there's nothing great about building the choppers for me. yelah. i masih berjiwa pompuan ok.. but then i enjoy the series for the hiruk pikuk made by those people. sr, paulie @ jr and especially mikey. aaaaaaa.. i'm in love with mikey.. oh mikey...


From http://www.orangecountychoppers.com:

"Like his brother, Mikey went to work for Orange County Ironworks at age 12, working on and off until he graduated from high school. From there he went on to community college, but after a series of zeroes he realized it wasn't quite his scene. It was back to Dad's company. Mikey toiled at Ironworks until he turned 20 and moved to Tempe, Arizona, where he had six different jobs in five months:


Bouncer at a bar, which didn't work out because it interfered with his night life.
Busboy, which didn't work out because he was "treated like crap".
Telemarketer selling cell phones and cell-phone services, which didn't work out because he hates being bothered at home by telemarketers.
Valet parking attendant, which didn't work out because they made him run... and shave.
Movie-theater guy, which was enjoyable because he didn't really do anything but see free movies.
But overall, Arizona wasn't quite Mikey's pace either, so New York beckoned once his money ran out...

Back at home Mikey did carpentry with a friend for a year before again returning to Orange County Ironworks and working with his brother Daniel. Then, after two years of a job that was "unrewarding, cold and cruel," he went to a tavern one January night and met the man who would advocate his hiring at Orange County Choppers: Rusty, a.k.a. Russell Muth, producer of American Chopper.

Mikey was soon on board at OCC, answering phones, picking up parts, popping bubble wrap and taking out the trash. But within two weeks of his new job he was already on the road attending bike shows with his brother and father, and his stand-in was already out performing him. So while he has two people working under him now, he's not quite sure what his job is anymore. But does that really matter? "

bouncer jatuh beskal bebudak, mana gayalah gamaknya...

~o~

yesterday i was totally pissed off wif my neber. despite telling her that i need that space for my other car, she still park her car at my little space that MPAJ-allocated-for-the-owner-of-the-house. i came back yesterday and saw her car. and my hubby's car has to be parked kat depan umah ombujang. kalo i tak penah bercakap ngan dia, fine. i dun mind. my mistake by not telling her that i need that space. tapi ni i dah penah cakap. and she could clearly see both of our cars. ape yg tak pahamnyer? ok. mungkinlah. yes. maybelah. dia kata dia nak park there up till 6 pm where my hubby selalu balik. but that's not my concern. that's my area. and i want it. regardless my hubby balik kul baper sekali pun, parking jelah kat tempat lain. umah ombujang kosong, nape tak parking? umah 2134 kosong nape tak park? ape yg sumer keta dia kena letak depan mata dia aje? i pedulik hapa u tak kawan ngan umah 2134 kan. i pedulik hapa u nak buat tembok cina kat umah u tu. tapi please give some consideration to others as well. kalo MPAJ jumpa aedes kat depan umah i tu, bukan u yg kena saman. i yg kena. so bagi jelah area tu to me. lenkali nak parking banyak² keta sangat, beli umah banglo. make sure sebelah umah tu ada taman bola. boleh parking sumer keta kat situ. when i stayed with my dad, we had 4 cars + 1 bike. and all are within our compound. tak de parking kat luar. sebab tak mo kaco org lain. susahlah deme nih... one day.. one day nanti.. i got my digital camera, the first pix i nak amik is the pix of tokeh ikan punya keta. keta yg tak leh parking kat atas tanah kalo tak, tayar dia kena migren. geram tau.. geram....

ngucap cucu uwan.. awak tu posa.. ggrrrrrrr

pak u..

hahaha.. kuit kan.. nanti nak ajo adam. peh tu nak suh dia tunjuk kat those lousy drivers yg tak reti bagi signal, potong queue dan memandu dalam keadaan berbahaya dan juga sebagainya.. heheheheh.. to be honest kan, my middle finger ni, memang tak bulihlah duk diam² kalo tengok aksi² kuwang didikan lousy drivers ni... memang dia akan terkeluar dengan sendirinya. *my sentence sounds... mmmm... luncah pulak..* hehehe.. udah.. baca dengan clear mind. my fren penah citer.. dekat opis dia ada satu awek ala² suka cakap omputeh tapi tak baper pandai cakap omputeh. then one day dia sudah marah sama dia punya kawan. dengarlah hiruk pikuk akibat api kemarahannya itu. dan di hening petang itu juga, "pak u" kedengaran.. seketika lepas itu, masing² terpaku.. "pak u pun pak u la.. sukati aku lah pak u ke f**k u ke..". hikhikhik.. nasib ko la labi...

hari ni i sembang² ngan my old skoolmate. lama tak sembang ngan dia. dah 10 tawon tinggalkan sekolah.. wow.. macam².. but one thing for sure, we are going to be reunited... u heard me bebeh.. REUNION.. yiha.. raya ni nak kena carik kepala² ali baba bujang lapuk untuk buat kelija² dalaman. peh tu "kilat menyambar otak".. peh tu all the 95's akan bertemu semula dalam keadaan berdable triple. dengar tu alfa, beta, abakus, perintis, koperat, hamka, aset, mmm.. apa lagi eh.. lupalah.. kita akan berjumpa semula.. yay.... *aiseh.. komfemlah kena keje kuat kuruskan badan ni... ayoyo*

my hubby ada pertemuan ngan the smachians dia on the 22 october kat bangi. dia tengah pujuk i tak payah pegi dengan bagi alasan yg bulih diterima pakai. dan i tengah ala² majuk. hahaha.. dia tak tau, i dah ada rancangan ngan biras pertama a.k.a akak sulung dia a.k.a kak ti nak buat kuih hari tu.. hikhikhik... tak pe.. tak pe.. biar dia pujuk dulu.. heheheh.. omlaki ni kena ajar sikit kan.. biarkan.. biar dia pujuk. belikan i baju raya ada lampu liplap , gencu bibir merah menyala dan pastinya, i nak claim digital camera dulu.. hikhikhik.. peh tu i cakaplah kat dia, "oklah yang. go ahead. it's a good idea after all".. hehehehheh

mak baru balik london, i ni secara tiba² terasa pulak nak gi melawat negara org ni.. best jugak kan.. the last time i pegi melawat negara org, sebab ikut my mom gi berlin la.. peh tu dapatlah melawat belgium & london.. kira berjalan jugaklah tu... i nak gi umrah dulula.. tapi my hubby nak gi haji terus. mmm.. tak pelah.. gi la mana² yg mampu dulu. i ni sabah sarawak pun tak sampai lagi..

cucu uwan has enough said.. nak berangan sat... on the gath.. on the trip.. mmmm........

Oxford Dictionary's latest definition says

Divorce: Future tense of marriage.

Heart : A toy you can play and could easily broke but the original shape is still remain

Player: A person with thousand skills of cheating to win the survival game.

Love: 1) A game where you can fool and can be fooled. 2) A vision of blind eyes.

Email: A field we can shoot each other and die without bleeding.

SMS: A highway to start and end-up relationship.

Hand phone: Accessory to show-off, but normally not capable for outgoing call

Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power

Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.

Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life to be spoken of when dead.

Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Father: A banker provided by nature.

Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

~o~

anybody watch dr. house?

i dun know why. but i like this fella. dr. gregory house. kerek-ter kuwang hasam dia tu cam best. and i like it when he breaks the rules. tak taulah kalo ada doc kat sini cenggitu.. heheheh.. first time tengok citer ni, i thought he would have the difficulties in saying all those medical terms, this and that.. i pun terpikiolah baper kali kena cut & action. peh tu i terpikio balik.. "alah.. kalo salah pun tak de mananyer org tau.. dia cakap dah la laju" kan? heheheheh.. then i tengok, kaki dia, kensiannyer dia.. baper lama lah dia kena blakon cenggitu.. peh tu last week punya series, i terperasan his shoe.. mmmm.. that's not a normal person punya kasut. so hari ni barulah i pegi ke http://www.axnasia.com . kisahnyer.. memanglah dia sakit.. ahaks...

cucu uwan: "marilah kita tengok citer ini kawan². syiok ko... setiap selaso, seploh malam... balik terawih tu teruslah tengok tv nuuuuu...."

*silent*

a good fren of mine: ko tak terasa that somebody might terasa hati with what u wrote?
me: *silent*

~o~

DAMN.. adohai.. betul jugak tu.. i might... but on second thought kan.. mmm.. it's my blog. kan? so i think i can express whatever i wanna say la kan?

actually, being a blogger was the last thing i wanna be. i have a number of friends yg dah ada log. still i tak terasa nak buat blog. but then, i think i need more private time and space for me, myself. so here i am, with my blog..

there are times that i wanna be more than being heard. i wanna be listened. and i wanna 2-ways-communication. i wish to be commented on what i did. it's just now that i dun have that "environment" anymore. i still have my best buddies as my shoulder to cry on. but i think, they have lesser time for me compared to the time that they used to "rent" their ears for me. yelah.. masing² dah ada committment. masing² dah berdua, tiga. dah berganda². masing² ada jiwa kaco masing². i have to let them free with their own path..

i know i still have my childish thingy in my day-to-day way of thinking. tak taulah i terbawak² dari opis lama ke.. memang pangai i ke.. ntahlah.. but i wanna change it. that's why, i guess, i need a companion to make the changes. i need somebody who disagree and talk to me. of courselah cakap baik². most of you know, kalo i tengah naik angin, better not to talk to me. hahhaha.. kalo tak, dengan korang² sekali melayang dibuai angin.

for this, i miss my best companion. he used to listen to me and give me komen² yg membina. he would tell me what's rite and what's wrong. but now? ntah.. it seems the link to the komen² membina dah ilang. he doesnt comment on any of my actions, nor my saying anymore. talking to him, it's like talking to oneself. macam ala² cakap ngan dinding pun ada.. i had the thinking.. mmm.. maybelah dia dok risau of his father yg tak berapa sihat. tapi tak delah pulak nampak gayanyer. or maybe dia banyak keje. tak delah jugak. so i'm in puzzle. why cant he be the person that he used to be? i miss those moments. i miss the time when i membebel cam tak hengat, and he sat there silently & listened. then after, he will call me back to give some good advice on what i should do and commented on what i have done wrong. i hope i'd have him back.. for good.. for now.. forever..

back to my friend's Q. now i have the answer.. "nah.. i dun think she or he will sakit hati. i'm here just typing out my inner feeling. how i felt. how i dont wanna this feeling. i wanna the "silent killer" out of me. i have to spit it out. i diam², i yg rasa sakit hati. kang lunyai pulak ikan kembong kat dapoq tu.." ahaks.. so the simple ABC solution, this blog is my saying. this blog is my opion. this blog is how i felt. i wanna be "listened" thru my new liver - my blog.

for now, cucuuwan hopes nobody sakit hati. Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri (aidilfikri for akut).. hikhikhik... maaf zahir dan batin.. 0-0 till next year..

like unc frankie said...

And now the end is near

So I face the final curtain

My friend, I'll say it clear

I'll state my case of which I'm certain

I've lived a life that's full

I've traveled each and every highway

And more, much more than this

I did it my way

Regrets, I've had a few

And then again, too few to mention

I did what I had to do

I saw it through without exemption

I planned each charted course

Each careful step along the byway

And more, much more than this

I did it my way

There were times

I'm sure you knew

When I bit off much more than I could chew

But through it all

When there was doubt

I ate it up and I spit it out

I faced it all and I stood tall

I did it my way

I've loved, I've laughed and cried

I've had my fill, my share of losing

And now as tears subside

I find it amusing

To think I did all that

May I say, not in a shy way

No, oh no, not me

I did it my way

For what are we all, what have you really got

If not yourself, then you have naught

Just say the things you truly feel

And not the words of one who kneels

The record shows I took the blows

And did it my way

My way

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

akut: ko tau.. anem kata.. "nanti akak ko dah kawin, nanti dia dah tak hiraukan ko. nanti bila dia dah ada anak, lagilah dia tak hiraukan ko". nanti ko dah kawin peh tu ko dah ada anak, ko pun mesti cenggitu

aku: lain org lainlah.. buat apa dengar cakap org

~o~

and now it's happen. i ke yg tak pedulikan akut? i ke yg tak peduli apa jadik kat akut, sampaikan any updates on her i kena tengok kat frensta dia je. has she ever told me about fix? nope. where did i know? frensta. how does she felt on the first day of posa? down.. how did i know? of course, sumber² yg boleh dipercayai.. her blog. i penah dengar apa² dari mulut akut? takde.. so, i ke yg menjauhkan diri & tak mempedulikan dia? atau dia yg melarikan diri & tak mempedulikan i? yelah.. org dah ada ahkak baru.. mana best nak citer ngan ahkak lama.. dah ada gading. apadehal nak sembang ngan tanduk lagi.. eh.. mmmm.. yelah kot... nak jawab soklan pun kena tunggu ahkak gading. nak makan pun kena tunggu ahkak gading. tak sudi nak makan ngan ahkak tanduk eh. apatah lagi nak berjalan² ngan ahkak tanduk... yelah.. ahkak tanduk dah ada anak. dah ada laki.. dah duk umah sendiri. dah tak de masa untuk akut. dan sebab itu jugaklah ahkak tanduk tak leh tegur apa akut buat. tak layak gamaknyer ahkak tanduk menegur apa akut nak buat. sampaikan biler kena tegur akut sanggup tinggalkan ahkak tanduk dalam ujan dengan anaknya yg demam itooo. tak pelah.. que sera sera.. what will be.. will be... *think positive cucu uwan.... at least u have somebody to look on her* yeah... maybe....

kenkadang... ye.. i berkecik ati dengan akut.. maybe because we used to hang around together. and now that i've my own things, all the "together" thingy drifted apart. maybe i'm not the best listener, the best advisor for her.. so, i have to admit things that maybe i dun wish to admit.. things have changed and to love a person is to let her go.... so, let her be... let her stand on her own feet. let her choose the path that she wish to choose. let her has her own strength to put herself up on the ground. i cant just hold her tight and ask her to stand when she wants to crawl.

~o~

there's time that it's difficult to talk to somebody by not hurting him or her. so the que sera sera rules take action. tell a lie.. and it works. omN9 tu cuci toilet? manalah i tau... toilet umah mak? come on la..... rajin sangat ke dia? two times five just like u only.. the name made u talk rite.. mmmm.. oklah.. kira i pandai jugaklah jadik saikaterik..

and now, be positive cucu uwan.. u can do it....

for akut, i wish u the best...

for ahkak gading, i reserve my comment... u're now part of the family.. welcome aboard... end of sentence.

for my daling, the chosen one u are... u no need to ask whether or not i love u... i've decided to love u more than 365 days ago.. and yet, no r.e.g.r.e.t...

P.E.N.A.T

dah dekat setawon i keje, nilah time i rasa penat giler... giler punya penat. berlari-berkejaran-ala²-saripah aini dari satu pc ke satu pc. rasa² dah ilang dekat 8 kilo da ni.. *julie, jgn jeles... hakhakhak*. penat balik dari krai pun tak settle down lagi. nak lipat baju 2 bakul lagi. adohai.. memerah keringat betul la...


i balik krai last wiken. ayah kurang sihat. tapi Alhamdulillah, he's getting better. bile tengok dia makan tu rasa sedap juga mata memandang. yg paling best tengok dia habiskan murtabak.. i memang tabiklah omkelantan. makanlah manis mana, level diabetes derang at minimum level je.. the murtabak was manis. YUP!! MANIS.. they put keledek among others. so, u could imagine eating karipap keledek instead of murtabak. yg paling best sekali pegi pasar ramadhan kat sana, with RM7.70 = penuh meja. kat KL? jangan haraplah.. yesterday i spent about RM15.00 for nasik ayam, air temikai ngan otak² - for 2 people.


cucu uwan wants to play games kejap... penat ni.. tensi pun ada.... on second thought.. nak titunlah.. sempat tak eh...

hari ni...

merantuk pun ada....
rasa cam nak titun pun ada....
cepatlah balik....
awat rasa cam lambatnyer hari ni...

mak... cepatlah mai... nak balik nih......
hhuuuwwwaarrrrgggghhhhhhhhh.....

ku mohon..

setiap hariku mohon agar kau sentiasa
memberiku ketenangan dalam hati kekuatan
menempuhi segala dugaan yang mencabar ini
pasti punya ertinya

Engkau beriku harapan
menjawab segala persoalan
hadapi semua dalam tenang
dengan merasa kesyukuran
ku doa Kau selalu
mengawasi gerak geriku
berkatilah ku penuh rahmat dariMu

oh Tuhan
terangkan hati dalam sanubariku
untuk menempuhi segala hidup penuh cabaran ini

Oh Tuhan
ku berserah segalanya kepadaMu
agar jiwaku tenang dengan bimbinganMu selalu

ada kalanya ku merasa
hidup ini seperti kaca
jikalau tidak bersabar
hancur berderailah akhirnya
tabahkanlah hatiku melalui semua itu
oh... kuatkanlah
cekalkanlah diriku

curahkanlah nikmat mu pada hidup ku

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i terleka. mungkin juga terlupa. dan mungkin tak ingat. dalam ghairah nak sambut posa kat umah, i terlupa i still have a bapak yg nak sambut posa ngan anak dia. i terlupa yg i ada adik yg nak berbuka dengan akak dia. lupa.. lupa sangat... hari ni i tak lupa. hari ni i ingat.. and i kena selalu ingat, i have a FAMILY.. and somehow or rather they need me as much as i need them..

someone has hurt my feeling as much as i've hurt his. biarlah.. sedangkan lidah lagi tergigit... i believe we need our own "privacy space" to heal..

kut, i miss uwan as much as u do. no more baulu, kuih ijo, roti jala, baju kurung, ketupat and most of all, tak de org yg nak kerah kita gi kubur moksu & mektam.. tak de lagi panjat tangga pagi raya - which with +ve mind, "kuruslah kita balik dari umah uwan neh".. and so much true, that kita akan dengan rela hati balik kg. tapi tak dapat dah nak cium, peluk, usik² uwan as much as used to do.. dapat usap batu nesan dia aje. tak de lagi duit raya nak bagi, and Al-Fatihah sebagai pengganti..

cucu uwan asik menangis dari pagi.......

<<<---- uwan my daling..

ramadhan datang lagi..

untuk i ramadhan datang hari².. hahahahahaha... untuk yg memahami jelah.. yg tak paham tu, angguk² geleng² jelah....

it's the first ramadhan for me duduk ngan my own family. everything on my own.. wow.. pagi tadi semangat bangun sahur. esok lusa tataulah. kantoi kot..

2 hari tak masuk opis. emel.... menimbun.. tima kasih kawan²ku. akanku baca hari ini juga.

i went for training - personal development programme. it's kindda good training - for the good package ~ the trainer was extremely good, the food (sampai mc la i on the 2nd day), the trainer punya partner pun telah mengindahkan pemandangan~ hikhikhikhik

i learnt one thing for sure. we have to be positive. no matter how stress we are, depressed, tensed, frust tetonggeng, etc.. we have to stay positive. it's fun learning....

last nite, i cuba stay positive-sepositive yg bulih. tapinyer, with my neber, still i kenot tahanlah.... i feel like parking kat dalam umah dia je semalam. despite that i've informed her that i need the parking since we have 2 cars now. "tak pelah kak.. akak paking depan dulu. malam ni keta ni tak de". malam.. malam ye... len kali cakaplah tengah malam. kan ke senang.. tak delah laki i malu dengan budak bujang sebelah umah tu. sudahnyer? budak bujang tu pun kena parking depan umah org lain.

mmmmm. kalo i nak jadik cam makhluk ijo ni bulih? aaaaarrrrrggggghhhhhhhhh...... gigit org umah depan.... gigit dia.. gigit....



cucu uwan kena belajar banyak bersabar.. beramal sebanyak2 amal.. inilah bulan yg banyak ganjarannya...